American CD girls and their therapists.

[suzy1]

American CD girls go to their therapists.
We British CD girls however rely on our stiff upper lip and just get on with it.
[I am going to be lynched for this thread aren't I?]

Suzy with a death wish this morning. :)

[Keely]

This is going to be fun to watch Suzy:heehee:

[ChristinaK]

Hi Suzy,

I think you wrote this with tongue in cheek. At least I hope so. I know of at least one Brit on this forum that has gone to therapy. Kind of funny, when you think that Americans have to pay for it.

So, why would Brits not go? Personally, my therapist has been very successful in boosting my self esteem and ameliorating feelings of guilt and shame I have dragged with me my whole life. Particularly with a wife that hates that part of me and refuses to think that I was born this way, that even if I were, it's still a choice that I don't have to act on.

Maybe in the UK people are more progressive and the issues many of us face in America are not so prevalent there. Let us know why you think your assertion is true. Interesting.

Us, of the most misunderstood and smallest minority letter of LGBTQ, should be the least likely to make generalized statements about a particular group. After all, how stereotypical is it to assume that if you CD, you are gay? Even gays that I've met have a hard time understanding that if we feel feminine, why don't we all have an attraction to men?

I imagine this post probably will garner some interesting replies! Hope it stays in the realm of jest and not animosity or anger.

[Kate Simmons]

Stiff upper lip with lipstick. Years ago I went to a therapist. However, it wasn't because I thought there was something wrong with me. I went to figure out how to deal with those (family and friends) who had a problem with my CDing. I was fine with it myself, still am. :battingeyelashes::)

[suzy1]

Hi Suzy,

I think you wrote this with tongue in cheek.

Hope it stays in the realm of jest and not animosity or anger.

Of course it was tongue in cheek, and whats wrong with getting a little cat fight going anyway?

Remember girls, life is for having fun.......meow ;)

[Tracy Irving]

You won't be lynched but might take some heat from those helped by therapy.

[Meghan4now]

Gosh Suzi, guess it depends on where in each country you go. Sure, rowdies from Newcastle might not, but that little mincing Georgie from London way? Kind of like a red neck from Mississippi or a Blue Blood Yank from Connecticut!

And before you all get bent out of shape, remember I'm a dude who likes to wear women's cloths and call my self Meghan. I am not one to be casting stones.

And I don't have a therapist, but maybe I should?

[alwayshave]

I'm with Meghan, the U.S. is not monolithic.

[rachael.davis]

Of course it was tongue in cheek, and whats wrong with getting a little cat fight going anyway?

Remember girls, life is for having fun.......meow ;)

OK - you've had your laugh, now go down into the tubes and start singing "There will always be an England"

HMMMM - can't seem to find a sticking my tongue out at you emoticon

[Teresa]

Suzy,
The big problem with the UK is budget cuts within the NHS.

I did get general counselling through my GP and went onto see a gender counsellor again through him , my 16 sessions finished at six through budget cuts. I didn't mind as much because of my age but my counsellor felt bad about younger couples having no where to turn especially on low incomes .

The clinics are overflowing, one concern I have is the age is getting younger , that is a real concern about what has changed so much in our society to see so very young children at gender clinics .

I can't jump on my soap box about ways to save the NHS, but if something doesn't radically change soon we won't have a health service .

To take up some other comments , I have been surprised how the UK society is more accepting of our CDing than many of our US members .

Don't forget the saying , " Many a true word spoken in jest !"

I know we joke about the US having a therapist for everything, and the Brits are known for soldiering on .

[Laura912]

As Bill the Cat was wont to say, " THBLBBBBPTH!" Note the use of "wont." Just trying to speak a little English. Therapy comes in many forms, professionals, good friends who listen, good friends who write, and, for some, from within ones self. And of course, there are all you lovely people.

[Robertacd]

I can't say that I have ever been to a therapist except for the ones my parents drug me to when I was young trying to cure me.

The only thing I learned in therapy was tell adults (and therapists) what they want to hear and life will be easier because nobody really wants to hear the truth.

[NicoleScott]

Suzy, are you trying to start a fight between the Yanks and Brits? Fine, we'll kick your ass............again.

[greeneyes]

Nicole....LMAO!

[Elizabeth G]

Hi Suzy,

Sure, I go to therapy, my next appointment is tomorrow as a matter of fact. It's not necessarily for me as I have long since accepted myself for who and what I am, but it has been very beneficial for my wife as she comes to terms with my crossdressing.

Elizabeth

[Stacy Darling]

My Girls and I shall once again come in and pick up the pieces for you lot!

Just another Aussie watching your back!

Stacy!

[Julie Slowinski]

Long answer:
I went to a therapist for a short time as a teenager, not for cd reasons, but cuz I was a wild child. It really turned my life around. Probably could have used some therapy about cd issues earlier in life, but that would have meant coming out to the therapist - way to scary. So, guess I'm with Suzy, I just toughed it out until I got old enough to accept myself and know in my heart that there is nothing wrong with me (well actually there are a lot of things wrong with me, but cd'ing is not one of them).

Short answer:
We Chicago girls don't need no stupid therapy and any-a-you says otherwise is gonna get their asses kicked!!!

������ Julie

[Sheila11]

Therapy? I don't need no stinking therapy!

When I was a kid we were taught that people went to therapist because they were sick in the head.
You don't even go to a doctor unless it is to reattach a severed body part.
Just rub some dirt on it and move on.

Latter in life I found that we were dirt poor and could not afford a doctor visit.
It is still difficult for me to break that thought pattern and go see a doctor.

[Pat]

I think you're not doing apples-to-apples here. American CDs don't generally go to therapists either. Both American and British folks who need to go through transition generally do. You guys do it because, as I understand it, NHS requires it for you to get treatment. In the US it's *mostly* required by physicians who provide transition services (though there are some places you can get HRT without a therapist's letter.) So, as usual, we are more alike than different. ;):usa:

(Really? We don't have a Union Jack emoji? :eek:)

[Stacy Darling]

So how far can a "Shit-Car-Go"?

As far as some dumb American will push it!

Stacy!

Should I put kisses after that? xxx

[Sarah Doepner]

Well, I went to a therapist because I'm a delicate flower that was in jeopardy of wilting if I didn't get personal validation.

Actually I went to a therapist because of the strange political world we've been tossed into. I wanted to be sure I could get a letter to carry around indicating I'd seen a mental health professional who determined I am transgender and not a threat to society. That record of counseling may also be helpful when I go to court to get a name change.

[ClosetED]

I went to a therapist to deal with my wife's response to my dressing and the marital problems thus engendered. I came to my own acceptance and self-awareness. Now if I could only not care what other people think, I could be free.
Hugs, Ellen

[Dana44]

I never went to a therapist. I toughed it out and had to accept myself and work thru all that mental issues myself. It took me years to find out my gender fluid condition and that it was alright. I am happy with myself and mostly non-binary now as I look pretty girly even in male clothes.

[Heidi Stevens]

Hey Suzy, I got the reference. But there are a lot of tough ladies in the US too. I came to a conclusion a few years back that I was not a CD, but actually Trangender. For me to safely "carry on" I had to have a therapist certify that I actually was a transgender. Her OK has allowed me to progress.

[Cheryl T]

Must be difficult to put on lipstick with that stiff lip...lol.

Who needs a therapist ?? As I tell people ... I used to be Schizophrenic, but WE'RE ok now !:hugs:

[Sarasometimes]

I think you Brit Cd'ers have it easy, in America there is no song God Save the Queen, so we feel more left out. Tongue in cheek, of course!

[Alice Torn]

Suzy, Some of us loners just need someone to talk with sometimes. My cats do ok. I think Americans are the most messed up people on the planet, also speaking for myself.

[DIANEF]

My mother taught me to look after myself from an early age, so I've never seen a therapist or even felt the need to. I have always been happy in my girl clothes and have no feelings of shame or self loathing. Sara, I wouldn't say us Brits had it any easier or harder than anyone else and as for God Save the Queen, I'm a devout anti royalist. Alice, my three cats don't care how I'm dressed, it's feed me and then go away if I'm in drab or femme!

[AllieSF]

I think that the Brits are just slow learners! :love::devil::drink:

[DIANEF]

In most surveys neither the UK or USA of A do particularly well in world education rankings, though most put the UK higher:love:

[Aunt Kelly]

American CD girls go to their therapists.

Have a care now, before ya go ta callin' me an American, ya stenkin' Brit. Me ancestors will have ya know t'is Irish blood flows through these veins. Might explain why I've never spent a penny on therapy. With my genes, Guinness is just as effective, and a might cheaper too. :tongueout

[DIANEF]

t'is Irish blood flows through these veins. . :tongueout

Mine too (Irish parents). I'll join you in supping a drop of the dark stuff !:drink:

[Sometimes Steffi]

I forgot most of my history, but I'm sure that's why we revolted against England. We had to pay the Stamp Tax on the referral to a therapist.

[Ineke Vashon]

A patient in Hawaii on a well deserved vacation wrote her therapist: "Having a wonderful time. Why?"

Ineke

[kimdl93]

Since I have a financial interest in getting people to go to therapy, I don't suppose I should enter the fray.

[Tracii G]

I could make a joke about Brits and bad teeth but that would be crass.

[Sallee]

I'll go with Meghan too Not that I need one or want one But they might be nice to chat with and then they could tell me I am just a normal CD LOL

[Gillian Gigs]

All the smart ones immigrated to the new world! We're smart enough to see when we need help, so we go and get it!

[suzanne]

Suzy, you may be right, but I think there's a reason. The US is a sex negative society that never learned, as Europe did in the 1940's, the disastrous results of paranoid xenophobia. So many here never learned to live and let live and chose instead to hate. Not everyone, of course, but enough that we know it only takes one crazy to ruin your day, and that he may be just around the next corner. When the president then attempts to roll back protection for LGBT people, it's easy to feel enough guilt or paranoia to seek professional help and affirmation.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Americans pay very dearly for their therapy. It's multiples of what it costs in the UK. It's also seen as more normal to seek therapy.

One of the instances where I'd have to say the US acts more intelligently than the UK.

To anyone contemplating therapy - go for it. Just be very sure that you're picking the right therapist, or your money will be completely wasted.

[sometimes_miss]

The folks here are a very small percentage of all who crossdress on a regular basis (or are TG). What, about 30,000 out of the hundreds of millions that do it? Besides, I'm not sure of why anyone would assume that everyone needs to be in constant therapy for their entire life. If crossdressing doesn't severely impact your ability to live, why go to therapy? OTOH, If it's screwing up what you want out of life, well, there's the reason. But then, of course, once you've come to the realization that there's no longer anything that a therapist can do to improve the situation, there really isn't any reason to bother with it, unless of course you wish to be one of the guinea pigs for the mental health profession while they practice their trade on you, just to further their knowledge of how to treat patients who crossdress.

More to the point, I tend to think that many of us get the push into therapy because of how the other people in our lives, usually our SO, isn't able to deal with learning that they're with a guy who crossdresses. It seems that they often initially agree to go with us to get US straightened out, but find the 'expert opinion' that will support their feelings, wind up telling them that we aren't evil freaks. And even then, many won't accept it, which often has a great impact on us.

[JocelynJames]

I have yet to see a therapist and have no plans. To each their own , do what works for you , just like partial dressing, w/ or w/o wig/makeup.

[Tracii G]

I never sought professional therapy for CDing just coming here and going to support group meetings helped me figure things out.

Many people can't so therapy is a viable option.

[DIANEF]

I could make a joke about Brits and bad teeth but that would be crass.

Or all Americans being fat.....which would also be.

[Stacy Darling]

Hate to disrupt a good war, but anyone needing therapy should become an Australian citizen!

We're not racist!

I Go to therapy as my wife sent me there! and I went voluntarily! Ok so it was a PECC ward ( psychiatric ward ) but hey! I now go to messed up therapy 3days per fortnight and my government pays for it. If I wasn't a messed up Aussie I'd have a bill of over 100K this year alone.

Off track Stacy!

God Save the Queen!

[DIANEF]

We're not racist!!

I think some Aborigines would argue with that :eek:

[Cherylgyno]

No therapist for me being a cross dresser. Why would I do such a thing? I do go for PTSD. PTSD psych noticed that I was wearing pantyhose once. She asked why. I said because I am a cross dresser. She asked if I wanted to stop. I said no way. The end.

[Tracii G]

Great answer Cheryl

[Stacy Darling]

Yatta Yatta! Diane!

"Maralinga", the only time the Brits gave the Aboriginals something for free, ! "Sunglasses"

Don't piss on the good girls!
Stacy!

[jhasmine]

This is actually a very touchy subject. No CD should have to seek therapy unless you suffer from any anxiety and would like support from an outside person to help gain support with your internal family or something like that. I received support from a fellow co-worker who gave me the courage to speak to my wife about it. My wife supported me in telling my family. Now I go all over the place dressed up like it's a natural occurrence. What we Americans' need to do though, is understand that America, revolves around money. If you can do things without money, its illegal. LOL

Now, i am not saying that therapy is a bad thing either. It's good to understand why you feel "different". But make no mistake, CD's don't need therapy. Just a larger bank account to support both gender clothing. ROFL

[Alice Torn]

I go to a VA therapist once every few months, and i could and would not go, if I had to pay big bucks for it. The cost burden causes more stress, and anguish.

[Kayliedaskope]

HMMMM - can't seem to find a sticking my tongue out at you emoticon

Rachel, that would be using the colon punctuation with a letter "p" after it, like this : p
Put them together, and they become this :p


And my doctor says I'm doing MUCH better now ......


"And when you call up that shrink in Beverly Hills,
You know the one, Dr. Everything's-Gonna-Be-All-Right,
Don't ask him how much of your time is left,
But how much of your mind, baby...."
-Prince, "Let's Go Crazy"

[grace7777]

I decided to try to find if Americans actually do go to therapists more than the British.
So I Googled 2 phrases.
"percent of Americans who have been to a therapist"
Here is a source I found on that.
www.phoenix.edu/.../university-of-phoenix-survey-reveals-38-percent-of-individuals-w...
The other phase I Googled is
"percent of British who have been to a therapist"
below is a source I found on that.
www.independent.co.uk/.../britons-are-going-to-therapy-in-record-numbers-9593217...

From the articles, 27% of Americans have received professional counseling, and 28 per cent of people in the UK have consulted a counsellor or psychotherapist, compared to just one in five people in 2010.

The American source is from 2013, and the British source is from 2014.

It seems both countries have a lot of people who are seeking therapy, so therapists are not only for Americans. No every survey is going to have a margin of error, so maybe the results are not as close as the surveys represent.

[Aunt Kelly]

At the risk of driving this thread further into the "seriousness ditch"...
I must agree with the notion that an awful lot of the psychological and social problems we Yanks face are due to our Puritanical past. As our culture finally grows out of that dark collective ethos, we find it polarizing. Those with a need to hang on to a rigid moral authority handed down to them are at odds with those who are willing to question that authority, especially when it yields so much pain and suffering.

[Tracy Irving]

Never seen a therapist. Never thought about going to a therapist. What I wear is none of their business.

If someone ever told me I should should seek one out I would listen to Aunt Kelly first!


Guinness is just as effective, and a might cheaper too.

[Aunt Kelly]

I love yer style, lass. Someone says "You need help", and t'is to a drunken Irish crossdresser you'd turn.

[ellbee]

Is this one of these things where one sees only what they want to see?


Maybe I should start a thread about how I've *never* been to therapy for my CD'ing, since I've never felt the need to? :strugglin


Actually, I'd probably be a little scared to, these days. Next thing I'd know, they'd be convincing me that I was actually TS & pushing hormones on me. :brolleyes:

I actually thank my lucky stars that I'm not an impressionable kid/teenager these days...

[Robertacd]

At the risk of driving this thread further into the"seriousness ditch"...

I found nothing humorous at all in this thread.

[Judy-Somthing]

When I first told my wife (after 35 years of marriage) I wanted to dress and then a year later I told her I had had women's clothes and have been dressing since 5 or 8 she said I should go see a therapist for help with my problem!
I said "ya right, problem"!
Well over the last year she makes remarks like "I can imagine what your dresses look like"
She did say she would leave me if I kept dressing.

I hid my dressing for over thirty years so I'm pretty sure I can continue to hid it if I have to.

[Aunt Kelly]

I found nothing humorous at all in this thread.

The OP seemed to indicate that humor was the intent. As is often the case, this thread has taken on a life of it's own and parts of it have taken on a fairly serious tone. Or... you just have a high standard for "humorous". Neither of those things trouble me, but some of the misconceptions about the goals and methods of gender therapy are a little concerning. Then again, maybe Laurababe's gift for sarcasm has surpassed me. Sarcasm is a tricky thing, in a medium where the traditional cues (inflection, facial expression) are absent.

[suzy1]

I found nothing humorous at all in this thread.

I think some people take life a bit too seriously sometimes, but that's just my opinion based on the fact that I have a warped sense of humor? :)

[Barbara Black]

Could I afford it, I would probably see a therapist. I've been self diagnosing and repairing myself for so many years that I would be surprised at much, however, I would have realized my feminine side long ago had I a good therapist. I've never been too enamored with them though.

[NicoleScott]

Suzy, I thought the OP was tongue-in-cheek, so I and many others replied accordingly. Some people don't have a sense of humor.

[Robertacd]

I have a great sense of humor there is just nothing humorous about therapy.

[suzy1]

I have a great sense of humor there is just nothing humorous about therapy.

There is about our British stiff upper lip. We British can laugh at ourselves don't you know, what what, tallyho and all that.
I just can't take life too seriously, even if there is a serious side to it. We are only here for a short time so life is a party and I try to enjoy it to the full till the end. :dance:

[NicoleScott]

I have a great sense of humor there is just nothing humorous about therapy.

Maybe you need to talk to your therapist about your sense of humor, or lack thereof.
Lighten up - it's a fun thread.

[Stacy Darling]

Nice subtle touch Nicole!

I near have my therapist wetting herself when we are in session!
( my govt. covers my bill as well, what is 100k a year to them )
Some of us laugh at life!
I Do!

Therapy three days per week!

Just an Autistic Chick in a skirt!
Stacy!

[Robertacd]

Maybe you need to talk to your therapist about your sense of humor, or lack thereof.
Lighten up - it's a fun thread.

I don't find personal attacks humorous either.

[AllieSF]

I have been in therapy a few times and always enjoyed the humor when it arises. Yes, some sessions and reasons for therapy might be very serious and humorless, but that does not mean that is the only way, nor is it the norm.

[Roberta Lynn]

I wonder if therapist see therapist or do they just look in the mirror and talk to themselves?:strugglin:)

[Beverley Sims]

Suzy,
Nobody out there lynching you as long as those that can see the light side can smile and those that have serious problems can see what the other side thinks.

A good even and readable thread.

I work in an environment that trains psychologists and those that wish to become psychiatrists later in life, with the many different outlooks from the students studying I see the inner battles between both professions.

Yes there is a lot of humour in it and some quite expert in their professions.

Oh! let's not get off track here. :-)

[rachaelsloane]

Suzy,
Guess I live in the wrong country as I'm with you ".....just get on with it".
I'd also add having a glass (never going to happen) of wine is much less expensive than therapy.
Rachael

[Aunt Kelly]

I have a great sense of humor there is just nothing humorous about therapy.
I beg to differ. An entire group of comics has made careers out of that shtick. Taken in the abstract, as the OP did, it is fair game.

[jack-ie]

On the Bob Newhart show, His profession was ___________ ? Bingo!!

[jhasmine]

weather it be beer or therapy. To each their own vices. Some talk, some drink. we all use our mouths. :)

[Kayliedaskope]

Make it a couple of pints of Guinness instead of beer, Jhasmine, and me and the drunken Irish CD will drink to that. \_/(_)

[Robertacd]

On the Bob Newhart show, His profession was ___________ ? Bingo!!


The owner of Stafford Inn. :P

[Julie Slowinski]

I found nothing humorous at all in this thread.

Hi Roberta,
I believe the OP and most posting to this thread know the seriousness of the subject and how important therapy can be - in some cases life saving. However, I liken it to a close friend elbowing you about one of your vulnerabilities that only they know about. It's okay cuz you know their true feelings and making light of the situation can even be (dare I say) 'therapeutic'.

Now, I'm sure there are some that truly believe that therapy is a fools errand, and while I believe in their right to express their honest opinion, I also believe it is in extremely poor taste, especially in this particular venue (where so many are confused and could benefit greatly from a bit of counseling).

Finally, to Nicole and the others who thought it would be funny to pile on to someone's serious concern, I think I might have to call HR and ask them to document your insensitivity. That should teach you a lesson. (I think I feel another hairball coming up.)

- - - Updated - - -


The owner of Stafford Inn. :P

LMAO - Clearly you have a great sense of humor.

[NicoleScott]

Julie, you call me insensitive? I'm highly offended. I need a safe space where I don't have to take such abuse. Bring on the coloring books, pillows, puppies. I need a hug.

This thread was never meant to he serious (ask Suzy). If someone doesn't want to participate in the fun, they should opt out rather than try to shut it down. A person's supersensitivity about a topic doesn't make those who have fun with it insensitive.

[Julie Slowinski]

My Dear Nicole,
When 4 girls start lobbing therapy jokes at a girl that just said she doesn't appreciate therapy jokes, it's pretty clear to everyone that the 4 of you are on the wrong side of a safe space and most would agree that insensitive is a gross understatement. You 'girls' should be ashamed of yourselves!!!

Based on Roberta's response, in comparison to yours, it is clear that she is the one with the thicker skin. So, it would seem that you are correct, you are in greater need of the cookies and coloring books.

💋💋💋 Julie

[suzy1]

I never meant this to be anything but a bit of fun.
I am walking away from this thread and washing my hands of it. Apologies to those that got upset or offended by it. I will think twice before ever starting anymore threads here again.

[Julie Slowinski]

Hi Suzy,
I think you are fine. It's perfectly healthy to laugh at ourselves as long as we acknowledge that that's all that it is, which you did make abundantly clear. Despite the seriousness of life, we wouldn't want it to get too boring.

[Beverley Sims]

Oh! come on girls...........

LIGHTEN UP!

[jack-ie]

Suzy starts a fun thread, It gets hijacked and turned into something it was never meant to be. Now we have a self appointed referee approving and disapproving posts. Suzy is right in walking away from the thread. Me too!

[Julie Slowinski]

I fully support the right of everyone (and when I say everyone I mean everyone) to express their opinion. So, referee? No. Just expressing my own opinion.

I believe I've said several times that I am a fan of the original notion of this thread, even made my own joke and laughed at the Shit-Car-Go reply. IMHO the thread got soured the minute flippant responses were given to an honest concern.

Oh yeah, one more thing - Self Appointed?!? More like drafted. Let's remember who started mocking the ideas put forth in my very first thread. Quite the welcome wagon you girls are ...

[Aunt Kelly]

Suzy starts a fun thread, It gets hijacked and turned into something it was never meant to be. Now we have a self appointed referee approving and disapproving posts. Suzy is right in walking away from the thread. Me too!
It's worse than that, IMO. There is such a thing as "overly sensitive". Someone who finds offense in someone else observing differences in cultural stereotypes (not individuals) is being overly sensitive. The humor is in the differences in how we deal with coming to grips with our "condition", not the condition nor the "coming to grips". Anyone in this group who is offended by that needs to do whatever it is that she needs to do to let go of the shame about themselves, their condition, ...or their therapy. None of this was aimed at you. You'll be a lot happier when you grasp that.

[Kayliedaskope]

-breaks out the black-and-white striped referee shirts, miniskirts, black heels, and passes around whistles-