Had the Talk Again

[Glenda58]

Wife ask me if I was ever going stop wearing women's cloths. I said no been doing all my life and don't plan on stopping. She said that was the first honest thing I said about dressing up but she doesn't like it. Since then she has left my things alone. told her if she toss anything out that she found I would just go out and but twice as many more. Now I have some things that I can use every day that she doesn't mess with but some of my nicer out fits I have to keep hinted away plus all my heels.

Now she goes away for a day or a weekend to leave me alone to dress (like right now) and doesn't come home and ask what I've been doing. So things have gotten better between us.:)

[Dana44]

Very good Glenda, Sounds like she is more accepting and gives you the time to be yourself. That is pretty good.

[kimdl93]

Thats encouraging. Now, give it some time and keep your eyes and ears open for any hint of a willingness to talk more about both what she is feeling and what you can do to reassure her.

[natalie edwards]

"Goes away for a day or a weekend"....with who?
Are you sure that's for your benefit?

[Glenda58]

At 70 I'm not going to change and she knows it. I just don't dress in front of her she not going to change either at 69. She goes sees her friend on the on the other side of the state of or daughter for the day.

[Tracii G]

Thats what she wants you to think Glenda.
If she is seeing anyone else you will be the last to find out.

[Joni T]

So things have gotten better between us.:)

If things were better between you she wouldn't have to go away for you to dress.
Jon

[Tracii G]

Exactly Joni T

[Cherylgyno]

Good news

[Alice B]

I am not one to think negative thoughts or the worst case. Give her time to slowly adjust and accept and see where that goes.

[Tracii G]

Having to go away so you can do your thing must be like a kick in the gut.

[kimdl93]

Some of these comments reminded me of an expression I heard several times in the waning years of my last relationship: "Its ok, but I don't want to see it".

I know, that's kinda the basis of DADT and I guess it works. In my case, it was no longer seen, when it became apparent that seeing was somehow harmful to her, but simply the knowledge of "its" existence was a wedge that drove itself into the heart of our marriage with the small, repeated blows of some unseen hammer.

[Julie Slowinski]

Hey Glenda,
I think this is a very positive development. It appears to me that she is finally realizing that this is not something that is just going to go away. While she is clearly not comfortable seeing it, she does seem to be giving a signal that if this is something you need to do, then she can give you the space to do it. I suggest you take full advantage of and relish the time she is giving you. In addition, you should make sure she comes home to a small gift (maybe some flowers or an item knocked off of that hunny-do list), just to quietly acknowledge your appreciation.

Despite the earlier comments, I would not be concerned with what she is doing while away - it seems highly doubtful that a 69 year old woman would be doing anything nefarious.

I'm so happy for you...

💋💋💋 Julie

[Nikkilovesdresses]

I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that she is seeing someone else, but feeling she wants to leave home on a regular basis isn't the action of a happily married person. Tread carefully, if you value your marriage.

[andreanna]

My thoughts are she is not really accepting, just letting you do your thing because at your ages it is hard to start again alone.

[alwayshave]

Glenda, I'm glad that you have made some forward motion with your wife. There is nothing wrong with her not being accepting and leaving you alone to play. Its her way of dealing with it.

[Teresa]

Glenda,
It's good to hear things appear to be improving for you.

OK call me an old cynic but I've been there and done this , it lasts such a short time, eventually you don't know where the goal posts are , one step forward and two back is no way to live. When we reach this time of life it has to get easier , OK we may have expected it to die down but the fact is it doesn't , it's too late for us to change , we do need a little slack to live our life as we need to , we don't have a choice .

[Sarah Doepner]

There are two ways she could be dealing with things while she is off for the day or weekend doing her part of the DADT. She could be doing her own thing while knowing she is doing you the favor of not raining on your parade. The other thing could just as easily her spending the time angry and simmering, complaining to who she is with about how wrong it all is and how she wants to show you how she really feels.

At some point you will see how she is spending her time, I hope it's the first.

[CONSUELO]

You stood your ground, so good for you. Whatever the outcome, you have to be clear about who you are and what you want and all credit to you for doing that. Where this all leads is anyone's guess.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Glenda :hugs:, It looks like we are seeing a light at the Tunnel.

A couple years ago I was 70 and my:love:Wife was 69 and she said that she just wished that it would all just Go Away,
the only way that it will go away is if I take it with me when I leave, Well we both knew that that was not an option for
either of us after 50years of marriage.

She knows about everything and nothing is hidden, She just don't want to see me while I am dressed,
I dress for four hours every Morning and a couple hours a couple Evenings a week, It is a workable DA/DT
I know my boundaries and stay with in them and life is fun, I will be 75 on Dec 07 and dressing just keeps getting better.

Lets hope that we don't see a train coming the other way. >Orchid...:daydreaming:...