Serious Question for Women

[Sonia_cd]

Hi everyone!

Another thread set me thinking as I read it and the many additions and responses to it. I understand that there are many of you out there in happy marriages, with support or at least tolerance of dressing activity flowing from your wives. Me, being single, have no perspective on what that might be like for the CD or their wives, except what is stated in these threads.

Simply put, my question is this: What is the average woman's response/reaction when made aware of their partners/boyfriends crossdressing. Understanding and time are key elements it seems, for the SO, in coming to terms with crossdressing, so if its all right, I would like to gain insight into what initial reactions are and, if its not too much bother, whether expectations change and how so?

It would be great to hear from women rather than the crossdressers, since that view is direct and first-hand. I don't mean to sound rude or be rude, just a sincere attempt to try and understand how women deal with an important person in their lives telling them, "honey, let me wear the skirts in this relationship!"

Love,
Sonia

P.S. 1: I can't seem to get myself to call them genetic girls, I don't understand the concept. They are girls/women/ladies and we will be guys! For the transsexuals among us, on completion of SRS, they are women too.

P.S. 2: I AM VERY SORRY IF I HAVE BEEN POLITICALLY INCORRECT OR HAVE IN ANY WAY OFFENDED ANYONE. It was not intentional nor deliberate.

[BethGG]

Well, just so you know I think a lot of the CD'ers/TGs/TS's on this site like to be called girls. It's just easier to say GG when talking about a genetic girl, rather then get all confused on what just saying "girl" means, you know? I admit I sometimes say "he" on the site when refering to my boyfriend, but I don't think he minds.

Anyway, my bf told me a bit before we even started going out. He said he likes going out in drag to clubs sometimes, but didn't get much more into it then that. I didn't really care. When we started dating, maybe like a couple weeks into it he told me how he really felt about it all, about being a CD'er, the mental aspect/gender dysphoria, ect. I was a bit taken aback, since I didn't really know much about CDing and the mental aspect....I thought that there were drag queens and there were transexuals, and didn't know there was a whole bunch of people in between that. So yeah, at first I was kind of scared, but I figured I really liked him so why not just keep going with it and see what happens? Through our relationship we've continued to have talks about it, I would voice my concerns(would he get SRS? Hormones? Ect..), and I think just talking it out helped. Also looking at stuff online and reading books has helped me understand too. Nowdays we live together, and I'm pretty fine with it. I think he's more uncomfortable about it then I am!

So I'd say the most important things for you to know about dating and CD'ing is A)Tell the person ASAP!! Even if it's just some and not all at once, let them know something. Waiting will make things more awkward and the other person will feel like you lied. B)Try to get the person to read up on it, like tell them sites to go to or books to read. Most people have NO idea about CD'ing, and it's the fear of the unknown that is the worst! C)Communication is key. Try to have conversations, and let the person tell you their fears about it. Try to listen to how they feel and be understanding.

[Sonia_cd]

Dear Beth,

First, wishing you all the very best and all the love in your relationship.

Second, thank you for sharing your thoughts. Appreciate every input in this case.

Third, point about ease of reference in the terms GG and CD/TG/TV/TS is taken. Accept all that you say. Just a little wall in my head that I need to break down or jump over.

Hugs,
Sonia

[Dizzy GG]

I agree with Beth, being upfront at the beginning is the ideal.

I met my partner on a dating site. He had decided to be true to himself after his divorce and only meet women who knew about his dressing. He was blocked by wary women, some were rude and some were interested in getting to know him. He made many good girlfriends on there and had a good social life both dressed as male and female. Most said they wanted to be friends but no more. Then we met and although I had no experience of crossdressing I got to know him first on line and then eventually we met. There have been many questions asked along the way and times at the beginning when I wasn't sure I had the strength to continue. But the attraction I felt to the whole person kept me going and now we couldn't be happier. He has gone at my pace and I have continued at working at being open. I feel in many ways I have the best of both worlds in my relationship and many of my fears due to ignorance are no longer there. I think the best way is honesty and consideration on both parts and life can be very good. I feel very blessed.

[GiGi GG]

I think that maybe our experience was a bit different from most others (maybe I'm wrong, just haven't seen others that say the same...but please if you've had the same experience, let me know - would love to share :cheeky: ).

Anyway, Bree was born as a result of us kissing, and me leaving lipstick on him... then he wanted more lipstick... then mascara, and shadow, and blush...

He was the best "clothes authority" I'd ever been with - always suggesting really good fashions for me, he loved the frilly, silky, sexy stuff. Always adjusting me, helping me put on jewelery, picking off threads, lint... just the most attentive person I'd been with. And then, I fell in love.... and still am !

We decided to dress in drag on vacation on a theme night ... bought a wig, shoes, dress, accessories, etc... Bree made a public debut there, and was a hit!!

Things just progressed from there, and here we are now... so, there was no "coming out", just coming into one's self - together. :luvu:

The man I fell in love with is still there... just prettier :cool:

[Billijo49504]

Honest is still the best thing. You don't have to remember the lye. So if you can, be up front. That's my advice and the advice of several of the other girls on the forum....BJ

[Jolene]

Hi everyone!

Another thread set me thinking as I read it and the many additions and responses to it. I understand that there are many of you out there in happy marriages, with support or at least tolerance of dressing activity flowing from your wives. Me, being single, have no perspective on what that might be like for the CD or their wives, except what is stated in these threads.

Simply put, my question is this: What is the average woman's response/reaction when made aware of their partners/boyfriends crossdressing. Understanding and time are key elements it seems, for the SO, in coming to terms with crossdressing, so if its all right, I would like to gain insight into what initial reactions are and, if its not too much bother, whether expectations change and how so?

It would be great to hear from women rather than the crossdressers, since that view is direct and first-hand. I don't mean to sound rude or be rude, just a sincere attempt to try and understand how women deal with an important person in their lives telling them, "honey, let me wear the skirts in this relationship!"

Love,
Sonia

P.S. 1: I can't seem to get myself to call them genetic girls, I don't understand the concept. They are girls/women/ladies and we will be guys! For the transsexuals among us, on completion of SRS, they are women too.

P.S. 2: I AM VERY SORRY IF I HAVE BEEN POLITICALLY INCORRECT OR HAVE IN ANY WAY OFFENDED ANYONE. It was not intentional nor deliberate.
That is a good post. I am single here as well so would not know how a woman would respond to her man dressing. I worry about the day my family finds out about me .... Jolene

[Jolene]

Honest is still the best thing. You don't have to remember the lye. So if you can, be up front. That's my advice and the advice of several of the other girls on the forum....BJ
Yes honesty is the best. I just would have such a hard time telling anyone..........Jolene