Very Odd Internet Romance--Possible Predator?

[danam]

Recently I met someone online--it seems very promising, but there are some troubling details. I'm worried that it's something very, very not cool. Here's the story:

I'm a closeted crossdresser with serious, unexplored desires. I am on a certain website-of-ill-repute (sorry moderators) using my male persona. Out of nowhere, a female dominatrix winks at me, who specializes in feminizing and dominating men. Well, heck, that sounds perfect for me! LOL I wink back and share a few pictures. She immediately shares hers, several, and they are breathtaking. 10/10 on the female desirability scale. Hmm...too good to be true? I continue some email back-and-forth, with BS-detectors on full alert. But some of the things she's saying are really, really in my ball park. I'm being seduced, and I'm being stupid, I fear. So I'm writing you all to get some objective opinions.

Some bullet points on what's happening:

She is physically amazing (from photos), yet strangely interested in acting fairly quickly. She wants to set up a meeting next week, after only a few emails? Of all the GGs I've ever chatted with online, I've never--and I mean NEVER--chatted with one that isn't ultra-careful about protecting her identity and taking extra, extra care to vet potential partners before meeting in private. PRIVATE!! Hmm....
Her writing style is wildly variable. It alternates from being a non-native-English speaker with lots of grammatical errors to one of very precise and measured language. Very, very odd alternations in form. Hmmm...
She misses some juicy details I put into my email conversations. For example, I slipped in that I have a YouTube channel with over a million views, and she doesn't even acknowledge the fact or seem surprised or mildly intrigued. Hmmm...
She wants me to delete my AM account BEFORE we meet, to demonstrate my commitment. Hmm...
She wants me to bring all my own sex toys to our first encounter, BEFORE we've previously met to vet each other personally. Hmm....
I live in an affluent neighborhood, which is listed on my profile. Although I am not one of the high-achievers (I live check-to-check), I still managed to be in the nice neighborhood. Hmm...


Okay, as I write this, I realize I am probably being played. Darn it!!! She seems so interested in helping me explore my femininity!!! Hmmmm...

If I agree to meet her next week, will I end up getting robbed, beat up, and bribed to keep quiet??? All the signs are there...but, again, her proposition is very exciting for a closeted crossdresser like myself.

[Cherylgyno]

I say use your women's intuition. If it sounds too good to be true it probably is.

[Jaymees22]

STAY AWAY!!! You can use her pictures and have a nice fantasy in the safety of your nice neighborhood.

[Dana44]

I would meet her and find out what she is like. A dom girl is pretty forward It is exciting and I have been put though a dom before and she put me through the paces. But trust your intuition. when you meet her.

[Tracii G]

Even being on that site screams "hey look at me I'm needy,lonely,willing to put my life in danger for sex." IMO
My God you aren't 16 and deep down inside you know better.

[Connie.Marie]

Dana,
I see being blackmailed in your future!

Hugs, Connie

[Dana44]

LOL Connie, Black mailed, naw that happened a while ago. No problems. I don't do that now or any thing out of the ordinary. But I did have a sexual life ten plus years ago.

[Joni T]

One's gut is a pretty good barometer of the situation. Ever hear of "gut feelings"? They happen for a reason and are usually right. If it doesn't pass the "smell test"--PASS! It's better to have unfulfilled fantasies than be fill material in a hole somewhere.
Jon

[Kelly DeWinter]

I'm still trying to figure out what an AM account is ?

[Sarasometimes]

Way too many flags! How does the grammar and syntax change when the same person is writing? I have never seen that, ever. Someone is either just playing games or much worse. What domme needs your toys? If you want to go to a domme look for a pro in your area, too good to be true is usually just that!

[SkylarLee]

I agree, it sounds too good to be true.
To show my nerdiness, the Star Wars/Admiral Ackbar meme "It's A Trap!!!" keeps flashing through my mind.

[Gillian Gigs]

I see red lights flashing and alarm bells ringing! Too much inconsistency, and too much potential for loss. Keep the fantasies between your ears, it is safer that way!

[chelyann]

run fast and run far , please don't go forward with this, if you do its been nice knowing you and let next of kin know where to find the body.. :(

[Aunt Kelly]

This is a con. I can't remember all of the details, but one of the hallmarks was the discontinuity in the linguistics. You are being played by a team, probably of off-shore origin. Sooner or later, the question of funds will come up. If you're still thinking about it at this point, stop. Take your money and patronize the services of reputable pro. This path will likely end badly.

[Becky Blue]

I would shut your account as suggested by 'the person' and ensure that they have no other way of contacting you.. no good can come from it.

[Nikki.]

Scam. Aunt Kelly is absolutely correct. There are a kajillion variations, but the basic format goes like the below...

You will eventually get a request for funds directly, or be sent a check, asked to deposit it, then asked to transfer a portion of the money back in a form that is untraceable and unrecoverable. you will then find out the check you were sent is fraudulent.

[AllyCDTV]

I'm on plenty of "sites of ill repute" and I feel that a major reason why I haven't been chopped up and placed into little black garbage bags is because I'd never meet with anybody in person from those sites.

[docrobbysherry]

The best u can hope for is to get sc----ed. Not laid------:brolleyes:

[sometimes_miss]

Way too many flags! How does the grammar and syntax change when the same person is writing?
Drugs, alcohol, psychiatric disturbances, etc.. There are no good options here. This contact is dangerous, preying on the desperate desires of a crossdresser to find acceptance somewhere. Danam, proceed at your own risk. If you insist on proceeding, at the very least, let someone know where you will be.
Of course, that doesn't remove the possibility of blackmail coming your way.

If they know that you're from an affluent residential area, perhaps that's the draw; they think you have money and will be an easy target.

Or, she's a pro dom, and is running short of money for her drug habit. Maybe tuition at dom school?

But a female pushing for a quick meeting with someone they don't know, always sends up red flags.

[JenniferMBlack]

With the little info you have provided seams like a scam of some sort. I would tread very cautiously. Just my $0.02 worth.

[Judy-Somthing]

Try doing a reverse photo search on Google, you may find that her photos were taken from the internet.

[girlyman1977]

A dominatrix sounds good to me. HOwever this sounds too sketchy if you ask me. I love your dress btw

[Bobbi46]

RUN, RUN, RUN. Nothing good can come of this. get yourself off that site quick and preserve your identity. I agree with everybody this is not genuine interest, the big red light of it all is the linguistic changes, You are either going to get scammed or played for a fool.
Use you brain and tell this "Thing" to take a hike.
You are walking a very dangerous path and no good can come out of it.

[Samm]

I didn't get halfway through the first bullet point. Sounds like a scam and you're being played

[danam]

I'm still trying to figure out what an AM account is ?

It's initials for a name. For example, the "A" could be "Ashley" and the "M" could be "Madison". Something like that. :wink:

Thank you for helping me see the obvious. It's all just TOO EASY for it to be true. I am just so floored at how quickly she wants to move forward without a detailed vetting process.

I will try the reverse image search idea--I hadn't thought of that!

[Bobbi46]

Danam you are not listening, get out of there whilst you're whole!

[Tracii G]

I would get the heck out of there ASAP.
Save a pic or two of hers then search later.
When you deal with that kink online you are asking for trouble.

[JocelynJames]

I read all bullet points- delete your AM account to show commitment? NOPE NOPE NOPE
NOPE
Probably a woman and guy because of the two writing styles or just one gender and on the side of psychotic
Just my two cents (sense)

[Bobbi46]

get out before malware gets dumped on you and exposes you completely, out, out, out you must go.

[Sarasometimes]

This is like an old horror movie, everyone but the main character can hear the scary music playing in the background! Get Out!

[Ressie]

I'm a member of another site where mistress scams are prevalent. I've had many message contacts from "mistresses". Their photos are always of a very attractive woman but never full dominatrix image. Other members of the site have complained about these scams and they slow down for a while, but always come back.

• The photos look real but they aren't.
• Unusual style of speaking is a tip off that it's a scam from a foreigner that knows English, but hasn't conversed much with Americans or other English speaking folks.

I don't know anything about the rest of your bullet points because I've never engaged with any of these messages I've been sent. But even a real dominatrix will charge you for her services.

Your situation is different because if she wants to meet you she must live in your area. Unless - the next step is to ask you for traveling money, which is a common scam. Ask her where she lives. In fact, you should ask lots of questions as a way to screen her. Then use your BS detector!

I know of a woman that met a "General" that's very wealthy on the internet with several photos of himself. At a certain point he ask for money to be sent so they could meet. It might be great to meet an honest dominatrix or mistress but this doesn't look like the one.

[~Joanne~]

Try doing a reverse photo search on Google, you may find that her photos were taken from the internet.

This, Judy is dead on and the whole thing sounds fishy as hell. What happened to the good ole fashioned way of meeting people? Why the internet where anyone can be anyone? I wouldn't meet her for anything. Tracii said Your not 16 and i agree with her. stop acting like a child and forget the fantasies and you'll see this should be a no go for you.

[Tracy Irving]

Danger, Will Robinson.

I'm not saying you're talking to one but today's bots are very sophisticated. They can hold a conversation for over an hour and you won't figure out you are talking to a computer. The Internet is filled with advice on ways to test and drive a potential bot conversation.

[LeannS]

Yes you are being played probably by 2 people.
They dont read what you wrote or answer the question you ask.
oh hell have some fun with it BUT DON'T MEET UP!!!!!
play along like we are going to have a great time and the things we are going to do and such.
for that matter tell her you just come into some money and looking to go have some fun on a tropical island.

dont take your clothes off in a video chat dont do a video chat it will be used against you
I have a very good friend that fell into a thing on facebook it didn't end up being nice they recorded what they did and what he did and then blackmailed him
his business is in the toilet so he doesnt have a lot of money well they forwarded it to his friends on facebook oh my hell you should have seen the firestorm from it.
I should say all his friends got to see this.

So be careful becareful of the red flags with anyone you chat with dont send money to anyone you haven't met
meet in a public place. first time always

[danam]

Thank you, everyone for the advice. I knew I could count on the community here to provide support! :hugs:

Thus far, I don't think my computer has been "pwned" because I've been careful. I know what that word "pwned" is, if that's any clue. lol

While it sounds like fun to continue the conversation and play around, the whole thing is just too creepy to continue. I'll stop communicating and maybe she'll disappear. If not, I can start deleting accounts without too much trouble. I have a layer or two between my real and online identities, so I'm pretty confident I can disappear (errr, that "male" persona can disappear) without too much trouble.

[LilSissyStevie]

I'm sure there are honest pro-Dommes out there but I think it would be best to approach one based on their reputation. If they approach you first it would seem very risky. The pro-Domme route wouldn't work for me because I would always assume they are not really into it except for the money. Others may be able to overlook such things in order to get their fantasy fulfilled but I don't think I could and have never given it serious thought. Of course there are those guys that get off on showering a Domme with gifts and money while getting nothing but contempt in return. Apparently they don't get enough of that at home. I'm not one of those. I like money even more than sex.

[Kate Simmons]

I say exercise caution my friend. Not everything is always as it seems to be. :)

[Ressie]

Danger, Will Robinson.

I'm not saying you're talking to one but today's bots are very sophisticated. They can hold a conversation for over an hour and you won't figure out you are talking to a computer. The Internet is filled with advice on ways to test and drive a potential bot conversation.

I haven't thought of that. If not a bot, I'm sure it would supply a job for someone in a foreign country to keep the conversation going.


What happened to the good ole fashioned way of meeting people? Why the internet where anyone can be anyone? I wouldn't meet her for anything.

This thread got me thinking about that too. I remember a psychologist saying that within 20 seconds of meeting someone (in person) you'll have a good idea of whether you're interested in getting to know them better or not.

A few actual photos and lengthy conversation on the internet isn't really all that unreliable, but people with an angle tend to lie either way. When going out on a first date how many people are completely up front about everything? Very few.

[suzanne]

Try turning the tables on her instead. Make some demands and see how she responds. I don't know what those demands might be, however. But the non standard English screams "Fisherman" to me. Drop this like it's burning your fingers.

[AndreaCalifCD]

AM got MASSIVELY hacked. Majorly hacked. Mightily hacked. And probably lots of other words beginning with other letters...
Do NOT do this. It won't end well.

[Fiona123]

I have been following this thread since this morning. Stay away. Shut it down!

[Helen_Highwater]

You've already realised that this is something to walk away from. The very fact you've asked the question here says you've recognised that this is something to avoid like the plague.

Sixth sense, spidy sense, gut feeling, common sense, all are telling you this ain't right. Trust your instincts. Do nothing more than leave well alone, walk away, forget and ignore. Scammers work by making things seem totally plausible. Offering you the things you desire. However, as in this case, as you've realised, they always make mistakes, errors. However there's always those who choose to ignore these errors, the signs and carry on. These are the ones who end up either penniless and or humiliated. Please don't join their ranks.

[GinaSkirt]

I dated a GG that told me she was into in dom/sub and was on a site with a chat room. I did a lot of research made an account and went to chat room to find out what she was up to. I can tell you all the signs you mentioned, especially a private and quick meeting = bot, scam, abuser or at best case a newbie that would use you as a test dummy and we know what happens to test dummies. Don't run sprint away as fast as you can while you still have the ability.

[alwayshave]

Danam, try doing a reverse search on the pictures on google, if the pictures are on the net it will tell you, for example, where the person is from.

[FrannGurl]

Id say meeting someone is nice. Ive taken chances and met a few nice men but also a bad experience once, because I didn't trust my gut. Don't be so anxious that you miss warning signs though

[Rhonda Darling]

Sorry to be late to the game. Let's see . . . before meering her, delete your account and with it all the forensic evidence of the chats leading up to your disappearance/blackmail/strongarm robbery. Take your own restraints to your kidnapping. Act like a young teen chasing her first heart throb.

Please write you name, phone number, and next of kin on the inside of your arm with a Sharpie.

Every subsequent conversation about you will begin with the phrase: "What was she thinking?"

[AllyCDTV]

It's initials for a name. For example, the "A" could be "Ashley" and the "M" could be "Madison". Something like that. :wink:

Thank you for helping me see the obvious. It's all just TOO EASY for it to be true. I am just so floored at how quickly she wants to move forward without a detailed vetting process.

I will try the reverse image search idea--I hadn't thought of that!

When the hack of Ashley Madison became public, some researchers found that an extremely high percentage of the "women" were bots and some were very sophisticated bots at that. Don't waste any more of your time on this. Life is too short.

[Jaylyn]

I wouldn't show up anywhere alone...unless you want to make the news stories, be a star on Americas unsolved crimes, or have a death wish. Always remember if it sounds too good to be true it probably isn't true. The very least is probably a bunch of kids or guys having fun at your expense. Be careful Danam.

[Crystal 42]

Danam this sounds seriously dodgy. Given your bullet points there's too much that doesn't add up. It's likely a scam or worse. Avoid!

[Angela010]

100% a scam, but it looks like you've worked that out now. Always trust your instincts with a leaning to your safety.