Hesitant to Shave Face

[Brie84]

While I enjoy wearing dresses, I find that I enjoy the way that I look a lot more when I do the total package including breast forms, wig and makeup. I've gotten better about applying makeup but still have a ways to go.

The problem for me is that I'm not clean shaven; I have not been clean shaven since college (15 years ago). I don't have a whole lot of of facial hair (goatee and a thin beard) but enough where people would notice a difference if it wasn't there. Quite frankly, I'm nervous about how I'll look (even in guy mode) with no facial hair and I'm scared I won't like it. I do think that my guy look is attractive to women my age and I try to keep it up in case I do meet someone randomly so I don't want to get rid of it. Also, I'm worried about what coworkers will say when they see me clean shaven for the first time and my family as well (they live close by and I'm worried they'll think something is up).

This morning, I did a glam session in my apartment and for the first time, I was ecstatic about my look. The makeup looked better and I felt prettier than I ever had before. The pictures I took earlier today really have me excited and in my mind I'm dying to see what my look will be with a clean face and full makeup. But my insecurities about what others will think (and how I think I'll look) gives me pause on doing the shave.

I'm sure others have dealt with the same thing. How did you deal with it? Did family and coworkers notice and say something?

~ Brie

[Ariana225]

I am in the same dilemma. I know I'd look way different without facial hair. My wife loves it and I love it in guy mode. I'll probably always be a miad with as far as I can go without shaving it off. Maybe one day when I get older.

[Krea]

Why not just go for the clean shaven look and see how you think it goes with your desired image.
Chances are no one will comment either way. I vary between rough & smooth regularly and no one pays any attention.
In any case it will very quickly grow back if you want it again.

[Teresa]

Brie,
This question often arises , sorry but makeup and facial don't do it for me, to me it's still a contradiction ! Why waste money on makeup when you can't apply it correctly because you have facial hair ?

I have never had facial hair and do need to shave twice in a day if I'm going out dressed for the evening .

I have to admit I'm biased on this subject, my father had a beard which he hid behind, he was an overbearing bully, I can't help relating the two so I really don't like beards .

I can't understand the comment of being afraid to shave facial hair off, it's your body you have the right .

[JocelynJames]

I was the same until I came out to my wife 6 years ago. Usually shaved maybe once a week but sometimes went a month. When I came out I decided i needed a change. I think I've missed 3 days since then. Nobody ever questioned it and I am often told I look younger than I am. Having the beard does create a difference so when you do shave and go out en femme, no one will recognize you.

[Crystal 42]

I'm with Teresa on this because using the makeup is a waste when you have facial hair and the good stuff isn't cheap at all. It's entirely your choice to make of course. However if getting rid of the beard is going to lead to questions the best thing to say is "It made me look too old and I felt it was time for change".

[RADER]

Brie:
I have had a Mustache for over 45 years, And like you, I am afraid to shave it off.
Everybody knows me, and my Mustache, it is my trade mark. I found a face mask with a wig
like some others wear on the forum. But to dress up, put on the mask and go out?????
I do not think so.
So I guess I will remain house bound, and just enjoy my dressing. I do not think I could pass
in a million years, I am built like a lumber jack; 6'2" and 350 lbs. Big arms and hands; worked
construction all my life and I have the worn out body to prove it.
But I am wearing a dress and enjoying my Sunday.
rader

[Micki_Finn]

What can it hurt to do it once? Worst case scenario, you don't like it and let the beard grow in. If your coworkers are too nosy just tell them it got too hot and itchy for the summer, or you were trimming and messed up yourgoatee and decided to shave and start over or something.

[JenniferMBlack]

This is one thing where poeple actually noticed. When I shaved my goatee off but no negative comments and no one thinking oh he is trying to look more feminine. A lot of poeple where like why do you look so different, but they only knew me with a goatee. If anyone asks just say you wanted to try something different thats all the explanation they will need.

[Brie84]

I appreciate everyone's feedback so far! :o I think it's more of just worrying about what other people would think. In my short time here, I've learned that you just have to do what you want to do and not worry about anyone else. I do agree that I should at least try it one time; that way at least I know and I won't have the back and forth. And at the worst, it's three weeks of looking much younger :o.
And yes, it's definitely crazy to put makeup on around the facial hair. You notice the makeup but it does contradict.

At first, I was strictly going to be a private CD, never leaving home but I've gathered courage to try and go out totally en femme. To do that I would have to go clean shaven. The more I think about it, the more excited I get. :) I marvel at everyone's before and after pics, so I'm excited to try one for myself.

[Stacy Darling]

You have one life Brie!

You do not have to shave to wear your makeup, I will trim around my mouth so that my lippy is clear and shave from my eyebrows to my upper jawline so to leave enough room to blend some colour. Saying that, I would rather be clean shaven!

Just chop it!
Stacy!

[ronda]

Brie the one thing about hair is it will grow back just because you shaved doesn't mean something's up you just wanted a different look and if you don't like it in a week it will be back

[Leelou]

Well, Brie, it sounds like you're leaning towards trying it. So I'd encourage you to go for it. You say you're excited about the thought of going out totally enfemme and you realize you'd prefer to be shaven if you get there, and I agree.

And if you want to do a before and after session, you could do your before pic with the facial hair if you'd like. Then shave and take your after shots for maximum effect. Lots of ladies here do that as I'm sure you've noticed. As others have mentioned, you can grow it back any time you want.

Good luck and thanks for posting!

[Teresa]

Brie,
It's more than a even bet you won't grow the hair back !

To put makeup on a clean shaven, moisturised face and then top it off with your wig, you will probably be knocked out by the difference , the guy really does disappear . If you look more feminine so what does it matter, you will feel great inside .

[nvlady]

Last time I shaved off my beard only one person asked me why I shaved it off. I told him "I felt like it".
Nothing else was ever said.

[Micki_Finn]

I think that there is a tendency, when you're so used to hiding, to kind of become paranoid about letting slip "tells" that everything starts to seem like a giveaway. Just gotta step back and realize that men shave all the time and that changing facial hair is perfectly normal.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Brie:hugs:, You only have to impress yourself, If it works for you then just do it...:daydreaming:...

[Majella St Gerard]

It's no one's business why you shave facial hair off, do you really believe people will think you have ulterior motives for shaving? OMG he must be a transvestite why else would he shave. Everyone is so paranoid. Hair grows back. If you're that concerned just tell people that you wanted to see what it looks like.

[Tracii G]

Brie whats the worst that can happen somebody might say hey you shaved ?
Its your face so you can do what you want with it.
I'm going to be honest here so don't get mad OK?
You said people will think whats up? Um sorry honey its you that has the problem with shaving it off nobody else cares what you do with your facial hair.
If you think it will tip people off to the fact you crossdress well that just stupid. Think about how silly that notion sounds.
It could be you are used to having it and don't want to shave it off.
This is a case of you wanting to have your cake and eat it to.
Just a little thing I have noticed among my gay male friends 85% have thin beards and soul patches or a week worth of 5o'clock shadows ewwwww.
So if you are afraid your friends will think you are gay for shaving it just remember what I said in the above sentence.
Beards are the hot item on gay guys right now.

[Robertacd]

You do know it will grow back, right?

I had a goatee back in the 90's and it was hard to get rid of it. But I did it after coming out to my wife just so I could look better dressed up. Everyone said it made me look younger after it was gone, nothing wrong with that.

[natalie edwards]

No one will question it and if they do a simple answer is "i screwed up trimming and got pissed and shaved it all off!" Then go a few days without shaving as if maybe you're growing it back and then shave again.
Years ago only one person commented on me shaving my mustache. My answer was it was turning grayer than my hair, which it was. That person told me to dye it! I just laughed it off like yeah that's not going to happen.

[Brie84]

Wow, I love all of the feedback and the tough love as well. I'm not worried that being clean shaven would be a tip that I dress, I think I worry myself into thinking that being clean shaven would just draw more attention to myself because I haven't been without facial hair and it would look different. But it is very silly to let that hold me up. Crossdressing aside, I think I've learned a valuable lesson as well and not to overthink it and just do what makes me happy and not worry what other people think. I appreciate everyone keeping it real with me!

[Tracii G]

If its any consolation I had facial hair from 17 until I was 52 and the only reaction was hey you don't look like a dirty scroungy outlaw biker anymore or wow you look 10 years younger.
Here I was 27 or so a dirty 1%er outlaw. Its fuzzy sorry its an old polaroid pic

[Tina June]

I hear you - shaving off a beard you have had for years at first seems like a radical change, but consider that many men do not maintain facial hair (I can't quote a percentage!) so being clean shaven as a man is not unusual at all. You can always say that it is easier just to keep it clean shaven than to trim your goatee every day.
My personal experience is that only a few comments for a few days, then... Nobody will care that your face is smooth!

[HollyGreene]

I had a similar goatee and thin beard for 25 years and decided to shave it off. A few comments from family and colleagues, but they soon got used to it. If you really want to get rid of it, do it. You can always grow it back if you change your mind.

[AlanaG]

It all depends on what you want. You obviously can't have it both ways. I wore a goatee and mustache for many years, and I found that I really wanted to see what I would look like with full makeup and wig. So the hair on my face had to go. I really doubt that I'll ever grow it back.

[Dana44]

Oh wow I had a fu man chu and it looked pretty good. When I shaved it off, Nobody said anything at all to me. I keep my face shaved now and we just look younger with out a beard.

[Lana Mae]

I am clean shaven. I had a mustache and a beard at different times in my life! I shaved it all off once and my children did not know who I was! It has been off ever since! Hugs Lana Mae

[TrishaTX]

I got to shaving my legs and thought some of the same things...believe me if you do it...you will be very happy! If not you can grow it back.

[DIANEF]

I've never liked facial hair, though I did make a half hearted attempt at a thin mustache in my late teens, to look, so I thought, 'cool' It didn't last long.

[Tracy Irving]

Once my beard started getting some lighter patches it was time to shave a lot closer and a little more often.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I've always had a heavy beard. When I was 13, my mustache, although pretty thin, was visible enough in pictures that the bsrber trimmed it off.

Junior summer in High School, I grew a pretty respectable full beard over the summer. But, I shaved it off before school started. My deal with Mom was that I had to be clean shaven for senior pictures. It wouldn't have mattered anyway because facial hair was a violation of the dress code.

After I graduated college, I grew a full beard before I met the girl who would become my wife. I had a full beard, goatee, or mustache for the first 30 or so years that I knew her. She and my brother convinced me to shave it off. My excuse for having a beard was that it made me look older (in the good kind of way). By the time I shaved it off, it was salt and pepper in color, and made me look older in the bad kind of way. My biggest fear was that by shaving it off, it would unblock the last barrier to looking pretty, and that happened.

So, shave it off. Say it got too itchy, too hot in summer, was a nuisance working out, took too long to trim neatly or made you look older. And then, don't look back. If you want some proof, look at my profile pic (not the bugs bunny avatar).

[Stephanie_V]

I had a beard or goatee since I got out of the military in 93. People, especially my parents, got use to it. Beginning of this year I decided I wanted to try makeup, so the goatee had to go. My folks were a bit surprised, but hey it's my face :)
If you want to shave it, go for it. A simple 'I wanted a change' is a truthful and accurate answer.

[Michelle55]

I started shaving every week day for my after college real full-time job and every day at work I looked like I had the measles. I continued that for about a year and a half. I tried many different razors and shave creams available at the time, but always had red bumps all over my neck.

Many guys at work had a mustache and it was apparently OK to have facial hair but not a few days beard growth, so I grew a full beard.

I had that for about 22 years and then with new shave creams and better razors and a suggestion (here I think) to shave immediately after getting out of a hot shower, I found I could be clean shaven after all if I wanted.

The general consensus was I looked much younger clean shaven and should have done it long before. I don't recall any negative comments and probably the most common questions was if I planned to grow it back in the winter.

Recently I finished hair removal for my face using IPL and RF (Intense Pulsed Light and Radio Frequency). The hair is all very light in color (no beard shadow) and the hair shaft is finer. I still have to shave, but the growth rate is half or less than it was before.

[jennifer0918]

I can never understand why I get so much crap at work,when I shave. But it only last for a couple days and then no one notices. My wife hates it don't know why,its my face it's my lip so let it be. My advice to you just do it people will always talk .

[alwayshave]

Brie, Just shave, you may be happy with the result. You can always grow it back.

[Ressie]

Brie, everything was fine with your beard until you starting hanging around here. :) Dressing in public is the goal with most CDs/TGs on this site. And then there are some that dress in public with facial hair intact.

What one does with their facial growth is up to them. If you want to keep it, don't let others influence you to shave. Personally, I never had the goal to dress in public. But I didn't like getting dressed up and seeing a bearded lady in the mirror. So, I've kept my facial hair shaved off since 2005. And when anyone asked my why, I usually told them the gray hair makes me look old. But, its' NOYB!

[Fiona123]

I'm 62. Up until new years day I had a mustache since 1978 and goatee beard since 1995. I shaved it all off new years day after realizing how much I hated facial hair. I'm glad I did. Next ... Lipstick!

[Krisi]

Shaving your arms and legs may arouse suspicion, but being clean shaven (the face) is not unusual for men. Probably more men are clean shaven than have beards or mustaches. You don't need an excuse to shave your face, you can just do it. In most cases, just shaving will make you look younger.

Crossdressing is not something that normal people think about on a daily basis. Your friends and co workers won't think you shaved because you started crossdressing.

[nvlady]

A bald guy I worked with came in one day wearing a toupee. He looked different for about two days, then he looked normal.

[NicoleScott]

Brie, Why waste money on makeup when you can't apply it correctly because you have facial hair ?


Teresa, some guys put on a dress, no makeup, no wig, no stockings or shoes. They just like to wear a dress.
I had facial hair for a couple years (perhaps to deny my crossdressing?) and I liked to make up my eyes and put on lipstick, in private. If you have a "thing" for something, whether a dress, shoes, or makeup, you just do it.

My observation is that women change on a whim: clothing style, hair color, length, or style, and makeup. Guys seem to be more resistant to change. I was, but once I shaved off all the facial hair, my fears were unfounded. When asked why, I said it itched and starting to turn gray. A lie, of course - and the best one ever. No way I could achieve the look I desired with facial hair.

A suggestion for Brie: if you think the change is too great by removing it in one fell swoop, do it gradually. Trim it some, then a few days or a week later, trim it a little closer, in time getting to a scruffy look, then clean-shaven. No sudden changes, and you'll be armed with some valid excuses if needed.

Once you do it, all at once or gradually, you'll be glad.

For me, no regerts (sorry, I'm eating a Milky Way).

[Sara Jessica]

I too am hesitant to shave my face. I actually hate it, scraping a razor to cut down the trees, only to leave their stumps. I much prefer tweezing.

[Pat]

Honestly, if you decide to keep the beard, you won't be the only one on this site. Do what makes you feel good. There are no duties or responsibilities to being a crossdresser. There's nothing you SHOULD do or MUST do -- there's only what you choose to do. Don't worry about it -- things will change, if they ever do, when you want them to change. Concentrate on being happy. ;)

[OCCarly]

If you are really worried about the beard, shave it off the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. Then if you regret it, you will have five days' growth by the time you go back to work on Monday. And if you decide to stay clean and need a good cover story, just tell people you got drunk on Thanksgiving or you shaved it off on Black Friday on a bet or a dare, and you decided you liked it.

[Stephanie Nicole]

I felt the same way about shaving my goatee and moustache, mine was actually pretty thick and I had it for over 25 years, but 2 weeks ago the stars must have aligned and someone must have wanted me to shave it, because while I was trimming my moustache one morning I picked that exact time to have an allergy attack. needless to say one good sneeze while I was trimming made the decision for me as I shaved a line completely across my moustache, with no way of repairing it I had to shave it and actually most people said I look younger and better without it so 2 weeks later I still have not let it begin to grow back yet.

[Paige Dehart]

Brie, I loved my SO's goatee but it was in the way and had to go. Yes I do miss it but it wasn't the goatee I fell in love with. Bottom line is if you want to progress sometimes you have to get rid of things. Don't worry about what others may or may not think worry about what makes you happy.

[docrobbysherry]

I've never shaved any part of my body except my face. And, I never will I can't believe so many waste time and energy on it. Unless it's some kind of fetish? :heehee:

I rarely shave off my beard and stash. Which I'm wearing in my avatar pic!:daydreaming:

[Becky Blue]

Brie, why will shaving off your facial hair cause anyone to question anything? I would estimate that 70% of guys are clean shaven.. no one questions them. Yes you have had facial hair for years but as they say in the classics a change is as good as a holiday, just tell anyone that asks that you felt like you needed a change.

[DIANEF]

I've never shaved any part of my body except my face. And, I never will I can't believe so many waste time and energy on it. :

With respect Doc, most of us don't cover our hair with a suit and mask..

[Eva Skarlatova]

I really don't understand your concerns. You talk about shaving as if it is equal to burning! If you shave your face you will need no more than a few weeks to get to the starting point or similar. If you don't do that you will never know the benefits. Go for it! :thumbsup:

[Gwyneth]

I've had some sort of facial hair since my early 20's. Goatee some summers, but full beard even through most hot summers. Most had only seen me fully shaven if they saw an old picture of me. I shaved fully just a few weeks ago. One of my "baby steps". It amazing out out of practice I am. My family noticed right away. Some friends haven't commented yet. At work, I've been in my building for over 7 years. None of them have seen me clean shaven. So far only 3 people have noticed. Out of 100. Maybe you're not a wallflower like me, but as many have said, just do it and see what happens. I do love the cool breezes we've had this summer on my naked face! When winter comes, who knows what I'll do.

[Shelly Lynn]

I had facial hair for years when I was younger I finally shaved when I was in my forties I have not had one regret I feel so much more like the girl I am but it was a hard choice.

[Lucy23]

There is no need to worry that people would jump to conclusions as to why you are clean shaven. You can always come up with an excuse, as others have mentioned. Anyway, try and see for yourself if you like it.

On my part, I haven't been clean shaven since 2010 and have kept stubble or short boxed beard because I like to experiment with cuts (think of it in the way women approach their hair) and how it looks on me. But I think it is easier for me because I don't want to present myself as a woman in any way.