Showing your colours

[Caroline Varg]

Today was a very special day for me. One year ago, I was firmly in the closet when it comes to TV/TS. Today, I'm happily moving along on the TS journey, being very excited about what is to come. I have come out to my family and close relatives, but not yet at work. Most of my friends are in the LGBT community, and they are fully aware too. I'm very happy to have a supportive wife who does what she can to support me, even if it is difficult for her.

The big event today was the Pride Parade through the city of Stockholm, marking the end of the Pride celebration week. The rainbow flag is all over the city. It felt natural for me to parade together with my friends in the local TG support group, raising awareness for TG rights. I've been told that it is almost impossible to recognize my male persona due to my makeup, so I feel safe to walk in the parade despite not being fully open. My family was actually also joining the parade, which in fact was the first time my kids saw me fully dressed (the picture with the train in the background was taken by my 11 year old daughter).

It feels meaningful for me to be a proud transgender person and "showing the colours". I've actually resisted the temptation to always try to pass, or at least "blend in", but actually showing with a pin that I am a proud transgendered person as I walk in the city. Maybe I am fortunate to live in a city where it is relatively safe to be TG.

Have any of you paraded for TG rights or "showed the colours" publicly in a similar way? Or do you feel security concerns?

[kimdl93]

You've come a long way in a year! I'm so glad to hear that your wife and family are supportive.

To answer your question, no, not really. I've been out quite often in everyday situations, and I can't pass...or even blend to any great degree, so in that respect, my presence has been a quiet statement, I suppose. However, I've never been to a Pride event, don't have a pin or and arm band. I admire those who do, can, have :)

[AllieSF]

Congratulations for your special moment participating and supporting the whole community. I have attended the San Francisco Pride parade several times as me, but have not walked in it, which requires to be a member or invited by one of the many registered marching groups. I have also attended the trans special event and march the Friday before. In a way, those were all in my previous safe zone away from my suburban home stomping grounds. That mattered before, but today I am out to everyone that counts and my safe zone is getting smaller each day and hopefully will disappear in the near future.

[Marie-Jo]

Hi
Yes we met in Pride Park at Friday, in Stockholm. Good to see you. You were really good looking. It is really good to know that you are getting acceptance from your family. I really wish you well with the transition.

[DMichele]

Caroline,
Thanks for sharing your experience; it gives me hope that someday I can venture out as a more convincing woman. I do occasionally wear the TG community colors seen here...
https://img1.etsystatic.com/122/0/6423073/il_340x270.893783243_6kdc.jpg

[Nigella]

I have a number of issues with "showing the colours"

I have been at the front, albeit in a different role. I was the Senior Trade Union Representative in my last employment. I was involved as a representative for almost all the time I was employed by them, working through the "ranks". About 2/3rds of the way through was when I accepted I was TG, note the TG not TS. I started presenting female 24/7. Almost immediately the whole situation changed, members who would "bug" me at every opportunity stopped, I could eat my meals in peace. Very few members would approach me with union issues, although they knew that if it reached a certain level, I was automatically involved. This was because of a change of what I chose to wear.

The second issue is the TG community, as the public view it. I am TS, now whether that is old school or not, it is how I identify. Being TS, to me is about my Gender and not my Sexuality. As the TG community has aligned itself with the LGB community, the perception by Joe/Jane Public is that being TG is about Sexuality, but as we all know, the TG spectrum is broad, ranging from the fetish dresser, through the crossdressers, passing the non binary/gender non conforming and finishing with the Transsexuals. That is a broad swathe (sp) and many, but not all, in the community will argue that their sexuality is not in question. So flying the flag or supporting the colours just does not gel with me.

Too many people, in all walks of life want a "equal" place but will supply the ammunition for those willing to stand above the parapet, but more often than not, when the shit starts flying back, they duck their heads and say "It wasn't me Sir"

Been there, done that.

Having said all that, as a TS woman, which is how I identify to anyone who asks, I am out fully, living as a woman. I face Joe/Jane Public everyday, I do not shy away from dialogue and will engage with anyone who wants to. I am honest with everyone about being TS and only have one proviso, if your question is too personal, I will not answer it. I have had many people who, because of me, have researched being TS, have asked me questions and have finally expressed their respect and admiration for me being who I am and sharing it.

So, no I do not raise flag and shout from the rooftops, but I am "Out, Loud and Proud" just in my own way, changing the world bit by bit.

[Rianna Humble]

I have no problem with being seen in public. As I was outed by the press world wide some 7 years ago I never really got to choose but would not have gone into hiding even if I hadn't been outed.

Yesterday was a great day at Brighton Pride flying the flag for equality and marching with union comrades from British Airways.

Funnily enough, I never experienced the backlash in my union role that others have. My ostracism came from political allies who should have known better.

[Caroline Varg]

Thank you for your comments.

I have a rather senior position in my industry. I'm a CEO and I regularly speak at external conferences and I appear in industry magazines. A transition on my part, which will likely happen in the fall of 2018, will most definitely be front page news in the industry. In such a situation, I've been told that I could potentially inspire other TGs who are still in the closet by demonstrating that you actually can transition in a senior position. Therefore, I'm already now (still disguised) thinking on how I can be active and inspire others in the future.

[Starling]

...I'm already now...thinking on how I can be active and inspire others in the future.

That's just great, Caroline. I'm looking forward to hearing all about it!

:) Lallie

[Debb]

Hi Caroline!

So .. I transitioned socially a year ago. I do not occupy such a senior position as you, but I wanted to re-affirm to you that yes, you will set an example for others, and for years to come.

I know this because I have also been told that I'm serving as an example to my own community of co-workers. I work at a large health insurance concern in the U.S., and was very popular as "Dave" .. and that translated pretty nicely into my new life, as the true me. It's been a largely positive experience at work (not so much in home life), and that has resulted in contacts from two others in the company who are now planning their own transitions at work.

[Rachel Smith]

I am with Nigella on this one. I don't participate in parades or "flying the colours" but I am TG and live and work as such. I lost most work cohorts now it's just mostly me. However if someone approaches me and ask intelligent questions I will gladly answer all. If however you cross a bridge that I don't want to I will respectfully decline to answer. I am however grateful for those like Caroline and the others here. It's just personally I don't feel a connection on that level.

Rachel

[AlyssaJ]

This is a topic that is near and dear to my heart. I wrote a blog post related to this and yes I have been doing things to lend more visibility. Below is a picture I posted two weeks ago with a challenge to my trans-sisters to do more themselves. This is how I went to a laser session (I was not "out" to the clinic before walking in like this). As you can see, no wig, no makeup other than some eyeliner and no breast forms. I was no less a woman that day simply because I didn't wear those things. On the way home from laser, I made multiple stops (groceries, lunch, etc.). I was proud to be out and about and visible to the world. And no, I did not encounter any issues with people, even when I used the women's room.

[Caroline Varg]

Alyssa, this is so awesome. To be able to be proud enough of your trans identity, and brave enough to overcome the temptation to go "all in" with wig, breast forms and all the gear, is a sign of true strength.

Attached is a picture of me visiting a restaurant with a friend, leaving the wig at home, thus being very obvious that I am trans. And I was proud of it!

Big hug
Caroline

[Bria]

Caroline, I have to say that leaving the wig at home did not make you obviously trans. I see a lot of ggs that have short hair and they still look like women and so do you. Just my opinion!

I currently go out with out a wig, my hair is longer than yours, but still with in the realm of boy hair. Sorry I don't have a current picture to post.

Hugs, Bria

[Teresa]

Caroline,
Yes I have .

Our social group was asked by Boston ( UK) college if we could send some members to the pride week to offer support to the TGs at the college . It was the first time being out in that kind of situation rather than the hotel where we hold our meetings. I actually wore the leather skirt in my avatar with a different top. I drove two other members through the town to the college, we met the LGBTG support manager at the reception , we were then shown where we could set up shop. After we went to the coffee shop where we chatted about our personal situations to give her an insight to help others with problems. Obviously being dressed in that situation was gong to get some attention , to many it was the first time they had seen CDers in the flesh, but everyone was very friendly . No one came forward to ask for advice or chat through the day but we said we would do it again if asked but obviously approach it in a different way. We concluded that they probably wouldn't out themselves by openly chatting to us .

It was still lovely to be out in such a public situation without any problems .