As you Age, how do your Feelings about Dressing Change... if at all?

[Lacy PJs]

Probably about five or six years ago, I posted here mentioning that I found it kind of hard to talk to others here about my crossdressing interests. I'm not sure that I'll ever change my attitude about talking to someone in person (other than my wonderful wife) but I've noticed that, over the years, my feelings have changed regarding interactions here on crossdressers.com.

I don't have anyone on my Friends list here because I didn't think I wanted to get "friendly" with anyone about wearing lingerie, gowns & robes or my favorite, baby doll pajamas. If I throw in an occasional leotard & tights ensemble, that is about the extent of my dressing interests. But lately, I feel like I can be more open about my interests... at least here, among other like-minded people. I'm curious if anyone else has noticed a change in their feelings after having been here for a while.

Perhaps it's retirement and the lessened fear of repercussion should someone find out that I sleep in girly pajamas. Or, perhaps it's that as I've aged, I'm leaning more and more towards "so what?" Maybe it is the society that we live in today... I don't know. But with constant bombardment about how one should do his/her own thing or the seemingly constant news about gender issues, perhaps I've become a little more liberal in my views. Or maybe, just maybe, it's an increasing (yet not overwhelming) interest in others' experiences. I really don't know but my attitude HAS CHANGED. Whether that is a good or bad thing remains to be seen.

So... have your attitudes changed about interactions with others ref. your crossdressing activities ad time has passed by? If so, how? I (and perhaps others) would like to know.

Lacy PJs

P. S. I was looking at some of the visitors' messages left by people who stopped by my page and... in looking back now, wish I would have responded to them at the time they were left.

[marlacd]

To an extent, yes. I waffle some. With me, other things tend to make me sideline my dressing for a while. Work, summer recreation, I bought a big new scooter to play with.

Heck, this is life, and we don't get a do-over. Everyone tunes their interests, why shouldn't we?

[Nikki A.]

I dress more often, go out on an almost weekly basis to church and grocery shopping etc. As I get older I want to be able to express this side of me. The risks are less in regards to my job so if someone finds out so be it. It is a part of who I am, I enjoy doing it and as my circle grows I get more comfortable doing it.

[Rachael Leigh]

Lacy I've now been here going on 4 years and yes I've changed a lot I came here thinking I would come here to show folks
here that it's ok being who we are yet I never had been out but desired it. I got lots of support posted pictures and somewhere along the way I changed and now I go out weekly, interact with different people when I'm out and I don't pass
all that well but I'm out and I'm being me. So I think yes we change as we get older and from support from here.

Your enjoyment of baby dolls and cute lingerie is cute and fun so enjoy it we are all different

[Joni T]

At 62 I don't have the urge I did 10 or 20 years ago. I feel that the 2-3 hours it takes to get ready can better be used elsewhere. I don't miss dressing nearly as much as I usta'.
Jon

[Rachelakld]

I'm getting more comfortable with this aspect of me, I have however always enjoyed interacting with others while in girl mode (male mode is introvert)

[Becky Blue]

Generally as one ages one gets more comfortable with themselves so perhaps you are becoming more accepting of yourself Lacy?

My feelings changed at 40 and have been up and down and back and forth since then. I do know a lot of girls whose urges to dress have grown stronger as they age.

[Teri Ray]

I figure I stall have the same urge to dress now as always. But like others I find I tend to desire to dress more to blend than stand out. Also my life situation has changed from DADT to my wife being much more open about my dressing. So no its daily underdressing and open chats with my wife. I feel so much more at ease and happy that I no longer need to be secretive about my dressing with my wife. I do not fully dress more often now but I am much happier now.

[Helen_Highwater]

I joined this forum in 2010 and it's been a catalyst for my dressing. I've been inspired by the exploits of others and year on year I've expanded my own envelope of experiences. Age to has played it's part and my confidence has increased as time passes.

I do think there's a deal of truth in the idea that as we get older we care less and less about what the world thinks of us. Perhaps it's the realisation that our available time is now diminishing (cheerful thought that eh!). I certainly don't want to get to the end of my days carrying regrets about what could have been.

I think one thing that does happen is that as we accumulate "flying hours", dressing becomes to feel ever more the norm. Wearing a skirt now just feels absolutely normal and comfortable and I feel that it's simply part and parcel of what I do/am.

Going out added a new dimension to things and there's still that little rush and heightened expectation when setting forth. If meeting muggles while out there I'm confident in simply treating the interchange exactly the same as I would as if in drab. So yes I think that with age comes experience and the combination makes for confidence.

[Karen RHT]

In my younger days, my wife and my career were my focus, and took up the vast majority of my time. I believed and also told my friends and family that when I retired, that would be the time to pursue hobbies. My crossdressing was secretly encoded into the word "hobbies."

I've been retired just over 5 years now, and I've enjoyed exploring my wants and needs as a crossdresser. I've also adopted and followed the "who cares" mantra more than I ever have.


Karen

[Jaylyn]

I am aging it seems faster than ever in my life. I have learned to slow down some after retiring and enjoy my life more. I'm in my late 60s and I don't have to care about what others think of me as much. I'm still not out but it's because I promised my I wouldn't go that far. I am finding that my body has changed and the softer feeling materials feel better on my thinning skin. Hose feels nice against my legs, my panties feel better on my butt than my cotton shorts and etc. I guess I'm somewhat more mellow thinking now but don't mind talking about what I like as much. Wife says I'm getting too blunt about answering questions, but I feel don't ask me if you don't want my two cents.
I think the one thing that I have changed with age is my opinion is the only one that matters, now I'm more laid back and an easier going fellow. I visit with several on here and actually enjoy visiting now more than I have in the past. Maybe it's because we are all of the same feelings and interests.

[Elizabeth G]

As I age my feeling towards dressing are affected about the same way as my feelings towards a lot of other things. I worry less about what others think and am more comfortable with just being myself. My desire to dress is as strong as ever, maybe even more so especially since my wife now knows and I don't have to stress over my little secret.

[NicoleScott]

A few years ago Jaylyn and I exchanged PMs and discovered we have much in common with our crossdressing preferences. Of course, the more we drill down into the details, the more we see differences as well, which is what makes us (all of us) unique. We also discovered we have much in common apart from crossdressing, and I'd guess that our discussions continue to be balanced between dressing and not. I'm sure we'll never meet, but I think we're both happy to be forum friends. We don't PM daily or weekly....just when we want to ask or share something. The anonymity (we don't know each other's real identity, nor do we need to) allows discussions we can't have with our in-person relationships.
As for posting, I tell it like it is, seeing no upside for deception, exaggeration, or sugar-coating.

[Stephanie47]

As a retiree I have had more alone time to express myself. When my wife works I get up to seven hours of Stephanie time, which is spent productively doing domestics chores, cooking and baking, etc. When I was younger with kids around femme time was characterized as "grabbing crumbs of time." It drove me nuts. I can see the angst in many threads where someone does not have ample time to be en femme. It almost seems as if the person is tormented.

The biggest factor in being retired is my source of income is secure. I don't have to worry about losing $$$ or status in the workplace. I also have a lot of other interests that do not appeal to Stephanie. I keep my male and female interests compartmentalized.

[Lana Mae]

Only started at 65, earlier was not sure what was going on! My attitude is go with the flow! Making up for lost time! Hugs Lana Mae

[Jenny22]

My aging amplified my desire / need to get out of the closet and do something as my femme self in interacting with normals. I've now done it several times with a forum sister(s). She has other real life interests, now, and has moved on, so to speak. I need another Orange County, California sister or three to help me get out more. I'm not ready to do it alone. If you are one who would wan to meet me, please PM me.

[Steph65]

I have changed my thinking. Life is too short and too much hate to worry what other people think. The way the world is today and more and more people are coming out being who ever they want to be and not what society dictates they should be have to be or anything else. I am working every day to be more fem and more woman like. If I had the chance I would totally trans. I do not care any more if my neighbour notices I have heels on or a bra or a skirt or what ever. I have to make myself happy and not please anyone else.

[ClosetED]

I don't think numerical age is as important as competing responsibilities like family and work. In my years here, I find I learned about other forms of CDing. I had thought there were TS, those using it for sexual release, and then men who wanted to look like women. But there are many who are fine with being a MIAD and in public. Some who focus on on certain types of clothing - bra or panties or leather or leotards.
As I became more comfortable with my own CDing, I did offer more comments and less lurking. I saw some come and go with strong opinions - I tried to offer an alternate view to consider as I learned my world view was incomplete. Society has become more accepting but there is still a long way to go before we can choose to wear a suit and tie or dress and heels to work this morning.
Seeing how many thousands of members and guests this site attracts, and many do not even know about this site, shows how common we are and that feels nice.
Hugs, Ellen

[Jenn A116]

Over the years my desire to dress hasn't really changed. Yes, it waxes and wanes but overall the level is the same. Now that I'm retired I have more opportunity to dress, simply because I don't have to go to work 5 days a week.

[Gillian Gigs]

My feelings about dressing have changed very much. As I have gotten older dressing has more to do with the clothes and the comfort that comes from the clothes. There was a strong sexual aspect to dressing when I was younger that is not there now in the same way. There are days now that I get dressed (skirt, nylons, blouse) in the morning and wear the them all day long. I have a posture support bra that I quite often wear all day long also, surprisingly enough it helps.

[carhill2mn]

Yes, my attitudes have changed. Since I am retired and live alone I no longer worry much about being seen en femme or found out. It s much more enjoyable and less stressful. Thus,I present en femme about 90% of the time.

[DIANEF]

I have found in recent years the desire and opportunity to dress has increased significantly, for example looking at old diaries in some years I had as few as 5 or 6 dress days in a year. In the past 12 months I have had 77, and would still have liked many more. It is also almost exactly one year since I joined this forum, and have found it to be a great place to communicate with like minded people and feel like part of a 'community' instead of being isolated. Some have said they now care less about what others think, I too am leaning that way though I would still like to be more open about my dressing.

[AKKaren]

Sigh.....
All I have to do anymore is look in the mirror......reality check

[Dana44]

It wasn't until I retired or semi retired and found a good GF that accepts me. I dress far more now and so enjoy it. It seems that now is better time as forty or fifty years ago. It has been a long road to get to this point. Yes this site has helped a lot of us figure ourselves out and where we fit in the transgender area.

[Georgina]

As I age my attitude to the clothes hasn't changed. I still get as excited about a new dress, skirt, stockings, etc. as I always have. I have been dressing for over 55 years and make up was never an important fact. I do make up occasionally but not often. I dress every day after work always complete but no make up. It therefore only takes slightly longer than male clothes as I always wear stockings and a girdle. A few family members know and I now worry a lot less about being caught. My attitude is if I am dressed properly in either male or female clothes, why should it matter?

[Cheryl T]

As I've grown older I've become bolder and over the last 10 or so years it's become WTF.
I don't really care what others think or say, even the neighbors, so I just go about my business and enjoy life so much more than I did when I was so concerned about hiding who I am.

[oh to be rachel]

I'm in my 60s and have had a pink flu for as long as I can remember.

But if I'd acted on this when I was in my 20's at 5'9" and 135 scrawny guy, I'd very likely be a woman by now.

[Bobbi46]

Respect for others feelings for sure and dressing appropriately for age and style go a long way. Why stand out like a sore thumb when you can blend in with what's around you.

[sometimes_miss]

Hmmm. Age 7 to about 15, guilt and confusion, with added terror at being found out even though I desperately wanted a girl to find out and accept me. After that, as I found out more about myself, the guilt part gradually decreased but never completely went away. Through early adulthood to middle age, I gradually stopped crossdressing as my social life erupted, and women were finally available to me. I felt that I either had 'beaten it', and didn't need to crossdress anymore, or maybe it was just a phase I went through because of my being abused as a kid. I really thought it was all behind me. But after a few years of marriage, and all the stress, the alienation from my wife, the desire to crossdress came back with a vengeance, and the strong desire has been with me ever since. Having studied psychology through much of my life at that point, I understood that it wasn't my fault (alleviated the guilt part mostly), and the confusion was gone, because I had figured out what had caused the desire to crossdress. But the sadness of knowing how much society frowned on it, the knowledge that there were so few women out there that aren't completely turned off by it, made me unhappy, and that sticks with me. I can't call it major depression, I still manage to go about all my normal daily activities, rarely feel the need to cry at my predicament, but there's always this lingering feeling of loss, as I go from relationship to relationship, and eventually having to break it off, because I've found out that the woman I'm seeing thinks that we're all perverts. As our current great communicator so often says, most of the time I just feel a little bit sad.

[Bobbi46]

Another thought comes to mind and that is the ever deeper understanding and compassion of our lives as we get older. Situations whatever sort they may be have a different nuance all of there own. Everyday things become much more important than they were before and friendships become precious as well also my dressing has taken on a deeper meaning and appreciation as I get more deeper involved our world.

[Lacy PJs]

Thanks to all of you for your many replies. As some of you have also mentioned, I do feel that I'm more accepting of myself and my occasional dabbling in dressing. But I'm even more surprised at how my attitudes have changed about others here as a group. Initially, I was hoping to only find out where I could get certain things to further enjoy MY dressing and other things along those lines. But as I've been here longer, I now feel like I'm more ready to actually chat/talk with others about dressing... at least to the extent that I want to dress.

And, honestly speaking, I was a little fearful of how someone might interpret a complimentary remark that I might make. A comment like, "You have great looking legs," might be seen as my coming on to someone and I didn't want that at all. Even something like "Hugs..." or "Sweetie..." made me uncomfortable as I didn't want someone coming on to me. Through the friendship of a great guy who happens to be gay, I've learned a great deal of respect for that community but that road has no appeal to me whatsoever. Yet, as has been discussed here many times, the first thought that comes to most people's minds when they think of crossdressing is "He must be gay..." I don't know if it is the age thing, the exposure or what but I feel like I've gone beyond that and now would feel far more comfortable in complimenting someone or chatting privately about aspect of dressing or even articles of clothing.

To those of you who have stopped by my profile page, left a visitor message or issued a friend request, I hope you now better understand why those requests went unanswered. But I've changed and perhaps times have changed too. I think I'd handle those situations totally differently today.

Anyone want to talk about vintage baby doll pajamas or leotards? (I would have NEVER posted something like this comment when I first came here :) )

Lacy PJs

[Fiona123]

Age (62) and some reading, therapy, this website and the internet has led me to accept and understand myself as transgender.