Dressing more, enjoying less?

[AnnaBMarie]

A year ago my dreams came true and my SO fully embraced my feminine side. So much so that she became my personal shopper and jewelry designer. She likes thrift shops and rarely comes home without something for Anna. I now have an entire closet of clothes and lingerie and over 30 pairs of ultra cute heels and booties. My jewelry racks are full of bracelets and necklaces, and she has made me over 60 pairs of clip earrings. She lets me dress whenever I'm not working and is encouraging me to try new styles. Sounds like heaven, right?

So over the past few weeks I've only been working a few days a week preparing for retirement and spend most of my free time dressed. What I'm experiencing is wonderful, and at the end of the day as I put on my satin nightgown I'm happy. What I can't figure out is why the previous sensations have changed dramatically. I used to be really excited to have just a few hours in nylons and heels, and the sensuality of feeling bra straps and silk blouses and dangle earrings against my neck was intoxicating. Now, not so much. The more time I spend dressed the more it just seems... normal.

I'm into my 3rd day dressed as Anna. I haven't had any guy stuff on since Monday and while I'm still enjoying it immensely, the feminine "high" just isn't there. I hope to be able to continue being Anna, but I'm now wondering if after a few days/weeks/months I'll no longer feel the urge.

Anyone else experience this?

[Pat]

Because now it *is* normal? You're not bottling things up until you can dress and let it all out in a fizzy explosion of pink champagne? If you're happy at the end of the day, take it. ;) Yes, you lose the headiness but hopefully you find deeper, pervading happiness. If that wasn't what you were seeking, then go back and only dress once in a while. There are no requirements to meet.

[Rachael Leigh]

Anna, I think you hit on it when you said it's just normal. Yes I think once we don't have the fear or restrictions imposed
upon us it does become routine or normal. I don't think twice now if I'm going out to put on my makeup and any number of
my outfits now. In some ways it is still exciting, because I love working on doing my makeup.
So just sit back and enjoy the ride
Rachael Leigh

[Alice B]

Many of will feel your situation is ideal and would love to be in your dress and shoes. LOL. I have found that at times my desire to be Alice wains or goes away, sometimes for several months. But then it come back strongly. This may simply be your case. It is also possible that the feeling that you are doing something secretative and exciting has gone. Talk to your SO about this and see what she has to say. I am sure you both can find a way to make it exciting again. For one I would love to have your problem.

[Cheryl T]

About 10 years ago I came out fully to my wife. She is fully supportive and we go everywhere together.
I dress when I wish, which is daily when work is over, and what I've found is that I have become the "average" woman.
I don't run for my garter belt and stockings, my highest heels and my prettiest dress every day. In fact unless I'm going out somewhere fancy I hardly ever dress that way anymore.
Typically I'm in shorts or a skort with a cute top (it is summer still) and sandals. As the weather is turning cooler I'll be looking more to my skirts and slacks, but nylons will still be something for going out.

I can't say that my enthusiasm has waned at all, it's just that I've discovered I don't have to be a runway model to be happy with who I am.

[Alice Torn]

It is like having your favorite food and dessert, too often, so that it is not so tasty or special anymore. I found that dressing far less often, makes it much more enjoyable. Human nature gets spoiled fast!

[Nikki A.]

It may not be as exciting, but it feels more "normal" and right. Happy for you.

[Stephanie47]

It's is now your "Normal." Maybe you'll need a day or two or a week to revert to "boy" clothes. When you're in full retirement mode you may find being en femme 24/7 365 to be too confining.

[jack-ie]

I agree with Cheryl 100%. Just because I don't experience a euphoric high every time doesn't mean I don't enjoy or don't still need to dress. I no longer feel the need to spend an hour on my makeup just for my daily routine. Jumping into my shorts, jeans, or a skort and a top is just daily wear but still an important part of my feminine being. And what girl doesn't want to get all dolled up now and then with all that goes with it. Maybe You and your wonderful understanding lady should schedule special events to prevent things from going stale. Dinner for two in your own home can be special if planned and treated as an event.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Anna Marie :hugs:, That is what happens when a Hobby becomes a full time job,

That happened to me with my model railroad, the hobby became a job I just walked away from it for a year...:daydreaming:...

[Robertacd]

Feeling "normal" when dressed is what set us apart from the fetishists who dress just to get off.

[Tracii G]

I'm get the feeling you are not happy with it feeling normal?
You have what 99% of CDers dream they had as far as clothes and an accepting wife and yet you seem unhappy is that what I am sensing?

Goes to show when you have everything you want you can still be unhappy.
A late friend or mine suffered from this malady.
Had all the money he could ever want and more than he could spend in a lifetime actually yet he was never happy.

[Princess Chantal]

It is like having your favorite food and dessert, too often, so that it is not so tasty or special anymore. I found that dressing far less often, makes it much more enjoyable. Human nature gets spoiled fast!

You are bang on there Alice. Once my crossdressing became not as special (as it once was) due to doing it often, I decided to change it up and take on a more diverse methods of crossdressing (public outings, at home dressing, fetish wear, MIAB, undersdressing, vintage costume dressing, blend-in dressing, night club dressing, etc). I was still doing it just as often, but after a few years any of the crossdressing methods seemed to be not as special. Now days, I cut down on the crossdressing sessions and still keep the dressing very diverse. It is at the point of being special again, but who knows for how long..... perhaps the special feeling will become lost and my interest in crossdressing would follow.

[Jean 103]

Everyone is different, where this goes from here is up to you . Yes the more you dress and if you do go out the more normal you will feel. It doesn't mean you will want to dress less. Maybe take some time and think about where you see yourself in a year.

[Tracii G]

Try a vastly different style or look to break up the mundane routine.

[Ineke Vashon]

Anna - you are preparing for retirement, thus you are not a youngster. Those of us starting to age, or are aged, change our cd desires from physical to emotional, comfortable, "normal' if you wish. All goes with the territory. Not to worry, your pink season will change, might go away and return, :):sad::o:battingeyelashes:just like the yearly seasons.

Enjoy, especially your wonderful SO.

Ineke

[Jaymees22]

Actually I find it better to dress less and then use it as a coping mechanism when I need it. I seem to have about a 4 hour limit dressed then I've had enough. You should probably try different periods of time dressed and see what works best for you.

[Robin777]

You say you are still enjoying it immensely,just not getting the high. As long as you are enjoying it, what is there to worry about? It is just becoming the normal. As long as you enjoy it, do it. If it gets to be a chore then it is time to slow down.

I dress to relieve stress. I usually don't get the high like I did when I started dressing . I just enjoy the way it helps me relieve the stress.

[Cherylgyno]

Anna. Every one is different, this is my opinion. I lost the rush/high about 30 years ago. The feeling of dressing is as pleasurable today as it was the first time when I was 6 year's old.
I believe that the rush partly comes from the stereotype that cross dressing is wrong. From hiding and getting away with it.

[Teresa]

Anna,
I'm expecting this to happen for myself, I intend to dress most days and just get on with life it is a small step to transition TSs must feel totally OK in their new way of living , normal and comfortable being the the goal and not the high of wearing sexy underwear and sky high heels.

Your wife shops to top up your closet and maybe hopes it will stay in the closet, would she keep doing it if you went out the door on a daily basis ?

I have already experienced the normal feeling by going to my social meetings, driving to the hotel and ordering afternoon tea, sitting in a comfortable lounge enjoying it and seeing guests and the public pass by . In that respect normal has to happen otherwise it would be much harder to do it .

[docrobbysherry]

No. But, I'm a CD, not a TS. Which u sound like u may be now, Anna. Whether or not u were one before.

The difference is; I have no desire to throw on a few "comfortable" fem things. I put on the whole nine yards or forget about it! And, when I'm finished dressing to the 9's is the thrill still there? U bet your 5" heeled booties it is!:devil:

I do that 4 or 5 times a month. More than that causes "Sherry burnout"!:doh:

[faltenrock]

I keep my excitement high whenever I get a chance to go out dressed. While the pressure to dress again is increasing over a few weeks, I usually go out when I really need to have that wonder feeling going out dressed and doing things that a normal woman would do.

[rian]

Yes I agree with you Anna , since I was forced to travel in a long trip away from home for a period of six months , I had the chance to be myself again as Rianna , so after a while the normal woman in me had complete satisfaction and the high intensity which I experienced at home was different since I could only dress when the kids are not home ,,where as here by my self it is most of the time ....Yet we can agree the longer we spend as a woman the more pleasure we get ....

[Micki_Finn]

My speculation is that you were getting off (for lack of a better term) on the adrenaline rush caused by your dressing before your wife found out. You're used to that huge endocrhrine rush you used to get from the "forbidden". Now that your wife knows there's not really the same danger so you're not creating that "rush" anymore. As long as you're happy keep doing what you're doing.

[Charona]

I think you are running into the same thing that happens to teenagers who finally become old enough to legally buy alcohol. Once it becomes okay, part of the thrill goes away.

[Dana44]

The urge will always be there and after a while it just becomes normal and the rush isn't there any more but you are happy as yourself.

[CONSUELO]

You are in a good place. You say you are enjoying it immensely so just relax and go with the situation. I know that for me part of the intense enjoyment of dressing were the feelings of sexual excitement. Dressing more seems to satisfy something different within you. A calmer but in some ways more gratifying state.

ENJOY!

[kimdl93]

I think there is a difference between the "high" and feeling "normal". Most CDrs at some life stage have experienced the high - sexual or otherwise - associated with dressing. It might have been as simple as a thrill associated with a new, seemingly forbidden fruit. With regular opportunities and acceptance, one would expect (and hope) that the experience of the high might diminish.

I suppose then one of two things might happen: A) you might seek new ways to hit the high....which runs the risk of becoming an escalating, addictive cycle with the associated hazards; or B) as you've experienced, expressing this part of yourself becomes "normal"...comfortable...someone and someplace you prefer to be.

I've experienced both the destructive aspects of A) and the more sustainable, comfortable expression in B). In the end, I'd take B any day.

[CynthiaD]

These days I am dressed en femme most of the time. There was a time, however, when I dressed very seldom. The feelings are quite different now. When I dressed only rarely, the feelings were intense, sometimes almost sexual in intensity (but distinctly different). Now, female clothing is just my normal clothes. Despite the change in feelings I enjoy dressing more than ever. I love the feeling of normality. The feeling that this is how I'm supposed to look. I don't miss the intense feelings, and I'm actually glad they are gone. The feelings were intense because I would go for days or even weeks denying who I really was and pretending to be someone else. When I could finally release my inner self it was like eating a meal after weeks of starving. To push the analogy further, I'd rather eat regular meals than starve myself for weeks waiting for an intense feeling of relief.

I still really enjoy looking in the mirror and seeing a woman look back at me, but it's an everyday occurrence now, and this is the way it should be.

[Diane Taylor]

When I first started dressing it was definitely a big HIGH but as I dressed more and more and was comfortable with it, it became very routine and I like that.

[arial]

I believe my wardrobe consists more of female than male attire. That being said, I dress accordingly. Nothing epic. Just everyday I pick out what I'm going to wear and how my makeup will look. Pretty routine.