Through Her Eyes

[Teresa Amina]

Yesterday kwebb wrote about hitting a ceiling in CDing and along the way tugged at something in the very core of my being. She wrote that she often looks at women "Trying to imagine yourself inside...looking out of their eyes". I obsessed on this most of the day and woke up having to start a thread on this. It suits my own experience so profoundly I can't let it go. I often not only imagine how good those clothes of hers must feel but how good it must feel to Be her. Sure, I'm just a innocent young thing on this forum, and you all have had similar experiences, but let me hear your stories and thoughts on this.

p.s.-- A woman came into the store I work at the other day, good looking, middleage (like me), wearing some profound perfume that carried me into ecstasy. My thought/feeling/impression was "There I am!"

[GypsyKaren]

Hi Teresa

To me, trying to imagine or wish you're someone different than who you are will get you chasing your tail in a hurry, and you'll get nowhere fast. Mayhaps years ago I may have felt that way, but no more. I have learned to love and accept myself "as is", and I'm happy with being on that road.

Karen

[Sharon]

I agree with Karen. I often see women wearing clothing that I wish I could wear as well as they do, and I sometimes imagine myself in situations being totally accepted as a woman, but, all in all, I'm okay with who I am. There's room for improvement, but I just want to be me.

[TGMarla]

They're right, you know. But there are many of us who feel the same way you do. The trick is to not obsess over it. It just gets in the way. There's very little you can do about it, and a life lived obsessing over what you are not is a life that may never be fulfilled.

Sure, when I see a lovely woman all dressed up in something that I know I'd like to wear, with her beautiful hair done nicely, and with a distinctly feminine scent to her perfume, I often wonder what it would be like, too. I could get all dressed up and put on a little perfume, and go somewhere, I guess, but it would not be the same thing. She is living her existence like that. And I wonder about it just like many of us do. At one time in my life, I might have allowed this to bother me while I thought about it all day long, but now, I feel like "What's the point?" I'm not her. Perhaps next time around. Meanwhile, I can dress up and pretend now and then. I have better things to do than feel empty and bitter over something I have no control over. And I'm a lot happier now that I've learned to just let it slide.

[Marla GG]

She wrote that she often looks at women "Trying to imagine yourself inside...looking out of their eyes". I obsessed on this most of the day and woke up having to start a thread on this. It suits my own experience so profoundly I can't let it go. I often not only imagine how good those clothes of hers must feel but how good it must feel to Be her.

Hi Teresa,

I think trying to imagine yourself in someone else's place can be an eye-opening experience and an important part of building empathy with your fellow human beings. But if you are going to try to imagine what it might be like to be a woman, why stop at imagining how good her clothes must feel? Think about what her life might be like as a whole. If it is a woman you know, consider everything you know about her. What kind of job does she have and how much does it pay? Does she have kids to support and childcare to worry about? How about aging parents to take care of? If she is married, how does she get along with her husband? If she is single, how does she feel about that? What does she like to do in her leisure time (if she has any) and why? What is she proud of? What is she afraid of? What is important to her?

I am not necessarily saying it is harder to be a woman than a man. But it is different in so many, many ways beyond the way one's clothes feel. It is easy to look at anyone else -- male or female -- and think how much happier they must be than you are. In most cases, they aren't. It might not be possible to literally walk a mile in someone else's shoes, but if you are going to imagine it, then at least try to imagine all of it. You might be rewarded with some genuine insight.

On the other hand....where's the fun in that? Ha ha ha.

Love, Marla

[Teresa Amina]

Not really talking about living her life, just the sensual aspect of monentary existance and the sudden impact of an identification with someone.

[Bonnie D]

I still do it quite often but only for the few minutes I see her. I don't obsess about it I just enjoy the feeling it gives me. I can almost feel my body changing and my movements feminize. But then it stops and on I go.

As some of you are saying, hopefully in my next life.

Bonnie

[TGMarla]

Thinking further on this, and adding to what MarlaGG said, too, I think you're wanting to look at the world through her eyes...."be" her, as it were....with your persona, your being, in that body. But Marla is correct. The grass always seems to be greener on the other side of the fence. She no doubt has cares and worries of her own. Many women, even while we view them as beautiful in every way, are dissatisfied and unconfident in their own looks. Add the mortgage, kids, marital problems of her own (if any), and perhaps a lower paying job (maybe), and that grass starts looking like it might have a few weeds growing in it.

Many crossdressers accumulate a modecum of depression over the fact that they are not women. But it's far better to look at the blessings you have in your own life, and exploit them a bit to better your own happiness and contentment. Oh, gee, how nice it would be to be a woman! But let's hear you say that when you're having a rough period, your SO has dumped you, you've gained a few pounds and your clothes don't fit, and you wind up a single mom on a low income.

Things don't all come together just because you're a woman. Count your blessings.