So, what have you been sold that resounds poorly now

[Lisa85]

I was going to share a message I picked up earlier from the media about roles of men and women where I made personality changes and now am thinking, or feeling, I was sold a bill of goods for someone else's advantage.

Instead, I would like to open it up. What have you heard about the role of men or women that made sense to you at first. But now you are questioning both the message and the impact.

[Kate Simmons]

Not sure what you mean but both men and women are capable of fulfilling either "role". What constitutes a "role" is really open to interpretation as so many single parents have proven over the years. I prefer to not discuss a role as much as I appreciate people for being themselves. That is what I personally consider. :battingeyelashes::)

[Robertacd]

My wife handles all our finances and does the taxes. Basically my wife is legal and finance, I am engineering and technology.

As for other traditional rolls, I do the laundry, and I enjoy it. The rest of the household chores like cooking and cleaning are shared.

[Ariana225]

Me and the wife share every "role" in the household. We are a team and get everything done together. I seen all the different roles growing up from leftover past generations and didn't want that in my relationship from a very early age.

[Micki_Finn]

The only "role" that is inherently for women is that of bearing children, and that's just biology. Are t we to a point in society where we get to choose our roles? (Of course there are cultural exceptions, but this is the goal right? Self-determination?)

[Dana44]

At six oclock in the morning, my girlfriend had to open the coffee top. MY fingers was wet and I could not get a grip on it. LOL She pulled the tab off and said. I will do the guy stuff and you do the girl stuff. I thought that was great.

[Jaylyn]

My wife still does work off and on for her old employer. I'm retired, so I have been doing some of the cooking, vacuuming, clothes washing and drying, and when she comes home from work when she's called in to substitute she will call and ask if she needs to pick up anything while she is still in town. I used to do that.
She also has taken over our taxes each year. I can't complain much because she does go with me to the farm and helps with the chores there.

[sometimes_miss]

Easy. And it's still going on.
When I was about 14, on the eve of the years when I was supposed to start dating, I asked the adult women why no one wanted to go out with me, what was wrong with me.
So, I listened. 'Girls want men who are nice to them'.
'They want someone sensitive; most boys completely dominate every conversation, and are self centered, so if you make yourself different, girls will appreciate that'.
'Most boys just do whatever they want, and don't care what a girl wants. Maybe be nice and let her decide what to do'.
Basically, they encouraged me to become a doormat. While girls complain about very assertive boys, those are exactly who they want to go out with. In the end, upon asking more women later in life, I found out the concept of being 'too nice'. Women don't want to make decisions. They want the guy to lead the way. Appear indecisive at your own risk.
And then, there was the 'just be yourself' nonsense. This isn't for men's benefit. It's because women don't want to be fooled into dating or, heaven forbid, marrying, a guy who isn't what she expects him to be. Women want to know exactly how much their prospective guy is worth, how much he makes, what kind of job he has, because they derive so much of their self identity as well as their income/assets from who and what their husband or boyfriend is. But what if yourself isn't what girls want? What then? Never change? Baloney. Being myself never got me anywhere. Changing myself was what worked. So much for that 'being yourself' nonsense.
And finally, the 'tell my your fantasies' line. Women DON'T want to hear OUR fantasies. What they're looking for when they ask this, is for you to tell them that your fantasies are the same as theirs. Which, of course, includes YOU being the knight on the white horse who falls so hopelessly and completely in love with her that you won't even look or ever think of any other woman. They want to hear that you dream of a romantic episode where THEY are the center of attention, the whole rose petals all over, indirect lighting, you spending a small fortune for them and them only.
That's what they want to hear. They do not want to know about your desire for a three way with their sister.

[Tracii G]

I gave up on women back in 2004 or so. Dating guys is soo much easier.

[Georgina]

I was led to believe, many years ago, that it was women's role to wear the nice clothes. Thank goodness I never bought into that.

[CynthiaD]

Regardless of what you say about male or female roles, (even if by some odd freak of nature it happens to be true) you're talking about averages. The variance between individuals is so great that the average doesn't mean anything. Trying to conform to someone else's idea of male and female roles is totally a no-win situation. You can't be anybody but yourself. So be yourself, and celebrate your uniqueness.

[Alice B]

My wife is the detail guru and handles all finances, taxes, etc. I'm good with thatbecause she career was in that field for others.

[Sarah Doepner]

Gender roles have been going through a meat grinder over the last 40+ years. The sales of ideas has bounced all over the place and every time I've make the purchase, I've found that everything I know is wrong. I've been the alpha male in the house and the nurturing male role model co-equal in the family, I watched my wife want to be protected to wanting to have everything her way to needing nearly everything done on her behalf.

I just listened to an author discuss gender role changes for women and she described the trend from not very long ago where women could fiercely embrace their femininity and sexuality while still taking power lunches and golfing with the men. But she sees that as partially failed since men focused on the femininity and sexuality, effectively objectifying women and ignoring their intellect, business acumen or insight in how things beyond sex and raising kids work.

I'm just not buying any longer, just renting or using up things I already am comfortable with.

[Stephanie47]

Growing up in the 1950's and 1960's it was just a case of following societal norms and expectations. The obvious is women are only capable of child bearing. After the birth a male can be the nurturing parent. I have seen stay at home dad with working mom's. Women have increasingly been propelled into the medical fields traditionally reserved for men; particularly doctors. I have seen many men in the nursing profession now. My wife is a teacher. At the elementary school level teaching is still dominated by women. There are very few men teaching K-5. More men are in middle school and high school.

The only profession I see remaining male dominant is combat infantrymen. I know there has been some break through. However, as a general statement women do not possess the upper body strength required to carrying back breaking/damaging loads for extended periods of time. Nice to see them break into combat related fields of helicopter pilots, aircraft, etc.

The biggest hurdle I do see is ridding elementary school girls of cultural limitations suggested by their families. And, to a greater extent ridding their brothers of the idea their sisters are not worthy of being anything other than a stay at home mom.

[sometimes_miss]

Women have increasingly been propelled into the medical fields traditionally reserved for men; particularly doctors. I have seen many men in the nursing profession now. My wife is a teacher. At the elementary school level teaching is still dominated by women. There are very few men teaching K-5. More men are in middle school and high school. The only profession I see remaining male dominant is combat infantrymen.
While women are making strides into some male dominated professions, they stay away from the harder, dirtier ones like the plague. Construction, plumbing, mining, roofing, electricians, carpentry, high steel, washing windows 80 stories up, sandhogs, anything with extreme weather exposure, oil drilling and refinery work and delivery, fishing, farming, working with cattle, the list just goes on and on. Women want to make more money, but they don't want the hard jobs.
Also, men in the fields you mention haven't made much of a dent since at least back to the seventies. I went to high school in the early seventies, and the teachers were pretty evenly divided by sex. And nursing is still under 10% male. Why? The stigma of working 'a girly job'. This is a problem not only because emasculation in front of a man's peers, but also by the women. The majority of women find masculine men attractive, and being a teacher or a nurse is still a feminine job to most.

[Tracy Irving]

I wanted to quote post #8 from sometimes_miss but it is so long. It is also spot on. Well played, Lexi!