Coming here to come out

[Rachael Leigh]

I've read many threads here about folks who came here to connect with like minded people or to just
know they are not alone in this part of themselves. So many say the courage they got from this place
to come out to others and or to just go out and enjoy being who they always knew they were but for
some reason could not take the next step

I came here for many of those reasons and I read many stories of how so many could not just sit at
home but needed to be out in the world. That struck a nerve for me as I too had been wanting to be out
explore the real world dressed and not feel as if it were wrong.
It took time but today I do just that I go out and just enjoy being a person who can walk out my door
and not worry what others think because they don't know me they don't know my story how I had suppressed this for so long.

It has come with some heartache as I'm now in a separated marriage and really need to work thru this
time over the coming months as to what do I really want.

So I just want to ask how has being here effected many of you did it make the difference in coming
out or did it just give you encouragement to maybe someday or maybe never
It's not an easy road but I knew deep down I had to do it
Blessings Rachael Leigh

[Nikki A.]

No doubt, this forum gave the courage to venture out. I now go out regularly, to church, shopping, restaurants and grocery shopping. I know at least one of my neighbors has seen me and so be it.

[Alice B]

Have eceived great courage from this site and have made some good friends

[alwayshave]

This site was responsible for my ability to venture beyond my closet. I spent most of my life thinking I was alone and somehow damaged. I know realize, while CDing maybe not be common, is at least something that enough likeminded people do, that I don't feel alone.

[Maria 60]

This site completed me, I never had a wig or make-up and didn't even think about it. Feeling more complete gave me confidence to go for a drive once in a while fully dressed, even though I never leave the car I find it being a huge risk but still small steps.
This site has made the world of difference to me and hope it does the same for others.

[CarlaWestin]

It was refreshing and empowering to see that, what was at time, an embarrassing personal proclivity, actually had an entire diverse community. The underlying theme of acceptance and normalcy that permeates this forum has inspired me to disclose my gender position to my wife and further understand that nothing in this world is just black and white.

[Aunt Kelly]

Rachel,
You've been a part of this community far longer than I have, so I know that you know what a help it has been to so many of us. The love and support shared here has literally saved lives, not to mention providing the validation for feelings that so many struggle with. It's not a substitute for professional counseling, but it can certainly be a catalyst to taking that important step, where fear or stigma has kept someone away.

As for me? My story isn't so dramatic. I've been more-or-less at peace with my nature for a long time. I've been going out almost as long, but it was through friends made here that I had the chance to go out with those and experience that love and support first hand, "in the real world". Sure, I've been to support group meetings (Northwest Gender Alliance and Tri-Ess), but isn't quite the same as just having dinner with friends, with no agenda other than to enjoy each other's company.

Wherever your path leads you, Rachel, you know that there are girls here who have been there before, some who will take you by the hand to guide you along it (or drag you, should the need arise), and still many more who will watch, and listen, and celebrate with you, or share your pain, as needs be.

Good luck with your next steps.

Hugs,


Kelly

[DIANEF]

Before I joined the forum I had gone as far as my garden, or dashed to the car on the driveway and back. Since I have been for many drives, not just at night, gone out dressed for walks several times, bought things openly for myself instead of 'for my wife' and gained confidence in doing things I never thought I could. I have given and received advice from other members through many PMs and found out how much there is beyond what was my own little world. As for coming out, the first people ever to see 'Diane' were those on this forum.

[ronda]

for me help know I was not the only one like myself and that I was not crazy an to come out to some that are very close to me

[ginapoodle]

Rachel,

My start with this forum was pretty choppy. Engaged, got frustrated, left. Then re-engaged and thanks to Aunt Kelly found a true break thru on who I am, really.
Rest of story: re-energizing Gina after 9 years dormant, much Spiritual work, several full story discussions with key friends face to face, makeup lessons, long talk with wife, acceptance (and more work there to come), shopping, practice, Houston GNO, and now....wow. There you go. July has been busy for me. This forum was key, and some very beautiful people.

[AllieSF]

I came to this site at the very beginning as Allie was, basically, born or came into being. I have been here ever since checking in multiple times during the day (geez - get a life!!). I don't post as much as I used to because there are many qualified replacements to do that for most threads nowadays. I came here initially to try to find some local friends to accompany me on my first outings and hopefully to become going out friends to share this new me and lifestyle with. I have read just about all new threads since joining, no particular focus, just whatever was new and responded to whatever was interesting. I have learned so much across the board from I like panties to I am a post op woman and now need to get on with my life. I have also accumulated a small group of very close friends from this site, plus a few more from my adventures out and about. I have never truly defined or identified as a certain "whatever". I am just me, who started crossdressing and matured and grew from there. I am now out to almost everyone with everyone dealing with it as best they can, including me. I am still moving down that path and am not really concerned if I ever reach the end. I am actually just practicing that which I tell everyone, "Enjoy the trip as much as the destination."

The direct answer to your question is that by being a long time very active member here, I have been able to be me without (so far) all the obstacles, grief and frustrations that so many have experienced. This site has helped me to develop my own tools, experiences and attitudes to successfully deal with these major changes. To be honest, I have no idea where I would be without this site, maybe still back at the beginning of the path.

[Sometimes Steffi]

One of the first times I went out, I met up with a girls I met here. She introduced me to a friend, and they introduced me to two friends, and they I was in a group, and then I went to Keystone and was in an even larger group.

But there were many times that needed advice, like what kind of dress forms to get, or where and how to shop. There were many other times that reading about someone stretching themselves gave me to courage also.

Now I try to pay it forward, and have inviting many girls here to join my group, and I have given others the courage to go out or go shopping, or to stretch their wings.

[Pat]

This site was key to me. I came here pretty confused about who I was and what options existed. Reading the info in the various forums on the site showed me how diverse a community we are and allowed me to differentiate myself by reading so many other people's stories and finding the ones that resonated with me. Then I could follow the folks who were like me to see if their answers were valid for me too. Along the way I found lots of pointers to technical information that helped me start to see the biological foundations of what I initially thought was just my unique personality quirk. It turns out I wasn't alone; I wasn't deranged; I wasn't making this up. I owe a huge debt to this site, which is why I hang around and prattle on -- basically acting like a fog horn -- hoping that people who are like me can get their bearings from me and folks who aren't like me can discard my truth while getting closer to their own. (I always say I've spent most of my life finding out what I'm NOT.)

Along the way I learn from the people who I am not like and learn to appreciate and value who they are. We don't all have to be alike -- it's better when we're not. There's no one answer that works for us all. And learning that is just as valuable as learning the answer that works for me. ;)

So, yeah, being here has affected me. In a big way and in a great way. I'm always trying to pay that back.

[docrobbysherry]

Yes, cd.com was my motivation to finally leave the closet. NOT because I enjoy being out dressed more than dressing at home in private. Because, I DON'T!:sad:

The reason I originally came out was to meet other dressers. Like Alice, above, and dozens of others that I chatted with here first and later met in person. And, it's the reason I keep going out. I haven't met a T girl dud yet!:hugs:

[SaraLin]

Well - I can't say that becoming a member has had all that much effect on me. I'd pretty much settled on who I am / what I am quite some time ago. But is sure is nice to know that I'm not alone in my life's path. To see all the love and support for each other offered in here is truly heart warming.

I'm still pretty new here and have had several mis-steps (if you will) right at the start. On the TS forum, I made a comment on my situation that was misinterpreted as an attack on others. This was FAR from my intent, and rather than ruffle feathers any more, I've opted out of posting in there any more. THEN, I posted something that crossed the line a little too far into a taboo subject (politics) and got promptly -and rightly- deleted. With such a rocky start, I almost bailed on this site. But I'm glad I didn't. It's a fantastic place and the world would be a darker place without it.

[Teresa]

Leigh ,
I could write pages but in one word, " YES !"

It could have happened on any of the forums but I'm grateful I joined this one, please excuse the pun but it's a no frills site !, WYSIWYG .

I wouldn't be in the situation now if Carole hadn't introduced herself and invited me along to her social group. I wouldn't have found my true identity, I wouldn't be so open and confident with the public, I wouldn't have made the new friends that can help me through my next stage.

In short the forum has introduced me to Teresa and given me a new and enjoyable life, I wish there was a little magic button somewhere so I could lose twenty years, but I'm happy with my look for my age , it could be far worse.

[Kate Simmons]

I was going out long before I ever came to the Forum. What the Forum does for me is shows me folks who have similar experiences expressing themselves and their feelings. I take it to heart and take most at their word. if I can help them be themselves in even a little way my efforts are not wasted and I also share experiences when needed. Mostly I tell others to just be themselves and enjoy it and when they do, that makes me happy. :battingeyelashes::)

[Krisi]

I have learned a lot from this forum, where to get boobs, butt, wig and shoes, etc. I've also learned some things about how to act like a woman. As for "coming out", except for my wife, I have not "come out" to the public as a crossdresser. This doesn't mean I haven't been out in public as a woman, it just means I don't dress as a woman in front of family, friends or neighbors.

[Heidi Stevens]

When I realized who I was, I went looking for sites that would help me to grow. I found the CD reddit link and CD.com sites and quickly discovered this site was more serious in helping me along. Like most of you, I too found friends quickly here, ones who wanted to truly help you. It allowed me to open up and grow. To those who were here before I came, thank you. Your help has allowed me to reach places I never thought I'd go. To those who came behind, every one of us has input you should look at and see if it kicks your can down the road.

[Crystal 42]

I spent many wasted years trying to deal with all my own problems in isolation. I had friends who I could never relate to, who I always had to put on a pretense with since I knew deep down they would never accept or understand me. When I finally found a way to accept myself I knew I couldn't keep on going the way I had been. Joining this forum and hearing about all of your experiences and feeling all of your pain, confusion and joy has been a massive comfort to me. Not to mention all of the very freely given advice to help those of us who struggle to find ourselves and our place in the world. I should have joined sooner.

[Marie-Jo]

I just joined this community and I have used a number of similar over the years as I have been transgender in different degrees over thel last 9 years. Recently I spent some time reading the transgender subreddits. They may have an intensity and nerve due to rather young participants but here I found more reflection, maturity which fit me better. It will maybe not affect my coming out that much. It is more of a confimation that we exist and to get the mutual confirmation that I find here. In Sweden we have a organization named FPES that is a driver for transgender rights. It is a PRIDE week here in Stockholm now and I am going to be informing people about trans-* during Thursday and Friday afternoon. This is my first time in that position, may meet people that I know that don't know about me as a trans woman. From communities like this I get the strength to face this, from all of you that tell that this is a right I have to express myself. In that sense places like this help in "coming out".

[Allisa]

How do I put thoughts into words, this site opened my eyes to a vast group of people who share and actually act on their instincts of gender and it's meaning. At one time long ago I would practice my deviation with others in a secretive world of clubs that were hidden from the public eye and I believe somewhat illegal. Then hidden away and yes denied for years on end and when I found this site I learned nothing is wrong with me and have grown into who I am and if I can help others through my experiences posted here than I feel a joy. I guess this site and it's members have given back to me the courage to be open and free to live my life as a being in a community of alternative lifestyles that hopefully one day will be a norm in this vast world we move through on our journey of discovery. I hope this makes sense.

[Tracii G]

I'm sure I would have gone out enfemme eventually but this site helped me so much is knowing what and what not to do.
It helped me to realize its OK to dress and enjoy life and not worry about what others think.
Invaluable site to me I love it.

[Rachael Leigh]

Wow, so many responses and I love it it tells me so much about you ladies and that this place does effect all of us.
We come from different parts of the globe but yet we have a bond one that many do not understand.
I'm finding as I deal with my personal issues that many Christians don't get it either. My being here has shown me so much
it helped me accept myself but more importantly it helped me love and accept others who I may have just turned up my nose to in the past.

I'm so glad we find this a place of comfort and one where we can come to encourage and love each other

[Lana Mae]

Allie, I am on here many, many times a day and need to get a life also! LOL I would have missed a lot without this site and its members! For one thing, I would not have pierced my ears! My stubborn self would have held to my oath, but you eroded that oath to a "Well it was before all this!" thinking and boom they got pierced! I would probably still be wearing just panties and have no idea what it was all about! This is the most wonderful site with some of the most wonderful people and a few who are not so wonderful but who are loved anyway in spite of themselves! Hugs Lana Mae

[Elizabeth G]

Being a member of this community has done wonders for me. My desire to dress had gone dormant for many years but then it came rushing back, except by then I was six years into a second marriage. Shortly thereafter I found this site. The site didn't help me to come out to my wife as she discovered my secret before I could tell her myself, but it has helped immensely in my working with my wife as we go forward. As for going out (as well as my femme presentation, self acceptance and countless other aspects of my crossdressing life) this site has been an invaluable source of encouragement and tips that have made my forays into the world not only possible but a whole lot of fun!

Elizabeth

Elizabeth

[Cheryl James]

Like many of us who grew up in the non-internet world thinking that no other person on Earth has ever done or, even, thought of wearing women's clothing (except women, of course), this site opened my eyes and helped reduce the everyday shame that I felt for "being this way". It did not happen overnight, but my shame and embarrassment receded as I read the contributions of the girls on here. I don't know whether this would have happened without this website. I have been all over the internet trying to learn more about me. This website is the best and it the best because of the majority of girls who have chosen to share themselves with others.

[Bobbi46]

I came to this site to search for answers to my many questions and was overwhelmed by the freely given advice, given with sincerity and thoughtfulness, it helped me greatly to both find out about myself but also the way to go forward.
yes no doubt about it this site gave me the courage to tell friends and acquaintances about the new me and gave me the opportunity to explain to them how and what makes me tick and most importantly why.
If I had not found this site I would have floundered around in the dark without any proper direction and not knowing anything apart. Apart from the most important thing and that is that we can tell just about everything about ourselves and know that it will stay within us all.
Comfort is another bonus, because if you are comfortable within yourself much can be achieved.

[Tahoegurl]

This site, and all your posts, have helped me not feel alone or different. From the Q&A to the conversation, and you success and failures have helped me in building the bridge with my wife so we are in a great place now. It is helpful to have people pioneer the trail so my path is a bit easier to travel.

[Jenny22]

Except for dressing in my mobile closet and driving, I'd have never gone any further, if I had not discovered this wonderful Forum. This led me to making several personal contacts with forum sisters, one of whom became a 'best friend', mentor, counselor, and a 'you can do it .. just own it' advocate.

She got me out with the normals several times which I would never have done without an experienced sister being with me. I've friended about 50 sisters on this forum. I would never have been able to do this if they hadn't given location info in their Introductions. Keep this in mind, ladies, if you want to meet others in your area. Its entirely OPTIONAL as to whether or not you wish to do so. I love this forum so much!

[StefaniLara]

For me, this was on avenue for me to come out, a place where I could find support when I needed it. Coming out is a difficult process, as is coming to accept who you are. I found that the support I found on her encouraged me on own journey.

[Julie Denier]

This site is a comforting reminder that I'm not alone. There are lots of wonderful people, from many different backgrounds and circumstances, from being fully out to, like me, having to explore this side of ourselves privately.

[Becky Blue]

Very interesting question Leigh, I first joined this site back in 2005 right when Becky emerged and I was trying to understand what was happening. The site was very helpful to read other people's stories and realise that one is not alone. Those days I did not really contribute as I did not feel I had a lot to offer. Like so many things in life I moved on and actually forgot I was once a member here. Re-finding this place now I am here for quite a few totally different reasons than back then. I now feel like I am able to contribute and help others the way so many people helped me along the journey. I also have met some wonderful people on here and find it really amazing to interact with like minded (and the opposite) people. Being able to be on here is another one of the many positives of being a T person and has helped me in my journey of understanding.

[Jenny22]

Except for dressing in my mobile closet and driving, I'd have never gone any further, if I had not discovered this wonderful Forum. This led me to making several personal contacts with forum sisters, one of whom became a 'best friend', mentor, counselor, and a 'you can do it .. just own it' advocate.

She got me out with the normals several times which I would never have done without an experienced sister being with me. I've friended about 50 sisters on this forum. I would never have been able to do this if they hadn't given location info in their Introductions. Keep this in mind, ladies, if you want to meet others in your area. Its entirely OPTIONAL as to whether or not you wish to do so. I love this forum so much!

[kimdl93]

Its been so long, couldn't quite remember. From the vantage point of more than 7 years, my recollections are probably unreliable. On the other hand, I can go back to see the first few texts and the evolution that followed.

In looking from that perspective I'd say I came here to acknowledge to myself that I was part of this unusual group.

[Jean 103]

My name Jean, came from needing a name for this site. Something I didn't put a lot of thought into at the time. By the time I realized my mistake it was to late. Now I live as Jean a transgender person. Sounds a little crazy without knowing the whole story.

[Dana44]

I came to this site to find answers. However, I noticed that many of of you were women in mind and spirit. Or just a crossdresser. But my gender fluid state was far different, But I then found answers and became a part here and many threads rang true But I have been going out for years before I joined. But defiantly it helps that many of you have gone out and to know that I was not alone..

[Joanne Curl]

This site is the reason my wife found out about Joanne. I had stupidly left a trail on the family computer and she followed it to here. I had decided before hand that I needed to tell her about this secret side of me but I hadn't found the right opportunity. She asked questions and I told her the truth- I'm a crossdresser and always will be one. I think she was most upset about my not letting her know before we married. I broke her trust and I don't think I'll ever get it back. She doesn't want anything to do with my crossdressing and said I had to choose- crossdressing or her. I told its not something I choose, it just is. That was 6 years ago. Our relationship will never be the same. I still come here though because its my only chance to be Joanne. She knows I do but never mentions it. She doesn't want to discuss my crossdressing and prefers to ignore it. Its a tough position to be in.

[Alice Torn]

Leigh, I don't think we all are like minded at all, except that we all have this unusual desire to dress up as women. But, i did come here from loneliness and feeling so odd, and, strange, and to see what others say, and do.