Are you a Miad?

[GeorgeA]

Are you a MIAD?

For most of my life I struggled with defining what I am.

In early days it was referred to as “transvestism”; then a “cross-dresser” became a more common definition.

So it became that I joined a “Crossdressers Forum. While I am happy here, somehow, subconsciously, I feel that I am not really one of the majority here.
While I dress in what is commonly perceived as “women clothes” I do not really fit here.

Majority of people here seem to want to look like a woman and be perceived as such by outsiders.
I do not. I have no desire to be feminine or imitate a woman.

I am a man and behave and act as a man. No, I am not burly, macho guy but a “gentle” man.

I just like to wear lingerie, nylons, dresses and skirts. I have not the slightest interest in wearing a bra (nothing to put there), no wigs, make-up, jewellery, women’s shoes.
I hate trousers and like to exchange them for a skirt as soon as I can. I have facial hair.

One definition that is commonly used for people like me is “Man-In-A-Dress” (MIAD), (I pronounce it "mee-ad") and therefore I propose to use it to distinguish us from “true” crossdressers.
I would like to hear from other Miads as well as from others.

[CarlaWestin]

In a word, nope!

[Judy-Somthing]

Wow that so cool, I myself don't enjoying dressing up unless it's fully, wig, makeup, foundation garment for shape with hip pads and forms, stockings, and the thing I love the most , the DRESS.

[Maria Blackwood]

Kind of? My crossdressing is private and clothing only (if breastforms count as clothing), but i hate being male. Completely (bleeping) hate it. Looking back, I see now the whole concept of being male never clicked with me.

I just don't see the point (for me and me alone) of pushing it past clothing or going public because, well, I don't really have a because. The desire isn't there. I'd like to go somewhere and be taught the makeup side, but I never get around to it. I'm babbling. Ignore me. I'm a female inside a male who dreams of being a pirate queen. What's up with that?

So i deal with it best i can, find solace in dressing, and hope we get more lives after this one where my soul will find a better vessel.

[GeorgeA]

Judy,
You are just proving my point. I am different than a majority here, while you seem to be a part of it. Which is fine with me. I've been a member since 2009 and have encountered such a variety of types, but only a handful that are like me. I have absolutely no problem with "true crossdressers". I have attended a few meetings of local CDs and they readily accepted me "a miad" as their own, and vice versa.
I think, CDs, being marginalised by society, as it is, are more open in welcoming others which may be different from them.

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Carla,
I am not a bit surprised by your answer. I have been following you for many years, and often thought how different we are, yet somehow similar, too.

[nvlady]

I'm a man. I was born a man. I will always be a man, but I guess I can also be a miad.

[prene]

WOW

I love dressing ... all the way.

Kind glad I have attachable forms so if I wearing a bra (I have something to put there)

[docrobbysherry]

Salerba, there r way more like u than u think. I personally have met T's that wore facial hair, had a man's hair cut but wouldn't wear a wig or makeup, and some will not do anything to modify their male figures.

I personally identify with your MIAD definition. Not because I only partially dress, (I dress for ME alone and want to see a woman in my mirror), but because I don't have a female side, period.:straightface:

[OCCarly]

Sorry, no. After a year on hormones I am having trouble passing for male sometimes. When I wear a suit and tie to work, it's a drag performance.

[Viggy]

Think I am with salerba, I'm a MIAD, but with the difference that I also like women's shoes, most of them make feet more beautiful then men's. I wear no wig, no bra (no jugs, no bra) and no makeup.

[Lacey New]

Yes, I think I am a MIAD. While I love to dress up, I do not have forms, a wig or shoes and have only secretly experimented wit my wife's makeup and jewelry. I have never appeared in public en femme unless you count being underdressed. While I would love to go to a transformation studio sometime to see if I really could appear feminine, at this time, I would still just consider myself a man in a dress. But still a cross dresser nonetheless.

[Aunt Kelly]

Salerba,
While it's true that you are "not one of the majority" here, this is an eclectic community to begin with, so from that perspective you fit right in. :) Each of us here is an individual, different in some way from mainstream gender conventions, and different from all the others here. You don't have to conform to belong. Belonging to this community is more about recognizing differences and celebrating them, or at least accepting them. I totally do not get the MIAD thing, but I don't have to in order to welcome you and validate your choices. You are doing what feels right for you, what makes you smile, and that should make anyone smile.

Hugs,


Kelly

[krissysSecret]

Salerba,
While it's true that you are "not one of the majority" here, this is an eclectic community to begin with, so from that perspective you fit right in. :) Each of us here is an individual, different in some way from mainstream gender conventions, and different from all the others here. You don't have to conform to belong. Belonging to this community is more about recognizing differences and celebrating them, or at least accepting them. I totally do not get the MIAD thing, but I don't have to in order to welcome you and validate your choices. You are doing what feels right for you, what makes you smile, and that should make anyone smile.

Hugs,


Kelly
I completely agree with this ...Aunt Kelly is spot on of her assessment of the people of this forum...it takes a village and we all are the village..everyone of us!

[susan54]

Those of us who insist we think of ourselves as male at all times seem to be in a very small minority here. To mevit is about the clothes and the ability to look good in them. That NEVER involves trousers and I am mystified by those who aspire towards wearing women's jeans when the world is full of dresses and skirts. I do wear a bra and forms but only wear makeup and wig to go out in public. I then try to act like a woman but it IS acting. I don't care if people realise I am male as long as they think my outfit aces it. So I am a bit more than just a man in a dress but I am absolutely never, even in my imagination, a woman in a dress.

[Aemilie]

Hi Salerba

At this point in my crossdressing journey I think what you describe is exactly what I am, ie a "MIAD", and while I have no desire to wear a bra or breastforms, or to go out "dressed" as this is a very private thing between me & my wife, and while all of the people who know me wouldn't describe me as the slightest bit effeminate, quite obviously I am hence my desire to wear womens clothes and become Millie, I think at some point in the future that could change, I've looked at wigs online and am quite tempted by makeup so who knows what'll happen, but yes at the moment the term MIAD describes me perfectly so thanks for putting how I feel into words.

[DIANEF]

So you're a MIAD and don't think you fit in here?, well you do!!. Every ones level of cross dressing is different, personally I am an all or nothing dresser, no under dressing but all out femme when I do do it. Whatever you are comfortable with is your level, there is no set standard anyone has to reach, and there are several others on here with facial hair and they fit in. 'Vive la differance', as the Frenchies (or French Canadians.....) say!!

[Fiona123]

Transgender here. Not MIAD, not crossdresser. But it is a big tent here. If that label is meaningful to you go for it.

[Stacy Darling]

Can't say who or what I am Salerba, and we are all different! I'm probably more of a Maid, but hey! we are all different.

We can all get along!
Stacy

[Tracii G]

You belong here as much as anyone else.
We are all different and thats what this site is all about.

[Jaylyn]

I have been in both camps and depends on my attitude on any given particular day. I enjoy wearing my panties all the time. Under my work clothes or under my Sunday suit. I also enjoy my dresses sometimes when I'm tired and usually slip on a blouse of some sort. I don't always have time to fully dress in bra and the makeup takes a long time, but I still am attracted to certain looks especially the darker red lipsticks. If I have a longer period to dress I can still enjoy the whole outfit including heels and makeup. So my question can we be a Miad and a CD? I enjoy both.

[phili]

Welcome, Salerba! I am obviously a MIAD, and I am very happy to see the outpouring of friendly inclusion to your post! Technically, and in the simplest common definition for man, we all are MIADs until we aren't male any more, but saying so would elicit fierce objections since we many of us, me included, are experiencing challenges around what the definition of 'man' or 'woman' is. MIAD is where we all start, and the path to our best sense of how to live in the world branches out widely from there. And this forum is where we all start, as MIADs, and try to find other labels that amplify or clarify, and try to avoid labels, and help each other along the way.

I am very happy to say I am a MIAD, and also a mirl, which is to say a male girl. But that's still very general and open to confusion, but it works for me really well as a way to describe my own sense of gender combination.

[Pat]

Phew -- I was cruising down the replies and was thinking, "How can Phili not have responded to this?" :eek: I was so glad to find their response at the end of the chain (well, before I stuck my oar in.)

MIAD seems like a perfectly fine identity and clearly belongs here. I'm not one, but I know they exist and I value you being here as we all need exposure to the answers others have uncovered about themselves so we can find our way to our own paths. There was a time I'd have signed up for MIAD but it wasn't a final state for me. Welcome to the forum. Be brave in stating your truth, be flexible in letting it change if it needs to or be stalwart in telling it if it doesn't change.

[Jane G]

Just happy being me. As it seems we must use labels these days. I'd not call myself a MIAN, though obviously I am, LoL

[Lana Mae]

I am not a MIAD but that does not mean I do not support your right to be! I am a male in 75% female clothes every day(underdress/stealth). When I go out as a female it is all or nothing! I have not had facial hair for over 30 years! (Being clean shaven does not make you less of a man!) The strength of this forum is the diversity it has! We all share being crossdressers in one form or another or at least started out that way! You have the right to be you and that can stay the same or change daily! Enjoy the journey and best wishes!! Hugs Lana Mae

[AlanaG]

Since I've only been out fully cross dressed once (with full makeup, bra and wig), I am definitely a MIAD. I very often dress in a skirt and either a feminine top or a regular guys shirt. Sometimes I add pantyhose and heels. I belong to another forum that is for MIAD and others who like to wear skirts. http://www.skirtcafe.org

[Gillian Gigs]

Yea. that about sums it up for me. I do enjoy wearing a good bra, but I have a little something to put in it though. I like some shoes too.

To me there is nothing better than lingerie, nylons, and a skirt to get comfortable in.

Yes , you fit here, there are lots here just like you, and me!

[GeorgeA]

Thanks to all who responded.
I would like to clarify a few points: To those that said "welcome", thank you, but I've been here since 2009 and have more than 500 post. Hardly "a newbie".
To those that think that I'm not comfortable here, you're wrong. I am very much at home here with such a wide spectrum of identities & personalities.
What I said is that I am in a minority here, as most, at least those very active seem to be "women impersonators", and I am not.
I am going to post more soon.

[Dana44]

Oh boy I left that a while ago. I am pretty feminine. Therefore I don't think I am MAID.

[Stephanie Voorhees]

I am, but not by choice. If I could take it farther, I would, but unfortunately I don't have the means to do so.

[GeorgeA]

Docrobbysherry,

I know you are one of us. I have followed you for a long time, and we exchanged messages way back. But you also are an actor who plays so many roles and does it so well, I may say. It's hard to think of you as anything but a glamourous Hollywood girl.
Cheers,
















i

[NancySue]

Nope. With the exception of always being underdressed, it's always 100%.

[jacques]

hello Salerba,
I am a bearded man in a dress. If I ever look in the mirror that is the reality I see.
My sex is male, my sexuality is hetero, my gender is perhaps more feminine than masculine.
I am learning to live with it. Everyone is different yet there is also something that unites us.
luv J

[redtea]

I'm kind of like you salerba, I don't at the moment want to become a woman, I just want to get high on the humiliation CDing brings me.

I did try a wig and makeup but it's not as appealing as just wearing some panties and short shorts and a soft shirt.

[Teresa]

Salerba,
No I'm somewhere on the transition road so the man in a dress is not for me , I do it at home simple because of my DADT situation because t putting make up on and taking it off in a short time is just a waste of time, but otherwise from the neck down it's all dressed with forms .

This is a Cders forum and you still fit in, the term only refers to wearing the clothes of the opposite sex and not becoming women , many of us should be using other sections of the forum because we do want more , we are possibly the odd ones out in this section .

[GeorgeA]

Hello Teresa,

I'm so glad that you replied. You are one of my favourites here and I'm always looking forward to your posts.

The reason I made the original post is so people will know my bias when I reply to their messages. My attitude to some issues discussed might be different than a regular CD.
I am very comfortable here and enjoy most of the discussions.

Whether we are regular CDs, Miads, or Transitioning people we can relate to one another's problems better than those in the outside world could.

Being strictly male I do not suffer "pink fog" and have to "dress" once in a while. I am dressed all the time, except when I travel from home to my shop, I change my skirt for trousers and reverse when there.

I found it very strange some time ago, when someone discussing my post referred to me as "she" or "her", I most certainly am a "he" or "him". No offence intended to those that prefer it the other way.

I am glad that I received mostly positive replies.

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Traci G

Thank you, and I must say I like your recent avatar better than the previous one. Very becoming.

[sometimes_miss]

To the outside world, I'm a man in a dress. There's absolutely no mistaking what I am, as there's no way I could ever pass. But I need to wear these things in order to feel normal, at peace in my own skin, so to speak. I don't ask anyone else to call me a female name, I don't try to speak in a female pitch or manner, I don't try to change the way I walk or the way I move. I just wish that no one will bother me when I dress the way I do. I don't bother anyone else, and don't want them to bother me. Unfortunately, far too many people in the world, feel they have the right to tell me how I should look.

[GeorgeA]

Alana G

Thanks for reminding me of SkirtCafe. I have not gone there for a while and must re-visit it soon. Good place.

[grace7777]

Absolutely not, I am transitioning from male to female.

[GeorgeA]

To the outside world, I'm a man in a dress. There's absolutely no mistaking what I am, as there's no way I could ever pass. But I need to wear these things in order to feel normal, at peace in my own skin, so to speak. I don't ask anyone else to call me a female name, I don't try to speak in a female pitch or manner, I don't try to change the way I walk or the way I move. I just wish that no one will bother me when I dress the way I do. I don't bother anyone else, and don't want them to bother me. Unfortunately, far too many people in the world, feel they have the right to tell me how I should look.

Well said, Lexi, I think we both feel it the same way.

I'm trying to be more brazen and lately been having my lunch om my front porch. Once a mailman walked and handed me my mail and then he looked down on my nyloned legs but didn't say anything.

[Brandy Mathews]

Nope.
I agree with the other gurls. Love the forms, the bras, the corset, dresses, hose, panties, all that, love the feminine part of all of it!
Brandy;)

[Lacy PJs]

Hmmm... I believe that crossdressing is on a continuum; some are happy with just wearing panties while others go the whole nine yards. Some are certainly men who like the feel of women's clothing and others are women trapped in a man's body. We all fit in to that broad range somewhere. For me, some things just seem like they are needed to go along with what one chooses to wear. A wig is a good example of what I'm trying to say... a nice skirt, blouse, nylons & heels outfit just doesn't "look" right with a bald head on top! :)

For what it's worth though, I believe there is a difference between those who simply like the clothing vs. those who dress and act womanly in every facet of their life. Totally different motivation but similar end results.

Lacy PJs

[GeorgeA]

For what it's worth though, I believe there is a difference between those who simply like the clothing vs. those who dress and act womanly in every facet of their life. Totally different motivation but similar end results.

Lacy PJs
That's exactly why I started this thread. Miads like the clothing but not behaviour of women.

[CynthiaD]

I've done the MIAD thing a couple of times when people have knocked on the door unexpectedly. But I want to be perceived as a woman.

[dynastycarol]

Calling some one a " male in a dress" is offensive in the TS/TG/DQ/show girl/pageant girl community.

Even calling somebody a TV unless that's there style I.e. non shaven body.
A gender+(expletive) is a TG who has a beard,mustache, sideburns...

Lgbt civil rights workers work very hard to get the identities they want that are positive.

Listen to Janet Mock interviews with Pierce Morgan to get an example. Its on youtube.
Gay males sometimes slur TG's with that one liner.they also refer to a TG not passable as a Brick.

If you want to discuss terms join a LGBT community so you don't splinter into different factions the movement

[Becky Blue]

Definitely not a MIAD... does not fit me at all

[Lucy23]

hello Salerba,

well, according to that definition, I too am a MIAD; a man, I act and behave like one and really like it that way. I maintain beard or at least stubble, and have many interests you could traditionally call manly. I may be one of the few here who likes men's fashion and shopping for it.

I have no female persona, any interest in makeup, wigs or forms whatsoever, and don't want to be called or perceived as a woman. Nor do I try to make of fun of women.

I like the clothing - dresses, skirts, pantyhose, shoes, etc.; wearing women's clothes just feels, for lack of a better word, good, natural, as it should be. With that said, however, for some reason I love wearing bras, although with smallest cups possible that give little to no curves in that area.

Like sometimes_miss said, I just wish no one would bother me or think worse of me for wanting to wear women's clothes. I know of some people whose respect for me would be completely lost to me once I came out to them.

[Pat]

Calling some one a " male in a dress" is offensive in the TS/TG/DQ/show girl/pageant girl community. [etc.]


I too love good, uniform use of terminology as an aid to understanding ourselves and to explain ourselves to the outside world. But this site is a "safe space" for people to come to terms with who they are and to discover others like themselves. MIAD is resonating with some of the members here and it seems fair to let them explore that and even take the term back from the haters if that's what works for them (the same way "queer" is being reclaimed by parts of the community.)

[Ressie]

Sometimes at home I wear a few fem garments without going further. Got rid of facial hair for good about 13 years ago. I don't go out dressed unless it's all the way.


Calling some one a " male in a dress" is offensive in the TS/TG/DQ/show girl/pageant girl community.


It's not offensive to someone that identifies as a MIAD. If I do everything possible to pass I wouldn't want to be called that, but to each there own. And do TVs have to go without shaving their bodies? Sounds like stereotyping to think that the word transvestite means that.

[Krea]

Hi Salerba,
Your thread has interested me because i have been wondering about the subject since i joined this forum.
Your choice is very similar to mine and so i could be called miad by someone trying to "categorise".
I do not go out dressed, but if i did i would not be trying to pass. I have no interest in wigs (unlike my avatar cartoon i have very short hair!) or makeup, but i really enjoy the way i look and feel in feminine clothes, so certainly consider myself a crossdresser.
Although this probably makes me different to the majority of members, since i have joined this community i have felt very welcome here. Thank-you :hugs:

[Confucius]

I've always referred to myself as a "man in a dress" as well as a "crossdresser". I don't think I've ever seen myself as a woman, and I don't want to use a feminine name or feminine pronouns to describe myself. Nonetheless, I do love all things feminine. The idea of actually passing as a woman would be nice, but I don't see it as practical.

I see crossdressing as a wide spectrum. I admire those who do pass as a woman, and I would like to see more crossdressers out in public. However it probably isn't for me.

[AlanaG]

. Miads like the clothing but not behavior of women.

I disagree! At least some do, including me.

[Jennifer W]

Technically I am a MIAD. However I haven't worn a dress in years. I wear mostly leggings and associated "comfy clothes" like tank tops and tees. Fem jeans and shorts, panties (the only underwear I own) sports bras, padded bras (no forms) I shave my body except for my goatee. I get my nails done on a regular schedule. I identify as male. I just enjoy the clothes that I choose to wear. Am I a CD? Sure. But mostly I'm me.

[phili]

One of the unspoken things that complicates the discussion is what we mean by the 'man' part of MIAD. I am now a confirmed happy MIAD, because I define man as a broad category- anyone either male anatomically or generally masculine. I think what drives the desire of many of us to want to leave the 'man' part behind is that we feel we want to be free of all the associations with manhood- the rules, expectations, outmoded or negative traits that are allowed for and indulged in by men, etc.

I resolve all this by saying I am a mirl, a male and a man who is also girly frequently. Each of us who likes MIAD basically is ok with being a man and then reaching out to enjoy all that dresses mean to us. We can see that we are men, and yet we want to wear a dress. I found 5 different reasons for me, and each exists without the other, though they interact somewhat.

-sensual: the rustling of the dress hem , the slithering of the bodice lining, etc
-sexual: I love to feel desirable and to emphasize my waist and hips, with clothes signaling my receptivity
-fashion: I love the range of colors and patterns and to be a walking painting
-permission to feel and behave like a woman is allowed to- in nonsexual ways: this is harder to explain, but I can feel it all through my body- more relaxed, energy flows differently, lighter, more aware of all sorts of things
-political: having been bedeviled by being in the closet, I want to blow off the closet doors for everyone and get this whole unnecessary painful constraint over with- worldwide!!! Ok.. just saying

[Pat]

-permission to feel and behave like a woman is allowed to- in nonsexual ways: this is harder to explain, but I can feel it all through my body- more relaxed, energy flows differently, lighter, more aware of all sorts of things

That's a key for me. All my life I was inclined to laugh louder, cry easier, hug strangers, ask the silly questions, etc. There was no actual reason why I couldn't do those things. I know more enlightened men than myself who can do those things but when I was play-acting a cisgender male I didn't allow myself those things because I was concerned they'd "blow my cover." Now my cover is gone and I can actually let those natural impulses flow -- as they say in the trade, I can be my "authentic self." That's a huge payout -- that's probably the most motivating of all the factors that flushed me out of the closet. (Of course, now I have to learn how to be that person I never allowed myself to be all those years. )

[Cheryl T]

Not Me !!

[Sallee]

I am with you Judy Its either all or nothing and I want to be mistaken for a woman.

[BrendaPDX]

Minority, different, categorized, unusual, offbeat, odd, peculiar… Society seems to want to categorize everything to make better sense of it in their minds. Sooner or later we all stand out. For better or worse I am who I am, and find good supportive people/friends here. Take care, Brenda

[Gillian Gigs]

The whole thought of a man wanting to wear a dress is something that can be difficult for some to understand. I can only imagine what it was like for the women of the early 20th century seeking emancipation from the restraints that had been placed on them "forever". Today women in the world are still struggling to get this emancipation that some women now have. Men need emancipation also. True freedom is being able to be who you want to be, but with freedom comes responsibility. We all should be able to dress comfortably as we choose without ridicule, yet remember that there are times and places that some attire may not be appropriate. If you want to dress like a hooker remember that Walmart might not be the place to do it. This sound like common sense, but it's amazing what can be seen in Walmart from both men and women!

Phili, I liked a couple of things you said;
-sensual: the rustling of the dress hem , the slithering of the bodice lining, etc
-fashion: I love the range of colors and patterns and to be a walking painting
-permission to feel and behave like a woman is allowed to- in nonsexual ways: this is harder to explain, but I can feel it all through my body- more relaxed, energy flows differently, lighter, more aware of all sorts of things
(I really get this, to me it's like my senses being more aware, aroused, fine tuned with what is going on around me)

To let yourself go free with how you are feeling at a particular moment, whether it be filling up your senses, or enjoying the fashions that many of us want the total freedom to enjoy. Stop and smell the roses, feel the wind on your skirt and legs. Men rely too much on there sight, they need to be emancipated also, it's just that they don't know it.

[Paula2]

Definitely not a MIAD!
When I dress I want to feel and be perceived as a woman. When society sees you as female we are allowed the freedom of expression I crave..

[Lucy23]

Phili,

let me elaborate a little on this and maybe add something:


I think what drives the desire of many of us to want to leave the 'man' part behind is that we feel we want to be free of all the associations with manhood- the rules, expectations, outmoded or negative traits that are allowed for and indulged in by men, etc.


On my part, I don't want to leave the "man" part behind. As I said before in this thread, I like being a man. I'm fine with providing, protecting, I can do things around the house.

Rather, I would love for all those expectations, rules, obligations etc. not be a part of what it takes to be a man. Many times it feels like you have such a narrow line to walk. Deviate just a little and it's guaranteed that there would always be someone to take you back to the fold. It feels like "you can't be this, this and that, that and those two things there, and oh, forget about this too...

I am sure that I can do everything that the society expects of me as a man, and have demonstrated it many times. Yet why, in light of everything, it it taken away by my wearing women's clothes? Many a female friend told me that she would loose respect for me if I wore a skirt.

I'm with Gilian on that men need emancipation too, it's just many don't know it or realize it.

[Tracy Irving]

Funny this topic should come up now. It has probably been six months since I last posted. I am in the process of writing a re-introduction that almost nobody will read. Somewhere below I have included an excerpt from it.

It is hard to determine the number of people who feel this way but I must take issue with their views regarding crossdressing. They feel that "looking like a man wearing a dress is degrading and insulting to crossdressers and hurts our cause to be accepted by the public. Help us by not doing it." I will not out the author, but the content is one of the reasons I stopped participating.

I don't know what makes you better than me. I don't know what makes your cause more important than mine. I never thought you were hurting my cause. Hell, I never knew I had a "cause". But, since you forced me to have one, my cause is to look like a man wearing a dress and be accepted by the public. When you pretend to be the opposite sex, I do not consider it degrading and insulting to me, a crossdresser, and I would never ask you to not do it. For some people here, the all inclusive crossdressing umbrella is very small.

This is pretty simple, a man wearing women's clothing is a crossdresser. Pretend I want to blend in while shopping at the mall. I put on a pair of women's shorts and t-shirt, full makeup and even a wig. I am blending in but could have looked almost the same in men's shorts and t-shirt, full makeup and a wig. That means crossdressing in public is all about wearing makeup and wigs? That makes no sense.

I guarantee I can blend in with the public better as a guy in women's clothing than a guy in women's clothing, makeup and a wig. I just won't be what you want me to be. But, I will be happy.

[AlanaG]

Funny this topic should come up now. It has probably been six months since I last posted. I am in the process of writing a re-introduction that almost nobody will read. Somewhere below I have included an excerpt from it.

It is hard to determine the number of people who feel this way but I must take issue with their views regarding crossdressing. They feel that "looking like a man wearing a dress is degrading and insulting to crossdressers and hurts our cause to be accepted by the public. Help us by not doing it." I will not out the author, but the content is one of the reasons I stopped participating.

I don't know what makes you better than me. I don't know what makes your cause more important than mine. I never thought you were hurting my cause. Hell, I never knew I had a "cause". But, since you forced me to have one, my cause is to look like a man wearing a dress and be accepted by the public. When you pretend to be the opposite sex, I do not consider it degrading and insulting to me, a crossdresser, and I would never ask you to not do it. For some people here, the all inclusive crossdressing umbrella is very small.

This is pretty simple, a man wearing women's clothing is a crossdresser. Pretend I want to blend in while shopping at the mall. I put on a pair of women's shorts and t-shirt, full makeup and even a wig. I am blending in but could have looked almost the same in men's shorts and t-shirt, full makeup and a wig. That means crossdressing in public is all about wearing makeup and wigs? That makes no sense.

I guarantee I can blend in with the public better as a guy in women's clothing than a guy in women's clothing, makeup and a wig. I just won't be what you want me to be. But, I will be happy.

Very well said!

[Krea]

Tracy, welcome back!
Your point is quite right. Those of us who are not fully "en-femme" / do not try to pass are still part of this community & it is a shame if a very small number think that we are somehow not real members simply because we do not fit their ideal.
Since i joined the forum i have not noticed any particular comments like this and have always felt welcome here, so hopefully this was an isolated example.
Ultimately, it doesn't matter what "category" we fit into. What is important is that we can be who we really are.

[GeorgeA]

Lucy23 wrote:
Many a female friend told me that she would loose respect for me if I wore a skirt.
Why lose respect? I don't lose respect of countless women wearing trousers, I don't like it but still respect them.

- - - Updated - - -

Very well said Tracy & Nic.

[Lucy23]

I wish I knew. Their reply was more along the lines of "Because..." and couldn't seem to muster up any logical explanation. That is not to say I would disrespect that they don't like it at all.

[GeorgeA]

A couple of weeks ago I was at a local variety shop when I saw a young fellow wearing a small black skirt and what I think were very colourful tights or leggings. He acted very natural and unconcerned.
Then two days later I saw him again skateboarding on the sidewalk near my shop, similarly dressed. Obviously a miad!
I wish we had more trailblazers like him!

[GeorgeA]

Since I posted this thread I have been reading many posts where someone expresses similar ideas. I usually suggest to them that they are really miads. I am also encouraged by the replies to this post both posititve and some not so, but still civil. We have a great community here.

[GeorgeA]

Tracy Irving wrote:
I guarantee I can blend in with the public better as a guy in women's clothing than a guy in women's clothing, makeup and a wig. I just won't be what you want me to be. But, I will be happy.

Very interesting observation, and I wish I had the nerve to do it.

[dynastycarol]

Transgender is the umbrella term for what everyone is that dresses like the opposite sex
,wears makeup, performers
, drag queens, gender ****s,panty boys, gender queer,sissies,Crossdressers, transvestites.......(Miads)

If you are non gender conforming you are a Transgender, that includes the invented term "miads". A skirt is not a dress and the kid is a Transvestite because he wears clothing only. He is under the Umbrella.

[JenniferMBlack]

Salerba I guess in a loose definition I am I prefer skirts to dresses, but more or less the same thing. For almost 2 months outside of work I wore nothing but skirts.

[dynastycarol]

Andronous makes who look better then many pretty women.

You see them modeling and performing sometimes as show girls.

If you get out like I do you will know about the many transgenders in different stages that look so real that most don't know.
We say they look fishy!
Girl she looks lovely like fish.



Tracy Irving wrote:
I guarantee I can blend in with the public better as a guy in women's clothing than a guy in women's clothing, makeup and a wig. I just won't be what you want me to be. But, I will be happy.

Very interesting observation, and I wish I had the nerve to do it.

[Teresa]

Phili,
What drives me is AGP , it's not so much wanting to shake of the male side as wanting to be seen and accepted as a woman. it's why MIAD doesn't work for me , OK the literal translation is to love yourself as a woman but there is more to it than that.

My integration is gradually happening which will finally be complete when I move into my new home. I know there will have to occasions when the appearance of a man has to return but it still won't be an in between state.

[XemmaX]

im ok with the crossdresser definition for myself but if 'miad' is more you than go do that.

[StarrOfDelite]

Transgender is the umbrella term for what everyone is that dresses like the opposite sex
,wears makeup, performers
, drag queens, gender ****s,panty boys, gender queer,sissies,Crossdressers, transvestites.......(Miads)

If you are non gender conforming you are a Transgender, that includes the invented term "miads". A skirt is not a dress and the kid is a Transvestite because he wears clothing only. He is under the Umbrella.

Thank you for posting the graphic. I was going to type something similar, but you and the visual aid said it better.

Just for the record, I am not a MIAD, but I have no problem whatsoever with the OP's description of his lifestyle. It's right for him, and that's what is important. It's a great big, wonderful world out there, and like the song says, "you gotta go where you wanna go, do what you wanna do, with whoever you wanna do it with."

[RADER]

This is the first time I have noticed your Post. AND you hit me right on....I must admit
that I am a "MIAD" and have a mustache also.
I never thought of what you call a MIAD, but it fits. I do not go out of the house dressed,
I do under dress all the time, and wear Fem Jeans. I wear a bra, because I fill our a "B"
cup very well.
Thanks for finding me, Now I know where I stand.
Rader

[Kayliedaskope]

"You are who you are, that's all right with me,
But I am who I am, that's all I can be."
-Trace Adkins, "Ladies Love Country Boys"

[GeorgeA]

Salerba I guess in a loose definition I am I prefer skirts to dresses, but more or less the same thing. For almost 2 months outside of work I wore nothing but skirts.

So do I, but let's not make any more splits. In my mind a "miad" is a person who crosdresses but does not emulate a woman. I spend all my days in skirts (my preference,too) but as a man. I can see why some would prefer adding or discarding certain items, but it does not affect being a miad.

It's the idea "dress as you like" and live your life the way you want.

People who try to look like women are actually actors playing a role. And it's great. I enjoy showbusiness as a spectator but not as a player.

- - - Updated - - -


Phili,
What drives me is AGP , it's not so much wanting to shake of the male side as wanting to be seen and accepted as a woman. it's why MIAD doesn't work for me

Teresa,

Your reasoning for not being a miad is exactly the opposite of my wanting to be one. I'm happy being a man and don't want to be perceived a woman.

I've been following your recent episodes of your life with great interest and wish you all the best in the new chapter.

- - - Updated - - -

Rader,

After many years on the forum I realised that in many ways I am not like most people here. I like to dress like women did when I was young, not like they do now.
I have completely no interest in discussing wigs, makeup, jewellery etc. I wear clothes that appeal to me, disregarding what others may think, as I do not go out in public.

I dress every day as it is usual in my environment to dress. I don't think of my clothes as anything special, just coverings for my body (I am not a nudist).

I don't think it is big deal to wear a skirt rather than trousers, is it?

That's why I formulated an idea of "miad".

[Nikki A.]

As for me I was born male and no matter how I dress I am still a male. However when I do dress up I try to look as "female" as possible. I have enough on top to fill a c-d cup if I wear a shaper and cutlets. Other than that no extra padding. Whether I'm seen as a man or woman doesn't really bother me. Just as long as I'm treated respectfully.
So am I a MIAD ???
What ever makes you happy and content is all that counts. We are all different and we should respect each other. The way I look at it the more of us that are out and about will make it easier for our situation become more accepted and more mainstream

[Rayleen]

For me when I dress, don't feel like a MIAD for sure, My inner feeling kicks in and act and think like Rayleen.

[Abbyru1]

I guess I fit here although I am not into defining terms -transvestite, crossdresser etc- and I could not "pass" in a dark room at night full of blind people. However, I wear MY clothing because I like how it feels and looks on me. So MIAD fits.

[Fiona123]

I am most definitely a man in a dress at this point. I really really want to take it further though.

[Dana44]

When I am in male clothes and clean shaven I get called mam. So when dressed like a girl. I sure get called a mam. I have long hair and even though dressed in male clothes I must look fem and get called that. So I don't try to do maid. I use a moisturizer on my face and I think that helps. If I put makeup on then I really look fem. I went out last night dressed to get a battery for my mouse and got a couple looks from men who seemed to like my look. So I am not a MAID.

[Kara in CT]

I never gave it any thought to being a MIAD until today. I was in Macy’s and I found a skirt that I had to have. I promised myself I would never buy another article of clothing again without trying it on. I’m in male clothing wearing jeans and black combat type boots with 4 days worth of facial hair. So I did. And loved it! I bought it and left.

When I got to my car I thought what the heck. I went back in and bought some black tights and headed to the men’s room. I put on the tights, skirt and my boots along with my men’s top and headed back into the store. Talk about nerves! I thought traveling pretty was up there but this was off the charts! I mingled in the shoe department and asked for a couple of sizes of shoes that they didn’t have��. No adverse reactions but I did catch people looking me up and down trying to compute what they saw.

Since I was now in shoe shopping mode I went as I was dressed to DSW and another Macy’s but no luck. As it was getting late I headed to my hotel to check in and yup, I stayed dressed as I was. I did add some lipstick and mascara cuz why not at this point. Check in went off without a hitch and here I sit.

So all in all, it was awesome! I do prefer to go all out and attempt to present as a female, but for those times when I’m not able I now have an outlet. Never would I have believed that I would do what I did, but it won’t be the last time.

[GeorgeA]

Kara,
I think being a miad does not have to be a full-time activity. Many people like to look at a coin from both sides. For me though, its miad all the way, no female look involved.
I commend you for presenting yourself as you want to be at the time. If more people see miads about they may become less of a shock than now.

[HollyGreene]

Although technically I am a man in a dress, I don't classify myself that way. I like to look feminine, so whenever I can I do the full makeup, wig, breastforms thing.

[Sabrina.K]

Yup. I am a miad.

I just like wearing women's clothes. A few weeks ago I even went out in dress with a beard. (Don't worry, it was Comic Con. It's totally normal there lol)

[phili]

I'm a MIAD, but it is not a 'less than' situation. I was amazed and relieved and overjoyed to find that being a man does not prevent me from feeling perfectly feminine.

At those times I would feel right at home in a female body, if I had one. But not having one, I am happy to be a mirl and enjoy all that my natural version of male womanhood offers.

I am happy with my options -I used to think that so many satisfactions, pleasures and relationships were out of bounds because not a girl, but that's all changed. Having a woman's body would just leave me in the same position, having one of three possible choices, [including intersex], and I'll always have to make the most of whatever I have.

MIADs can be more or less masculine, but that's the point- everyone wants to express what they feel. Now that I can see all this, I also completely understand wanting to use prosthetics and makeup- we are all homing in on what makes sense for us in our view of gender expression. The outcome is that we see ourselves as we want to in the mirror, and hopefully find others who come around to seeing us as we want them too. So wanting to be seen as female is just another version of wanting to be seen as male, or as a combination, etc.

[ellbee]

Man in a Dress? Nope!


To people who don't know me, I appear to be a MIAL -- Man in a (pair of) Leggings. :heehee:


Honestly, I feel it's a bit of a shame that way more guys don't wear them.

They're basically just tight stretchy pants! Only a heck of a lot more fun... :thumbsup:

[GeorgeA]

To each his own.

[Ginni]

I am not MIAD. I dress to be a woman. When dressed it feels normal and comfortable. I enjoy being fully dressed or partially. When not dressed I'm a man. (I think)

[BrendaPDX]

Not me, I like to dress in total when I have a chance. Brenda

[GeorgeA]

Ginni,
You wrote: When dressed it feels normal and comfortable.
You expressed what I, a miad, also can say.

[Mark B]

Salerba, sorry I missed this thread and am just now seeing it. I too, can relate to the MIAD. Like you and others, I don't actually wear dresses but skirts. My regular daily wear is a skirt and a men's jacket and tie. Other days is a skirt and a polo shirts. However, I am also wearing heels as well. For me (and this is what counts) it completes the look and I like wearing heels as much as the skirts.

I have gone out in the past as Martha (wig, forms and make-up) with the wife typically on the weekends. But I never feel totally comfortable when doing so. I actually felt more comfortable as a man wearing a skirt and heels, than as a man wearing the wig, forms, blouse and skirt or a dress. My wife understands this, so now we go out more as a MAID (D=dressed wearing a skirt and heels), but for her we will typically, once a month, go out together with me as Martha. Gotta keep her happy! But even then, I do not try to act feminine or feel feminine.

When in MAID I don't identify myself as Martha either.

I too, felt that we are a minority here. But as Teresa said, a lot of people that post here in the CD forum should be posting more other the forums. And after reading your thread, we are not alone.

[GeorgeA]

Martha B

I also prefer skirts but found that "miad" is more palatable than "mias". I remember seeing your pictures and always considered you "one of us". I know I have pictures similar to you in your avatar and want to post them as soon as I find them. I don`t wear heels: too feminine for me. I am glad that I find more people like me and don`t feel as isolated any more.
I`m sure there are more who have not yet seen my post or did not bother to post.

I was a little surprised when I joined here that I am so different from the majority here. Most want to look like women, and I don`t. I just like to wear clothes that were designed for women in the past, but mostly been abandoned by them. Most women wear trousers now rather than skirts, and bare legs and not nylons. It is up to us keep the old traditions alive. (With pleasure, I might say).

As to starting a special forum for miads it may not work as we are usually not very verbiose and may not generate enough posts to warrant it.

Are you the person who went to Europe recently or am I mistaking you for another.

[Charlotte7]

I consider myself to be a MIAD quite simply because it's what I look like. I don't have a wig. I don't have make up. I have forms which I like to wear as they satiflsfy my female side. I don't go out. However, I don't consider myself to be fully male. When I'm out in a pub and I see a group of men carrying on in that distinctive way that men do, I can join in, but I don't feel fully part of it. When I see a group of girls in the same pub, I feel I could join them, but could never be one of them. In effect I feel I have bits of both. There is maleness there, there is femaleness there. Given a choice I would choose to wear women's clothes as they are infinitely better. I suppose I fall into what some cultures have as a third gender, for example in Samoan terms a "fa'afafine". I suppose for me, the ideal would be public acceptance of me as I wish to be, not fully boy, not fully girl, but something in the middle. What a shame western culture only really has two gender indentities. As for everyone else, be whatever you want to be and if you crossdress to whatever extent then you're a friend, a sister and or a brother to me, the what exactly is up to you.

[jennifer0918]

I'm me ,doing me.

[Kiwi Primrose]

MIAD.
But I have a great love for soft fabrics and feminine mannerisms that I try very hard to incorporate in my everyday life. I have always done that with no desire to trans.

[Mark B]

Salerno. I live about 6 months a year in Germany near Stuttgart and the other in the Dallas, TX area. Been doing this back and forth thing for 7 years now. To many, I have the seasons mixed. I spend the cold winter months in Germany and the hot summers in Texas. But I enjoy the heat and sun that Texas offers during the summer. This last summer was my first wearing a skirt full time. I’m now going into my second winter trying to keep my legs warm 😏

[annecwesley]

I'm content as a Guy in a Skirt when I have the opportunity to go out in public (away from home or on a hike) and if I'm puttering around the house and just the wife is at home. At the same time I like to get all dressed up in private, breast forms and all. Skirting as a man is a matter of being comfortable, it's the tactile side of crossdressing, dressing up to look pretty and feminine is matter of mental satisfaction. When I'm out as a man in a skirt I want to look masculine. When I'm at home fully dressed I want to look feminine.

[Diedre]

When I was in my early teens I had a female cousin who knew of my dressing and kept my secret. She had amazing makeup skills and with my aunt's wig I could easily pass as any teen girl from 1970. We had a blast going out shopping at the mall, attending movies and having lunch. I was living a fantasy and fooling the world. GREAT memories.

Once full puberty hit I became a MIAD and lost all desire to even try to be passable. I have not worn make up or a stuffed bra in over 40 years. But I still enjoy all the sensations of lingerie, nylons, heels and a skirt.

[dawg612]

I'm not sure what my "label" is yet. I underdress in panties everyday, and still find it exciting to pick out a pair. I enjoy wearing bras, pantyhose, breastforms, dresses, skirts, blouses, wigs etc etc etc when I can, which is not very often. For me, and only speaking for me, it's still a sexual rush to get dressed in any form including and beyond panties. Not sure what the future may hold, but I'm looking forward to it.

[GeorgeA]

Diedre wrote:
Once full puberty hit I became a MIAD and lost all desire to even try to be passable. I have not worn make up or a stuffed bra in over 40 years. But I still enjoy all the sensations of lingerie, nylons, heels and a skirt.

It sounds like my story, except for bra & heels; don't like them.

[fullofwish]

I'n not really sure? I do wear a wig sometime (see avatar), and I like to wear makeup when I can, but I have no desire to wear bras, breastforms, or to change my voice when I dress. I know I don't "pass" as a woman and that's okay. I think my main motivation is not to be a *woman* but to be *feminine*. It's subtle and nuanced stuff, I guess, but for me personally, a lot of the time just putting on a pretty dress, some tights and heels is all I need, and sometimes when I'm feeling very femme, the wig & makeup too. *shrug*

[Imeni]

Well hell, I guess I found someone just like me. I'm just a plain, quiet guy who enjoys panties, bras, frilly things and dresses. But I have no real need for wigs, make up, nails, shoes, etc. and I really enjoy being a man. Cause thats who I am. Im just one that likes poofy dresses too.

[Toronto Kristen]

Apologies for being another member late to the "party".

This question is somewhat similar to one that has been rattling around my head recently: Specifically, if society changed to where a man could go to work in a nice skirt suit (like the one in my photo) or dress without having to try to pass, would you? [That is, if we could all dress like Martha without sanction or fear, would you?]

Right now I am wearing a grey business skirt suit while I complete and send off some job applications. Sadly, I would not be able to wear it for any resultant face-to-face job interviews.

Do not get me wrong, I would also love to be able to go out fully passable on occasions. I just chafe at the fact that outside of my home, I pretty much have an either/or choice. Why not "It depends on how I am feeling at the time"?

[Lucy23]

Specifically, if society changed to where a man could go to work in a nice skirt suit (like the one in my photo) or dress without having to try to pass, would you? [That is, if we could all dress like Martha without sanction or fear, would you?]

Yes, definitely. I too like women's business skirt suits or dresses. I wouldn't do it every single day, because I like my ordinary clothes as well and I feel good in them too. It would be dependent on if I felt like it, as you have mentioned. It's just some days I just want to wear a nice skirt, blouse, etc. I have no desire to pass or present as a woman, it's not who I am. Even if I tried it would like a mockery, an insult to women.

As for your "Why" question, well... because society. I struggle with this question a lot. Why would it matter if I came to work in a respectable skirt and shirt. And the answer is, well... you know, society.

[GeorgeA]

Apologies for being another member late to the "party".

This question is somewhat similar to one that has been rattling around my head recently: Specifically, if society changed to where a man could go to work in a nice skirt suit (like the one in my photo) or dress without having to try to pass, would you? [That is, if we could all dress like Martha without sanction or fear, would you?]

Right now I am wearing a grey business skirt suit while I complete and send off some job applications. Sadly, I would not be able to wear it for any resultant face-to-face job interviews.

Do not get me wrong, I would also love to be able to go out fully passable on occasions. I just chafe at the fact that outside of my home, I pretty much have an either/or choice. Why not "It depends on how I am feeling at the time"?

If society changed as you say it would be a dream come true for me. I would love to go about in a skirt suit but as a man; I have not the slightest interest "to pass"; to look like a woman. Therefore I am different from both you and Lucy23 who want to be on both sides of the fence.

[BrendaPDX]

I am not a MIAD. But I see where you are coming from.

[GeorgeA]

Fullofwish: I think miads can be slightly different from one another. What makes us miads is that we do not pretend to be women but remain men even if dressed unconventionally.

[CallieBelle]

Thanks so much for sharing this Salerba. I hadn't taken the time to truly distinguish MIADs apart from those en femme, even though I believe I have seen a few in public over the years. I appreciate your openness and applaud you for reconnecting with the community. Funny how within every minority there is another minority and another. The human brain is an organizer and classifier, so, of course, our cultures and societies mirror that.

I am not a MIAD, though in a moment, underdressed I can be a MIAD. But, then, I am being a MIAD, as a way to be in touch with the feminine. I guess that would make me sorta bi-MIAD (just being silly. not trying to create new designations). When in female clothing, I want to be as female as I can be. For example, over the last two days, with the help of multiple razors and trimmers, I have spent about 10 hours ridding myself of my Yeti suit after months being just a guy. But boy do I feel as smooth as a girl.

But, I don't hate being born male or being male. I don't dislike maleness. I like both. And if I had it my way I could be either, whenever I wanted – full body parts, shape, size, voice and all – with the snap of a finger or twinkle of a nose.. That would be my dream. But who knows, maybe with that freedom I'd lean towards one or the other or even find out that I was truly a MIAD after all.

[Georgina]

I am a MIAD in my own house most of the time. All my clothes will be female from the neck down. I don't use padding except for breast forms but I love foundation wear. Occasionally I like to use light make up but rarely wear a wig. I wear the clothes because I like them and I believe man has the right to wear what he wants especially in his own time.

[AllieBellema]

I feel like I could fall in that category too. I don't do a lot to disguise that I'm really a guy in a princess dress when I'm out cosplaying, but at the same time I do as much as I can to look as feminine as I can (although I still haven't used makeup outside of lipstick). Really, when I'm all dressed up in one of my cross plays, or a southern belle, or any of my vintage dresses, I could care less what gender they class me under. In the back of my mind though, I understand that I'm still a guy in the end of all of this. I work a factory life and live my life like any other guy, but when I need to destress or just take a break from being the everyday guy I am, I'll take the opportunity to dress up and be as feminine as I want to be. Granted, if I could get away with wearing the dresses I wear everyday... I would!

[Carrie M]

I believe I am a MIAD by definition and I'm quite happy with that too. I have facial hair which I enjoy as a man. Being 61 I think I'm unlikely to be passable at all even without the scruff. Number one thing for me is to enjoy the feeling of nice fabrics, tight leggings and jeggings, skirts brushing my legs, nylons, and pretty underwear. I'll wear a bra but one that fits (ha, easily said) my small boobs rather than feel a desire to pad out. Not into wigs I'm afraid. I love shoes though, adore heels.

If I could find a blended style so I could feel these fabrics and still do whatever I might do without drawing attention then I'd do that. I'm finding a few tricks like slightly oversize jeggings looking kinda like skinny man jeans (due to a few wrinkles). And V neck T's that are just a bit too "V". I'm probably fooling no one really but if I feel just comfortable then I'll do it. Self deception at it's best maybe :)

[GeorgeA]

CallieBelle,

If we start splitting classifications we will discover the obvious: We are all unique, and very unlikely there is someone EXACTLY like you. When I started the Miad thread I based it on what applies to me: facial hair, no wigs or bras or high-heels. I do not consider myself feminine at all and would rather be annoyed being referred "girl". Judging by some comments so far I can say my first statement is true: we are all unique, some like this but not that or just part of that, etc.

I spend 100% of my time as a man even though all my clothes resemble what women used to wear in the past. (Majority of present day women wear trousers, a garment I dislike.)
Even when I go out in male clothing I underdress. If our society could accept a man wearing a skirt I would be the happiest guy alive. As it is now I am too timid to try.

I am glad that I have received some approval & even encouragement from those who are on the other side o the fence.

- - - Updated - - -

Georgina,
You resemble me except for breast forms which I never use.
See also my reply to Callie.

[GeorgeA]

Well hell, I guess I found someone just like me. I'm just a plain, quiet guy who enjoys panties, bras, frilly things and dresses. But I have no real need for wigs, make up, nails, shoes, etc. and I really enjoy being a man. Cause thats who I am. Im just one that likes poofy dresses too.

Hi Imeni,

Since we do not try to present as women we tend to stay in the closet and mind our own business. I am sure there are more of us here just lurking and not posting.

[GeorgeA]

Salerba, there r way more like u than u think. I personally have met T's that wore facial hair, had a man's hair cut but wouldn't wear a wig or makeup, and some will not do anything to modify their male figures.

I personally identify with your MIAD definition. Not because I only partially dress, (I dress for ME alone and want to see a woman in my mirror), but because I don't have a female side, period.:straightface:

Sherry,
I just reviewed your post and I think I can agree with your statement that you are a "miad". The reasons you give only confirm that.
I always considered you somehow different than most here; you are an actor playing a multitude of roles and doing it so well.
I'm really amazed at your versatility.

[Alice_2014_B]

Lady-friend asked me a very similar question when she came out to see me do stand-up in full girl-mode.

For going out in public I go for a 100% look without disguising my voice or acting too feminine. I do, however, have a feminine walk when I'm out dressed.
And I'll always be in either a dress or a skirt. And heels are a must!

When I'm chilling at home I might relax around in a t-shirt, skirt, and heels.

:)

[Jodie_Lynn]

Nope, not a "MIAD".

Second, WTF is a "true" crossdresser??????

[CatchQueen]

For a while there, I tried to define myself too, only to come to the conclusion that it is an exercise in futility. I seem to evolve over time too, so it makes no sense.
Most people who dress/transition say they do it because they don't feel comfortable in their skin/in the role unilaterally assigned to them by society/conventions. I feel perfectly comfortable either way. For me dressing is like a drug: it gives me a high I cannot even begin to describe...and apparently the further I take it, the more intense this high/thrill is. I just LOVE it and it makes my life complete. Oh, and I'm way past my MIAD stage (which I too had at one point)...

[MarinaTwelve200]

I'm sorta that---I don't go out and I don't want to pass myself off as a woman. There are several reasons for Crossdressing---Loosely defined as a straight person (Usually male) who, from time to time, wears clothing of the opposite sex, as opposed to Cross dressing Homosexuals or Transsexuals. Crossdressers may do what they do for several reasons 1. The like the FEEL of the clothing fabric, cut, etc. 2. They have a fetish for women's Clothing 3.They are "ESCAPISTS", CDing to "get away from themselves" taking a "vacation" from ones self if only for a few hours. A lot of guys who wear uniforms in their job are into escapist CD. Not only does one escape from them self, but also escape from the stresses and responsibility of their own life and even "manhood"---They become a completely different person, relieve stress, and then go back to being a guy again.(like me) 4. "Taboo trippers and risk takers" Some CDs do it because it is socially "forbidden", (even in their own psyche)--violating such taboos, without dire consequences, often results in a "Rush" or "High" that is addictive. Passing for a woman in public and getting away with it is also a big rush as is simply taking the risk. 5. Humiliation SM is another reason, the CDer lowers his status and takes abuse, real or fantasy taking on a woman's role. ---------6. Disguises Some people like to simply Dress up in various disguises to demonstrate their skill or fool people. 7.Identifying as a woman. Some Dress as they identify with women sort of "borderline" TS cases or homosexuals---but lacking the true "sexuality" associated with such conditions---sort of rare.

So there is a list of why different reasons people cross-dress. ---I have missed a few, or some people might have several of these reasons---and even jump from one reason to the other as they progress. As mentioned above, I am an ESCAPIST I CD in private, perhaps take some pics, and let my stress simply flow away. I do not go out or socialize in costume, although, I do have fun seeing how well I can make myself look both for photos and for intensifying the escape experience. I would say you might be somewhat of an escapist, but only you would know for sure, I hope I hve given you some thoughts to consider.

[Samantha uk]

I don't think its as black and white as you make out because I do wear all the the padding makeup etc and I do try to pass for female but I still consider myself as a man in a dress. I'm just a man who is expressing the feminine side of his personality.

I know that may sound confusing to some but I don't like to pretend that this part of my personality is somehow something or someone else that is separate from me. Crossdressing is genetic and as such I am not the man I am now without it

[Raychel]

I dont know where I would fall, In the middle I guess.
It is the full kit from the neck down, Full breast, Firm tuck. And all the accessories necessary
to complete the look from the neck down.

But no desire for makeup, (Which was only ever done once by my wife)
And a wig, I do have a few, But not really desired.

So like the rest of my life, My dressing is just confusing as well. :heehee:

[phili]

I'm SO HAPPY this thread is alive and well, and there are so many MIADs among us. I was bragging in another post that I don't mind being the only one in sight, but really, I wish you all could populate my real world.

Back to business- I observe from the posts that a lot of us have come to the point of just accepting the contradictory impulses and desires, and I think we might all agree that basically the point is the truth is always the stable place to be.

The truth of real people is that we are not at all uniform, or able to be conveniently separated into the gender binary. The source of conflict is not in us, it is in the attempts to sustain the myth of the binary. It really is a classic mythmaking strategy to bring order to what is very messy in real life, and thereby to bring some peace, at the price of a lot of control.

Actual peace lies is being who we are, without apology or even having to wonder, find a label, etc. I think I am so happy reading this thread now because so many here have found that as well.

I think the public exposure of transgenderism has softened up the beachheads of the oppressive gender binary, and the revolt against sexual harassment of women, in particular, is only going to be resolved by understanding that women are perfectly capable and broadly skilled, diverse and competent, and equal in every respect to men, who have been accorded tremendous privileges, but at a mostly unacknowledged huge personal and psychological cost.

We have been living in a fantasy world where 'men' were kings, and this was supported by terrible oppression of women and cultivation of the worst traits of power and privilege in men. Now we can see that men are no better or worse than women, and I don't think there is any outcome possible except that men will be released as well from their oppression.

It is up to us as the revolutionaries to keep lighting candles in public- to speak openly about men as free to be masculine or feminine or any hybrid mix. To express ourselves, and say we are expressing ourselves, and to challenge anyone who objects to answer the question 'Why not?'. The answer has always been indirect- 'society will punish you'. I

By going out, I am sending a simple message- I exist, am peaceful, normal, coherent and I freely and have no fear about mixing and matching gender expressions. As

I don't flinch if anyone indicates they aren't happy about that. I continue with normal conversation. I am in essence saying- "This isn't about society- society isn't here, you are. Do you really want to punish me?" In a few milliseconds, people choose. Most relax and admit, wordlessly, that they know life is a costume party, and it really doesn't matter what I wear.

Some cling to their disapproval, but they know it is their choice and the river of Truth is flowing onward without them. I don't take it on. Those that want punish are ashamed of that desire, and most suppress it. If anyone actually becomes hostile, I will love them and ask them about what they are seeing.

I have not been in a situation where anyone would actually choose hate speech or physical violence, and I have seen both easy and grudging acceptance in small towns, etc. I think danger now only arises in non-public conditions, as with any crime.

So we are free to do our part in the public marketplace of ideas to break the spell of the masculine male/feminine female mythology, and free women and men in our worlds.

[Secret Sis]

You have definitely described me... I love wearing clothes that are as frilly and feminine as possible, but have no interest in wigs or makeup or anything else to my face to actually appear female. I only dress at home and and where I am now seems to work fine for both my wife and me.

[Stephanie Julianna]

I am definitely not a MIAD. However, I underdress almost all year accept in very warm weather. If I am in female clothes I am in full makeup and a wig.

[Monique65]

I have been content to dress from the neck down for over 50 years. However, seeing all of you beautiful women here has got me pondering. Shave my face? Makeup? Wig? Hmmm...

[Sabrina.K]

I've been thinking the same thing, Monique65.

I've always been a MIAD, but the more I see others with full makeup and wigs, the more I want to try it...... I should really stay away from the photo forum and reddit. I would NOT be good at makeup lol.

[krissy]

I dress all the way makeup and all love it cant get enough

[GeorgeA]

Nope, not a "MIAD".

Second, WTF is a "true" crossdresser??????

To my mind a "true" crossdresser is the one who tries to emulate a woman; to be perceived by others as a woman;"to pass".
Miad, on the other hand, does not hide his masculinity, presents himself as a man wearing clothes that were once associated with women. Present day women's attire does not count as 90% of women wear trousers, and miads are not interested to look like women who wear trousers.

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Marina,
Very interesting observations and perhaps apply to many, in varying degrees.

[Pat]

Present day women's attire does not count as 90% of women wear trousers, and miads are not interested to look like women who wear trousers.

Really? There are no MIADs who wear women's trousers? That's an interesting fun fact.

[GeorgeA]

Raychel,
We all are different, with varying aspects of crossdressing. I just like to wear the clothes that by now have become my natural, regular clothes. I no longer think I'm crossdressing, I'm just "dressing". It's too bad that I'm not brave enough to go out the way I'm dressed all day, and have to camouflage it with masculine attire. I envy Philli and Martha B. who can be themselves among their associates and such.

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Pat,
Please read the first words of my statement "to my mind". I am expressing my opinions.

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Philli,
I always enjoy your posts. You are always so philosophical, and even though I may not always agree with everything you say, I appreciate your saying it. I just mentioned in another post that I envy you and others who are brave enough to present yourself as you are, without regard what others think.
I am working on gathering some photos from my "miad" life.

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Monique 65 & SabrinaK,

Even though I don't share your desires I say go for it. You want something different so why not do it?

[Robin-in-TX]

I am not an "MIAD". I have always known that I should have been born a woman. But, I wasn't. That has not stopped me from having relationships with women. I underdress everyday and my wife knows this. We are geographically separated but not emotionally separated now and I dress fully every evening. I can give up the dressing outwardly as I did for most of the last 55 years. But, I know what I am. I love my wife and family. I won't do more than I've done because I cannot see transitioning this late in life. My wife knows and accepts that I wear panties but will go no further when she is with me. It just isn't where we are as a couple and after 20 years I won't change that.

[Aeslyn]

Hi :)
It's been a long time since I've posted here as I've been quite busy, but this thread looks like a great place to make a return, especially as I've been going through a lot of issues of my own identity on this topic for the past few years.
MIAD is what I know many would refer to me as, I'll admit. My form is quite masculine and honestly there is nothing I can do about that without spending money I don't have. So I don't try to pass, nor do I feel it is important to pass and much more important to be me and accept who I am. Don't get me wrong though, I'd do have this vision in my head that I'd love to look like.
But that is the outside. On the inside I know I am much more woman than man. My body might be male but the person inside it is not. I exhibit that inner girl everyday in one way or another, no wonder where I am, despite my "alpha male" appearance. I also do know the reaction many have to the Man-In-A-Dress and have no desire to put myself in that position. So I do not dress in public as I'd like, but I know that if I could pass I would. Quite a dilemma, really.
I have spent the past years wonder who or what I am, however. No terms ever seemed to fit right. And everyone seems to use these terms in different ways, as well. Crossdresser doesn't mean the same to everyone, nor does transgender. But for some reason neither term seemed to fit me anyway, nor did the MIAD which, as I said, is what I know people would see if they saw me the way I enjoy being. In the end I have decided I am a male-bodied woman passing as a man. That's my term for myself, and it is more descriptive of me than any other, it comes from myself, and is of importance to who I am. The point of all of this is not to let others label you, or get too hung up on terms anyway. We all have a right to define our own identity, regardless of what other's see.
And that is the result of my soul-searching.

[DaisyLawrence]

To my mind a "true" crossdresser is the one who tries to emulate a woman; to be perceived by others as a woman;"to pass".
Miad, on the other hand, does not hide his masculinity, presents himself as a man wearing clothes that were once associated with women. Present day women's attire does not count as 90% of women wear trousers, and miads are not interested to look like women who wear trousers.

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Marina,
Very interesting observations and perhaps apply to many, in varying degrees.

Surely, if you think about it, a MIAD is a 'true' crossdresser and what you consider a 'true' crossdresser could be considered as something more (crossdresser plus, female impersonator?). Afterall, a MIAD appears to be a man in the clothing of a woman and that is, by definition, crossdressing (the word is cross-dressing not crossdressing+forms+makup+wig+pads etc).

[AlanaG]

Really? There are no MIADs who wear women's trousers? That's an interesting fun fact.

I do once in a while. I have a pair of womens dressy slacks that I often wear heels with and a woman's top. But I don't wear a wig or forms. MIWP?

[Ginni]

I dress to bring the female side out of me. I dress to be a women. I am not a MIAD. If I were to give me a title it would be transgender or maybe Bigender would be a better fit. Most of the time I am a man and very satisfied with it, but there is also a women in me.

[GeorgeA]

MarinaTwelve200,
Very interesting commentary on crossdressing, and perhaps covers most common reasons. There could be others; some people are unpredictable. A miad to my mind would be the first two points, mainly, but not exclusively. I know it applies to me with perhaps #3 thrown in slightly.

[Ineke Vashon]

Lucky me. I do not label myself. Very simply, at home I dress in a skirt or skort or peasant skirt and a blouse or t-shirt. Panties of course. I do sport homemade boobs - padded top of a bikini with some cut sponge material inside. I enjoy the feminine feel it gives me. I like wearing a half slip in bed. When I go out, it's as a normal man. I tend not to question whether I am miad, cd, tr, or whatever. Gives me peace.:ale:

Cheers,
Ineke

[Brenn]

I think I fit easily into this "category," although I am with others who don't really like to put a label on it. I tend to mix clothing from the men's and women's racks. However, my favorites are nylons, leggings, capris and ballet flats. I don't hide that I am wearing these things and go out in public all the time. I just find some of these things more comfortable.