Meetings

[Danielle_cder]

Have you met with another cd?

Where did you go?

What did you do?

How did you stay safe, (pre screen the other person)?

Did you meet enfem or guy mode?

-d

[Melissa73]

yes, I've met one "girl". a few years ago, we met on another site. both local. we met up in ea local park. I was dressed in my brown-black striped skirt and blouses... she/he didnt! dress. but we sat at a picnic table and talked for about an hour. we still talk to this day..... but I tell ya, getting out as Melissa for that hour I was excited, but somehow very relaxed!

[Teresa]

Danielle,
Yes it's very enjoyable , we meet at a large hotel once a month, meeting in a group is safe no pre screening required, you can attend in drab if need be .

My first meet with Carole who I met on the forum was in drab, I gave her a tour of my town and then went for a coffee, we met again and had lunch after visiting other sights . My first time out dressed was in the outfit on my profile page, funnily I wasn't nervous , it just felt right , although it was the first time I'd driven in a ballgown and my first time out wearing 4" heels and makeup and wig. I couldn't believe I even danced and found it's easier in heels than flat drab shoes . It was also the first time I'd worn a strapless bra and the first time I'd tucked but I have to admit that ballgown felt wonderful to wear !

Maybe the hardest part was driving back, and quietly getting back into the house and getting cleaned up . My wife knew I was going out and was asleep when I returned, she doesn't want to know or see me which is hard because you have to find out about so much by yourself.

[Rachael Leigh]

I did about a year ago with someone who use to be on here. We went to a mall and were both dressed. It was a very enjoyable time.

[Laura912]

Yes, same person twice. First in a mall. Second, on a short excursion with neither dressed.

[Tracy Irving]

Maybe someday but as far as I know, I have not met with another crossdresser. Then again, you never know what skeletons hide in my friends closet.

[Tracii G]

Sure I have met up with 5 or 6 from here and with many from my trans group and have had fun.
Dressed enfemme for some and in male mode for others.
No problems at all.
The people you meet are just like you and not out for kinky stuff.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Have you met with another cd?

Yes, many. I've met 18 of my Friends here FtF. Also went to a couple of makeovers. Plus I'm in some very large social groups and have been to Keystone 6 times.

Where did you go?

When I've met girls individually, we've gone out to lunch or dinner and/or shopping. a couple of times to get a makeover together.

What did you do?

Talked about our hobby. Shopped.

How did you stay safe, (pre screen the other person)?

Pre-screen. Met in a public place. Usually had my own car for safety and escape if needed. Once I knew a CD friend who knew the CD I was meeting and she told me the CD that I was meeting was safe. She picked me up at my hotel and I went in her car to meet others in a restaurant.

Did you meet enfem or guy mode?

Once in guy mode, the rest of the time en femme.

Of the girls I met individually, most I met here first and then met FtF. Others I met FtF first and then found out they were members here. Some I knew from here, I introduced to my social group, and others I met FtF, I convinced them to join here.

I have a girl "business card" with my email address, my name her, and my (discontinued) social group. It's time for new cards.

[Jaymees22]

Yes, I met one person from here we met in drab for coffee in a public place. I felt it was a good experience. I've also gone to three groups the first was a little far to travel, the second has stopped having meetings for awhile, but met twice a month. Now I belong to a larger group that meets once a month and also has some other events. All the groups I go dressed. If your interested in going out I would look for a group in your area. Hugs Jaymee

[Aunt Kelly]

Yes. Both en femme and guy mode. Sometimes just for coffee, a time-tested way to meet anyone new. Sometimes as part of an organized GNO. There's no one right way to meet someone new, but you are right to consider risk. Networking is a plus (who do you know that also knows them), and the length of their presence in this (or similar) community can be a plus too. From that presence you can gauge the other to a certain degree. Perhaps I'm lucky, but it has always been a positive experience, whether I'm just meeting another kindred spirit for coffee, enjoying dinner with the girls, or helping a sister get out for the first time.

[Rachelakld]

Yes, I meet Josie
We went for coffee, I got there first and she know what I looked like from my blog.
We had cake and coffee (most others at the café had big lunches)
Stay safe? well I had seen her profile on another site, emailed a few times, we meet at a very public location.
I prefer to be in girl mode when out for a relaxing coffee, or pretty much most of the time

[Jess S.]

Yes, It was wonderful I met another from this site. We chatted for a long time decided to meet for a makeup lesson.
We met in drab did our makeup dressed and talked.

[Helen_Highwater]

Have you met with another cd?

Yes, the first time was when I attended a group I'd found from an internet search. I contacted the secretary out of courtesy before attending.
The second time I met up with 2 members from the forum having posted in the "Places to go, Places to meet" section of my intention to attend another group in Manchester.

Where did you go?

First time the group met in a small hotel in a dedicated room. I can remember walking through the hotel lobby, heels on the marble floor, nervous as hell. I was warmly welcomed and had a great evening getting to know folks.
Second time; we arranged to meet initially outside a restaurant as it was a safe public place. We then ate in the restaurant before attending the group.

What did you do?

Basically just chat and get to know each other, share experiences,

How did you stay safe, (pre screen the other person)?

Both times I knew we were meeting in a public place where, if my spidy senses told me things weren't right, I could make my excuses and leave. Didn't turn out that way, quite the opposite. I did check out the parking and the area around the venues using Google maps and Street View. It meant I had an idea of the street layout, how far I'd have to walk in heels and any other bars or restaurant I'd pass on the way to and from. It made leaving the car a far more comfortable experience as I felt I knew the place somewhat.

Did you meet enfem or guy mode?

Enfemme both times. Being dressed and in the company of others dressed to is just so wonderful. It was amazing just how quickly nerves disappeared. Sitting in the restaurant eating a pleasant meal, glass of wine, just chatting as if it was the most natural thing I'd ever done.


I heartily recommend it to all. If there's one thing you MUST do in your CD'ing journey it's meet up with others and social groups are the safest way.

[jami]

Yes I have met with another cd.We were both dressed and enjoyed each others company for the day

[Marie-Jo]

I am member of a Swedish trans persons society (FPES), spread all over Sweden that has a local clubs. We have here i Stockholm bi-monthly meetings open to transgender people. Not that many visitors but you have the opportunity to meet in a safe place. I do not make it to each fortnight but was present last Wednesday. There is also twice a year a big Nordic meeting in southwest of Sweden (Båstad). I have not yet participated there.
I have met persons in drab but that is not to my liking. At least I want to be dressed myself, otherwise I feel like being the "wrong person".
I have met a number of through FPES.
I had a MtF friend for about two years and we met at her home, but that ended due to her health problems.
So far with risk in private FtF meetings: Prior contacts, mostly via web, have convinced me that this is real and friendly person, otherwise I wouldn't agree to a meeting. If unsure I would choose a public place where we can have a cup of coffee and get to know each other, preferably not in drab.
For the time being I do not have an ongoing friendship with someone where we meet regularly. The family/wife/children and grandchildren occupy too much time to make that work. To me it seems that the easiest way to meet others is to be part of what here often is called "a social group". The first time I participated in such an event I was chocked. It felt normal and right to be the female person that usually was considered as deviant and wrong. It felt so relaxing.

[leannejacobs]

Yes, I visited a couple, one trans and one CDer, they were flat mates, I met one of them on another site, chatted away and explained I was heterosexual and looking to meet others like me just for friendship, she invited me to their home which I took her up on, I was fully dressed as were they, I parked down the road and boldly walked to their flat, it was very satisfying albeit a little nerve wracking, I've not been back though, a one off visit was ample.

[Danielle_cder]

Thank you all for the awesome responses!

Where I live is definitely not metro, rather very rural so would have to travel more than an hour and a half to any type of support group:(

[Tracii G]

Do a search on LGBT sites for your area you just might find a support group closer than you think.
So many times people post thinking there couldn't possibly be a trans group close to them when their actually is.
I thought that in the city where I live and found one 9 miles for my house.

[Jean 103]

There is a transgender goup that meets evey week like a 30 minutes from me. It is nice to meet and get to know others. I don't go very often anymore. But still it is worth making the connections.

[Aunt Kelly]

Where I live is definitely not metro, rather very rural so would have to travel more than an hour and a half to any type of support group:(
1.5 hours? Here in Texas, some people drive almost that far to pick up the mail. :)
Seriously though, trust me on this. It'll likely be worth the trip.

[Jeri Ann]

Lol, I drive that far to church. Not today, would have needed a boat.

[Ceera]

Not counting random encounters in public places, such as seeing a CD/TG person who I usually only see at a bar or nightclub tbat we both frequent, I have twice arranged to meet a TG person who I had not met before.

In the first case, I saw a post on a local transgender support forum where a MtF transgender lady was seeking a short term room rental. Though we were both on that local forum, we had never met. As it happened, I had an unused guest bedroom, already set up and furnished, and as I was unemployed, the idea of getting some income by renting the room to her had merits. The fact that she was only asking for a place for a few months also was a plus, since if it didn't work out well, it wouldn't last very long. I suggested we meet for an informal dinner and/or drinks at a downtown pizza restaurant that I knew was LGBTQ friendly. I chose a time and date when the place would not be very busy. I got there early, en-femme, chose a table where I could watch the entrance, and ordered a personal-size pizza and a glass of wine. We texted each other to coordinate, and so we would know who to look for. She arrived, ordered her own food and drink, and we discussed the rental. I showed her pictures of the room on my phone, and we discussed what price range she was expecting to pay for rent. We also exchanged background stories. We had both started transitioning late in life. She was full-time female now. We hit it off fairly well, so I took her home to see the room and meet my daughter. She ended up renting the room, and it has worked out well enough for both of us that she has changed her plans and no longer has a set end date in mind. We are becoming casual friends, but there is no dating interest between us.

The second encounter also related to that room for rent. Right after the TG lady rented the room, a FtM transgender guy on the same forums also expressed interest in renting the room. Again, it was someone I didn't know - but my new renter knew him and said he was a nice guy. I told him it was already rented for at least six weeks. He still was interested in possibly renting it when it became available again, so we exchanged information by e-mail, and it looked like he would also be a good house mate. He suggested we might meet for breakfast, to get to know each other better. I let him suggest a few possibilities, and I picked one. He set the time and date. I got there a bit early, and made my own food and drink order, telling the waitress I was expecting a second person to join me soon. He arrived, placed his own order, and we had a nice breakfast together. After we were done, he insisted on paying for both our meals. We are now FB friends, but haven't met since then. Our schedules do not mesh very well.

So both times, I arranged to meet in a public place, where if things went wrong, I would not be alone.

I have also attended a few social/support group meetings for transgender or non-binary people. The group that runs that local support forum hosts monthly trans-only support meetings at a local church, and a trans and allies social hour at an LGBTQ bar in town. I also attended a clothing swap event that they hosted. Group events are safer because it is a small, well-connected community, and anyone who misbehaves will become known for that bad behavior quite rapidly. Plus, it is a self-selected group of people you know are accepting and understanding.

[RADER]

I have met a few others at a club in Arlington Heights, IL. It was a meet and greet by another
Forum.I went DAB, as I do not go out dressed. Everyone was very nice, and dressed very nice.
I wish I could have dressed for the occasion, but me having a Mustache is the big blocker for me.
Rader

[Ressie]

Yes, my first meeting was at the Dune's in Saugatuck Michigan. It was TG weekend. I met a few CDs from this site and quite a few others too. It's a bar so drinking, conversing, maybe some dancing or karaoke. It's a safe resort area and environment (a gay bar).

I was a member on this site for 4 years before I stepped out for the first time (en femme). TG weekend has a mix of TGs and gays, men and women. The event happens twice a year.

[Danielle_cder]

Has anyone had a bad experience?

[Teresa]

Danielle,
No not one, not during driving or at the meetings .

Our new hotel gives us the chance to mix more freely with the general public, and so far not a single problem . Even going to breakfast in a crowded dining room .

Marie-Jo,
I'm glad you added that last comment, meeting other CDers is confidence building, and it does feel very natural .

[julia marie]

Went to First Event, a conference for trans in the Boston area, a couple of years ago. Met a few people in sessions. No follow up though.

[Leslie Mary S]

Meetings

Have you met with another cd? Yes several

Where did you go?
1. Several times to Atlanta GA,
2. 4 time to a local Cafe (In drab),
3. Twice to the home of a member here.

What did you do?
1. a lot - Dinner, a show, Shopping, group discussions etc.
2. went and talked.
3. Talked on phone, went and dressed out, did a small photo shoot.

How did you stay safe, (pre-screen the other person)?
1. talked on phone to some of the members
2. Text messages to some members
3. Text and talked.

Did you meet enfem or guy mode?
1, both
2. drab only
3. Drab

[Jenny22]

Yes, first time, I was in drab, she all femme. We had coffee. Second time, I was femme, too. She insisted i go with her to a supermarket. We did. All was fine. Third time, dinner, and was with Doc Sherry and her friend, Cindi. Fourth time, dinner, just the two of us. The restaurant was packed. A family of 4 (2 small sons) were at a table immediately next to us. No disparaging looks or remarks from them, though the boys did look at us, often.
That wonderful person was Loren Richards, my mentor, my encourager, my friend. I met her through this forum. She gave her general location, which was close mine, in her profile so that every post she made had her location, too.

I know its a very personal decision to give your location, general or specific, or not. I respect that. But, if you ever want to make and meet sister friends in your area, they have to know your general or specific whereabouts. But do it only if YOU want to, and update your profile.

[Sarah Doepner]

Danielle_cder;

Have you met with another cd?
Yes. Many others over the years.

Where did you go?
The very first time I met with a group, all in drab mode, to do a tour. It was a few days later I dressed to join them for an event back in my early days going to DLV. Since then I've met with others either at meetings or other gatherings or individually. When it's a first meeting with a stranger who I don't know it's usually to invite them to join in our Tri-Ess group. I try to make sure we meet at a public place during normal hours. I always do this meeting drab, but bring along photos to make sure they know I haven't trolled them. It's important they can begin to trust me that when we discuss crossdressing, I know what they are feeling.

At DLV I've met a lot of wonderful people at places that range from mini-golf to high end restaurants, dive bars to theaters, casinos to shopping malls.

What did you do?
Talk. We try to learn what we share in common and then discover if there are other shared interests. Other than that, we eat, enjoy music, gamble, shop, tell stories, normal friend stuff.

How did you stay safe, (pre screen the other person)?
Pick a public place during normal hours. Often I have someone else along. Most of my initial contacts these days are with others who have already reached out to our group, so some of the screening has been done. If you go to an event or support group meeting of some sort most of that has been worked out over the years to make sure they can be successful.

Did you meet enfem or guy mode?
Sometimes en femme, sometimes in guy mode. It depends on the situation.

Has anyone had a bad experience?
Not doing this and doing it consistently and carefully. Having an exit strategy should always be in your mind when meeting with someone you've encountered over the internet, but if it's through a well established site like this, you can do a lot of evaluation before you ever meet. I probably have met at least a dozen girls from here in person, and some have become very good friends over the years. I've had bad experiences, but never from this kind of activity. Your mileage may vary, so think things through.

[Alice Torn]

I have only met once with another CDer, and he was married, and i am single. Both of us met in guy mode. We just talked some. At a McDonalds. Never met anyone else

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Danielle,
I've had the pleasure to meet with 15 or 16 members
of this site, and I've had phone conversations with a
couple others.
I think getting to "know" someone before meeting can
be done by reading their posts here.
PM's can lead to emails, and possibly even an exchange
of phone numbers if a meeting is to happen.
A few of my meetings were just a brief introduction at
an event in Sacramento, but the majority were planned
meetings where we got together for a little shopping, or
a few hours at the aquarium, followed by lunch or dinner.
My SO and I have even hosted a dinner party at our home
with several site members, and wives attending
(most of them spent the night!) Talk about a fun!
All of my meetings were while I was dressed enfemme,
but everyone that spent the night after the dinner party
got to meet me in guy mode the following morning.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Dana44]

Yes I have meet anther TS and we meet at the hotel and went to a Cajun place here for lunch. I was in guy mode and she was dressed very casual. But we meet and I am dressed also. at a town that is a about two hours away.

[April T]

I went to a local swingers club in Toronto called M4 that has a TG/CD night. Had a wonderful time. Met quite a few CD's and chatted like long lost friends. Will be going again this fall once I've shed my summer hair!

I would love to meet more CD's in my town but it is difficult.

[Allison Chaynes]

Has anyone had a bad experience?

I don't know if this qualifies... but I went to a TG group meeting in Memphis a few months ago. Though most of the girls were welcoming, one insisted on belittling theists and those not agreeing with her politics. Oh, and kept on laughing when I said I was a CD, mentioning three or four times that night, "You'll understand more when you transition." The rest of the ladies were nice, helpful, and enjoyable to talk to. One individual didn't ruin the night, more of an annoyance.

[Alice B]

Yes to all of the above to dinner and night clubs. With members of this forum and have spent to night at one members home. So I would not have to drive home late, after drinking and over 100 mile to home.

[Julie Slowinski]

I have met with a couple of cd girls. Both times they were in drab. The meetings were 4-5 hours, we went shopping and had a meal. Of course, the best part is the conversation, sharing notes and realizing that we have done a lot of the same things in the past.

I think the 'in drab' meeting is the safest way to get to know someone, and then you came decide if you want to meet them en femme. One of the girls I met this way is now my closest cd friend and we go out en femme regularly.

I also go to a cd group meeting at a local bar (Just a group of girls getting together for the sake of getting together. It's organized by our local cd boutique). So, I invited a girl I met online to join us for that event. Perfectly safe for me (since we were in a large group), but quite nerve racking for the new girl (though she had been out many times before, just not to this type of event).

💋💋💋 Julie

[Selene EV]

Hi Danielle
I've only met one other CD but it really was a wonderful experience. It truly is amazing to finally sit and talk to somebody like yourself after being alone for so long. We met at a meet up at a LGBT center here in New Jersey so it was a very comfortable atmosphere. I definitely recommend it if you get the opportunity.

[rian]

Well I wish one day I can find a crossdresser like me at the area where I'm living .....one day

[Littlebee]

Well, i have never met another Cd, unfortunately. I wish i had more courage to meet someone. But, in my opinion, you need to feel comfortable, so, no rush :)