Dressing and Anxiety

[NylonMan]

Hi, I have for the longest time now thought that there was a direct relationship to Anxiety and the urge to dress. The more Anxious I feel, the more I want to dress. Does anyone else feel the same way?

[Nikkilovesdresses]

You read my mind. I have just got through an evening with a distant family member, a nice person, but it brought up all sorts of yucky feelings about my dad etc. As soon as she'd gone I went upstairs and changed into some femme clothes- it was like taking a deep breath and letting feelings of serenity fill me again.

I totally get what you mean, and thank you for giving me the opportunity to voice it.

[Diane Taylor]

Having the urge to dress and not being able to do so can certainly lead to anxiety. Putting on the clothing you love can relieve that anxiety in a heartbeat.

[NylonMan]

Putting on the clothing you love can relieve that anxiety in a heartbeat.

Exactly Diane. If putting on the clothing can relieve the anxiety, then there is a relationship there between the two. When you are completely relaxed and under no stress, do you still get urges to dress?

[Tracii G]

What is the source of your anxiety? That is what you would need to address first I would think.

I'm so glad I don't suffer from anxiety.

[kimdl93]

One of the odd things about human beings is that we can adopt any number of behaviors to cope with anxiety, depression and fear. Its fine to have constructive methods of coping with bad feelings, but equally important to delve into the factors contributing to such feelings, whether the product of external factors, physical problems, mistaken beliefs, or destructive patterns of thought. Dressing may offer momentary relief, but if you regularly experience anxiety, consider counseling to assess and treat the condition.

[Laura912]

To follow on Kim as an illustration, flying and carving can take me to a peaceful place. Before this discussion goes further, perhaps the OP could offer a more thorough definition of "anxious" which really should not be confused with "anxiety" the latter being more toward the pathological side than the former which tends to be associated with more of an unsettled feeling. Yes, I know anxious is an adjective and anxiety a noun. :heehee:

[NylonMan]

That's a good question Tracii. If I knew the answer, I would be much happier. Anxiety affects everyone differently. With me, I worry about everything, always thinking, I go through periods where I can't concentrate, everything bothers me. Dressing sends this calm through me, and I forget about all my worries, it just relaxes me and helps me think straight.

There is nothing specific that I can put my finger on. I question everything, and worry about everything. But I think it's just who I am. I have often wondered if all CD's are like me.

[Rachael Leigh]

I'm finding this to be true for me as well as reliving my stress, especially right now as my wife and I begin our trial seperation.
Dressing just makes me relax and feel better

[Gillian Gigs]

I can have an eager desire to get dressed, but other than that I don't get anxious. Like many others I find dressing up can be a very real stress reliever, it's like all my cares just slip away. The problem in the past was that at some point I have would have to change back, but Wooh whoo, I'm retired now and can stay dressed all day if I choose.

[JeanTG]

Not being able to dress is at the heart of my anxiety. Dressing relieves it. But it also helps when anxiety has other sources.

[taruhhhh]

id say thats probably because dressing gets your mind off of the things that make you anxious, i feel relief and like to relax when dressing too but i dont have much anxiety in my day to day life, sometimes frustration, but not anxiety. i recommend finding someone to talk to about the things that are making you anxious in the first place. :)

[Micki_Finn]

I don't know that there's a DIRECT link. My best guess is that cross dressing is a self-soothing activity that helps alleviate undifferentiated anxiety. Some people suck their thumb, some people drink, some people crossdress. Just all different coping mechanisms.

And to those saying "get to the cause of your anxiety", often with a an anxiety disorder there isn't really a trigger, cause, or root of the issue. It can come on for no reason with a general feeling of "something is wrong" or "something bad is about to happen".

[Tracii G]

Ok Micki I get what you are saying so it can be a combination of many factors.

All I know is I can't change whats going to happen in the world or what is going to happen to me thru out the day so I don't worry about it.
Worrying about it isn't going to change anything.
All I can do is deal with problems and issues as they come. Deal with them one at a time until they are all gone.

[CherylFlint]

Every time.
Each time feels as good as the first, because my constant adjustments are paying off in my satisfaction level.
I dress in order to relax and it works.

[Jaylyn]

I do know that dressing cures my stress. I feel way more relaxed when dressed and I suppose the anxiety is relaxed some also.

[Robertacd]

Sure but isn't it natural to seek comfort when you feel stressed?

Nothing more than human nature at work here, some people eat, smoke, or drink when they are anxious, thinking about that dressing is certainly a lot more healthy way to cope.

[GretchenM]

When the DSM 5 was being prepared a well known gender therapist suggested Gender Expression Deprivation Disorder because so many of her clients were relieved of the pink fog when they were able to freely express who they sense that they are. But the committee decided on Gender Dysphoria instead. Clearly, if the desire to dress is a natural urge, then when that is blocked frustration and all those other emotions will pop up. I feel there is a lot of that in me and explains why deprivation can be very stressful and deprivation is common due to a DADT arrangement.

But what about other stressors? That is a good question. I think if the stressor has some kind of relationship to gender identity then the desire to become Her can be very strong. But if the stressor is not gender related that often does not happen unless it continues for a long time. Then becoming Her acts as a relief valve that is incredibly calming and sort of like pushing a reset button.

What does it mean? Beats me, but maybe for some of us dressing is, at least in part, an effort to become someone other than the person we usually are. A way to get far away from the person, for some reason and some way, we really don't care for very much. I was born male; never really cared much for it and wanted to be a girl very early in life. Not only did being a boy not feel quite right, but maybe there was a general dislike of being male. But why? Never figured out that one. But from a practical point of view, if dressing is a kind of tranquilizer during times of stress, there is nothing wrong with that. Stress is a killer. If not dressing is stressful then dress. Again, stress is a killer. Save your life and put on a dress.

[Stacy Darling]

I medically do suffer from Anxiety and I'm not ashamed to say so. I'm medicated to reduce the symptoms, but dressing and prettying myself up does make life a rosier place for me!

Stacy

[CarlaWestin]

I'm glad that the difference between anxious and anxiety have been explained. At one time in my life I truly suffered from clinical anxiety. I once described an anxiety attack as being drowning in a pool of liquid fear. It was debilitating and generally didn't need any kind of trigger. Fortunately, that was the past. On the other hand, I have anxiously waited for my next opportunity to dress up. You know, that's whenever I have to be in drabville.

[Aunt Kelly]

Oh, gawd yes. Stress will often increase my need to dress. Not always, but certainly more often than not. And it's not the short term kind of stress that does it, but the things that last for days or weeks. A big project at work, for example. I long ago stopped trying to figure it out and just go with what works now. :)

[Ariana225]

It's definitely a stress reliever for me. I've never been diagnosed with anxiety so I can't say 100% that I have it. I have panic attacks sometimes caused by stressful situations. But as others have already said, you put on a dress and that goes away. You become a different person free from the "other" persons troubles. Instead of thinking about work, bills, to do lists, etc. you think about what color you want to paint your nails today. Even if some don't experience the total bliss of relieving the anxiety/stress it sounds like a lot on this forum do. I think it's completely healthy and a good thing! Keep doing you! 😘

[michelleddg]

It used to be a big stress reliever for me, a chance for escape. However, in more recent times my dressing conforms to opportunity (i.e., when my wife is away) than to need. So, I gotta hope I'm feeling nice and pink when my opportunities arise (which isn't always the case). Hugs, Michelle

[jacques]

hello,
crossdressing drives the stress away,
luv J

[sometimes_miss]

I think that a lot of us have a subconscious desire to crossdress; we're able to keep it repressed most of the time, but when under stress, the underlying desire to crossdress comes out front and center, and we have to deal with it. The act of crossdressing eliminates that one stressor, at least for the time being. It also pushes other uncomfortable thoughts out of our consciousness, temporarily relieving us from those things that stress us out. Over time, we can recover from that exhaustive feeling of stress, and become able to hold it all back inside of us once again. Wash, rinse, repeat. It all depends upon how much stress we have to deal with in the other things in our lives.
JMHO.

[Barbara Jo]

Personally, I do not/ never had felt " anxiety'" over my CDing.
If anything I always have a felling of frustration of not being able to dress / present 100% as a female in public.

As far as stress....
I am now 69 years old and I now underdress 24/ 7 with panties and a bra. .
However, I have always tended to dress completely more when I'm totally stress free. :)

[NylonMan]

Thanks Everyone, I have been on vacation for 2 weeks and have not until now had a chance to see the responses. It appears that there are a wide range of triggers to why people dress as little or as often as they do. For me anxiety is a definite trigger, as well as seeing a nicely dressed lady.

[Tracy329]

I don't know that I feel anxiety over it. It's more just a longing or yearning and once I can dress, I feel much happier.

[ginapoodle]

When I was working, particularly in a high stress situation, or very difficult people I often under dressed. Helped immensely, no doubt. Every trip to North Africa, except in summer heat, I wore nylons under male drabs.

[Pat]

The more Anxious I feel, the more I want to dress.

Did you ever think you might have the causal relationship backwards? Maybe NOT dressing is what's making you anxious. It's a need that you ignore until the stress builds up to an intolerable level and then you dress and "relieve" it? It gets worse if you have other stressors in your life filling up the "stress cup" until you dress and relieve the pressure. I have no science to back that up, it's just opinion. ;)

[Tracy Irving]

I don't think I suffer from anxiety. I just dress when I feel like it. There is no rhyme or reason to it.

[Alice B]

For me the urge to dress creates my anxiety. Anexity on it's own is not related and can be for other, unrelated items such as an upcoming trip.

[JenniferZ]

I don't feel I have anxiety but I do get stressed (anxious) once and awhile - work etc. and I find crossdressing is one thing that helps me feel relaxed. It isn't the only thing but when I dress I feel good and relaxed.

Jennifer

[Mickitv]

I have been told that because of anxiety and stress I dress. I guess that could be true as I look back on things. However, I have learned over the years to accept my dressing and feminism and just enjoy it.

[Nora TBD]

The notion of men daydreaming of being women as a form of escape/stress relief from the burdens of male life has a quaint 1950's ring to it. That said, I can see a bit of this in myself. If my cross dressing was a stew of 100 ingredients, perhaps this might be one ingredient. And to the degree that it's true at all, it's only true of my cross dressing day dreams rather than when I venture out into the world dressed. Because for me, girlfriend, when I walk out of the house dressed, my anxiety is through.the.roof, and I am one lady who is facing her fears. I have social anxiety even when presenting as male. When I present as female, I am hyper alert during any social interaction, even limited ones, such as a fast food drive through.

[Alice Torn]

I have anxiety all my life, and i have it when i am dressed, too, fear of being caught, or outed.

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Nora, same here! i have social anxieity as a guy, or dressed as the gal. As the gal, it shoots sky high, and i also am simply facing my fear, and doing it, even though i am scared.

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Nylon man. Great legs!! You and i are very similar!! Always thinking, can't sleep well, or turn the brain off, hyper vigilant all the time, especially when dressed out of the closet. It runs in my sick family. Hyper sensitive, also. there is a book, called, "The Empath's Survival Guide." For supersensitive people.

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Leigh, i am sorry to hear you and the wife are separating for a tril, but this may be good for both, of you. I have not met a woman yet, who is friendly toward me dressing up. Hopefully, it will bring both of you closer in the end, at least good friends.

[suit]

this forum needs to be able to put "thumbs up" when we agree with someone's post
:iagree:

[Sarah Doepner]

I've started to believe that when we dress we are essentially "self-medicating" for gender dysphoria and the anxiety it brings. Some take drug therapy and for others fashion seems to help. However, the more deeply seated and extensive the dysphoria is, the more time, energy and detail we prescribe for ourselves. For many of us that time en femme seems to work, for some it means getting out of the house while dressed. For others even that it isn't enough to overcome a body dysphoria and at that point we see the addition of hormones, electrolysis, surgeries and other more intense body changes before anxiety finally is controlled.

That dressing can relieve anxiety says one has created a "safe space" in their life where the process of getting dressed and feeling the control it brings relief. It's where dressing and all it brings becomes a reminder or a reassurance that a solution can be found for whatever is creating the anxiety. Of course, if that person is in the closet there will be the anxiety associated with being discovered and that has a solution as well. Some of us just never follow those paths to their conclusion, I know I'm still working on it.

[Janine cd]

Dressing is a source of anxiety whenever a long period of time elapses without the opportunity to display my feminine self.

[prettytoes]

I have had a lot of stress in my life recently, both in my business and personal lives. I deal with it in many ways, but I have found that my desire to dress is much stronger. I push the limits a little more (I'm only out to my wife and a good friend), like letting a sports bra peek out from under my shirt on my early morning bike ride, pink socks peeking out from my sneakers, and stepping out in capris once in a while (always on my bike ride). I also find my spending goes up on my "other" wardrobe. I now know what women mean when they say "retail therapy".

[Jaymees22]

Don't stress, just dress. It works for me as a coping skill and others apparently.

[T Gram]

My hubby says dressing up helps relieve his stress. The more stress he's under, usually work related...the more he wants to dress. Maybe it does take his mind someplace else?? Gets him thinking of something else?? Or distracts him for all the craziness that's going on? I know he's been more calm and caring and we've been communicating better since he's been (out) to me and accepting of his dressing than he's been in a long time.

[GinaSkirt]

For me it isn't just the feel of the clothes, heels, hose and how I look that I love and change. In male mode we are taught men don't cry or show their feelings, many comedies have been made from this. We're to have steel shells and keep it all bottled up. Is it a wonder men die sooner and have more nervous breakdowns? Although I have read with women's numbers increasing in the work force and senior management they are becoming more like this and catching up.
When dressed more of my natural personality comes out. I am more caring, gentle, kind, can freely express my feelings and be more who I am without the worry of being seen as weak. I get to talk about how pretty things are or how I like the soft feel of velvet and silky nylons. I get to enjoy things in life we would be laughed at for enjoying in male mode. I can talk about how I like a woman's makeup or clothes without being accused of wanting to jump her bones.

It's the freedom I enjoy of just being me.

That's my definition of stress anxiety relief.

[MsKim2888]

Its so true that dressing does relieved stress and anxiety. Well it does for me as well. I noticed that the more stressed my life is, the stronger my urge to dress. When dressed, for a moment I felt like a giant boulder had been lifted off my shoulder, everything seems going to be alright. It might be a kind of escapism. Anxiety from dressing or work stress or personal problem stress? I don't care because I felt a lot better afterward after dressing. If dressing can relieve my stress (whatever the cause is), so be it.

[Leslie Mary S]

Yes, when the stresses build up, I too tend to go to my closet and get totally done up. Then I take photos in the living-room that doubles as my studio, (Backgrounds, and Strobe lights. [Only set up the strobes when really stressed]). And if I am lucky, I can stay that way from a few evening hours to several days.

My live-in GG friend comes and goes to her work, does some shopping, goes to see her daughters, etc.
When she was without a car, I would occasionally pick her up from work fully dressed, never partly dressed, I am either the male of female me, never a mixture.
I am finding that I am even starting to do art work as me, not he. (haven't noticed any change of painting style.)

Tonight I will be sleeping as Leslie Mary.

[Bobbi46]

Maybe its because I live on my own and being retired but last week was one of nearly all week in drab because heavy work round my house, as was the last two days but now the opportunity returned to dress, was getting anxious or stressed at not being able to dress? no because at the back of my mind was the thought that when all the work was finished it would be Bobbi time again for however long I wish it to be.
I think anxiety is linked to stress and if one is working and stressed then anxiety will creep in, I can understand it but surely it is down to inner feelings and look towards those times of dressing with pleasure and contentment.

[Lacy PJs]

It's been quite some time since I've really felt "anxious" about something of any importance but I will say that when I'm dressed, I'm typically more relaxed. But, no, there doesn't seem to be any stress that brings on the urge to dress...

Lacy PJs

[Dana44]

I never had anxiety, But stress yes. And dressing seems to help a lot dropping stress. My SO gets anxiety sometimes and wow she tells me and it seems that she does not have a reason for it. But she says it is real and we try to deal with it. Me, I always am pretty stable. Dressing totally reduces stress.

[Fiona123]

I have stress, anxiety and depression from being closeted.