Don't you Hate when other CDers expose them selfs on other sites?

[Judy-Somthing]

I love to dress up but respectful not XXX!
I know it can be a turn on to dress up in women's clothes but keep your tools to yourself.
It's the XXX cross-dress that gives us a bad name.
I stayed away from all cross dresses websites due to the "people who need to show their D---!\

What do you think?

[Stephanie47]

Unfortunately there are too many people who will paint all men who wear women's clothing as perverts, child molesters, and porn queens. Unfortunately transwomen also are painted with that same brush stroke. I really think wives who suspect or know their husbands wear women's clothing encounter those sites and really get the wrong picture. I've suggested in the past, if a husband is going to have "the Talk" with his wife, he should lead her to this site.

[Rachael Leigh]

Judy your so right and it's exactly why people agree we need these discriminatory bathroom bills. This is the picture the
general public sees when they think of a man in a women's room. That's why those of us who go out need to represent girls
like us as normal and just people trying to live our lives like anyone else.
Educate, educate

[Jenna Stunned]

Yup, The fetish side of this really drives me crazy. And it seems like there are A LOT more of them than us. I get so many messages from people "Fishing" on facebook its annoying. I mean to each their own but, I'm not wired that way, And it sure doesn't help my cause any.......

[Tracii G]

Leigh is so right thats why it is up to us to represent properly as women not some porn star.
I know some here are into kinky stuff and get off on dressing like hookers but please think about the rest of us before you head out the door looking like that.
I absolutely find it disgusting when a person comes here looking for a hook up or posting pics of their schlong erect in a pair of panties.
As much as I like that part of the male anatomy there is a time and place for it but not here.

[jack-ie]

I think many of us gravitate to the sexy (hooker) look when we first start dressing. I know I did but My wife, at the time, guided me to a more tasteful, natural look.
As for the exposure thing, it does feed the public's misconceptions. Don't show it, tuck it!

[Jodie_Lynn]

Until E-Harmony starts accepting submissions from those on the LGBT spectrum, some of us are left little choice other than to use fetish or 'hook up' sites to find those willing to spend time with us.

Many folk on here tell us of their accepting, (and even encouraging!) spouses. To them, I sincerely say "Congratulations! You are damned lucky." Many of us are not as fortunate.

Y'all want to look down on those that seek a little acceptance, or companionship? Go right ahead. But until you have been alone, lonely, and contemplated ending your (seemingly) hopeless existence, you really have no clue at all.

I mean, FFS, we have a member of this board that wears a friggin' rubber mask when she goes out! I hear NO ONE calling her on that. Or the folk that talk about a specific make and style of panty, by a specific manufacturer, and no one says boo.

Some of you people are just as judgmental, if not more so, than the muggles.

[Krea]

Yes Judy.
Those very explicit websites are not only misleading to the wider world, but also potentially a big put-off for newer CDers.
I was extremely lucky that the first website i found when i began searching was this one and it was very reassuring and informative. I have looked at a few other websites since (but not for very long!!) and realised how fortunate i was. If any of those had been my first impression i would have been scared straight back into the closet for a very long time....

[Jenna Stunned]

Until E-Harmony starts accepting submissions from those on the LGBT spectrum, some of us are left little choice other than to use fetish or 'hook up' sites to find those willing to spend time with us.

Many folk on here tell us of their accepting, (and even encouraging!) spouses. To them, I sincerely say "Congratulations! You are damned lucky." Many of us are not as fortunate.

Y'all want to look down on those that seek a little acceptance, or companionship? Go right ahead. But until you have been alone, lonely, and contemplated ending your (seemingly) hopeless existence, you really have no clue at all.

I mean, FFS, we have a member of this board that wears a friggin' rubber mask when she goes out! I hear NO ONE calling her on that. Or the folk that talk about a specific make and style of panty, by a specific manufacturer, and no one says boo.

Some of you people are just as judgmental, if not more so, than the muggles.

Oh, Man..... Where to begin..... Firstly, Gonna go to bat for that "Memeber that wears a friggin rubber mask" That member has been an important contributor of this forum since as far back as I can remember, And while not everyone gets her, She has ALWAYS conducted herself with grace and dignity and her post demonstrate intelligence. She is not running around trying to over sexualize dressing up as a woman while acting like a damned porn star desperate for attention. When I dress up as Jenna, My "Mask" Is a ton of makeup, and a wig, Hers is rubber, Its not all that different in my mind. If thats how she wishes to been viewed as, Then that's her call, And I how i see her. And I will treat her accordingly to her personality, As I would any other person I met in real life or online.

Second, If your married to someone who doesn't accept you for being you, Who's fault is that? Really? That boils down to a choice, One I made sure I made BEFORE I got married. I KNEW that this WAS NEVER GOING AWAY, And that there was NO WAY I was going to marry someone hiding this side of me, Both because hiding sucks and its dishonest and disrespectful to my wife. She has a right to know who she is marrying, ALL OF ME! If you want to stay in a marriage with someone that either doesn't know about all of you, Or doesn't accept you for who you are, Than that's all on you. Don't use that as an excuse to justify, What exactly were you even bringing this up for, Cheating on your spouse with another CD because your horny?

Im pretty sure virtually EVERY MEMBER ON THIS BOARD can relate to " But until you have been alone, lonely, and contemplated ending your (seemingly) hopeless existence, you really have no clue at all." I guess some of us just deal with that differently than others, I myself don't need to search out sexual encounters to get through the day.

But I will agree, Some of us are just judgmental. As is our right to be so against those that give us a bad reputation by society. I have recently been contacted by someone I know in real life, That floats in the same social circles, Come out and tell me over messanger that "He has friends that do what I do" And that he is "Good at keeping secrets" then proceed to treat me like some damn sex object. I have never felt more gross in my life. While yes, I LOVE sharing pictures, And I am so very thankful for all the feedback I get from them, The last thing I want is to be some guys sexual fantasy. I wonder where he learned that misconception that that was what being Transgender was about? Do I NOT Have a right to be judgemental?

[yuri]

I've always dressed and presented like a normal girl. Those CDers give the majority a bad name. It's always the vocal ones whom the media base their stereotypes on, isn't it?

[Tracii G]

Well said Jenna I agree.

[alwayshave]

Thinking that trans women on XXX sites represent all people on the trans spectrum is like assuming that all female porn starts represent all women. Just not the case.

[GretchenM]

Jenna,

Your comments regarding the situation in marriages where the wife is not accepting or is minimally accepting does not take into account the history we, especially the older ones, have had. Many of us were little kids in the 50's when we first began to experience this. If we opened up about it we were punished, shamed, and basically abused because of who we felt we were. That drove us into hiding. Then we got married and maybe the gender feelings were there or maybe not. I was a not. Then 45 years later I had to face the music of who I am - a non-binary gender variant. I reveal it to my wife. She doesn't file for divorce, but she also doesn't approve. Why? She grew up in the 50's as well. But to have my own freedom to do as I please would mean either forcing my wife to accept or giving up 48+ years of marriage for just this one thing when only this one thing is a problem. Forcing her to accept is contrary to what most people think women do - in fact, it is masculine macho. Either way, that doesn't make much sense and seems to be extremely selfish which plays into one of the complaints the muggles have about us - we are self centered. Perhaps, Jenna, you should not be so judgemental of us older folks who grew up in a different world than the one you grew up in. We all have different situations and feelings and values and sometimes the love we have for our SO's is unconditional and so we adapt and continue in a reasonably happy way. We are not so willing to destroy our SO's happiness just so we can do what we want to do. It is not loving to do that and in that case the dressing is not the problem. It is the meanness and selfishness of the CD to demand acceptance. So the problem in the marriage is not the crossdressing; it is the basic personality conflict. My wife and I are still quite happy even though it is different in some small ways than it was 5 years ago when I came out. But that is life and the love we have for each other won.

Sorry, Judy, had to comment on Jenna's perspective. But I completely agree with you. And I am glad to see you are still around after the turmoil in your life. Hope things are a little bit better. I still think that in terms of gender expression, you are one of the best examples of what is possible. A classy woman who knows who she is.

[Kate Simmons]

I'm really not interested in that, so don't go to those sites. :)

[taruhhhh]

i notice some comments on here casting blame in the direction of those that might dress a little more eroticly than some others and saying that cd's like those are to blame for our negative public press. i have to disagree simply for the fact that if you havent noticed, religion makes a big deal out of even homosexuality so if you think all judgement would disappear just because all cd's started dressing more conservatively youd be in for a rude awakening. that coupled with the fact that sexuality has a large part to play in human psychology and that most people who are lets say "overly erotic" for lack of better words are usually that way because they havent been able to express themselves in a healthy way so the opposite extreme tends to express itself consequently because of all the pent up emotion usually releasing into the most effortless avenue, thus oversexualization.

[Ressie]

Porn has been around since the invention of the camera and your hatred of it won't change anything. If you're having marriage problems don't blame it on crossdressers that like to show off. Men are very visual sexually speaking and always will be.

[Stacy Darling]

I didn't know that there were such sites, probably because I haven't looked! (I'll do some research so I understand in the future)

Nice attack on the mask Jodie_Lynn, My mask is my wig and make-up! Pick on me!

Stacy!

[Krisi]

I haven't seen websites like you describe but I haven't looked. There have been a few such people join here but they didn't stay long.

I do believe the general public views crossdressers as "perverts" and that's a shame. The truth is though, some are just that and that's why we get that reputation. It's a bit like the gay guy who goes overboard with green hair, the exaggerated walk and tight clothing. People like him give gay people a bad name.

That said, I have learned that changing other people's behavior to match our expectations is a losing battle just like other people trying to change our behavior is not likely to happen.

[Jenny22]

Jodie Lynn, I take exception to your "wears a friggin mask when she goes out" statement, because its not true. My first dinner with sisters included Sherry without her mask. She's a lovely person, in person, but like most of us, we are not pleased with how we look as we age. She chooses her mask option as that meets HER needs when necessary! She has also been very kind and helpful to me in my need to be more 'out'. I think you should apologize to her.

[Gillian Gigs]

The over sexualized sites are for those who are saying,"hey look at me". I even question some of the photos that appear on our own site. It's like someone feels that if they dress like a girl and have sex with a guy they are not having gay sex. Well I look at it this way, you can dress up a donkey, but it is still a donkey! If you are gay or bi then admit it to yourself and move on. Porn is not going to go away, so there will be anything that could float someone's boat out there. It is unfortunate that people see the wrong stuff and get the wrong idea. It is also sad that there are ******** out there that are in the sex trade because it is their only way to pay for their SRS, at least that is what has been reported on the news shows.

Something to be remembered is that some of us were fetish dressers at one point and over the years have transitioned to individuals who just enjoy the clothes regardless of sexual feelings. I enjoy a tasteful photo too, it is nice to see how someone can transform themselves into what they envision themselves to be. Remember I said tasteful, like PG rated!

[LilSissyStevie]

Nothing anybody else does, including my own children, is a reflection upon me. That attitude relieves me of the burden of policing the behavior in others that I wouldn't approve of in myself. Live and let live. However, I do reserve the right to laugh at all the morons in the world, including myself at times. Ninety-nine percent of the porn out there is of GGs degrading themselves in every possible way. Hey, it's a living! So if some CDs do that, it's not any different than what some GGs do. Although the motives are probably different. What is truly annoying are theses types of self-righteous, hypocritical, virtue signaling threads. Personally, I'm opposed to ax murderers and nazi concentration camps. Aren't I wonderful.

[Pat]

I don't know that I find trans exhibitionist behavior substantively different than the behavior of cisgender exhibitionists. I don't judge all women based on exhibitionist women but that's probably because I know lots of women and have an understanding that exhibitionistic behavior is rare. I think rather than condemn folks you can't affect anyway maybe you should be out there interacting with the public so they can know what normal transgender people are like. It won't be a huge leap for them to understand trans porn sites are no more realistic than cis porn sites once they know there *is* such a thing as normal transgender people. ;)

[Fiona123]

Judy I completely agree. Posing half crossdressed and showing your junk makes us all look bad and reinforces a negative stereotype. I have no interest in looking at that stuff.

There is a grey area between sexy and porn. Dressing sexy is ok be me, maybe even empowering. Porn not so much.

[AllieSF]

How about exposing yourself here, like this thread? "Let's see your sexiest picture". A lot of us participated in that thread in different degrees of dress and undress, including me ... dressed. I agree with the naysayers here in that we all can sometimes or most of the time get way too judgemental for our own good. We want acceptance from that "real normal" world out there and then have so much difficulty on accepting our own on this site and others. You see yourselves here, the sissy dressers, the heels, stocking, panty and bra crowds, the see my butt in my panties group, the too short dress or skirt crowd, and then the top heavy extra large breast form girls. I personally love and respect all of you and say to you to enjoy your own life as best you can and how you want as long as it is safe for you and others and legal.

As Pat said, if you complain about us, you should also include complaints about those cis-women who dress and act the same, and the guys too who accessories to those crimes. If you do not like it, ignore it. The rest of society does that everyday as they go about their lives. Does someone give us a bad image, sure and sometimes, but the number of people seeing or experiencing that bad image are usually limited to the few that actually see that is real life out in the real world, or those curious minded folk who visit one of those nasty bad sites some of you are referencing here. Hell, the person visiting that kind of site and then complaining is worse than the pot calling the kettle black! Why should we worry about what that sick person thinks or says?

That human population out there that has many of you so scared to step out of the house actually does not react the way you worry so much about. They see, they register, they think or make a comment, and then they quickly forget about it and get on with their lives. We are a blip in their awareness. You (and they) see one bad apple and you know not to judge every other apple as bad. The general public is smart enough to understand that whatever is outside the norm is truly outside the norm and does not represent anyone else but the person that they see. They do not automatically label someone as a perve. They may label them as odd or weird, but not pornographic pervy. If you think that they do, then just by dressing all prim and proper will have them labeling you as a perve because they don't know any better, have never visited those porn sites or run across the sexy CD tart out in the wild, nor have been told that people like us are perves. In other words, they will label anyone different from themselves as perves with no other outside help or clues.

So, I say live your own lives and let others live theirs.

[NicoleScott]

I am not responsible for what others think of you. They are, or you are, or some of both. So don't tell me how to dress or where I go. I'll be responsible for that.


That "sexiest picture" thread wasn't really about your sexiest picture but about your sexiest picture without getting moderated. When I first read it I was reminded of articles I read about eating blowfish, to get the maximum pleasure short of killing you. I never ate blowfish and I didn't post to the thread.

[Micki_Finn]

Hate is a strong word and I wouldn't use it in this situation. I'd say I cringe when I see it. I cringe because it perpetuates a stereotype. Because it reinforces the porn-tinted view of us most of the muggles have. I wish they'd have a little class, but to each their own and if all they are in pursuit of is sexual gratification then I suppose flashing your junk around is the most direct way to get it, but I've gotten so much out of dressing it makes me a little sad that these girls are so singleminded.

[Nigella]

This (https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/faq.php?faq=main_rules#faq_respect)

and

This (https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/faq.php?faq=main_rules#faq_content)


Ridiculing members/non-members, or the manner in which they express themselves. This includes any complaint about the way females, males, transgendered, or any other cross-section of the membership dress, the way they express themselves (such as spelling and language skills, and any mention of religious beliefs, political preferences and affiliations, sexual preference, etc.)



I guess some have forgot the rules apply to EVERYONE

Thread done