Came out to my wife

[Katrina26cd]

I told my wife last night I was transgender. Her response was what i expected for the most part
Doesn't want to be with a woman doesn't want the kids to be confused be bullied etc
Basically not ok with me transitioning
But wants me to be able to live a happy life even if its not with her

But I do feel some relief even though you hope for a more positive response

She has always known about dressing and i usually have my nails painted

So now I have to do some soul searching and see if a gender queer /non binary will work for me

Hopefully she will be a little more understanding now thats she knows and We can save our marriage even if it means me not transitioning
Now that I am not hiding from it will help my mental state

[mbmeen12]

Wow big step for you and very emotional for your wife. Did you seek counseling at any time with or without your spouse? Support groups?

[Katrina26cd]

I am seeing a gender counselor myself. I would like to have her go to some sessions with me if/when she is ready.

There is a support group that meets every other Saturday that I am going to start attending
The same group has a support group for signifigant others and families that I think would be great for her to attend when she is ready

[Pat]

Think of your wife's response as a first offer. ;) Show her that this effects your life (and subsequently her life and your kids' lives) in a positive way and there may be room to negotiate. Good luck.

[Gerrijerry]

What you have just done , is a major step. Your wife now needs time to get her feelings together. She will need private time with a counselor. You will need time also with your counselor. Some time down the road you both will need to decide what is best for each of you. There is no correct answer for either of you. It is simply what each of you need to make life workable for both of you. Maybe that will be together. It is way too early to tell. Emotions run high, everything else gets confused.

[Teresa]

Katrina,
The first point is deciding what you really need yourself before you make any false promises to your wife . She knows some of the facts but don't blind her with too many labels she won't understand . The bottom line is will she still have a husband and a father that is her biggest fear, that's where you have to be honest with yourself before you can answer her, then you can start to work it out . How you appear is mostly irrelevant, at least you don't have to hide it depending what the situation with the children is, you must be fair with her on that issue and respect her wishes with them .

It's hard to answer about your mental state, we are all different, I always make the point that we come to the forum for help because we care about our family, very few are that selfish to say they don't care because we are mostly caring people .