GG freind

[Wendy me]

Wendy here again ... going to the beach this week
And of corse Wendy time for sure ...

Ok a GG freind of mine wants to get together
And hang out ...she is super cool and knows
everyone I know .., so should she meet Wendy???
I think she would be cool with it but if not
this could be a huge mess ..., my wife
Dosent know I am going to hang out with her
she is the type that would see the worse
and that's not what is planed ....

So To see Wendy or not????

[Alberta_Pat]

Oh boy, the scenario you describe is loaded with land mines.

Would you be willing to invite your wife to the beach as well? If not, then I think you are setting up for a new life.

[phili]

I think the order of events is backwards and separate needs have to be untangled. First- having a GG friend who is special because she accepts you: a. make sure your wife is good with her as a friend and what you do together b. - ask if she wants to meet Wendy where you are. Develop that relationship and your network c. you'll know when she can join you at the beach without it being seen as cheating on your wife/flirting around the edges of cheating or having a double life without your wife- which is a bad idea!

[StephanieM]

If it has the potential to cause problems in your marriage, you probably shouldn't do it.

[Stacy Darling]

I'm not scared of living a little dangerously!
I'm thinking that this is out of my comfort zone though!

A wise choice is needed on this one!
Stacy!

[Ariana225]

i have a lot of GG friends in guy mode that my wife is also friends with. If I have to hide a friendship from my wife then I wouldn't do it. DADT or still in the closet CDs may potentially cause even more problems with their wife if they hang out with another GG without their knowledge. Very thin ice, I would approach it carefully. Your wife might not see it as just a girly friendship but instead view it as an affair.

[IamWren]

From what you describe, it sounds like your wife would have a pretty big problem with you "hanging out" with this GG friend of yours whether in guy mode or Wendy mode. I bet you know this.

So with that in mind and considering you're asking an anonymous group of CDers on an internet forum... I say go for it! Get as dolled up as you possibly can to spring Wendy on this friend of yours.

That is of course if you don't mind completely losing control of who does and doesn't know about Wendy, the potential risk of your wife deciding to leave you and take half of your stuff plus requiring spousal support as well as losing friends and the social network you've built.

<sarcasm font>Sure. Sounds like a great idea to me. </sarcasm font>

[Nigella]

Ok a GG freind of mine wants to get together
And hang out ...she is super cool and knows
everyone I know ..,

Does this include your wife?


so should she meet Wendy???

So she does not know Wendy then, just male you?


I think she would be cool with it but if not
this could be a huge mess ...,

What gives you that impression? Have you spent time discussing the TG community at any point? Has she given you any impression that she is supportive of TGs?


my wife

Ah the fly in the ointment


Dosent know I am going to hang out with her

So you have decided that meeting the friend is acceptable without the knowledge of your wife


she is the type that would see the worse
and that's not what is planed ....

This does not gel with what you have written already
Dosent know I am going to hang out with her it is definitely what you have planned.


So To see Wendy or not????

Maybe your question should be Do I talk to my wife?

Do you want to borrow a 280587 so you can walk through this 280588

[Micki_Finn]

100% absolutely positively not and has nothing to do with coming out. You acknowledge that your wife absolutely would not be OK with it. If you go ahead even knowing that she's not cool with it you are grossly violating her trust and essentially cheating on her. Big fat NO imho.

[Melissa Rose]

I suspect you already know the answer or you would not be looking for affirmation on an internet forum. There is so much to lose (i.e., destroying a friendship, upsetting a marriage, breaking trust) and very little to gain (dressing in front of a friend) in this scenario. This is not a Die Hard movie where you can out run, jump away from or dodge a hail of bullets and explosions.

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Wendy
Think about this logically.
I would suggest you can hang out together if it wont cause trouble with your wife

Secondly since this GG knows everyone else in your life too its a big gamble telling her about Wendy. That's before you even think about her meeting Wendy.

[Rogina B]

If you really want to do it,go ahead ! Tell us what happens ! lol NOT SMART !

[Stephanie47]

Tip toe through the land mines. You're making the assumption your friend would be super cool with you presenting as a woman. Maybe you should ask her first if she agrees to meeting Wendy. Showing up as Wendy at a Halloween party is different than meeting at Starbucks for coffee. Although your wife may be ok with you meeting your female friend, she may not be on board meeting her as Wendy. If there is a negative fallout with her or others finding out, she may have to suffer consequences she is not prepared for. My wife and I are secure in our marriage. She and I have never had any issues with each other having coffee with a friend of the opposite sex. Is there any reason you would not tell your wife you're going to meet a female friend?

[~Joanne~]

sneaking around with another woman, as innocent as it may be, is NEVER a good idea. EVER. Your asking and looking to create more problems for yourself.

[Tracy Irving]

You didn't ask about spending time with the GG. It reads like you are going to do that anyway.

As for meeting Wendy, the risk / reward scale doesn't even come close to balancing. I would never do it. So, if you are asking for opinions, she should not see Wendy until you are 100% certain you can handle the fallout if it goes wrong. I would subtly gather more intel on her feelings about and surrounding crossdressing. A best friend can become a stranger with just a few words.

[Nikki A.]

No no no

[DeniseJohnson]

I do not think this is a good plan. I belive it could end badly

[Tracy Ann]

In a word "NO"

[Robinsinclair]

The question really is ...

What is the upside and what is the downside?

It sounds to me like the downside has a lot of potential to change your life in unanticipated ways.

[Krisi]

..., my wife
Dosent know I am going to hang out with her
she is the type that would see the worse
and that's not what is planed ....

So To see Wendy or not????

You are planning on hanging out with another woman that your wife doesn't know about? Are you insane? Forget the crossdressing question, a married man cannot "hang out" with another woman without the wife knowing her and approving. And that's very unlikely to happen.

I speak from experience.

[Wendy me]

Car is packed a wicked cute comfy outfit
Is ready for the long drive . Thoughts mixed
excited and nervous at the same time


Wife going for tea with her freind so tonight
Getting dressed long tight jeans matching
undies ... hair done make up done open toe
Heels ...nails and toes light pink hoops and diamonds in ears
Low cut tank top ..,
Then ready to travel ..., today doing things around the house

Tonight to the beach.....,,when I get there
I am going to put on a short flowing dress then
Mix a drink then walk the beach ....

Not sure of what and how things will go

[Joni T]

If you're doing something and must keep it from your wife you probably shouldn't be doing it.
Jon

[Wendy me]

Hi report from the beach .....met for brefest
Then went to the beach me mostly in "him" mode
Now Wendy and " him" wear very short shorts
Cutoff jeans .... but "his" a tad longer..,

Ok going to the beach short shorts ... and a
Bikini bottom very tight and small
Never thought abought just like always

Now at the beach chairs set up cooler
Blanket all set off comes my tank top.., short shots off
Now in a bikini bottom .... she looks and
Said cute .... we sat and tanned walked the beach
Swam .....

She came back to the house ..... said something you want to tell me ?
I said give me a little while .......,,
She met WENDY...........,

[suzanne]

GG friend and you have a wife? Biggest no-no in a marriage, I would say. Women count emotional affairs as being no different from a sexual affair. This is the third rail my friend.

Some years ago, I went on a trip, without my wife, to play softball in Italy. Some wives came along, some didn't. While there, I was smitten by the wife of one of my teammates. She was gorgeous, to be sure, but what really got my attention was the depth of her intellect (no, really!). She was easily the most intelligent person I ever met through the game of baseball. We had many great conversations when she wasn't being the girl every man wanted to dance with. We never did anything physical, and we have only met once in the years since. That time, we chatted briefly and I told her that, under different circumstances, we'd be best friends for life. She agreed. To me, 'different circumstances' means "not married to other people", because no matter how platonic we would be, it would be a never ending source of doubt and insecurity to our respective spouses. I think of her often, but it ended there.

[karenph]

Wendy me, you should change your name to mischievous Wendy! :battingeyelashes:

[Beverley Sims]

Are you blindsided or what?

[Wendy me]

I got dressed ina pair or retro butt hugging
Jeans with a flair bottom with a long hanging
Off the hip belt ...top was a present blouse pale pink
Perl and gold bead choker neckless .. Huge
Hoops earrings every gold bracket I own

Make up was fast eye liner mascara blush and
Who- red lipstick .... flipped back my hair
A few times shook my head hair spray
Head down then spray the top share and done

Scared as hell almost shaking I walked out
Said well here I am .... she said paul you look cute
I swallowed a lump in my mouth and said
This is Wendy.... she said let's finish your make up
And go get dinner ....

So it worked out wicked good... she vowed
Not to say a word as long as she could hang
Out with WENDY....

[Suzie Petersen]

Sounds great!! What could possibly go wrong??

Hmmm ...

[Stephanie Nicole]

At this point since you already met her as Wendy, I would now tell your wife before you get in too deep. She will find out anyway (They always do) and this way it will soften the blow if you tell her yourself honestly ( I am assuming your wife knows about Wendy). Look at it this way, how would you feel if your wife was meeting up with another man for beach and dinner dates? Now take that feeling and magnify it because you already had the beach date and are now planning a dinner date all behind her back. And you revealed yourself as Wendy to someone else and not her ( If she didn't already know). I smell ( and I hope I am wrong) the big D in your future if you don't come clean now.