A story about overcoming the guilt

[Alexandria]

Last week, I mentioned I had a guilty feeling after spending a lot on some clothing. There's so many clothes out there and although I have the finances to get what I like, fear and guilt come into play "What if I get found out by a family member?" "What if crossdressing is just a phase?" "What if I never get a chance to wear my clothes due to x being at home all the time?" "What will my friends think having this be my xth blouse this week?".

As a recently rediscovered CD, I have been struggling with these questions for the past week. Having to build up an entire wardrobe takes time, money, and patience. While I've had plenty of money, I've been raised as a thrifty saver "Gosh I spent $3 on a box of cookies! I am so screwed" despite that I have the finances to afford these.

This comes in major conflict with my crossdressing. Feeling guilty about spending $3 on cookies is one thing, but spending $50 on a pair of boots that I'll only wear in private when the family is not around is something that elevates the guilt to a new level.

So I talked about this to a GG friend yesterday, I've told her "I got enough clothes as it is, I don't need anymore"

I expected her to tell me I made the right decision, instead she said "Haha good luck! Give a few more days and you won't handle the temptation"

A few days later and I was back on eBay looking at clothes and trying to reason myself against any sort of clothing binge. Again I asked a few GG friends for guidance. What they had to say was very encouraging.

One of my GG friends said "I have so many clothes I can open up a thrift store...if you can afford it, don't be afraid to get what you like and don't be afraid to wear your CD clothes as much as you can, otherwise you may miss many opportunities as a crossdresser and in life"

Good words of wisdom from a great friend. Afterwards I got myself my first pair of boots, a japanese school girl uniform, and a fantastic sexy blouse that I've had my eyes on for weeks! Her reaction "I am very proud of you that your able to overcome these fears." :)

Do I feel guilty? Not anymore. I think of all the missed opportunities I had because of fear and guilt and that it's something I need to gradually overcome.

[Teresa Amina]

I'm amazed at how little you really have to spend on eBay to get good stuff. Have you checked the eBay store Leigh's Garage Sale? Got two blouses with skirts and a sweater for about $40. Compared to what I spent to get nice breastforms and a Veronica clothes are CHEAP!:)

[GypsyKaren]

Hi Ajax

Geez, do I ever know how you feel about maybe enough is enough. I've run out of closet room and now I've also taken over the one in the guest bedroom.

I've never really felt guilty about it though because I'm a very good shopper. I get most of my things at thrift stores, you have to do a lot of rummaging through it all, but I've found some real cute stuff. I also shop the clearance racks a lot, yesterday I bought a nice wrap dress for $2 at K-Mart, you just can't beat that. I also have great luck at Kohl's, they always have great sales and I like their selection a lot.

Shopping is quite a disease, isn't it? It just seems like I can't stop, I really enjoy looking at everything to pass the time, and I always end up buying something. Oh well, could be worse I guess.

Karen

[Alexandria]

I just checked out Leigh's Garage Sale. It's a decent CD specialty store, but my favorite for clothing is Blue Banana. You HAVE to see their clothes, it's to die for!

Gypsy, I haven't had much luck with thrift stores. I did find a decent skirt and blazer once, but most of the clothes at the thrift stores here aren't my taste. Kohls has a fantastic selection though, one of my favorite stores :).

Mostly I do my shopping online or at trendy stores in the mall. Most of the stuff isn't cheap, but it's not overwhealmingly expensive either (you'll never see me get something at Saks). But when I get clothes I tend to stay very trendy and stylish ;).

I still consider myself a good shopper. I might splurge a little bit and spend more than I intended on a fantastic blouse or dress...but typically I try to stay under $15. As far as guilt goes, there's much worse things to be addicted to than shopping for clothes :).

[MissHelen]

Yay you! Nice to hear you bought the Japanese schoolgirl uniform, I didn't get a chance to reply to when you showed me it last night, it does look cute and good on you for going ahead. Are you going to let us see you in it when it arrives? :)

[Alexandria]

Yay you! Nice to hear you bought the Japanese schoolgirl uniform, I didn't get a chance to reply to when you showed me it last night, it does look cute and good on you for going ahead. Are you going to let us see you in it when it arrives? :)

Hehe no problem. It was between that or a simple sailor uniform. My GG friend insisted I get this one. The lacing on the back is quite fantastic too! I plan on wearing it for a local convention with a few friends.

I'll let you all see my new outfits soon (I love taking pictures!). I just need to wait for my wig which should take about a week or so. I hve quite an expansive wardrobe already so you all will see a lot of different and unique outfits.

It's nice to have supportive GG and CD friends. Typically you'd think that most people advise AGAINST dressing up each day...but not my friends ;).

[Cathy Anderson]

I don't think you should feel guilty, but neither do I think you should spend a lot of money on girl's clothes.

Cathy

[sheena]

I use too feel very guilty not about buying clothes but about wanting to be a woman and cd'ing in secret. But now that I've come out to my wife, who has been very supportive, I don't feel guilty anymore. :happy: I only wish I had been honest sooner, but then we still had children at home and I was fearful of losing the love of my life.
Now We go shopping together and she feels guilty about spending the money,lol, but I tell her not too. Life is too short.
Sheena

[Bonnie D]

If money is not a problem then I wouldn't worry about it. Closet space and dresser space would probably be the major obstacle. I would try to recycle some of the stuff you've worn but know you won't wear again. Too bad there aren't any thrift stores for CDs only, you could donate some of your clothes there. Some of your gg or cd friends may want something or you can give them to the existing thrift stores.

Bonnie

[Alexandria]

If money is not a problem then I wouldn't worry about it. Closet space and dresser space would probably be the major obstacle. I would try to recycle some of the stuff you've worn but know you won't wear again. Too bad there aren't any thrift stores for CDs only, you could donate some of your clothes there. Some of your gg or cd friends may want something or you can give them to the existing thrift stores.

Bonnie

My thoughts exactly. I do have plenty of space since I am basically starting my wardrobe from scratch again, and I already had a few requests from my GG friends to borrow clothing. :be:

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

If you've got the money and space, why worry about it? (If you're buying heels while the kids need shoes, that's another thing....)

OTOH, I learned a good rule about thinking in terms of the "cost per wearing." So spending $50 on boots you'll wear for years is a good investment. Spending $50 on something you'll wear once probably isn't. (Of course, I've bought stuff for special occasions that I might only wear once, but those are conscious exceptions to the rule.) Thinking about it that way is a good way of avoiding impulse purchase that never make it out of the closet.

[Alexandria]

If you've got the money and space, why worry about it? (If you're buying heels while the kids need shoes, that's another thing....)

OTOH, I learned a good rule about thinking in terms of the "cost per wearing." So spending $50 on boots you'll wear for years is a good investment. Spending $50 on something you'll wear once probably isn't. (Of course, I've bought stuff for special occasions that I might only wear once, but those are conscious exceptions to the rule.) Thinking about it that way is a good way of avoiding impulse purchase that never make it out of the closet.

That's sort of what I've been going by. I think "Ok, I can spend $30 on perhaps a couple of DVDs that I'll watch only a few times. Or I can spend it on this fantastic blouse that will last me many years!"

Fortunatly I don't buy clothes that I don't intend on wearing more than once :).