When did this happen?

[Jean 103]

I have this boyfriend Mr T. I've been seeing him for almost a year now. So the other day we are texting, he makes a statement then asks a question. Like so matter of fact. He said " since you transitioned have you ever...... " When did this happen? I guess it depends on your definition of the word. I basically live as Jean now. I still need my guy self to support me. I live like two lives. This week I'm taking a vacation from my guy life. I was going to go somewhere but why? I would rather stay here and live my life as just Jean.
I have this picture of Audrey Hepburn on my nightstand from the move breakfast at Tiffany's. I just love this movie. There are a couple of lines in the movie and they go something like this " You’re wrong. She is a phony. But on the other hand you’re right. She isn’t a phony because she’s a real phony. She believes all this crap she believes. You can’t talk her out of it. "

[Tracii G]

Do what makes you happy.
I usually stayed home on vacations because I traveled all the time doing my job.

[Pat]

Sometimes it's fun to see ourselves through other people's eyes.

Strictly speaking, Mr. T may well be right. If you are living as Jean in public in your daily life, that's a part of social transition. You still feel the need to present male for practical reasons, but the actor who plays, say, Spider Man, never actually stops being who they are -- they just wear a costume and stand where the director tells them in return for a paycheck. They are themselves in day-to-day life. It sounds like you may be living as Jean in day-to-day life. So, yeah, in that respect, you have transitioned.

The question is, does this change anything for you? Do you just take comfort for it, or does it make you want to go further? If Mr. T thinks you're transitioned (and we have to grant that he probably doesn't know the subtleties of the transgender community in this) does that make you think the others who encounter you may think the same? Does that sense give you a feeling of permission to be who you are? (Yeah, yeah, we're all rough, tough, individualists who don't need anyone's permission to do anything.)

[Jean 103]

Socially and in my day to day life I have. I'm sure that's what he ment, as he adds pre-op or post-op then referring to transgender's . Yes I have gotten the same type of feedback from the general public. To me the word means having the operation.

[Sarah Doepner]

Jean,

Every time I look in my closet and realize I have more dresses than I have pairs of work pants, or open the top drawer in the bathroom to find it full of cosmetics or dress and look in the mirror I ask myself the same question, "When did this happen?" It's been changes by such small increments that no individual change stands out but overall I know I'm not the same person I was even a few months ago and very different from the person I was several years ago.

I think it might turn out to be a different question eventually. Not "when did this happen?", but "am I still happy with what is happening?"

[Jean 103]

I do have somewhat of a date , it was a decision I made looking for the answer to your second question. A year and a half ago I rented a three bedroom house with two new roommates as Jean . This was thirdy miles away in the town I grew up in. It is walking distance to the bar, well everything it's a small town. I made a Pac with myself that I would dress every day with full make up for a year. This was forget the frying pan I jumped straight into the fire. That ended a few months ago and I moved back and just rent a room from the wonderful lady who excepts me as Jean a transgender person. I was living the dream and thru it all away. I was stretched too thin , hardly getting any sleep. There was so much going on, I felt I needed to remove myself from that situation. I feel I made the right decision . There are parts of that life a miss very much, like my exroommate's daughter who had become like a little sister to me.