Ceera
08-11-2017, 12:11 AM
As I get more and more comfortable with living as my feminine side, I have noticed that I am getting less and less comfortable with walking through the 'male' sections of clothing stores like Macy's or JC Penney's.
Just the other day, my daughter and I went to dinner at a mall restaurant, with me in male mode. My daughter is wonderfully supportive of my feminine side and she is happy to go out with me in either presentation. But last night was my 60th birthday, and I had wanted to go to dinner in the mode that matched my legal ID, in case the restaurant wanted to check my age for birthday perks.
We had a fine meal, and afterward I decided we should walk a lap through the mall before it closed. Not so much to shop - though we did buy a few things - but more to get some exercise and to walk off the meal and drinks before driving home. Our first leg took us on a loop through the JC Penney's store, going through Juniors, then shoes, then menswear, then plus size women's wear, then past Sephora cosmetics, and finally out past the clearance sale Misses section. We kind of went around the jewelry and purses sections, keeping to the outer walkway. As we went through menswear, I laughed and commented to my daughter that my mental conversation with myself was, "Really? Why are we bothering with this department There's nothing we want here!". And I also noticed I was experiencing much the same sense of unease that most cis-gender males would feel walking through the women's intimate apparel section. A feeling of, "I don't belong here."
I'm not living full time as a female, yet. But 90% or more of my social time and more than half of the rest of the time I am en-femme, and 90% or more of my clothing and shoes now are either female apparel, or are arguably unisex items from the women's department, or are things sold to either gender, like gender-neutral t-shirts. Even in 'male presentation', if there is a female item I can wear that will not scream 'women's clothes', I am likely to wear that item instead of an actual male item of apparel. The last time I bought any male clothes or shoes was to pick up a couple male dress shirts for a job interview.
The girl in me just keeps getting stronger... My GG friends who know me as Ceera almost universally agree that they see me as female now. Even when I comment that, for example, I don't like pulling my hair back in a pony tail because I feel it makes my face look 'too male', they disagree and comment that all they see when they look at me is a female.
Just the other day, my daughter and I went to dinner at a mall restaurant, with me in male mode. My daughter is wonderfully supportive of my feminine side and she is happy to go out with me in either presentation. But last night was my 60th birthday, and I had wanted to go to dinner in the mode that matched my legal ID, in case the restaurant wanted to check my age for birthday perks.
We had a fine meal, and afterward I decided we should walk a lap through the mall before it closed. Not so much to shop - though we did buy a few things - but more to get some exercise and to walk off the meal and drinks before driving home. Our first leg took us on a loop through the JC Penney's store, going through Juniors, then shoes, then menswear, then plus size women's wear, then past Sephora cosmetics, and finally out past the clearance sale Misses section. We kind of went around the jewelry and purses sections, keeping to the outer walkway. As we went through menswear, I laughed and commented to my daughter that my mental conversation with myself was, "Really? Why are we bothering with this department There's nothing we want here!". And I also noticed I was experiencing much the same sense of unease that most cis-gender males would feel walking through the women's intimate apparel section. A feeling of, "I don't belong here."
I'm not living full time as a female, yet. But 90% or more of my social time and more than half of the rest of the time I am en-femme, and 90% or more of my clothing and shoes now are either female apparel, or are arguably unisex items from the women's department, or are things sold to either gender, like gender-neutral t-shirts. Even in 'male presentation', if there is a female item I can wear that will not scream 'women's clothes', I am likely to wear that item instead of an actual male item of apparel. The last time I bought any male clothes or shoes was to pick up a couple male dress shirts for a job interview.
The girl in me just keeps getting stronger... My GG friends who know me as Ceera almost universally agree that they see me as female now. Even when I comment that, for example, I don't like pulling my hair back in a pony tail because I feel it makes my face look 'too male', they disagree and comment that all they see when they look at me is a female.