phili
07-08-2017, 07:11 AM
I had the most wonderful day yesterday out on the town with my 89 year old mother.
279452
She has mild cognitive impairment, but it doesn't interfere with knowing how she feels. The good part is that she has become very matter of fact. She said at first- 'You don't make a very good girl!' but said- "If that is how you want to dress, I will defend you. I'm worried you will get beat up."
Yesterday we went to SF by commuter train, to museums, restaurants and shops, and had a wonderful day together. When I arrived she gasped, and laughed, and then when I said 'Mom- did you change your mind about standing up for me?" she said no, and off we went. But she pressed a bit, saying, how does your wife feel about this? And that she would never marry a man in a dress- that it meant I was a girl. I said- I'm a mirl. She understood the term without explanation, and the point then was that I was one of a minority of a particular type of gender identity. She talked about how she had defended and befriended gay men in the bad old days.
We had lunch, shopped, and as I tried to get a selfie of us someone offered to take this picture, and took pleasure in doing it. Shop and restaurant people unhesitatingly served us and chatted. A baristo commented on how nice the fabric looked, and I pulled the hem up over the counter so he could feel its soft brushed cotton.
The best part was at the end of the day- she said- "No one batted an eyelash at you, or us! I like how you look in that dress. The print is wonderful and I wish I had legs like yours to show off." She said, I think the world has changed. I said- so you feel good about it? Yes, she said. Would you marry me then? I said. She said I'm too old. I said, no, I mean a man who wears a dress.
She said, "Yes".
When I dropped her off the receptionist at her retirement home came out and said 'Phil- you look so pretty!" We had a nice chat, and off I went to drop off some receipts at the Parks office where I volunteer, with a normal discussion ensuing, and meeting a new staffer. I felt so natural and relieved.
I think the factor that makes it all work is that I am perfectly comfortable now. There is nothing for anyone to do but relate normally because I feel simply genuine, and for anyone to object or scowl would feel to them like they are the ones being rude or mean spirited. I see flickers of laughter when people first see me, but then even they relax and realize that I am a mirl.
I hope this encourages many here to take some big steps out of the closet!
279452
She has mild cognitive impairment, but it doesn't interfere with knowing how she feels. The good part is that she has become very matter of fact. She said at first- 'You don't make a very good girl!' but said- "If that is how you want to dress, I will defend you. I'm worried you will get beat up."
Yesterday we went to SF by commuter train, to museums, restaurants and shops, and had a wonderful day together. When I arrived she gasped, and laughed, and then when I said 'Mom- did you change your mind about standing up for me?" she said no, and off we went. But she pressed a bit, saying, how does your wife feel about this? And that she would never marry a man in a dress- that it meant I was a girl. I said- I'm a mirl. She understood the term without explanation, and the point then was that I was one of a minority of a particular type of gender identity. She talked about how she had defended and befriended gay men in the bad old days.
We had lunch, shopped, and as I tried to get a selfie of us someone offered to take this picture, and took pleasure in doing it. Shop and restaurant people unhesitatingly served us and chatted. A baristo commented on how nice the fabric looked, and I pulled the hem up over the counter so he could feel its soft brushed cotton.
The best part was at the end of the day- she said- "No one batted an eyelash at you, or us! I like how you look in that dress. The print is wonderful and I wish I had legs like yours to show off." She said, I think the world has changed. I said- so you feel good about it? Yes, she said. Would you marry me then? I said. She said I'm too old. I said, no, I mean a man who wears a dress.
She said, "Yes".
When I dropped her off the receptionist at her retirement home came out and said 'Phil- you look so pretty!" We had a nice chat, and off I went to drop off some receipts at the Parks office where I volunteer, with a normal discussion ensuing, and meeting a new staffer. I felt so natural and relieved.
I think the factor that makes it all work is that I am perfectly comfortable now. There is nothing for anyone to do but relate normally because I feel simply genuine, and for anyone to object or scowl would feel to them like they are the ones being rude or mean spirited. I see flickers of laughter when people first see me, but then even they relax and realize that I am a mirl.
I hope this encourages many here to take some big steps out of the closet!