Nice quiet cup of tea, or so I thought !

[Teresa]

I know this is a simple little story but sometimes it does us good to live it and share it with others.

Last night was our monthly social meeting, the hotel we use now is much larger and more accommodating so I thought I would get ready early and see if I could meet up with other members for afternoon tea.

The meeting room was empty when I arrived so I made my way back to the bar and asked for a pot of tea , there were a few people seated but not busy . The waiter carried the tea tray to the softer seated area around the fireplace and I settled down on a sofa . I was wearing a fitted b/w spotted skirt a fitted short sleeved white blouse in a crinkle material, my favourite Next jacket and 3.5 " black heels . As I was facing the fireplace I had my back to the room quietly enjoying my drink ,vaguely aware that the noise level was gradually increasing behind me . As the time neared for the meeting I picked up my jacket and black handbag , carefully and as gracefully as possible stood up in my heels and turned to find the room was full. There was a cross section of elderly couples, families and younger ones having a drink and a bar meal possibly after using the leisure facilities . I wouldn't say I was overdressed , I intentionally kept it blendable but even so I appeared to be the only one wearing the same size of heels.

In that moment I thought about the threads talking about the correct walk. The bartender has always greeted us with a lovely smile, he stood behind the bar at the other end of the room so I gave him a look and a smile, his broaden even wider so I just thought go for it. As I glanced around people did look but nothing out of the ordinary , my heart wasn't pounding , it did feel good just doing normal things dressed .

Later that evening I had to use the Ladies toilets as the disabled ones I use as a compromise were out of use.I did get into a conversation with a GG and a pregnant lady gave me a lovely smile.

One question I did wonder about is why was the seat left up in the cubicle when I entered ?

[Jenniferpl]

You go girl.

Intriguing regarding the restroom.

[ChristinaK]

Hmmm, good question about the toilet seat. Maybe someone cleaned the toilet and left the seat up. When I'm in the Ladies Room, I always act like a lady and sit. I certainly don't want the other ladies hearing me pee!

Sounds like that's a nice bar you were in. We don't have many quaint and cozy places like that on this side of the pond, especially in California.

Like many of us, you just try your hardest to fit in. I laugh because your outfit sounds elegant and tasteful. 30 years ago you wouldn't have been overdressed at all! I tend to dress a little nicer than most women today and although it might make me a little more conspicuous, at least I'm classy conspicuous and not trashy conspicuous!

Best wishes on your new life Teresa. I've been divorced twice and it's not easy even if it was you that split the sheets.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

...and see if I could meet up with other members for afternoon tea.

And is there honey still for tea?

[Teresa]

Christina,
Thanks for your last words of of encouragement, I'm going to need them .

As for the outfit, I had to smile with your elegant comment because it didn't come at a price , the skirt has a French label and was part of a selection of clothes sent to me from my counsellor, I thought a white ruffle blouse would work with it but the nice easycare crinkle one set me back about $3.00, my Next jacket was about $15.00 and the shoes were a swap with Carole because her black patent were too tight and mine were a size too big.

My theory about the seat is ladies tend to use toilet tissue to wipe their nose, so they lift the lid to dispose of it and don't put the lid down, OK it could have been one of our members who hasn't lost some bad habits even when dressed.

Nikki,
I'm not sure what you're implying with the honey comment, knowing your sense of humour it's not what I think, but if it is then no I can't afford to put weight on !

[Bobbi46]

Teresa,
next time you find a seat up unscrew the whole thing and take it with you that will solve the problem LOL!!

[Aunt Kelly]

One question I did wonder about is why was the seat left up in the cubicle when I entered ?
Funny you should ask - I had that same question when I used the ladies room last time I was out. My guess is that it has to do with "hovering".
BTW, your cup may not have been so quiet, but it sounds like it was still quite nice. :)

Hugs,


Kelly

[Helen_Highwater]

As I glanced around people did look but nothing out of the ordinary , my heart wasn't pounding , it did feel good just doing normal things dressed .

Teresa,

Funny how life's little surprises, and people, creep up on us. The fact your heart wasn't pounding is I feel a measure of the confidence you've now found. And yes I know what you mean about it feeling good just doing normal things. No guilt or shame. No skulking, just being you.



Later that evening I had to use the Ladies toilets as the disabled ones I use as a compromise were out of use.I did get into a conversation with a GG and a pregnant lady gave me a lovely smile.

I've had one or two of those smiles and I've come to the conclusion it's their way of saying, "Well done you. I know you're a man but I don't care".

[Shelly Preston]

Teresa I think you just entered the world of normal. Yes people look but they always do when someone gets up, even if its only a quick glance.
I am sure all they saw was a lovely lady.

It can be a shock to the system when ladies start a conversation with you. Over time you will get used to this happening. I have never started one, but I have had more than I ever thought talk to me.

As for the toilet seat, cleaning was my first thought as cleaners normally leave the seat up.

[Nikki A.]

As someone else said welcome to the world of normal. As far as being overdressed, it doesn't seem to be too over the top. If you were in the dining room rather than the bar your outfit would have been quite appropriate.
As for myself, whenever I am deciding what to wear, I consider what I am doing, the weather and where I am going. Then I try to wear something that blends in but at the higher end of the scale. I want to be considered classy but not overdressed and definitely not trashy. Let them think "He may be a guy, but she does dress nice"

[carhill2mn]

I agree with Christina, 30 yrs. ago you would have blended in just fine. Now it is unusual to be nicely dressed when going to dinner, church or any place else. However, I would rather be slightly over-dressed than be dressed as the current majority.

Keep up the good work!

[Teresa]

Helen,
Many thanks for your comments, I'm sure you're right with the knowing female smiles but what do I make of the full smiles from the bartender ?

Shelly I'm beginning to think you're right with the looks , even the previous time when I wore a strapless dress and walked from my room through the main hotel to get to the meeting room only raised some pleasant smiles. I must admit I'm never stuck for conversation no matter who it is with, but I guess you gathered that from the amount I have to say on the forum.

The question of the seat is still open as to cleaners entered when I was washing my hands, I'm not sure what they did clean but they both gave me lovely smiles.

Carole,
Many thanks for your kind comment , I consider it a compliment coming from you .

[Nikkilovesdresses]

The words form the last line of a poem, The Old Vicarage, Grantchester, by Rupert Brooke. He wrote it in Berlin, apparently homesick for Edwardian Britain. Your mention of afternoon tea resonates deeply with any Englishman, crossdressed or otherwise, who finds himself living abroad.

God save the Queen.

[Teresa]

Nikki,
Nice thought, thanks for that.

Oh I forgot to mention I do like crumpets with my tea in the winter months ! I wonder what thoughts you have on that ??

[Alice Torn]

Carhill. I Totally agree! We can be different in a classy way.

[Lana Mae]

It sounds like a most delightful time! I would of course substitute coffee for tea but that is hereditary as my great grand parents who came from your wonderful country drank coffee and not tea! (do not know why) I did see a GG one day in 3.5 to 4 inch going to Walmart! Seat up-I know in the military they require the seat up and say it is saluting! LOL Do not know if that applies to female military! Hugs Lana Mae

[Dana44]

When we were at the Restaurant in Vegas. I went the ladies restroom and there were many crossdressers in there and I was in line behind one lady. Had a nice talk with her and she was very nice. There was line behind us and I made sure that she got into a stall to do here stuff and she thanked me. not sure about the lid being up Never had seen one when i was in the ladies room. Perhaps another CD was in there and stood. LOL

[Julogden]

A great story and experience. :)

Reminds me of the time I showed up at a dance club in Chicago for their monthly drag night and it turned out that I had my dates mixed up. It was country 2-step dance night. The club was a mixed gay-straight club, and it turned out to be an interesting experience as well as a boost to my confidence. :)

[GeorgeA]

I agree with Christina, 30 yrs. ago you would have blended in just fine. Now it is unusual to be nicely dressed when going to dinner, church or any place else. However, I would rather be slightly over-dressed than be dressed as the current majority.

Keep up the good work!

I wholeheartedly agree with your comments. That majority simply shows lack of respect for others.

[docrobbysherry]

On reading your post, Teresa, I imagined the look on any barkeep's face in the USA if they were asked for a "pot of tea"!:devil:

[Teresa]

Sherry,
Sad to say that too many in the UK will now reluctantly dump a tea bag in a mug of hot water, and point you towards the area where the UHT milk is available .

There really isn't anything nicer than sitting down to afternoon tea made in the correct way with a spare pot of hot water and possibly scones with jam and cream. Nikki is right there are some things an Englishmen /Women would miss and afternoon tea is high on the list .

I thought I should add a footnote to this thread, while I called it a simple story, I did think twice about the possibility of putting myself in this situation. My thread in Loved Ones section talks about the possibility of my marriage separation , my intentions are to move a few miles away and dress more or less full time . If I was TS for certain then this little story could be part of everyday life, so I feel I must take the opportunities when I can to become accustomed to dressing openly and being seen by the general public . Carole mentioned about being slightly overdressed , maybe she was right , I felt it was OK for the meeting ( sorry there aren't any pictures this time , ) but it's something I have to learn . I never have been one to slop about in jeans and a Tshirt so I'm dressing as my male equivalent I guess.

[Ineke Vashon]

So, Teresa, what is the "correct" way to make tea, British style? On my last visit to the UK years ago I was at a small railroad station on the south coast, I asked an attendant for a cup of tea. She half filled a cup with milk, added tea and said: "there you go, Guv." I admit to being a wee bit surprised :eek:

Ineke

[Shelly Preston]

Teresa, Being over dressed or not is a fine line.

Again this all depends on where you are going. Most will say you just need to keep it to a minimum when grocery shopping.
However I have seen women very well dressed popping in for a few items.

The biggest thing is still confidence no matter how you are dressed.

[leannejacobs]

Nice story, regards the toilet seat, I think it's an easy assumption that someone has had to use the toilet brush and as you do, or as I do, I always lift the seat so as not to drip water on it off the brush, sounds plausible.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

I do like crumpets with my tea in the winter months !

We order them from https://www.britishcornershop.co.uk and they have ginger beer.

[Teresa]

Ineke,
If the mods get hold of this I don't know what section it will fit in with !

OK Making a decent cup of tea, cups not mugs, a tea pot ,jug of milk and in some nice tea shops a second pot of hot water to top the tea pot up with. You must warm the teapot first and pour the hot water over the tea ( some prefer tea leaves to teabags , they say it makes better tasting tea, ) let it brew again some like it different strengths, then pour it into the tea cup. There is a difference of opinion whether you put the milk in first or after, some say it cools the tea too quickly and spoils the taste , some countries also frown on milk at all and say it's more correct to drink it without.

If I'm in a hot country sometimes Earl Grey is very refreshing taken with lemon and not milk, and a large slice of coffee and walnut cake .

The way you described it being served is the greasy spoon variety , worse still is a tea bag dumped in a mug of hot water usually with no means of dragging it out before the tea is stewed .

One detail I forgot was don't forget to stick your little finger out when drinking from your fine bone china cup !!!

Shelly,
The first time I saw a CDer was in a small grocery store in Hawkeshead in the Lake District, she was smartly dressed in a tea dress and heeled wedges, yes she did stand out but more so for looking agitated and nervous.
As you say a confident smile goes a long way even if you are in panic mode inside !

Nikki,
I did think you might make a humorous comment about hot crumpets but you didn't take the bait !!

As matter of interest , do they make crumpets in the US ? Obviously they don't in France .

[AngelaYVR]

There is absolute and relative overdressed. Looking smart and elegant while everyone else is in denim is relative and is perfectly acceptable, I call it flying the flag. Absolute is wearing a style suitable for a more formal occasion, I'm quite certain everyone here knows the difference.

During the day I wear skirts and tops, almost always with a belt and often with a small scarf for colour/contrast/finishing touch. Always heels (heels and scarves are my top vices!) It's leagues beyond what most are wearing but is appropriate. As my mum would say, I always look "finished" and I wouldn't have it any other way. I did meet a woman yesterday who also dressed in a similar classic retro way (we laughed as we caught each other scanning our outfits), we exchanged info and will meet up for [properly made] tea at some point.

[Helen_Highwater]

Sherry,
Sad to say that too many in the UK will now reluctantly dump a tea bag in a mug of hot water, and point you towards the area where the UHT milk is available .

UHT = Ultra Horrible Taste.

[docrobbysherry]

U nearly described a Devonshire Tea, Teresa. I first experienced one in London back in the day. Since then I've enjoyed many more in Australia, where they r quite common. Love the clotted, unsweetened cream and prefer mine with Earl Grey. Which I have every Sunday morning at home. (Yes, already had mine today). Makes my Sundays just a little bit special!:drink:

[Stephanie47]

I have noticed the unfortunate tendency for men and women NOT to "dress up" for social events. There are different levels of "dressing up." Rather than jeans and a tee shirt and man may wear a shirt with a collar and slacks and shined shoes. Maybe there's no need for a three piece suit. A woman may wear a day dress rather than an evening gown. Maybe, it's just a sign of the times. As a man who enjoys wearing women's clothing my preference is to always wear a dress. No pants for me at all.

If others do not dress up, so be it. Teresa should wear what she feels comfortable wearing. If I wasn't a cross dresser I'd prefer seeing a cross dresser who was seriously acting the part.

As a side bar the best place and time for me to see woman dressed nicely is at Costco right after Sunday church services. The place is loaded with families. Still in my area women who attend certain church denominations still ALWAYS wear a dress and heels.

[Teresa]

Sherry,
I knew there was a little Anglo Saxon in you, too many Devon cream teas and you'd need some larger outfits !

Next month I will be doing the same thing all being well, my outfit will be a Jaeger cream skirt with a short sleeved cream blouse in a lightweight voile material and a cream jacket with beige heels, OK I promise a picture if all goes to plan, yes Stephanie they are lovely to wear and I feel comfortable in them.

[Helena]

Hi Teresa,

It was lovely to see you and the other ladies again, and like you I had to use the Ladies because my normal compromise, the Disabled, wasn't available.

On the lid question, i would plump for one of our members not bothering?

Confidence does go along way, and as you say with your life change coming everything will have to normalise. I know a couple of years ago, having to negotiate a crowded bar would have made me very anxious. Still have small wobbles but having been out and about in pubs, restaurants, cinema, theatres, shopping have that it is ok.

Having not seen the other bar customers i can't comment about being overdressed, but thought your outfit was just right, and as always very well put together. We should have offered to take your picture.

Nikki - Your quotation instantly made me think of the Peter Sellars piece "Balham, gateway to the south", which uses the line.

[Ineke Vashon]

Ineke,

One detail I forgot was don't forget to stick your little finger out when drinking from your fine bone china cup !!!



I'll have to remember to do that again. After all, we strive to emulate the sophisticated ladies. Pinky out while in pink fog.:battingeyelashes:

Ineke

[Becky Blue]

Thanks for sharing that nice story Teresa, another person having an underwhelming brush with the the general population... next time you may well walk up to some of the people and start chatting. Also great to hear about another happy ladies room story!! Sighhh those GG's they ALWAYS leave the seat up lol

[Teresa]

Helena,
Many thanks for those comments it was nice to meet up again and chat to you and your lovely partner . As you know I'm on a limited budget which is one promise I made to my wife and intended to keep so my outfits don't cost very much. The fact is I wondered if the skirt and blouse would look good enough compared with the outfits other members were wearing .

Next time I may ask if I can have tea served in the library area , if you can make it maybe you'd like to join me .