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Kandi Robbins
07-09-2017, 02:52 PM
So, this was my day, full of small things, little moments, all of which had me smiling continually the entire time. Today is Sunday, which I usually spend at my church in the morning.


I hadn’t dressed in about a week, as my daughter was visiting, happily shutting it down for that reason. Today I wore my all-time favorite dress, went sleeveless now that I am happy with my arm tan and off I went! First stop was a Panera for my coffee. There I got a big smile and complement on my dress from the cashier. I made my coffee and headed out the door. A group of people were coming in at the same time, led by two elderly women with walkers, so I held the door. There I received smiles, thank yous and another complement on my dress. The gentleman at the end of the line got the door and said, “go ahead ma’am”. Now he certainly didn’t have to Ma’am me, but don’t think I didn’t notice and appreciate the kindness.


Church was, as usual, life affirming. Many complements on the dress. One of the women gave me a big “there she is!” (always appreciated). Another, simply the sweetest African-American woman, in her upper 60’s, always so stylish, gave me my usual hug and a “Kandi, you look so pretty today”. The smile continued to grow as I told her how much that truly meant to me and that I loved her for doing it. I sat with my lady friends, as always, where I am just one of them. Then I had to scoot right at the end of the service because I was the hostess (in place of our regular hostess who is on vacation) for our Second Sunday Lunch in a fabulous restaurant in Cleveland’s Little Italy neighborhood. I talked with everyone (about 25 people), hugging many, shaking hands and just loving my role for the day. Here is the capper and something that brought tears. A young lady, probably about 12, who was with us, but sitting at the opposite end of the long table came up to me rather shyly and told me she loved my hair! She said she wanted to tell me that all morning. I melted into a pile on the floor practically and gave her a huge hug! Trust me, these are the moments I cherish and NEVER forget! I am so blessed…..


But wait, there’s more! On my way home, I stopped at a local college theatre where I have signed up to volunteer in order to introduce myself and set things up going forward. The doll who I initially spoke with and I were like sisters almost instantly, we walked all over the place arm-in-arm and shared big hugs and “girl” kisses when I left. Also while I was there, I struck up a conversation with one of the patrons, a fabulous 60ish woman there with her elderly mother and we also ended up with the whole hug and kiss thing when they went to sit down. I also got a bunch of complements on the dress. So now I am a full-fledged volunteer for the Mercury Theatre Company where I will have an absolute ball and guess what they are performing this summer? La Cage Aux Folles and Hairspray…..how cool is that! I told my new friend I wanted to meet the “girls” (and they are so cute!) next time and she promised that I could.


A wonderful day and now it’s time to pound the pavement, I am so high right now 10 miles will fly by like nothing.


The moral…….go out…..find your place in the world…..it’s all very doable, just do it! I fool no one and as a result, get so much love I almost feel guilty about it.


And that’s my story!!

kimdl93
07-09-2017, 03:15 PM
What a fine and life affirming experience!! Thanks for sharing, Kandi!

Julie Denier
07-09-2017, 04:27 PM
So awesome! Love reading about all your outings, Kandi ;)

Connie.Marie
07-09-2017, 05:18 PM
Kandi,
Sounds like an absolute FANTASTIC day. I too love to read about them. That 12 year old HAD to be so precious.

What! No pictures of this all time favorite, much complimented, pretty dress!
Or is it the black & red print that we see as your most recent flickr post? YES, it does look great & you look great wearing it!

So with every good story, we have questions & need more details..
When are these performances at Mercury Theatre Company? We may be in town & want to go...
Is it too risky to ask what church denomination you attend? Maybe there is a branch of that denomination here that I could attend.
And the restaurant in Cleveland's Little Italy, surely they could use more patrons. What's the name of the restaurant?

Inquiring minds want to know...
Glad you had such a marvelous time.
Hugs, Connie

Kandi Robbins
07-09-2017, 06:03 PM
Connie,

Yes, it is the black & red print dress. Every time I go out, you'll see pictures and stories on my Flickr page. You are way too kind.

Regarding the theatre company, it's all on mercurytheatrecompany.org. If you really are going to be in town, PLEASE PM me and I'll make sure I work that show and maybe we could have a glass of wine afterward!

The church I attend is Methodist, but some are accepting, some not. There are quite a few denominations that are accepting (how can you believe in God, yet not be accepting???).

You sound like a native Clevelander.....

Thanks for your interest.

Kandi

Nikki A.
07-09-2017, 06:03 PM
Just shows, no reason you can't go out and be yourself. Glad you had a great time.
Connie to answer your question, The MCC churches are the most liberal, however due to the distance I started to attend a local UCC church. A little bit of a mixed reception at first (acceptance by some and a bit of iciness from others)at first since I was only just the second CD/TG attending, but it seems that things have gotten a lot better as they got to know me.

Salina
07-09-2017, 08:32 PM
What a great Sunday indeed! Thanks for sharing your great day with us! You inspire me to go out and be myself!

Michelle Crossfire
07-09-2017, 11:08 PM
Connie,

Yes, it is the black & red print dress. Every time I go out, you'll see pictures and stories on my Flickr page. You are way too kind.

Regarding the theatre company, it's all on mercurytheatrecompany.org. If you really are going to be in town, PLEASE PM me and I'll make sure I work that show and maybe we could have a glass of wine afterward!

The church I attend is Methodist, but some are accepting, some not. There are quite a few denominations that are accepting (how can you believe in God, yet not be accepting???).

You sound like a native Clevelander.....

Thanks for your interest.

Kandi

All i can say is WOW. Not familiar with the acceptance of CD'ers in the Methodist church, or any church for that matter. Going to Little Italy dressed must have been enjoyable, being that area is usually pretty crowded at times. What prompted you to go to the theater and volunteer like that? Did you attend a performance there recently? If so, dressed as Kandi? Always like reading your adventures, especially when you come downtown and the surrounding areas.

Dana44
07-09-2017, 11:17 PM
The adventures of Kandi.. Sounds like a complete day of fun.

IleneD
07-09-2017, 11:48 PM
Kandi,
What a wonderful narrative about your day out and about enjoying what many women would do on a social Sunday. Just being the girls, or family or a fellow parishioner; and doing it as You (an important part of you).
When I read stories (success stories?) like yours' I silently pray that those around me would accept Ilene to where she can live as freely and openly as Kandi seems to do. It is inspiring and gives me hope.

Your new profile pic is adorable, of course. Love the darker hair.

Rachael Leigh
07-10-2017, 01:12 PM
Kandi your outings are so wonderful and I so love reading them, this one just makes me feel so warm and I really wish
more Christian folks were as open to trans people as the ones in your church.
Thanks again for sharing such a lovely story
Your friend Rachael

Lana Mae
07-10-2017, 02:17 PM
Kandi, love your story! The acceptance is almost overwhelming! UMC is currently split on acceptance! UCC was accepting for a long time not sure what is going on now! I am building up the courage to find out at my current UMC where I am a member since my wife and I joined. Not sure how I will react at this point! Hugs Lana Mae

Allison Chaynes
07-10-2017, 03:06 PM
I appreciate you and the other girls here who share their experiences going out and living! It helps the rest of us feel more confident and inclined to try it.

Kandi Robbins
07-10-2017, 06:41 PM
What prompted you to go to the theater and volunteer like that? Did you attend a performance there recently? If so, dressed as Kandi?

I volunteer for a number of organizations, a chorus, the museum of art and am part of a volunteer network. No better way to get out dressed. I saw that they were doing La Cage and instead of buying a ticket, I inquired about volunteering. Everything I comment on here is done as Kandi, her alter ego doesn't post anything anywhere. He pretty much likes his privacy.



When I read stories (success stories?) like yours' I silently pray that those around me would accept Ilene to where she can live as freely and openly as Kandi seems to do. It is inspiring and gives me hope.

Believe me, it's not like I've been doing this all of my life. It can be done, certainly dependent on where you live. I wanted Kandi to be a real person, with real friends, with real experiences.

So I thought a lot about it. As stated above, I volunteer for quite a few organizations (they want help, then they have to accept me as I am). I frequent wine bars (generally a more accepting crowd than a sports bar, for example). I surround myself with creative people, musicians, actors, etc. (they all tend to be more accepting). This all allowed me to build my confidence significantly and now I will go anywhere I wish.

Kandi remains a secret from many (my daughters, male friends, etc.), I have chosen that because I treasure those relationships as they exist and don't wish to change them for no reason. I will continue to preach my gospel, I will continue to try and show what is possible out there and most importantly (for me), I will continue to be happy. For me, it is not necessarily about the clothes, it is about my interactions and the love I receive from others. It's so addictive! Being Kandi has opened so many other doors for me that would never have been possible. I am so lucky, blessed, thrilled about all of this. I am so very proud of myself!

Nikki A.
07-10-2017, 06:50 PM
Kandi you should be proud of yourself. Keep up the good work

Heidi Stevens
07-10-2017, 08:09 PM
You never cease to amaze me! I am one to take Heidi where ever she wants, but you have taken things to levels I can't for now. I'm in an area where there aren't enough people to allow a lot of personal interaction. In other words everybody eventually runs into others that can reveal who you are before your ready.
I hope we can get together again soon, until then keep on being yourself!

Tina Davis
07-11-2017, 01:56 PM
Kandi, I love the black and red dress and can see why it's one of your favorites! It's always so empowering to read your posts and know that we all can be accepted if we want. Never again will I let my fears prevent me from going out dressed and enjoying the time. :hugs: to you for giving us (especially me) hope, love, and encouragement!

Lana Mae, many UCC churches are accepting, my own is very much so, although I probably won't be going there dressed. If that day arrives, I can easily find another in Eastern MA just as accepting.

Connie.Marie
07-24-2017, 07:50 PM
Kandi,

Sorry for the late response,
I'm not a native Clevelander, grew up in Pittsburgh actually, but found myself working Buffalo last week.
Thanks for the website but when I went there, I realized that the days & times of your performances would not match up to when I could get there. drat!

As far as denominations, I need some help. UMC I'm assuming is the United Methodist Church but UCC is...?

Please continue to write about your adventures - I enjoy them.

Hugs, Connie

Rogina B
07-24-2017, 09:02 PM
Lana Mae, many UCC churches are accepting, my own is very much so, although I probably won't be going there dressed. If that day arrives, I can easily find another in Eastern MA just as accepting.
As a second generation,New England UU,I can assure you that you are welcome in any form of presentation..