very new here

[wanttobeopen]

I'm getting ready to move soon and I am in the back of the closet so to speak. But I through caution to the wind yesterday by going shopping for womens clothes, in a store full of women, dressed as a man. And for once I wasn't rushing in and out hoping no one saw me. I took my sweet time and even ask a women shopping there what she thought my size would be in a certain outfit. And to my surprise, she actually told me and was nice about it.
I have wasted so much money over the years rushing in and out without trying anything on. That's going to be my next hurdle. Hitting the dressing rooms to try before I buy. I just wish I could find a women to go with me. Just to get an honest opinion and some help fashion wise. But I really did enjoy the time shopping for once.
I do not have a female name yet and am open to suggestions. I feel it will come to me in time. Thanks for listening.

[Scarlett1975]

Wow congrats that's still very brave, names is a hard one and quite personal and depends if you want to change your name now to a girly version or go completely different

[Danielle Barton]

I have found internet shopping to be a real boon for this. I don't have your courage, I wish I did!

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Welcome to the forum!

Are you aware that large dept stores often have staff whose function is to act as a personal assistant to anybody who requests it? Plenty of members here have had really positive experiences with such people. They will advise you on everything, help you choose, show you to a fitting room etc, and if you phone ahead and explain your situation you can be certain that the store is LBGT-friendly.

[Lisa Roberts]

I used to rush in then out. I now take my time and enjoy the experience. Sometimes when I would be tentative I'd take a piece of men's clothes as a "cover" and try on my female selections in the men's dressing room. It's still questionable if a guy heads to the ladies dressing room. Don't want to alarm anyone. Also, plan on buying something, it's the right thing to do. Don't use their store as a place to play dress up!
Lace and Smiles,
Lisa

[BrendaPDX]

I still rush in and out, unless it's a Goodwill store or a thrift store, the SAs are always nice. Have fun at your new home.

[Tracy Irving]

I have wasted so much money over the years rushing in and out without trying anything on.

You could.save money by returning the items that don't fit the way you want them to. My wife often buys clothing and takes it home to try on. I don't want to waste the time returning stuff so I almost always try it on in the store.

If you feel the need to, use a men's shirt to cover the female clothing in your cart while you shop. But, the reality is that nobody really cares what is in your cart and it's none of their business anyway.

[Stacy Darling]

If you have the confidence to lady shop whilst in male mode you are as confident as I am, and the good assistants will come with some bad ones. look at womens styles which you like, look at their dimensions and accessories and confidently look in the mirror to duplicate a similar image ( never the same )

On a Name;
Don't be forced or rushed into a name.
Your name should to me be a name that you are so comfortable with that you can look into the mirror and say "Oh that's Me"

Stacy!

[Linda E. Woodworth]

I've done a lot of my shopping at Goodwill, thrift stores and consignment shops. Most often I'm in "male" mode but just own it and go about my business.

Nobody has ever cared and the fashion police must have been in the donut shops.

Best of all I took everything to the dressing rooms and tried stuff on. If it fit great, I bought it. If it didn't fit back to the rack it went. The bonus was everything was CHEAP! You can save a bundle shopping this way.

[Laura912]

Back in the age of dinosaurs, one of the members here suggested picking a name using one of your own initials. But then the was when people were more likely to travel with monogrammed luggage. It does make it easy on the address when ordering online, to have the package sent to "your initial" and then "your last name."

[Sheila B Kelly]

Really, really new here. Can't have anything delivered so HAD to shop in store.
Picked large stores, early on weekday mornings. Very stress inducing for a long time. Felt everyone, especially other shoppers were staring. Still not totally comfortable with it but I can confirm that there are loads of really nice helpful female sales assistants out there . :)
Sheila

[Tracii G]

You have jumped the first hurdle good for you.
The next one will be easier.

[JocelynJames]

Welcome to the group! Right on sister! Way to go.

[DIANEF]

First of all welcome to the Forum!

It is relatively recently that I started openly buying items for myself, rather than 'for my wife', and I found that each time it gets a little easier. I buy many items at the same shop, I like their stuff and the sizes are very consistent. Plus the sales staff are always very professional and courteous. As for a name only you can choose that, it will come to you sooner or later.

[Teresa]

It's good you calmed down and enjoyed your shopping , it does get easier and become more enjoyable, if you're not sure ask the SAs they want a sale so they will be prepared to help you and don't forget they want you to return to spend more.

As for a name , mine was easy I used the femme version of my male name . I chose it when I first registered on the forum, it accepted Teresa , now I'm so glad I did because I can move on and continue to use it as a plausible name on my mail .
My suggestion is chose one on the same basis if you eventually transition , being called Teresa at my social group makes me feel I've arrived.

[ClosetED]

Welcome to the Forum! You are comfortable to do that shopping, but as we have heard, most have no problems. I have read threads where a SA or two at a store came to know the regular customer and helped shop. Nordstrom is reputed to be very friendly and service oriented. If you are moving and find a store with your style of clothing, then introducing yourself as someone who wants to build a wardrobe using their line, they may be very glad for the repeat business and loyal customer and watch even for items you hope for.
As to name, that is very individual. There is a permanent thread about names, so you can read that. Ellen was a girl in elementary school (one of twins) who was very bubbly and pretty. And my sister's middle name so I know it was one my mother might have given me. I use ClosetED as a handle - in the closet, E for Ellen, D for last name.
Hugs, Ellen

[docrobbysherry]

I did that when I first began dressing, too, Wantobe. Now, I never do that. It's a waste of my time and energy! I shop for Sherry way too often to do that!

Why try things on in stores when my fem figure's at home? I simple use a small measuring tape to be sure things will fit my fem shape(s). (Of course, I adjust my figure to the outfit. You'll understand this later on.) Then, I buy. I do most of my shopping at thrift stores anyway. So, nothing costs much. Most will take returns or exchanges within a week. I can't be bothered, tho! If I don't like something? I Just donate it on my next visit!:heehee:

[lingerieLiz]

A couple things that might help. You can go to the store and pick out things you like. Buy them and take them home to try on. I can assure you that many women do the same thing. The other thing is some stores offer free pickup of online orders at the store. Macy's is one. Penny's is another. The nice part is then you can take them home try them on and decide.

I have a some friends that are store managers. We talked about shopping trends the other night. One of the things that stores are pushing is to get the customer to take the article home and try it. The percentage of customers who keep the garments is good.

[sometimes_miss]

I do not have a female name yet and am open to suggestions. I feel it will come to me in time. Thanks for listening.
FWIW, I only picked a female name after I came here and everyone else was doing it. So, I just joined the crowd. The downside to it is, it seems that there's a tendency, once you have started using a female name, to attempt to use it as a separate personality to assign any feminine feelings you might have, in an attempt to fool yourself into believing that you only have a female 'side' (we see this very often here as people start to refer to themselves in third person). But that isn't who you really are, all it is, is in order to maintain a delusion of being the perfect 'normal' masculine male that you feel the need to portray to the rest of the world. And while that might make it easier in the short term, to deny to ourselves who and what we really are, it only gets in the way if we ever need to figure out why we desire to wear feminine clothing, behave like females, and even sometimes have sexual feelings towards males. This is the 21st century, and there's nothing inherently wrong with any of that; so it's really just trying to hide in the past by denying what we really feel, all because of how we're brought up, and how we fear the rest of society will react to it.

If you don't go out as a female, or, more specifically, pass (or want to) as a female, you don't really need a female name.

[Teresa]

Lexi,
Sorry I don't agree with with you about the reason or having a name , certainly if you are TS it's important . The name isn't to fool anyone , I know it's easier for me because all I need do is change a Y for an I in my shortened version . I don't feel there's any hiding behind it and it doesn't make any difference to not having interest in men . Using Teresa has helped to unify me , I do agree it's of less importance if you are in the closet and no one knows about your dressing . Then perhaps you cold say a name is only used as part of the dressing act .

[faltenrock]

In the past many years I've been buying my clothes online and in stores. Now, since a few years I buy most clothes in stores dressed up as a female and didn't ever have any problem with it. It's so much fun and the people are really nice.

[Danielle Barton]

In the past many years I've been buying my clothes online and in stores. Now, since a few years I buy most clothes in stores dressed up as a female and didn't ever have any problem with it. It's so much fun and the people are really nice.

Have you received no hassle at all from any store? I don't think i am ready to pluck up that sort of courage. :S

[Sheila B Kelly]

The worst I've ever gotten is the SA looking at me with her mouth hanging open as I stood there with 3" heels in my hand ! It was one of my first shoe purchases and I must admit it set me back a little for a while .

[Sarah Doepner]

Being patient is a great asset in this world. It sounds like you are in the mood to make changes and progress, but there is no way and no need to do it all at once. As for a name, I understand the issue of having a female name and that making it more likely you split your behaviors rather than integrate them. I'm still working on being the same person regardless of how I'm presenting, but there are still a few noticeable differences between what you get from Dave and what you get from Sarah. Oh well, I knew the job was dangerous when I took it.

The driving force for me getting a name was finally being around other people. They needed a way to address me that 1) felt comfortable to them and 2) didn't attract undue attention if we were in a public place. I was driving down the highway one day and working on my voice when the name Sarah dropped out of my brain and into my mouth. It tasted and sounded right and I've been her ever since.

[Teresa]

Sheila,
I know that jaw on the floor look ! I was trying on a pair of 4" heeled boots in drab , the SA was just zipping them up when we became aware of a male shopper with his mouth wide open. She looked at me and started to giggle , I just couldn't contain myself ! After that we had a lot of fun trying on shoes, she teased me into buying a pair of blue swirl heels which really are fun to wear.

[CONSUELO]

Firstly a big welcome to our community. You will find lots of people who are just like you and struggling with many of the same issues. Search back through the old posts on this issue and you will find a lot of good advice.
As for shopping, I think we have all gone through the stage of thinking that we would be so conspicuous out buying female clothing. Then you realize that you are not and almost all of the SA's are only interested in helping you. Just be pleasant and polite and that will always get them on your side. Many of their customers are neither polite nor pleasant to them, so they welcome good customers.
Don't be rattled, just take your time and buy what works for you and remember you can always exchange if needed. Enjoy and relax and good shopping.

- - - Updated - - -

As for a suitable name, just take your time and a good idea will come to you. I chose a name that had nothing to do with my given name. It was one that I really liked and later I found was the title of a well-known novel. I love it and yes using it does reinforce my feminine self but it is not a disguise..

[Bruce64]

Welcome to the Group, I have to tell you it's much easier to go to a Store and get Women's clothing, I joined here last year and so far I got Brassieres, slips, tights, garter just to mention all in Person and hassle free. The first time or two was a bit hard and I was nervous now it's easy seems like an addition shopping for Bras and Panties sometimes I show the Sales Person I have a Brassiere on, hey good luck.

[donnalee]

One of the first times I bought something at a store was a Salvation Army in Chinatown. The elderly lady checking me out asked "For your lady?" I thought a moment and answered "Yes." Of course she didn't know my Lady was Me. It became my favorite skirt - I love rayon.

[Cherylgyno]

Want. Every one has a different way of shopping. Some prefer to use the net. Some (including myself until after college) do the in and out without checking method. Too expensive as we get things that don't fit at times.
Many years ago a SA asked if I was shopping for myself, I said yes. The SA was very helpful. When shopping with my wife she will inform an SA that she is shopping for her husband. Cross dressing is in every climb and place these days. Stores school their new hires to expect cross dressers. Together cross dressers are probably a billion dollar market.
You have taken the first step. Your shopping will only get easier from here. If you need a fitting, some stores will ask you to make an appointment.
I am guessing that you got a big rush shopping for your first time. That rush will fade. Shopping for feminine clothes is the same as shopping for masculine clothes.
Congrats on your first step.
These days you can Google girls names and get a list of hundreds.

[rian]

Well ...First of all welcome to the forum and being so brave from the beginning is a good start .....Yet shopping for all of us is the tip of the iceberg .in a world of women life ..it is the journey to the unknown ,,but to me it is the most joyful time because being a man looking around in women section at the stores will raise the eyebrows and that is exciting yet most of the time if I needed help I would introduce the " my wife wants this or that ..."but most of the time I would buy then go home and try ..I have never tried at the store ....On the other hand I advise you to choose your own name because it should be coming from your inner heart ..a name you choose by yourself ,,you would love it for sure because it will be personal to you ...imagine your family has named you whether you like it or not ....so take the opportunity to pick a lovely name that can be your identity .

[Susan Smokes]

I still buy all my clothing in person, however I never try anything on in the store, I take it home. If I have to ask for help, I say it is a gift for my wife or a friend.