Does wearing a suit and tie impact on how you feel?

[Becky Blue]

I have been a bit quiet on here of late, there is an interesting reason for it

I usually dress very casually at work (in drab sighhhh) jeans, casual shirts etc. But last week had to wear a suit and tie for most of the week. Strangely I felt very uncomfortable and very male. I could not bring myself to login here and could not get into my usual 'Becky way of mind'.
In my usual casual clothes a feel relaxed and very gender neutral in my mind and often slip into Beckyland as I call it. Wearing the suit and tie felt so limiting and so unnatural and so male.

My question is - Does the way you dress in Drab impact on how you feel?

[SaraLin]

I have turned down good paying jobs because they required me to wear a tie. I hate them. It feels like I'm being strangled. (maybe I was hung as a horse thief in a past life???:heehee:)

I'm not sure it made me feel more MALE... just very uncomfortable.

[Samm]

Absolutely. I was just talking to my wife about this. We just had 2 weddings the past 2 weekends to attend. As they were relatively casual, I did not wear a tie. Just dress pants, shirt and shoes. I told my wife that out of all the outfits she has seen me in, the wedding attire were the ones that felt like a costume to me. I also notice that my everyday male mode tee shirts never seem to fit right. But the girly ones do.

[suzy1]

Actually for me no. I am Suzy in my head and always have been although I did not realize it when I was younger.
I did a thread here the other day about being a lesbian trapped in a mans body which got ‘mixed reviews’? :confused2:
We are all diferant. Some just like to dress and need that to feel fem and some are a mix of male and female despite the physical side of our bodies. I think as Suzy even when doing manly things, I am just me.
Going to get lambasted again. :eek:

Isn't life fun :)

[kimdl93]

I don't know if the suit changes the way I feel...that would be kinda weird. I do't necessarily feel like a business man in a business suit or a cowboy when I wear boots. I just feel like my same old self.

[Laura912]

Before retiring, wore a tie everyday. Afterwards, the throat ropes have been thinned to a favorite few. Suits come out once or twice a year and usually accompanied by grumbling to my wife about why can't I dress like her. Guess that is the price for being mixed gender.

[marlacd]

Suits, are suits, are suits. Ever notice that suits look good standing- but sit down in them, and they look awful. Those pants ride up, looking like they don't fit you. One teacher I had in high school, wore a suit every day- with white socks. Buy one, and chances are very good it will be in style-forever. Yes, I feel different when wearing a suit- standing. Sit in it, and I feel like I'm wearing one that doesn't fit. I also feel very male- and uncomfortable.

I think men's tees are made very cheaply- and short. I've seen those tapered tees, I'd like to try one, but I can't convince myself that $30+ for one is worth it.

[Cassiek]

Underdressing is always an option. In the pats I have been known to wear a really cute and sexy chemise with garters and stockings under my suit. Besides what's wrong with having a little fun playing the hot sexy executive once in a while

[Krisi]

I act differently when dressed up. I wouldn't work on my car in a suit and tie and I wouldn't go to a funeral in jeans and a T shirt. I dress for the circumstance, not the other way around.

Interesting story: I used to wear dress clothes and a tie to work. Visitors to the building (wearing suits and ties) would wave and say "good morning" or "hello". Occasionally, I would have "dirty work" planned so I would wear jeans and a work shirt. On those occasions, I couldn't help but notice that the same group of visitors would look at the floor or away when they passed me in the hall.

[Judy-Somthing]

I think it's funny!
When ever there's a gathering of people where you get dressed up,

The women all dress up in beautiful dresses of all different styles and colors.
The men wear basically all the same thing, a suite all most always black. Well at least they can go a little crazy with the tie!

[Karen RHT]

Suits aren't my favourites. Wore them for years because they were expected, and at times, demanded. Never did like the idea that others expected or demanded me to dress a certain way, still don't. I'm male and don't have a problem with that. Whatever I'm wearing doesn't change or alter the fact that I'm male, and I'm fine with that.


Karen

[Tracy Irving]

I only wear suits when the occasion calls for it but I have absolutely no problem doing so. I feel like a better version of me when I do.

[GretchenM]

Dressing in drab rarely makes me feel any different. But a suit and tie and all fancied up in pure masculine? It becomes a war. I have never liked those monkey suits and the older I got the more I disliked them. When I do have to wear a suit I often have to brush all the dust off the dark blue jacket or I will look like I just walked out of a the prep room in a bakery. It is the tie that really triggers the animosity. Without a tie is just uncomfortable. But the moment I put that tie around my neck and tuck it under the collar of my shirt the bombs are dropped and exploding everywhere. Once I tried putting on a necklace just to see what would happen. Nothing happened. Took it off, put on the tie, and I had to duck and cover.

[Jaylyn]

Most definitely Becky it impacts the way I feel. I feel strangled in suits and ties. I told my wife she had better not bury me in one or I would come back and haunt her. I hate suits just to be point on about them. I love my wranglers, bots and shirts ( which are now mostly Columbia Fishing shirts) they are way cooler working but do have draw backs when working in brush. I don't think my work clothes have an impact on my labor on the farm. Let's face it you can work in high heels in the sand and grass burrs. I do have a change of attitude when I dress in my soft dresses or my panties and the frilly things. I think we all do that. I feel excited to almost anxious about dressing. The drab I have work in just comes with the job. Good high top boots to keep the burrs and rattlers away and good socks to comfortably make it thru the day are just a way of life out here. Suits unless your the preacher or banker are not worn very much. I even wear my newest wranglers n a long sleeve shirt to Church but will throw a jacket over the shirt for funerals and such. It definantly impacts how I feel. I'm still me under neath but my clothes set the tone of how I am supposed to act and feel.

[Julie Denier]

Guess I'm the odd one here. I love wearing suits and ties. For work, I only need to wear them for conferences and trade shows, but I wouldn't have a problem if I had to wear them more often. Love a sharp suit with a great tie and a coordinating pocket square. Whether en femme or en dude, I love classic, polished looks.

[Sarasometimes]

Becky, I recently went to a wedding in a black suit and tie black socks and shoes with a tie to match my wife's lined lace gorgeous blue dress with silver shoes and I was feeling quite envious. I now just getting to a point where I can at times integrate a Sara state of mind with the outside appearing all male but it is still much a work in progress so I see where you are coming from.

Glad to have you back!

[CarleyR]

I only wear suits when the occasion calls for it but I have absolutely no problem doing so. I feel like a better version of me when I do.

I agree with Tracy. I guess I like to look good no matter what gender is being presented.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

It sounds obvious, but the secret to comfortable neckties is the collar size of the shirt. Measure your neck than add at least an inch, maybe even 2". You'll still look smart, but you'll be a lot happier.

[Cheryl T]

Yes, for sure !!
Wearing a suit and tie makes me feel like I'm going to the gallows. The noose is around my neck.
Generally this is only at weddings in my case which makes it even worse as I'm surrounded by women in all those beautiful dresses and I long to shed my shackles and spread my wings in something beautiful and flowing.

[Ressie]

Nikki^ is correct. Those that are complaining about being choked most likely need a larger size neck. Or, you can skip buttoning the top button. It won't show if your tie isn't loose. OTOH, too big a neck size won't look right either.

To me suits feel more like fem clothing than jeans & T shirt - because the material has polyester or even silk added. Ties have a silky feel to them too. I got a hug from a bride a few years ago and she loved the soft feel of my cotton suede sport jacket.

I've also noticed that when I wear a suit & tie more women look my way. I guess they equate that look with power, money etc. No, I'm not an attorney; far from it.

[Stephanie47]

Before I retired I worked across the desk from CPA's, attorneys and professional men and women. There was no written requirement to wear and suit and tie. I wore a dress shirt, tie, shined shoes and slacks. If I did wear a suit jacket/sport coat it would have been hanging in the corner of my office. I always wore solid color shirts..sometimes white, but rarely. I expressed how I felt getting out of bed through the ties I wore. Dressing professionally when dealing with professionals always had a positive impact on my mind. Women in my office dressed so casually it was insulting to the clients we dealt with. Some looked as if they were headed to the beach. Way to unprofessional. Dressing so casual usually undermined any authority which the clients perceived we had. I have preened my male wardrobe of dress shirts and ties. I still project how I feel any given day with the graphic tee shirts I wear.

The only nexus between how I dressed as a male with how I dress as a woman can be stated as "all in." I do not own any women's pants..anything with legs. It's always a pretty dress and heels with all the proper undergarments. I guess I slip quite easily between male role and female acting.

[Lana Mae]

As Daniel Webster said, "A necktie is a device of the Devil!" I feel like a stuffed shirt! Way too stuffy for me! Jeans and a tee shirt! Dress up male mode cargo pants and a button up shirt/pull over shirt! Suits are for funerals and weddings! Hugs Lana Mae

[Kayliedaskope]

"Work boots, one blue suit
Size too small, don't wear at all
Unless somebody kicks, gets hitched
Don't fit, makes me itch"
-Trace Adkins - Rough & Ready

I could never do a regular dress tie - as many others have said, it's like being strangled. However, getting all dressed up in western wear for a Saturday night dance, I have worn bolo ties, which are the official neckwear in Arizona.

Nothing wrong with wearing a suit, but I prefer a button-down and a nice pair of jeans.

[Linda E. Woodworth]

Sorry Girls but I'm with Tracey, Julie & Carley. I love looking good in a coat and tie. When I'm in male mode I want to look like a well groomed man.

I've never had a problem wearing ties. Wore them in grade school, high school and the Academy. They went with my uniform in the USN along with when ever I dressed up. I love the nice comments I get from women when I dress well. The Guard at the Federal Courthouse gave me a very nice compliment last week when I showed up in a coat and tie. I rivaled the attorney in the rumpled Sear Sucker Suit!

When it's enfemme I present as feminine as possible.

[Brandy Fromdaburg]

I hate wearing uniforms, and that is exactly what a suit is. They make me feel uncomfortable.

[Teresa]

Becky,
To me they were just a uniform, I had to wear a suit and tie for all my weddings over a thirty year period, the rest of the time I wore a shirt and tie with a sports jacket . It never bothered me I was being seen as the professional doing a paid job . Casual was never acceptable , you may start in the CEO's office for the brief and then I would slip on overalls , safety boots and hard hat to do the work. At the end of the day maybe go back to the CEO for a run down on the job. At weddings I always made sure I stood out as the professional, my equipment was Bronica with all the lenses in those days no amateur could compete, digital screwed the whole thing up, and the standard of photography suffered !

If you asked the question which I prefer , it's a no brainer, I'd much sooner be dressed and present as a woman .

[Sheila11]

I don't own a suit anymore, but the last few times I wore one I felt like I was wearing a costume.
Just playing dressup.

[Becky Blue]

Working in jeans and a casual shirt is the norm for me, the point is that the suit and tie created a thick Blue Fog that only cleared overnight.

[IleneD]

When I retired from the military they offered retirement classes in how to engage the business world to prepare for life outside. The distinct point was made that the Business Suit was “their uniform”, [so get it right and wear it well.]

I’ve been a Uniform Guy all my life it seems. I wore the colors of my sports teams; always played sports (not like I had a choice either). In high school and college I identified with my team and the uniform. When I taught high school, I wore a uniform as coach. I joined the Navy and for 30 years I wore a uniform.

Looking back and trying to analyze the HOW & WHY I came to this TG/CD point in my life, late in life. I believe my uniforms played a major role, not in creating my dysphoria but in helping me hide and bury my inner woman. I was always a team guy with my identity wrapped inside the team and the uniform. I actually believe now that The Uniform helped me hide out among the very male clubs into which I felt I didn’t belong. The uniform helped hide my femininity.

For almost 6 decades I found comfort in my uniform. It made me feel “normal. I never had to develop a real identity. My identity was The Team, or The Navy. I was Number 35, or Coach (real first name), or Commander (real last name). I was never Me.

When I retired all that was gone. I had to face the real me; even “develop” a real sense of identity that I never had That’s when the Real Me, Ilene and my femme side, began to grandly emerge. Free from the constraints of the uniform She sprang forth with a vengeance.

I’m not complaining, BTW.

[Dana44]

I have a few suits as I was a professional engineer. and to wear them for going to customers or buying another company. For wedding and funerals I would still wear them. I have always worn cowboys boots with them as I was a cowboy and a rancher. A good business suit always felt nice as we are dressed as good as we could be. But it felt like our old selves anyways. Nothing special, but when I am dressed nice as a girl. I do fell that better.

[Gillian Gigs]

I never had to wear a suit at work. My work uniform was steel toed boots, jeans, shirt, and vest, because I liked lots of pockets to carry things. Suits are for weddings and funerals, and ties are from the pit of hell! If I ever had to wear a tie, it was on a large collared shirt and it was as loose as possible. Now as far as suits go, how about a skirt to match the coat and a loose scarf instead of a tie, I could go for that!

[franlee]

I must admit I seldom had to put on a suit and tie but when I did I liked the feeling of Neat and Proper it gave me. I think Tracy Irving said it about the same as I'm trying to. In my work hardware and the leather sometimes made sitting or riding a bit uncomfortable and made me self conscious if any was bulging at the hip or under the arm and that even became a part of the experience.

[Cherylgyno]

On days that I have to wear a monkey suit I am wearing boyshorts and a bra. If I am in the field I also wear pantyhose under my male jeans. I hate the feeling of male denim chafing my legs.

[sometimes_miss]

Since most of my 'out of the house' time is in my 'man' work clothes 'uniform', invariably the comments I get from women are, 'Well, you certainly clean up well!'. A suit almost always means a meeting, or some type of more formal social event (last time I wore a tux was several years ago, that just makes me feel completely odd, because I always see women in the most beautiful dresses at those events, and spend a good amount of time watching them and wanting to dress like/BE them). Any type of male clothing still gives me that 'antelope in the middle of a population of lions' feeling of just being conspicuous and uncomfortable, even though to the rest of the world, I probably look just fine.

[Tina_gm]

I'm going to break from the norm a bit with my reply. Wearing a suit is actually my favorite way to dress in men's clothing. The MORE well dressed in men's clothing, the better I feel in terms of dressing as male. For me too though, it's not about being in any discomfort wearing men's clothing in general, it's the comfort I feel wearing women's clothing that draws me to wear them. So, changing back isn't as stressful or depressing for me as it is for some, other than missing what I was wearing, not so much feeling bad about what I am wearing now. But definitely, I don't feel I am wearing a uniform or a costume or that I am playing a role. If anything, I would be feeling that way more so in casual work attire, or working around the house in crappy male jeans, work boots etc etc.

[LydiaL]

Suit and tie worn only rarely and typically for serious occasions. But, I thought that it would be fun on my Birthday 6 years ago to do a photo shoot in my birthday suit & tie. Put a picture (sans the pink tie) as my profile pic and will leave it for a few days. (No dirty thoughts now, there is no nudity!) :silly:

[Lucy23]

Once again I find myself in the minority here. However, I used to abhore suits and the likes. That was probably because all I ever had up to that point were suits bought as a whole, none of which were actually good fitting.

Then I had a tailor make me one and that completely turned the tables for me. I really like nicely fitting blazers, good looking trousers, etc. In fact, I really hate the word "drab" because I don't think it reflects the recent trends in men's fashion. Sure there is not as much variance as in women's, but it's far from dull in my opinion.

I'm with gendermutt on this: the more well dressed I am in men's clothing, the better I feel about it. There is so much potential for those willing to discover it.

And as for ties, well, the same can be said about bras: If you think your tie makes you choke, you're wearing a wrong one.

I once tried to wear my favourite business dress, nice pantyhose, underwear, and of course heels for some eight hours straight. I was working from home that day so I thought, "Hey let's see how long I can be dressed like this." To be honest, after several hours I was glad that I could put them away after I was done. I feel the same with my favourite men's clothes: It's all fun and games for the first few hours, but after that I'm more than happy to put even those away.

[Mark B]

I'm going to break from the norm a bit with my reply. Wearing a suit is actually my favorite way to dress in men's clothing. The MORE well dressed in men's clothing, the better I feel in terms of dressing as male. For me too though, it's not about being in any discomfort wearing men's clothing in general, it's the comfort I feel wearing women's clothing that draws me to wear them. So, changing back isn't as stressful or depressing for me as it is for some, other than missing what I was wearing, not so much feeling bad about what I am wearing now. But definitely, I don't feel I am wearing a uniform or a costume or that I am playing a role. If anything, I would be feeling that way more so in casual work attire, or working around the house in crappy male jeans, work boots etc etc.

I too love wearing suits. I wear them 4 days a week. And getting your shirt with the correct neck size is very important. I don't even notice that I have a tie on unless I spill something on it. As far as feeling manly? I feel manly even when wearing a skirt and heels with my jacket and tie. It all about have you feel about yourself. My only feminine time is when I get dressed as Martha and that's only when I go out with the wife.

[Erica Skifishski]

Underdressing FTW. I love a good fitting suit.

I gotta wear suits pretty often and they gotta be nice (or, at least look nice and fitted properly with care). If I have a meeting or I have to go to court, I have to wear a suit or a sport coat/blazer and slacks. Always a tie. I got some great ties that have pinks, purples, light greens, all sorts of great colors. Lots of the currently popular Jerry Garcia. Get compliments on them all the time.

There are lots of fun things you can wear under lined slacks.

One thing I noticed since I started underdressing under my suit, is that it bothers me if the alteration is just a little off. It's gotta FIT! I used to care less, but now, I want it nice and snug against the hips. I also hate it when my dress shirts don't fit just right. Which, of course, presently plagues all of them, lol.

As mentioned earlier, I would love to wear a jacket, scarf and skirt. Also diggin that style in Martha B's avitar, that's great!

Wanted to get some women's oxfords, brogues or loafers but then thought, what's the point, just a men's shoe made to fit a lady's foot in those cases. Still on the hunt for something that won't be distracting. I don't want people to be distracted. Maybe I can find some loafers that have a slightly higher heel than the men's version.

[Sheren Kelly]

Being a product of parochial school, I wore a jacket and tie nearly every day since age 14 (with the exception of my working military garb), I was only too happy to leave that all behind when I retired.
But I could not resist playing a little in one of my best suits...

281259

[IleneD]

Sheren,
You look like Mrs Clark Kent preparing to rip off a suit and fly away as SuperMan (girl). The dark wig changes so much of your look.
BTW, saw you on another well-known website; the TAVA page. I sent you a PM about it. Girl, you are my hero. So much respect I have for your courage.
Wish I was in a position to do what you've done and just "don't give a rats ass" about the World's opinion,..... but, there's always consequences.

You look great. You look beautiful. You look confident and happy.

[Maria Blackwood]

Suits and ties are the devil's work. I see a guy in an expensive suit and tie, and my hand goes over my wallet. They make me think of a documentary I saw about creatures in nature that visually signal you to keep away, like brightly colored poison frogs.

[KimberlyJean]

I have a difficult time dressing in male suits, I just don't like them. They fit right and I look good, but I have never liked them. It is like when your mother made you wear something handed down from your cousins that you didn't want to wear.

[Kaz]

I spent a large part of my working life in suits, and in the early days any 'dressing' was short but sweet and when I had the house to myself. As I got more comfortable of who/what I was... I underdressed. When I went into academia full-time... the dress code was informal, and I underdressed all the time. The big fun moment for me was then I put my make up on and got into Kaz mode... then dressed in the suit and tie... but with heels, make-up etc... a revelation! I was a guy pretending to be a girl pretending to a guy! Changed the way I thought about things! These days I think I am Kaz, but I dress up as a guy sometimes!

[Sarah Doepner]

My parents bought me a suit as a high school graduation gift. I've been retired for 8 years now and that was the only man's suit I've ever owned. I do have a few suits made for a woman however.

I worked in a government office and was surrounded by people in uniform. I never wore a uniform, hated the idea of them. I wore slacks, a dress shirt and a tie nearly every day and had a few sport coats to top off the outfit if I had to "impress" someone. I only bought stuff that was comfortable and so I didn't find it all that bad since I had options and generally wore the ugliest ties I could find. When I got off work it was shorts, sandals and a Hawaiian shirt in the summer and hiking boots, jeans and a Hawaiian shirt in cooler months.

Women's clothing gives me a lot more options and I don't have to wear an ugly tie to get color in my wardrobe.

[Evie82]

Yes!! I really don't like wearing suits, and ties are horrible things! Who thought it was a good idea to knot a length of scrap fabric around your neck in the first place?? Oh god, whenever I'm forced into a suit I feel like Herman Munster's stunt double. People say I look good in one but, hell, do I feel uncomfortable!
Thankfully my office has no requirement for suits or ties so that's a blessing. The downside of it is that I still have to wear reasonably smart trousers which to me means cheap, shapeless and soulless tubes for my legs and some unknown, ill-fitting shape to cover my groin and butt! Aargh!
At least it's a rare occasion that I'm obliged to wear one, and as soon as I can the jacket is gone and the tie is off.
And cufflinks! Bloody cufflinks! What's wrong with just having buttons?? Jewellery is one thing, but having to pin your sleeves shut with a couple of usually obnoxious pieces of metal that invariably rattle against the desk or table setting my teeth on edge... grrrr!

All that said, I bet I could carry a good skirt suit!