recent experiences

[Tamsin Secret]

Hi all,

Hope your all well.

Just thought I would share a couple of recent experiences I've had in male mode recently.

The first was when in town going into a charity shop as I always do to see if I can spot any items I might be able to add to my little collection.

As I entered my eyes met another's who was coming out. I smiled and so did they (I think) but I knew it was one of us! She was dressed very casually in flats, jeans and a summery top. Wig and light make up. She was definitely passable I just think my own interest in cd'ing heightened my conscience of who was in front of me.

I will admit to being a little awestruck as they were living out one of my greatest dreams and being out there in the real world being them.

Rightly or wrongly i I wanted to see how others would react to her so I gave it 10 seconds or so and left the shop and discreetley walked in the same direction and she headed through town.

I was more interested in others reactions as she had the walk nailed and was floating down the street. Very confident.

For the minute or so I followed there was only on couple (the male) who made comment to his partner after she had passed and they both turned to look however it was a glance and they then continued as if they hadn't seen anything.

It was amazing.

Really made me feel like if I was to do it I should concentrate on me only and enjoy it as for anyone looking on it's a fleeting moment that is forgotten in a heartbeat.

The 2nd time was driving to a function with a lovely but old school work colleague if you get my drift. As we were heading to our destination one of us was walking along the street while we were in the car. Again they looked confident and passable but as we went past he turned around and said 'ws that a guy'? I said I didn't notice (I did) but what I was more amazed with was that he said nothing further and believe me he is the sort of guy who usually would. He said nothing more of it the rest of the night.

I think it's in our heads about possible reactions.

It's given me hope (and more scarily fuel) to think into could one day make that walk....

Miss S

[DIANEF]

I saw a video recently of a CDer walking around that was shot on a dashcam. Was pretty good looking but if you looked closely you could tell. There was virtually no reaction from anyone, even when the CDer walked right past them, and when I have been out dressed, so far no reaction again.

[Sallee]

I guess that says We didn't pass, but no one cares. So I guess that is a good thing

[Stacy Darling]

As a make-up wearing male for starters, I get a few looks.

The possible negative reactions are still there, and some may be not so nice!
Head up and smile!
Stacy

[Tracii G]

I agree Stacy and being the same I get double takes but 99% are just that a double take 1% can be a not so nice confrontation.
Odds are nothing is going to happen so don't worry about it.
MS if any of us can do it you can too.

[Allisa]

Yes if we try we can see others out and about but why? When I'm out I don't look for others because I'm going about my own business and I know "we" are there and doing our own thing I don't need confirmation we are in numbers, just look at the members numbers on this site alone. I know I'm "made" when out but what others think is of no consequence to me and if they do make remarks behind my back at least I'm walking away from them. As it has been said our own fears are in our own heads. Being yourself (dressed) is doable if we just get out of our own heads and get on with life. "DAMN THE TORPEDO'S, FULL SPEED AHEAD". Best of luck in your femme endeavors.

[Tracii G]

Allisa I never look for them I just see them here and there and if I don't know them personally I don't speak to them unless they speak to me first.
Actually turn around and follow a CDer is not something I would do because that would have to make that person feel awful being followed.

[~Joanne~]

I have only seen one sister while I was out and that was a few years ago now. She clearly didn't pass but she also clearly was very confident as to who she is and that meant a lot to me personally because I am hoping at some point in time that I will feel the same way about myself. Other than this one sighting, I haven't seen any other sister's around these parts, I am about 40 minutes away from janet's too and am in that area a lot and even then I don't see any sister's about. then again, I am not actively looking for them either ;)

well maybe when I am around janet's lol

[Rachael Leigh]

I think the key I know for me is I accept I'm not 100 percent passable but I act like it's nothing being out as I enjoy in how I'm dressed. I don't try and overdress and am learning not to overdue my makeup .
It's all attitude and how you show yourself for sure

[AngelaYVR]

Hundreds of posts state that most people don't notice, the rest don't care. A few will respect what you do and give you a smile. Maybe you might get a nervous giggle once in a while. But this one of those things that nobody believes until they experience it for themselves, so the rest is up to you!

[Lana Mae]

I have noticed a few that may have been CD/TS! I did not approach or engage in conversation. Just went about my business as did they! Washing machine broke down today! Why is it always full of water when that happens? I took the clothes to the laundramat to wash and partially dry them! I have not been in a laundramat for thirty years! I was in male mode but with my coral nail polish on! Spoke with a number of people and know they saw my fingers but not one comment or question! It is mostly in our heads! Hugs Lana Mae

[Tamsin Secret]

Actually turn around and follow a CDer is not something I would do because that would have to make that person feel awful being followed.

I would like to clarify I'm not a cd stalker and my distance was more than respectable.

To be fair I took it to far when I tried to grab her

It's ok to be curious tracii, I know you don't know me, however suggesting someone would be as discourteous as to make another feel like this knowing the angst most of us feel is disrespectful in my book.

Next time I will carry a sign saying 'im not following the cd up the road honest'.

But thanks for your input.

[Aunt Kelly]

Hundreds of posts state that most people don't notice, the rest don't care. A few will respect what you do and give you a smile. Maybe you might get a nervous giggle once in a while. But this one of those things that nobody believes until they experience it for themselves, so the rest is up to you!
Couldn't have said it better myself, but then a few of those "hundreds of posts" were mine. :)
Can't say that I've ever noticed a nervous giggle though. Surely they've been there but none that I've noticed. The gape-mouthed stare though, that I have experience with. Staring back, always with a big sincere smile, is the best way to handle those, but that happens seldom enough as to just not matter at all.

[ginapoodle]

Let a smile be your umbrella...or sometimes a Klingon War Bird cloak of invisibility...or teflon shield...or all power Scotty to the shields?

Attitude is everything.

[Tracii G]

Holy cow miss secret I never said YOU were a stalker and it wasn't me who followed the CDer it was you.
You never know if the person you followed knew you were following them or not.
Please don't make me the bad guy here just because I made a statement.
Never mentioned you by name but you want to twist it all around and try to imply I said something about you personally which I didn't.
I guess you feel guilty so you are taking it out on me.

[Micki_Finn]

I agree with Tracii 100%. When I go out I am HYPER aware of my surroundings because one HAS to be to stay safe. Violence against trans persons is in he rise and if I saw someone pull a U-turn from a store to follow me, I'd probably lead them to the nearest police station.

It's a dangerous would out there and a girl has to be careful.

[Romina]

I'm still plucking up the courage to go out dressed in public. The thought of it is very exciting I must say.

[sometimes_miss]

I always get a kick out of people writing, 'she was very passable', and then telling us that they clocked her. Right. Got it. Passable. Sure.
A group of teen age girls are probably the definitive test. If you can see a CD'er standing in front of a group of them, and not a single one bats a eye, then yeah, she passes.

[phili]

To Miss Secret and all the other wishers- DO IT! just go out and find out what it feels like to be yourself with others, no longer just with dream figures or our mirror-gazing selves.

If I can do it anyone can do it. I am the extreme end of not passing and it is perfectly fine with everyone I meet. If you are working at more of a female body look, it will be fine, too, as long as you feel good about what you are doing in that respect and don't let your image-making get in the way of being a person. No matter how skillful or not, makeup and falsies disappear from view when we have a conversation and connect.

It was amazing how fast I gave up fear and trembling, and any fantasy of drawing stunned gazes of attraction, or challenges. It was just too straightforward to just act normally- which is to say, in accordance with the inner feelings I am actually having. I'm a mirl shopping for dresses, or out to enjoy the sunshine in a dress and heels, along with other types of girls. I carry myself with normal self-respect and kindness to everyone, and the people who at first laugh at me or stiffen at the strange look quickly relax and enjoy the fact that I am not asking for anything but friendly civility either.

Do it- it is just as wonderful as you imagine it, to enjoy shopping, or walking along the street in a dress, enjoying all that the experience has to offer. When we are not tense, we do just feel all the feelings that we see women feeling and desperately wished for the opportunity to share. When I am in the closet I feel I am sort of simulating them in my private world, but in the real world I am just feeling them like any woman would. It is quite a revelation.

[Gwyneth]

I remember walking down the parkway in Gatlinburg several years ago. I was with another woman. The sidewalk was extremely crowded that July 4th week. If anyone has been, you know what I mean. I was just walking looking around and almost ran right into a girl. Didn't seem to be walking with anyone. Yes she was tall. Cute. I did notice some male features but didn't think about it too much. A few steps past and my friend commented that this girl was definitely a CD. I just shrugged my shoulders and we continued walking. But that hot July day there was one young CD living her dream. Looked good if we were correct.

[AngelaYVR]

I have to admit, I sometimes wonder how many closet CDs I pass that wish they could be out doing the same as me. Are they some of the men whose gazes linger just a little too long? Maybe. I'm 6' without my heels and have a penchant for 50s retro styles, there is no blending in. Cinched waist. Pencil skirts. Natty scarves. No jeans, no flats, no "dressing like the other women". But even so, I escape the notice of most that I pass. People are having conversations, looking at their phones, thinking about if they left the oven on. So if that can give you any forward impetus to your plans for going out, then I'll be happy. But you do have to put in some effort: no galumphing like a dyspeptic gorilla, etc. Dress nicely, be feminine and the world is your oyster!

[dynastycarol]

I think many CisWomen have a TG fantasy from what I have read.
Being with a TG is considered safe to explore themselves.
That's why many women don't mind a TG who has a few passability issues.