I'm out and I'm proud

[AlyssaJ]

This past Thursday was a huge day for me. After all these years of hiding in shame, self loathing, fear and denial, I have finally come out publicly. I crafted a very lengthy coming out post and put it on my male Facebook profile. The enormity of this action didn't even really hit me fully until later when I realized, this is the end. This is the end of that hiding, of that shame of having to live a double life, I'm about a half baby step from living full time now. My neighbors, my family and my friends all know the real story and it is GLORIOUS!!

So far, 117 of the 142 people I had as friends on Facebook have chosen to stand by and support me. The remaining 25 I have not heard from yet. There is a chance that some of them simply haven't seen my post because they don't get on Facebook much, but I'm also confident that a few of them (who I know are on quite regularly) have simply stayed quiet and abandoned me. I'll admit, I thought I was ready for the pain of that loss but it's been a worse than I expected. That said, I'm not looking back.

So today for the very first time, I'm also allowing my male past and my female future to mix in the public domain. Here is the obligatory before and after collage.

[crystaltvco]

This is harsh: Anyone you lost was not worth having!!

[Mirya]

Congrats :)

[chelyann]

way to go , may your future be bright and positive

[Jenna Stunned]

Congratulations on a major step into a more complete you. The pain of loss is never easy, maybe they just need time, maybe they will just never come around. But none the less you will be moving forward and you will be happy, which will always overpower the pain of progress. Cheers Hun!

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Way to go Alyssa!! Im super happy for you !!

[LeannS]

Alyssa It is a happy day and enjoy your journey

[Sara Olivia]

Congratulations Alyssa that is definitely a huge step and undoubtedly took a lot of courage on your part. My advice to you would be to focus less on the people from whom you have not yet heard and focus on the many friends that support you. I think its wonderful and speaks much about the amazing woman you must be to have that many people considering you their friend. Also, I'm sure you have heard the saying that coming out as transgender will seperate your real friends from some who were probably never really such good friends to you. Anyways congratulations. It must feel like a lot of weight has lifted off your shoulders not having to worry about accidentally getting outed or running into people while out being Alyssa.

[Katya@]

Hi Alyssa,
Congratulations on taking this big step (or more like a leap). I think often about how would I do it. Sometimes I think even that I am not going to tell all people at once. I feel like I don't owe anyone to tell about it. Those who close - will know it. Those who far - perhaps don't care or won't talk about it for more than 5 minutes before moving on with their lives. Time will tell....
On another note - your before and after photo left a big impression on me. I am too not a stranger to gym and over my life developed rather noticeable body. I actually like the muscles (but not much the hair over them). I was curious to ask about your transition. It is not a secret that with T-blockers and estrogen, the muscle mass starts to go down. Were you thinking to step up the exercise to keep at least enough strength or are you totally cool to let HRT do its thing and leave that in the past? Thanks!

[AlyssaJ]

Hey Katya, a couple thoughts. First, regarding coming out, my reasoning to communicate it so wildly was really just to make sure that the most important people to me heard it from me and not through rumors. This way I was able to ensure they heard what I wanted them to hear first, I think that made a big difference in how many people showed their support. Just food for thought.

Regarding the muscles, I am actually very happy to see them being reduced, I knew HRT would cause this. My biceps measured at 17.5" before I started and they're down to 13.5" now. I'd actually like to see them get a little smaller yet. Big and defined biceps just don't look very good on a woman in my opinion. So yeah not doing much of any strength training at the moment.

[Rhandi Spencer]

Alyssa,
Congratulations on being who you are and living the way you desire to live.
I look at the before and after photos and WOW I would never guess that was you. Beautiful Enjoy the journey and have an amazing life!!

[Caroline Varg]

Alyssa,
Many congratulations, you are such an inspiration. One day I will repeat what you did with a large Facebook post and use that as a divider between those that will follow and those that won't.

[Bruce64]

Congratulation on your new beginning of Life, all the best.

[KymberlyOct]

Alyssa, CONGRATULATIONS !! Rip off the rest of the bandage- full time !! But coming out is huge. I did so for a couple months before I went full time. It's a lot to bite off at once.

Your before and after collage was amazing !!!

I still haven't done one. If I do I hope it's half as eye opening as yours.

[AlyssaJ]

Thanks Kymberly. Full-time is the next step although at this point I'm pretty close to full-time anyway. Working with my employer on the final transition which will happen November 1. At that point I will be full-time and counting down the days until I'm eligible for GCS.

[VanTG]

Wow, another inspirational story here, way to go AlyssaJ, I hope to hear more about your adventures.