When Anger arises!

[sparks]

So how many sisters out there get angry when they can't figure this cross-dressing thing out. There are so many questions for me that harp on my mind alot such as Why do want to where that bra or Why is it important that my wife accepts this part of me? You know the list goes on and on!
I get a whole lot of depression goin' on anger welling up. To put it mildly very pleasant to be around a charmer for sure.

So I guess what I'm asking if any of you have these types of feelings how or what do you do to cope. It has been a comfort to find you all but you certainly do live in the tiny living space I like to call my Brain!

I'm sorry if this topic has been posted before and I hate to sound redundant but I'm new here! So please be patient and cope darlings.

[Kitty Sue]

Hi well you are not alone. For me it was vital to find friends and people that I could speak too. I could not keep being bi or a transvestite in my head forever. I do not believe CDing is really that different from anything else when it comes to acceptance. I want people to accept me for me and whether I or they like it or not CDing is part of the package. I do not find it hard accepting that I like women and that I am sexually attracted to them. Yet knowing that I enjoy being sexual with men can at times upset me. I guess alot of it has to do with how society perceives GLBT persons. I think it is normal to want to be loved and accepted and often being GLBT is totally unacceptable in society. Nobody, well I know I don't want to be perceived as an out cast.

This is a great site another is http://f24.parsimony.net/forum54410/ for TS/TVs. For me as great as these sites are it was vital that I find people that I could meet face to face and speak with. To be able to say to them I am bi, I am afraid that if I tell you who I am you may reject was me pretty scary. But you know what? Everybody that I have told (granted I have been pretty selective) has been very accepting of me and totally supportive. Of course one of my GG friends asked that since I am serving in the military in the middle east if I would start wearing a burka when the urge to dress enfemme hit, she is such a smarty pants.

Through having people to speak with my anger levels have diminished. I have also been through counseling and will be getting back into it when I leave the army in a few months.

I can have a mean and spiteful tounge and I saying cruel things to others as not only does it hurt them it hurts me.

There is help out there and there are people who understand and accept us for who we are. Acceptance for me is important. I love people and interacting with others and CDing is part of the package.

Today my relationships with other people, both men and women are vastly improved and more fullfilling. I no longer purge very cute bras and panties.

People who know me have opened up to me and told me things about themselves they have not told anybody.

Key to being accepted by others was learning to accept myself for who I am. If I am unalbe to accept myself then it does not matter if others accept me or not.

Just hang in there. I am sure other girls will be more than happy to share their knowledge and experiences with you.

Well I am off as this girl wannabe is rambling, later KS.

[TGMarla]

A lot of us, if not most of us, have been through the emotional gauntlet you describe. Sometimes it manifests itself as a "Why me?" question. How did other men manage to avoid this, while I got sucked into this somewhat like an insect in a spider web? There's frustration that had we been born girls, had we not been "victims" of a genetic crapshoot at conception, we would not have this quandry. There's envy towards our sisters and other genetic girls, who obviously don't know how good they have it to be the women that they are so fortunate to be.

That's one of the problems with being a crossdresser, or for that matter, being transgendered in any way. It's a long process to come to terms with it, accept it, embrace it, and ditch the emotional baggage that has resulted from it. Some of us never get there. Ever. And frankly, that's not the way I want to live my life.

I got over it. It took some time, but I got over it. I'm not angry about it anymore. I only rarely experience the regret and frustration I described these days. And when I do, it passes quickly. I learned that while being female might have been a pretty good thing for me, being me isn't all that bad, either. Surely I have much to contribute to this world just the way I am. Surely there are joys to wiotness, and experiences to live, and fulfillment in this world that I can derive just by being me? And the answer is yes, there is. I can have all the world has to offer me, and I can crossdress when I feel like it. I don't have to obsess over it. I don't have to feel guilty or resentful because of it, either. In a small way, it's like having the best of both worlds.

I now consider crossdressing as a small treat, something special that I enjoy now and again, that I do for myself. I don't require anyone's approval for it, nor do I really care about anyones disapproval. It's a little like having a beer at the end of a hard day's work. It's a reward, in a way, for all the things I do in my regular life, a relaxing sojourn, and interlude, into a world of femininity and softness that I really love. It's a part of me that I embrace. And not only do I not feel guilty about it, I actually do not envy those men who do not have this in their lives. They're really missing out on something that I feel makes me a better and more whole person. Their loss. I'm glad I'm a crossdresser.