What do you get from multi-day opportunities to dress?

[Sarah Doepner]

I'm guessing here but I think most of us start out dressing for very short periods of time and since it resonates with us in some way, those times begin to extend. But as we attempt to get longer and longer periods en femme, we tend to bump up against the rest of our life and have to change back. But sometimes, the stars align, spouses take the kids to visit grandma and distractions go away. We are left with a chance to try our hand at dressing full time for a few days or a week.

My discoveries have been in multiple areas including logistics, finances and mostly in my self-perception. Logistics would include how to not destroy my face with daily shaving or how to pack for several days in another city. Finances are probably the same as what someone with a potentially pricey hobby would face, how to make sure I could afford to not be making money and just spending it for that time en femme.

Self-Perception has me all wound up as I move from anxiety and frustration to comfort and satisfaction through the 4 or 5 or more days. But as the end approaches, what do you think? Is it satisfaction and pride over what you've done or is it regret that it's coming to an end and you aren't ready. Is it all of these things with a different emphasis depending on how long and how deeply you've gone into your feminine self? I know the frustration or regret that wells up from those sessions where we are limited in our time to a few hours. Is that feeling different for you than coming to the end of a week?

[Stephanie47]

The very last time I had any extended time for Stephanie was several weeks ago when my wife went to visit our daughter after the birth of our latest grandchild. I had two night and three days to be Stephanie. It was refreshing to be en femme when I felt like it. I went out for drives and strolls. The next week it was a repeat but only one night/two days. At my age in a DADT marriage you get use to the limitations. In my youth I would get really stressed out if I did not have at least some "crumbs of time" to dress. Not now! I guess I'm mellowing out.

[Tahoegurl]

I am fortunate that I have a supportive spouse and can dress whenever I like to. I would think that the benefit is to help get a fluent routine down for getting en femme.

[Micki_Finn]

I actually usually can't do extended runs en femme. By about the third day and I have to shave and do makeup and hair and find the perfect outfit etc etc I end up enacting my male priveledge to be a lazy slob but still look presentable. But on the other hand, I don't really have "real life" restrictions on dressing so I don't really feel the need to binge.

[Marie-Jo]

Multi days - that is nice. One downside though, I do not want to change back at the end. That is stressful.

[Lana Mae]

When I had my transformation, I was dressed for 24/4! It was amazingly relaxing and just felt right! At the end of day 4 and time to leave, I cried like a baby or maybe worse! I just discovered Lana Mae and had to put her back until another day! Shorter times are like yeah I have to change now! I really did not do much at my transformation. Maybe I was just being lazy! LOL No long times in sight but will enjoy the short times until then! Hugs Lana Mae

[Dana44]

I dress three or fur times a week with a supportive SO. At the end of the week when I have to change back. It is hard on me. However if I was dressed full time I wonder how long I could do that.

[josie_S]

My only extended dress up session was a three day weekend a few years back. You're right about the anxiety and frustration at the start: for me that's due to driving a couple hours (I cant dress anywhere near home--small town), checking in to the hotel, and the general rush of wanting to get going already. Then of course shaving, getting ready, applying nails (ooh that can drive me bananas), and I wanted to enjoy it but I also wanted to hurry! I finally went out eh door to a lgbt bar, met a few girls there, and slowly it dawned on me that my carriage wouldnt turn into a pumpkin that night and my anxiety went to excitement! The next day I went out for lunch, saw a movie, sat at starbucks, and went back out the next night. I had a lot of fun. The last day I drove around, went into a store but didn't shop (boy had I spent a ton of money at that point), and started to feel a dull ache about having to go back to reality. I was elated and proud of myself, but all good things...

Then I couldn't wait to get home and see the pictures. I loved that weekend but yes, I need to practice restraint and patience and being present in the moment (hopefully) the next time

[Teresa]

Sarah,
I have managed about a day maximum many times and several overnight dressing periods, I'm not happy to return to drab, but the thing I hate most is pushing clothes into boxes and bags rather than hanging them decently in a wardrobe and laying out underwear neatly in a drawer.

I'm biding my time waiting to buy my own house, then I can dress as much as I choose , I will be able to store my clothes neatly and finally get a balanced selection of clothes together for all times of the day .

The logistics, are an important consideration, shaving twice a day may be too much for my skin to stand and wig choices will have to be thought through, if I'm to wear one full time. Finances are going to be tight as I will have my own home to run , so I will definitely keep on shopping in charity shops.

Self perception will be interesting, I haven't been out dressed to attend to everyday situations, but I do intend to find small jobs to supplement my income and intend to do them dressed. Yes I have met the public, I spent a day at a college during a pride week, and the hotel where we meet now is fairly busy so I have met many hotel guests and people dropping in for meals. So far not a single problem.

I expect I will still have to accept drab when my family need me , otherwise I will lose contact with them, I'm waiting to see how that one pans out !

[Tracii G]

You do realize if you could dress all day everyday you wouldn't have such anxieties.
Then again you probably wouldn't dress everyday because it would be too much trouble.
Too much of a good thing gets old quick.

[Kate Simmons]

The longest time I ever continuously dressed was three weeks. To be honest, I was ready to go back. It's a lot of maintenance to prolong the illusion for so long a time I did prove to myself I could do it, however, so if I ever decided to go 24/7 I could probably do it. The only other reason would be if I decided to transition but in my particular case, age and circumstances make it pretty unlikely at this point. :battingeyelashes::)

[PattiL]

When my wife has gone out of town I've had several days in a row to stay dressed. Especially now that the kids have moved out and one is in college. I've loved it - I go get everything from my storage locker and bring it home. That's all I try to wear (unless necessary) and things just seem right. As that comes to an end I'm disappointed. I usually try to get at least one full makeover during that time which makes me go out. This is really the only time that I can do that with work, etc... It does make me wonder what it would be like to do that more often though.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Sarah:hugs:, I just learn to pace myself so I don't get burnt out before the last day...:daydreaming:...

[Stephanie Nicole]

I have not yet had the opportunity to spend any extended time dressed, usually I try to get one full day each weekend, but that depends on work and family obligations. I do dress as often as I can though even if it is not outwardly visible Like wearing panties most days, pantyhose or tights under my jeans on cold days and a nightgown to bed everynight. Sometimes I throw one of my girly tee-shirts on with my regular guy jeans and see if anyone notices. I do want to take a weekend where I can go away and try to spend as much time dressed as I can though.

[TheHiddenMe]

The biggest upside of extended time (four days one time, six days the other) was getting a manicure. Doing so I got to meet two great nail techs w/o were (and continue to be) very supportive.

The one thing I did find is I had to change my timing on doing things. If I wanted to be leaving somewhere at a certain time, I had to start getting ready around an hour earlier. Shaving (face, legs, arms), makeup, and getting dressed just takes a lot longer than boy mode. It's not easy being a girl. It takes work.

[Tahoegurl]

Hiddenme - you are so right...so much more time to get it all together...

[IleneD]

What do I get?
Liberation.

I had an extended period (over a month) at the start of this summer where I was "home alone". Now, there were some tasks and obligations I absolutely could not perform en femme. But for almost all the time I was not obligated, I spent it dressed up.
The difference between a day or a lone afternoon and weeks on free time is remarkable, and it will change your perspective on the woman inside you. I found the short, one day CD time was more of a quick opportunity to play "dress up"; and that was all good. But having extended time to LIVE in the clothes that match your soul is entirely different. It is a transition unto itself, and for me it opened the door to possible personal transition to living full time as a woman. I wasn't just wearing the clothes. I was living as my inner self; as Ilene.
I found the extended time to be more comfortable. I was more at ease, rather than rushing through the dressing-up in order to clean up the mess before people come home. It was an extended taste of my real self. I was able to move about as a woman JUST LIKE HAVING A REAL HUMAN LIFE; able to shop, do my chores, work (as needed), go to the grocery, drive, pump gas, do laundry, go out to eat, go to a movie.......etc. I even went air traveling to another city and back. IOW, all the stuff I might do in Guy Mode in my everyday life. The experience and education was profound. It touched me such that I was convinced that if I wished to transition to full time life as the woman Ilene, I could comfortably do it.
Forget all the nuisance of the logistics and trouble of dressing. I found great ways to dress casually, just like any other normal woman on the street might ordinarily dress. It all worked for me, and the weeks I spent in my Ilene persona taught me much about myself.

[DIANEF]

I can pretty much echo everything Ilene has said. I've spent rare weeks dressed and absolutely loved it. Going from waking to bedtime en femme is so much better than a few snatched hours here and there which is what I usually get. The last time I did it I really, really didn't want it to end.

[docrobbysherry]

Trying to figure out and pack everything I'll need for 5 days and nites of dressing at DLV and WildSide is NOT fun!:sad:

But, once I get there and meet u girls? It's nothing but fun!:D:drink::hugs:

[Jenny22]

I'm a lucky one, I guess. Every morning I dress in my pretties, including forms and jewelry but sans wig and makeup (lipstick, YES!). If I have to leave the house, I'm completely under dressed unless I know that I may get a hug, or going to the Doc. I've done this for a long time, and its just natural for this old girl, now.

[marsha leanne]

i have had one long time period of almost 6 weeks. While it was like many have said, very revealing and educational, it was several years ago when i was working. that meant drab during the day and Marsha at night. i did go out, went to the movies, attended a lgbt formal dinner, and drove around town, but still had to be guy self during the day. that time was spent discovering who Marsha was and where she fit in my life. It was before i discovered this wonderful site and was still trying to understand (and accept) this other side of me. both Marsha and myself grew to know each other and began the long trail to understanding and completeness.it was in that time i began to accept this side of me.

It wasn't just Marsha time, i built a deck, dug and filled a small decorative pond. but then i could clean up, and Marsha could go out and enjoy the yard and the evening as herself. It was wonderful.

i would be very interested to repeat that now that i am retired and not needing to go to work. the acceptance of Marsha and this side of me would make for a very interesting and satisfying time. i cherish any time i get and while there have been a few 1 and 2 day periods, i have always wondered what a extended time would really be like now.

Looking back on these words, i realize i am speaking of Marsha in the third person. i guess i still have some walls to break down.

[Helen_Highwater]

Having been lucky enough to spend 6-7 days enfemme on a number of occasions I can say that it induces a number of emotions.

There's initially somewhat of a feeling of euphoria, the joy of being free to express yourself. This is followed by calmness, a new normality sets in. This lasts for days but slowly begins to be tempered by the routine of having to prepare for each day out. GG's certainly have to do their makeup, hair etc. What they don't have to do is shave their faces to the point where your chin starts to resemble the colour of a tomato from the constant scraping. As others have said it can become hard work ensuring you maintain the look.

It's also about finding different things to do while enfemme. Going clothes shopping everyday doesn't cut it, the allure soon wears off. I've tried to do as many "normal" day to day things as possible. Shop for food, buy petrol, use public transport, stop for lunch in cafes and bistros, go to the cinema, eat out in restaurants etc.

I think one of the problems is that we often do these thing in isolation, alone, not accompanied either by a fellow CD'er or someone, male or female dressed in their natural state. Some of the high points of my time dressed are the interactions with muggles. Often short and sweet they are however to me a validation of me as Helen. A person in my own right and not some outsider on the fringe of daily life. Those brief snippets of conversation form some of my strongest recollections of time enfemme.

After 6-7 days it's mixed emotions. Glad of a break from makeup, saddened that the break will be too long and too much time will elapse before I get to enjoy walking up enfemme looking forward to the day ahead.

[ClosetED]

The most has been 3 days - I do get hundreds of pictures! It is the only time I can sleep in nighties, with bra on, a few times with a wig on - just to experience other feminine things. I have so much to try, I never get to the routineness of it. And since it may be long periods between chances, I use the time to capture it on film to enjoy later. When my wife kicked me out of the house I pay for, I was in a hotel room for a few days, but still had to go to work. I do feel the regret of having to put stuff away and wait for the next opportunity.
Hugs, Ellen

[Rhonda Jean]

I live all by myself now. It's very different from when I was married and had to go out of town. I'm not sure it wasn't more fun then

For years and years I went out of town to do my girl thing with my wife's blessing and encouragement. I went whenever I felt like it, or when I felt like I couldn't stand to be in boy mode any longer. Sometimes that was every 2 weeks, sometimes 5 or 6. It took 3 days (two nights in a hotel) to get one good day dressing. A typical trip was like this.

When I couldn't leave the house dressed I'd at least try to make my hair presentable at home, then pull off the highway somewhere and change. I even had a butane curling iron. I never enjoyed getting dressed in the car. Just tried to do enough to get by and check into the hotel. I always took an SUV full of clothes. Once in my room I do a little better job at makeup and hair and get ready to shop until near closing, then go out to eat. By about 10:00 or 10:30 I was usually back in my room.

The next morning I'd dress pretty casually and go to one place to get my hair done and another to get my nails done. I'd get lunch and kill some time before heading back to the hotel and dress for the rest of the day/evening. This was really the only time I got to enjoy the whole process. I could take my time with my makeup, usually try on a lot of things and try different looks. It'd be dinner time or nearly before I left the room. Usually overdressed, I'd head out to shop. I was never good at finding ways to spend my fem time. It was always the same thing. Lots of shopping, lots of eating out, some driving around, occasionally a drink at the hotel bar. I was rarely out 'till midnight.

The next day I usually had to rush to get dressed by checkout time. I'd do my hair and makeup, even though I knew I'd be heading home that day and have to pull over and undo everything before I got home. It was always difficult to go back. I'd undo in stages. I'd take off my nail polish while I was driving. I'd pull over at the first rest stop and take off my makeup and change clothes. At the last rest stop I'd have one more look in the mirror to see that I got everything off. I always had a roller set or some kind of elaborate hairstyle done, so at this last rest stop I'd wet my hair down, usually at one of those outdoor hydrants.

As much as I hated to change back, usually by the time I got home I was OK. I loved my wife and loved my family. I was happy that I was "allowed" this time to myself, but I was pretty good at letting it wind down. The next day I was usually better than before I left. I needed that time. My wife knew I needed my girl time, and I knew it. I also knew I had to come back. I also knew that when I needed to I could go again. I did it so often and for so long it just became routine.

Here is the problem, and it's an easy thing to fall into... I never completely went back to boy mode. Of course, there were the usual things that most of us do, panties 24/7 and shaved all over all the time. I always pushed just a tiny bit toward full time. Push a tiny bit enough times over enough years and you have someone who looks like a woman all the time and the only thing different is makeup and boobs. Great if you can get away with it.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I've been to Keystone Conference about 6 times, which is almost 5 days of all girl all the time day and night.

After getting used to walking in heels and adjusting my gait to the length of the dress it is all so wonderful. I usually wear two outfits every day, sometimes three, and I get fully accessorize, select my wig for the day and do my makeup. At the end of the day, I get to sleep in a nightgown.

The only problem I have is the massive serotonin high crash that I get when return to boy mode. Think Cinderella! But this past Keystone I was above the clouds high for a week, and never crashed.

[JeanTG]

I had an opportunity to go a couple of weeks a few months ago. I took everything out of the attic, cleaned all the male clothes out of my closet and put them in storage, and lived the good life. The only problem is that I'm not 100% comfortable going out; as I work from home I didn't need to. The only time I ever went out dressed was to my therapist last spring, and many years ago in winter heavily dressed with toque and scarf and winter coat.

So I did "man up" a couple of days to go out and meet with friends. I did drive around in my car at night while dressed though. It IS a lot of work but for me, an opportunity to be comfortable in my own skin and give my wardrobe a workout.

[Scarlett398]

Lots of time to do photo shoots with a wide variety of outfits! I love my wife to pieces, but when she goes out of town 3 or 4 times a year on business, I love my Scarlett time! :2c:

[sometimes_miss]

I wouldn't call it satisfaction or pride; It's just a feeling of, well, relief. I've reached a point where, on my periods where I don't have to work or leave the house for any reason, I can spend 100% of my time dressed as a female does, and experience some things in ways that they do as well. I have a general psychological discomfort whenever wearing men's clothing, and only feel normal when dressed as a female.


By about the third day and I have to shave and do makeup and hair and find the perfect outfit etc etc I end up enacting my male priveledge to be a lazy slob but still look presentable.
Men aren't the only ones who can be lazy and still look presentable. There are plenty of women who can roll out of bed, straighten out their hair, and look terrific; I'm lucky to have had several girlfriends over the years who still looked terrific even though they just woke up. Sure, many of these women are the genetically gifted ones who have good, even complexions and good hair, but they also stay in shape so they have less, let's say, physical imperfections to make up for in the first place.

[Lucy23]

Mine may be a special case because I live on my own, and as such I can dress any time I want. There are days I wouldn't touch anything, but for the last few weeks not a single day has passed by without me wearing something, be it underwear, shorts, leggings or a t-shirt.

Actually, it seems natural to come home and change into something comfortable and lounge around. When I have to change back because of outside duties (work, friends, shopping), I don't feel bad about having to "return to drab". I think of it as two states that complement each other in various ways.

Usually the only thing that I hate is when I change into my business outfits when I work from home only to later realize that I have to go out do some errands... In such cases I get tired of taking off every piece of clothing.

[Alice B]

Joy, Happines, a feeling of freedom and a bit of mystery.

[Vintage4sarah]

One of the things that has always cast a shadow over much of my dressing has been the "midnight hour" like Cinderella when it all must end. Those times when I am away at a Tgirl event or traveling my Sarah time stretches over a day or more that "midnight hour" is off in the distance and the lack of stress allows me to savor those times and enjoy my Tgirl friends better. Simple joys like lounging in my room, changing outfits for different occasions or a slow sip of wine become more enhanced.

[Sarah Doepner]

Thank you for all the great observations and insight into this aspect of CD life. There seem to be several shared experiences that show up in the comments and although I don't highlight everyone who replied, there are some that hit me as things I might say.



. . At the end of day 4 and time to leave, I cried like a baby or maybe worse! I just discovered Lana Mae and had to put her back until another day! . . .

My first extended time was about the same, except I kept the emotions bottled up until I was driving home. Something on the radio made me laugh, but within moments I had to pull to the side of the road and cry it all out.


. . . and the general rush of wanting to get going already. Then of course shaving, getting ready, applying nails (ooh that can drive me bananas), and I wanted to enjoy it but I also wanted to hurry! I finally went out eh door to a lgbt bar, met a few girls there, and slowly it dawned on me that my carriage wouldnt turn into a pumpkin that night and my anxiety went to excitement! . . . . I need to practice restraint and patience and being present in the moment (hopefully) the next time

That moment when I realize this is going to last seems to take a lot longer than I expect. Sometimes it's buried in a bundle of activities but it can be a pretty sweet moment when the tension drops away.


You do realize if you could dress all day everyday you wouldn't have such anxieties.
Then again you probably wouldn't dress everyday because it would be too much trouble. Too much of a good thing gets old quick.

Evidently I haven't been able to get "too much of a good thing" yet. I'll let everyone know when I max out.


The biggest upside of extended time (four days one time, six days the other) was getting a manicure. . . . getting dressed just takes a lot longer than boy mode. It's not easy being a girl. It takes work.

I still have getting my nails done on my to-do list. However, when I know I'm going to be out for several days I try to plan ahead and grow my nails out. Two years ago I gave myself French Tips on my nails and they stayed that way for 5 days. It was a treat and saved me some time in getting ready. But while it does take time to shave, do makeup, hair and dress, I generally enjoy the process of finding that part of me that looks the most like a woman.


What do I get?
Liberation. . . . The difference between a day or a lone afternoon and weeks on free time is remarkable, and it will change your perspective on the woman inside you. I found the short, one day CD time was more of a quick opportunity to play "dress up"; and that was all good. But having extended time to LIVE in the clothes that match your soul is entirely different. It is a transition unto itself, and for me it opened the door to possible personal transition to living full time as a woman. . . . The experience and education was profound. It touched me such that I was convinced that if I wished to transition to full time life as the woman Ilene, I could comfortably do it.
Forget all the nuisance of the logistics and trouble of dressing. I found great ways to dress casually, just like any other normal woman on the street might ordinarily dress. It all worked for me, and the weeks I spent in my Ilene persona taught me much about myself.

I imagine any of us who desire to spend extended time as our female self wonder if we will feel as you do when it's done. You discovered something about yourself that maybe the rest of us miss when we become overwhelmed by our emotions or frustration as we have to put everything away for another time. I'm glad you had that experience and were able to come to that revelation.


Having been lucky enough to spend 6-7 days enfemme on a number of occasions I can say that it induces a number of emotions.

There's initially somewhat of a feeling of euphoria, the joy of being free to express yourself. This is followed by calmness, a new normality sets in. This lasts for days but slowly begins to be tempered by the routine of having to prepare for each day out. GG's certainly have to do their makeup, hair etc. What they don't have to do is shave their faces to the point where your chin starts to resemble the colour of a tomato from the constant scraping. As others have said it can become hard work ensuring you maintain the look. . . .
I think one of the problems is that we often do these thing in isolation, alone, not accompanied either by a fellow CD'er or someone, male or female dressed in their natural state. Some of the high points of my time dressed are the interactions with muggles. Often short and sweet they are however to me a validation of me as Helen. A person in my own right and not some outsider on the fringe of daily life. Those brief snippets of conversation form some of my strongest recollections of time enfemme. . . .

The only times I've been able to get those extended periods have been down in Las Vegas at DLV. While most evenings and some afternoons are spent with the group I normally end up being by myself during the day. Eventually I get out to eat or shop or sight see and occasionally have the conversation with a muggle or two. They don't always end up the way I'd prefer, but good or bad, they are memorable and help shape my persona.


One of the things that has always cast a shadow over much of my dressing has been the "midnight hour" like Cinderella when it all must end. Those times when I am away at a Tgirl event or traveling my Sarah time stretches over a day or more that "midnight hour" is off in the distance and the lack of stress allows me to savor those times and enjoy my Tgirl friends better. Simple joys like lounging in my room, changing outfits for different occasions or a slow sip of wine become more enhanced.

I agree there is an unexpected pleasure to be found in those moments when you've done all the getting ready, you've passed the anxious moment of stepping out the door for the first time, you've been with others and found your level of confidence and comfort. Then you can take your moment of Zen and "Be Here Now" and savor the multitude of sensations and thoughts that come at you now that you are finally open to them and maybe seeing them from a slightly different perspective.

[ellbee]

Years ago, I spent something like 7-10 days (I forget exactly), 24/7, fully dolled-up. Well, obviously at night I'd take off (most of) my make-up -- sometimes, LOL.


I had the opportunity to do so, and I *wanted* to do so. I was on vacation at the time, but at home.

I did somewhat prepare & plan for this, as best I could, so it's not like I had to do everything en femme that I normally would have done in guy-mode.


But yeah, it was kind of a surreal experience. It was also a draining one. By the end of my little experiment, I really just wanted to go back to living life as a guy. On some level, it was just further confirmation that there was no way I was a TS, heh.

It was also additional appreciation for those GG's who do do a lot of this kind of stuff on a regular basis. It's tough work & a real hassle!

[ginapoodle]

I am about to find out...six days in Portland, OR. Less than two weeks. I am going to pace myself. Will be with friends almost the entire time.

[alesha]

At home, I rarely get a chance to dress for several days. I do travel for work once in a while and I would usually take an extra couple days vacation so I can stay dressed. More often than not, the "excitement" wears out after the first day.

Logistics in terms of finding the opportunity to dress multiple days is always a problem but logistics in terms of shaving and finances is not a problem. I'm not rich by any means but it's like any other hobby and I tend not to splurge on men's clothes but I make up for it in women's clothes. I'm a frugal shopper but I do tend to buy a lot during sales. As far as shaving, I'm Asian so I don't have much hair to begin with and I actually went through several electrolysis sessions years ago. I still have facial hair that I need to shave daily but there's not a lot and I can get away with just plucking and no need to shave for a few days.