Overtly Out

[kimdl93]

I've lived for most of the past 4 years in a really nice, highly rated RV park. Sounds weird, but a lot of people do, most of our residents are permanent, some working, others retired.

A few years ago, as a new resident, I took evening strolls....twighlight or later...and if you check back, I related an experience being questioned by a constable. Evidently someone objected to the tranny in the RV park. Actually, that event worked out well, and the policeman advised me not to worry about future complaints. Other than inadvertently stepping in front of the lights of my neighbor's pickup while fully dressed, I really haven't had any significant encounters with other residents.

Maybe I should leave well enough alone, but I pay good money to live here. The grounds are lovely and frankly, I get a little stir crazy stuck inside, even in the texas heat.

well, I've made my first deliberate effort to come out to the folks here. I was siting on my patio with my dog and a glass of wine, when a friendly older lady walked by. Another permanent resident and we have a common interest in the stray dog that frequents our park. tonight I was wearing my wig, breast forms, and of course an casual summer outfit.

She asked what I'd done to my hair, said she liked it and our conversation proceeded as though nothing was different. And really nothing was....I just showed a part of myself that I'd been hiding. Hoping for more of the same from other residents!

[Elizabeth G]

Hi Kim,

Good for you! I hope all of your 'outings' go as well.

Elizabeth

[Tracy Irving]

Very nice story. I hope your future encounters go as well as this one. Looking forward to some updates.

[kimdl93]

I have to confess, I was a little surprised at how much of a non-event this proved to be. She immediately asked what I'd done with my hair, but from that point on the conversation was indistinguishable from many others before. I don't know for sure, but I suspect that the "word" has gotten around among the permanent residents. I've picked up packages en femme at the office, and in doing so was "out" to at least three admin staff. No adverse feedback there either.

[Rachael Leigh]

Kim I think most overthink how most will react to us when we are out dressed, I've found most I interact with just go with
the flow. I think most people don't really care. Once most people realize we aren't some kind of pervert but just regular folk
it just becomes normal
Thanks for sharing

[kimdl93]

Normal is nice :)

[Suzie Petersen]

Did you tell her what you did to your hair?
Like ... "I put it on!"

- Suzie

[kimdl93]

LOL, when she said it looked great, i left well enough alone!

[Jean 103]

You have history with these people, even if it may have been limited. I'm sure you will find most people are very understanding or just don't care. Their are just people . It's not rocket science, just smile and make small talk, as you did. Yes it will get around , that work in your favor.

[kimdl93]

I'd prefer to be totally "out" here. Maybe this is the first meaningful step.

[Aunt Kelly]

Rachel's right. Unless they're complete boors, most people will respond according to how we present ourselves. They're not "fooled", but most decent people will avoid making a normal interaction awkward. So keep it normal. Confidence and a winning smile just plain disarms whatever uneasiness people might feel. It's amazing.

[kimdl93]

Its a little wierd to imagine what other people are thinking about me... Which reminds me of what a friend once advised:

Other people's opinion of you is none of your business!

And in the long run, well, there is no long run. I may live here a couple more years, but my retirement plans will take me much farther north!

[Teresa]

Kim,
As you can see in my reply in " Popping up like mushrooms, " they may not know for certain, so mostly they could be thinking am I right or wrong, or i the couples case talking aloud . We have to remember some may not have seen a CDer before so they don't know what to expect , especially in a public place . They have an image mostly from screwed up media ones so they will look not because they are being rude but they questioning themselves .

I'm so glad you've found Kim again, normal and natural is nice and being accepted as such is a great lift .

[Dana44]

Nice story KIm, You did well in that talk and even though you was somewhat fem, I think she was being friendly with you and that is a good sign.

[Jeri Ann]

Normal is nice :)

Hey Kim,

You have been resisting your "normal" for way too long trying to be someone or something else. You obviously have come to grips with that and allowing Kim a shot at life. As a result, happiness, peace and contentment are oozing from your words now. I'm glad.

Only five days until we meet! Finally.

[Laura912]

What Jeri Ann said. I am happy this is working. But...there is this little annoying thought that whoever complained once may still be around, and how the encounter with them will go is up for grabs. Just take that guard dog with you.

[alwayshave]

Kim, Congratulations on you next step on coming out.

[Angie G]

You go girl hope you make your goal hun.:hugs:
Angie

[kimdl93]

What Jeri Ann said. I am happy this is working. But...there is this little annoying thought that whoever complained once may still be around, and how the encounter with them will go is up for grabs. Just take that guard dog with you.

I do feel a bit like I've gotten a "get out of jail" card. Its entirely possible that person (or persons!) are still here. Of course, after that disconcerting episode, I made it a point to continue my evening strolls, relying on the constables assurances. I should probably have written a thank you to the local police for the understanding and courtesy...and willingness to listen!

Jeri Ann, you're right...the past 23 months have been difficult. I feels as though a weight has been lifted simply by the act of allowing myself to be myself.

[CarlaWestin]

And then suddenly, Carla starts thinking about retiring to a mobile home park. Can you buy two of them side by side?

[kimdl93]

Technically, its an RV park. A Good Sam "10" rated park. I live in one of the more humble RVs here. Some of the units that come through here depreciate the equivalent of my annual income each year!!!

[Tracy Irving]

And then suddenly, Carla starts thinking about retiring to a mobile home park. Can you buy two of them side by side?

Yeah, would need a double wide. One to live in and another to convert to a closet.

The only problem with trailer parks is the magnetic attraction they have to tornadoes.

[kimdl93]

I probably won't retire here....I just didn't want to live in an apartment, nor have a whole house to myself. As for tornadoes, I've advised my kids that if one does happen, I'll do the only reasonable thing: Got witch hunting!!!

[Tracii G]

Kim a lot of us have been saying for years just be yourself.
You just had that moment of discovery where you came in contact with some neighbor that doesn't care if you are different they look at you as a nice neighbor.
It is so hard for some people here to just let go and leave their fear behind but you have done that and it does feel good as you found out.
I feel like I'm not getting thru to some here that its all up to them to let go and be themselves and not what someone else to decide for you.

[Nikki A.]

It seems to me that initially many people will view us with a little distrust at first. However once they see that you're just being yourself, and are a good person who dresses differently they will accept you.
When I first started to attend the church that I now attend, there were people who initially kept their distance from me. However, after becoming a regular, and interacting and being just me, I find that the people who were initially cool to me have been coming up and being friendly to me.

[CONSUELO]

Great story Kim. You should invite that friendly lady to sit on your patio with you and share a glass with you.

[fullofwish]

That's a really positive development! Go you.

I started getting the courage to go smoke outside my building while dressed and of course it wasn't long before I started bumping into some of my neighbours. None of them reacted strangely, looked at me weirdly or said anything unpleasant. They just acted normal. It was really lovely. I genuinely think that a good deal of the people out there just don't care: most people are too wrapped up in their own shit to bother too much about others!

[kimdl93]

I have lived here 4 years and I know this older lady very well. We both have a soft spot for a stray dog that frequents the park, and she often stops by with her dog to say hello. Also, she once served on the board of the non-profit I run, which originated as an HIV service provider....so I knew her heart was in the right place. I figured if I was going to reintroduce myself here, she was a natural starting point.

BTW, I did offer her a glass of wine, but she's getting up there...(even compared to me) and no longer indulges in wine.

Traci, you're right of course. Its much easier to be yourself (once you got that figured out) than it is to change yourself to fit other people's expectations. I've contributed to some of those expectations, so this is a bit of an undoing process.

[Suzanne1]

Well it's nice to see so much positive , but I don't want anyone to have to deal with negatives, so I'll just put this out there. Cape Charles Va. Is a small town on The Eastern Shore, it fell apart when the CBBT bridge was built. It was a slum c shooting gallery (drugs) for many years. The people that stayed enticed many gays to move in who quickly cleaned the place up and have turned it into a new beginning, however now it is felt they don't need the gay community anymore and have be squeezing us out.
I was recently told while in my girl clothes I could not use the ladies rooms in the clubs anymore. Some woman who moved here two years ago has taken over and will totally harass any TGs or crossdressers that visit here. 45yrs here and it's time to move on.

[kimdl93]

Well, I wonder how the delightful new group of bigots will like their community after the undesirables move away and take their good manners, style and money with them? Maybe its time for a little march in Cape Charles?

[Krisi]

Kim, I'm glad you seem to have found peace by coming out in your neighborhood. It's hard to get over that hump where we worry about what others think about us.

As for neighborhoods, historically, neighborhoods change. In my city, what was once the best neighborhood to live in is now the "hood" and strangers don't go there at night. At some point it will be torn down and the homes replaced and it will be a good neighborhood again. These cycles usually take eighty years or more.

Suzanne, Does the person who told you not to use the ladies room have any authority to do so? What are the laws in VA? Unless it's illegal, I suggest ignoring her. As far as harassment, harass back. You don't have to take it and you don't have to be driven out of your own town.

BTW: I visited Cape Charles a few years ago and it seemed like a lovely place.

- - - Updated - - -

Kim, I was thinking about you situation last night and I think you've come up with the perfect situation for a crossdresser.

Your home has wheels so you can live as a crossdresser (or woman) and if you get a bunch of grief from your neighbors or the park management, you can just unplug your home and drive away to a new neighborhood. It's much easier than trying to sell a conventional house.

You seem to be accepted where you are and that's good but just keep the ignition key handy.

[kimdl93]

Actually, Krisi, I think you're right. I could quite easily live my life moving from RV park to RV Park to State Park...etc. In fact, its rather an appealing concept. I'm certainly on the last leg professionally speaking, and I could easily see myself moving from park to park as a woman. Acceptance...or at least avoidance of intolerance is literally only minutes away.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

The only problem with trailer parks is the magnetic attraction they have to tornadoes.

Easy. You just need enough ballast. Buy as much clothing and shoes as possible.