FM feels like a M being a FM?

[QueenVesper]

Question. So I have been trying to figure some shit out. So, real talk (and I do not mean to offend, I am trying to figure out how to explain it in a respectful way.) I used to be a drag King. I loved it. Then I started doing burlesque where in my head I would pretend to be a man who was pretending to be a woman. I feel the most comfortable when I think of myself this way. So wigs for the sake of being more Dolly like, over the top makeup and padding/ corsets. I guess I am in a weird state of redoing my life and I am not sure how to explain this feeling. I have felt this way for a solid 10 years but did not know how to address it. What would you even call this? I am not sure if me posting this is a really bad idea. I also know gender is not binary, but for some reason the man being a woman really resonates me with. I am not saying this is correct.

I know I come from a position of luck (is that the word?) To be a white biological female and thus am treated better than so many people. I just can't shake this feeling of wanting to dress in "drag" ( sorry not sure if this is correct) with a prosthetic penis. I walk around in padding and a wig at home and have been using a sock in my underwear.

Basically I feel like I am in s totally strange place where I feel like my existence offends so many people and I have no one to relate to.

[mykell]

hi Queenie,
weird is what we do....to me if it feels good and isnt hurting anyone why sweat it.

now ive come to realize that im me no matter how i dress but my preferred fashion is that opposite my gender. you may want to explore in the non-binary section of the forum. i think you could find some interesting and common perspective from the folks that water theyre.

oh welcome to the group.....this is a comfortable place for us to share and learn about ourselves....

[QueenVesper]

I was not sure where to start. I feel like my gender is pretty binary. I feel strongly like a man... But a man who dresses like a woman.

[mykell]

well we have something in common, men who dress like women....my difference is im genetically male.... a gal i have befriended tells me im a lesbian....i think if i were born female that i would of preferred dating women....

[RADER]

Have you ever seen the Movie "Victor-Victoria"
You just might fit in there.
Most of us here like to dress in the opposite Sex clothes.
In some ways you have it a lot harder; IE face hair, size
of your arms, etc. Men can do some concealing, but females
have to try and add shapes.
Do not feel bad, most of us here understand what you are
doing. Being born in the wrong sex is a hard thing to deal with;
but deal with we do.
Rader

PS; Welcome to the forum.

[QueenVesper]

Well now I want to cry. In a good way. I have been feeling very isolated and depressed because I hate my skin. I feel like it is crawling and betraying me. I used to box and last week started lifting again. My instructor is pretty open-minded so I think I could be fairly honest with my end goals.

Thank you for the movie suggestion!

I am really amazed at how welcoming everyone is being. Thank you.

[Vickie_CDTV]

There are GGs who like doing drag, "faux queens", so it isn't unheard of. I even once knew an F2M who did drag sometimes, so you are not completely unique.

[QueenVesper]

Whoot! I am not a unicorn! I love it.

[Dana44]

I would try the non binary TG forum. We already have a an FM there. It is a good area to find yourself. Welcome to the site QueenVesper.

[Aunt Kelly]

QueenVesper,

Each of us (as in every living human being) is different, but we all have far more in common than we have genuinely unique traits. Some of yours may be less common than most, but as you've seen, here you fit right in. :) We understand the complexity of the feelings you're having, or we can at least relate to them.
I'll echo Dana's invite to the non-binary forum. Your contributions will certainly be welcome, and you might find some members with insights better aligned with your (just slightly more) unique nature.

Hugs,


Kelly

[mistunderstood]

I have found for me that things are not one or the other. When I first started out I was a strait male. Then I thought I was a gay male. Now I feel like a person who is bi. I now realize I want different things in my realationships. Like I want to date women and be in a long term relationship with them. If I would be with a man I want the relationship to be more of a one night stand kind of thing. Sometimes I like to put on make-up just to play. When I do use make-up I look like I am in drag.
I guess what I am saying is if it feels good and you are having fun then go with it. What ever you do just work it. It is not wrong. Do not feel shame. Thing are never black and white.