Mother in law now knows for sure about Allison

[Allison Chaynes]

A couple months ago, we moved in with mother in law after my wife's dad died. I knew there was a chance at least some part of Allison's existence could be discovered, but thought I'd be able to hide it. A month ago, my 11 yr old son woke me up, holding a pair of panties, telling me that Grandma wanted to know if they belonged to one of us (wife or me). I immediately said they were his Mom's, nothing more was said. (MIL was doing laundry, I have no idea how she ended up with them as they were not a style I had worn recently).

Fast forward to today. My wife and I do our own laundry. I put the last load in the dryer and went to bed last night, told MIL that I'd get it out in the morning. She said she was going to bed. I woke up to take kids to school, walk upstairs to the living room, and see that she has pulled our clothes out and FOLDED THEM. Into two stacks... my wife's, and mine... and my panties are in my stack, my wife's in hers.... SEPARATED SO THERE IS NO CONFUSION....

Clearly I am outed. The only thing she said was, "I needed to do a load of laundry so I folded yours last night." I am just waiting to see what my wife is going to say, luckily she is accepting, but her mom is another story. I am wondering if she's known for a while and just ignores it, or what....

[jack-ie]

Could this be her way of signaling acceptance also? Could she have already had a conversation with your wife? Was the statement that "she folded yours last night" just a statement or was it said with an attitude?
What I am saying is that this might not be all that bad.

[CONSUELO]

I suppose she separated them according to size.
Best keep "Mum" and just wait and see what happens.

[Teresa]

Allison,
Is there a chance your wife has had a quiet word with her mother, to save any problems. That makes the most sense to me !

[Allison Chaynes]

Teresa, My wife has not said a word to her. I will talk to her later today and give her a heads up.

Consuelo- you are 100% correct. I am not going to bring it up!

Jack-ie, it was just matter of fact, no attitude or anything. I doubt she will be accepting, as we just had a conversation last night about my sister in law, who married a transwoman. MIL does not know that SIL married a transwoman, she just thinks they're just lesbians and isn't ok with that. I hope no one gets offended, I bring up the differentiation because she will flip out WAY worse if she ever finds out about the T status of her daughter in law.

Maybe I'm wrong and in time she'll soften her views. Who knows?

[TracyUK]

Hi Allison
I have told on here before that I have been a crossdresser ever since the age of about 7, but one time when a teenager
I came home to find my stash had been washed, ironed and neatly folded then returned to my hiding place. I guess my
mother had always known but she never brought the subject up.
Now all these years later as it seems she was accepting of my dressing, I wish she had I would have asked for her advice
and would have loved to have dressed with her.
Hugs
Tracy

[Jaylyn]

Allison I think that every one of us could mess up and get outed at any time I try to be so careful about washing my panties. I try and get the load done and put away before my wife does hers. Not that I'm not outed to her but that she can and will just fold all of them and put them In her drawer. Another reason is we have also had the son stop by and borrow the washer if his wife has a load or two going as they have kids and he likes to get it done, early on so he and his family can go to the movies or the lake. He will sit and visit us then grab his laundry, throw it all in the basket and go back to his house. He would probably think they were his mothers if I left some in the laundry but I'm not going to let that even start.

[Gillian Gigs]

Yes, the MIL knows, the folded and separated gives that one away. It is amazing how people differentiate between what they will accept and what they wouldn't. Just because your wear panties and have a kink/quirk can be okay for one situation, but who knows where the line might get drawn with the SIL situation. If she is folding laundry, what is next, putting them into the closet and dresser. Maybe the conversation needs to happen sometime soon. Who knows how far her acceptance might go.

[Pat]

Maybe she's already dealt with this issue with your late Father-in-law and has built-in acceptance. ;)

[Bobbi46]

no worries there by the sound of things, better to have things out in the open to be secretive or trying to keep ones own side quiet. Anyway it sounds as though the MIL does know and fully accepts. Go with the flow and don't be embarrassed.
it's all good though isn't it?

[Kayliedaskope]

Since she apparently knows, just quietly and politely thank her for taking care of folding your laundry, and see if anything segues from there. If she brings it up, then simply be honest and continue the conversation. If she doesn't, then let it slide. Either way, yes, she knows, and seems to be okay with it - if she's curious, she will ask.


My SO found one of my panties (luckily, one of the white cotton ones at the time) in the wash, and asked if I was wearing women's underwear. I said, yes, I was, and told her the reasons why: more comfort, better fit and materials, plus they didn't have that God-awful stitching in the front that kept rubbing me raw on warmer days. She was okay with it, having worked with the LGBT community in the San Francisco Bay Area, and only asked one more question: "are you a cross dresser?" I said I sometimes wore a short nightgown to bed (we sleep in separate rooms), but never anything like full makeup or wigs. I just liked the way everything felt - you girls get all the nice stuff! She laughed and agreed, and said several of her male friends felt the same way.



Admittedly, things left in the wash or dryer does lead to some amusing conversations.

"Honey, I think these are yours - they're not my size, and I don't wear that shade of pink.. Nice lace, though."

"Oops, sorry ..."






Now, she hasn't noticed the Gloria Vanderbilt jeans yet ..... :)

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Allison :hugs::hugs:, This is going to be an interesting story to follow, We will be waiting for updates...:daydreaming:...

[Allison Chaynes]

Maybe she's already dealt with this issue with your late Father-in-law and has built-in acceptance. ;)

It's funny you mention that. She opened one of his dresser drawers looking for paperwork, and one was full of slips and panties, but all in her size. I asked my wife later if there was something about your dad we should know, but apparently her mom just uses his closet and drawer space when she runs out��

- - - Updated - - -

Blue Orchid- she went out of town for the next ten days so it may be a couple weeks. I just hope that when she buys panties at Christmas for her daughters that I am included, lol.

My wife told me if her mom asks, she'll just say they're hers... thing is, she also separated my Liz Claiborne jeans, so there's that, too. Plus the fact that we aren't close in size or style. I'll own up to it if it comes up, but I may take the easy road and say it's because the vein taken out of my leg for bypass surgery a couple years ago was causing discomfort in my groin, and women's underwear and pants fit better.

[lingerieLiz]

My MIL came to visit. She is not a liberal woman and I haven't always been her favorite SIL. I had washed my wife's and my lingerie. I hung our bras up to dry in the laundry room. Which is by the back door. When they came home from shopping they put stuff in the laundry room. My wife came in and said, you need to grab your bras and put them in the our bathroom because my mother would recognize that those aren't my bras. My wife is slim petite but full busted woman. I'm a 36C many differences from a 32DD.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

I'm with Pat- I think your FIL broke the ice decades ago.

[Jenny22]

Allison, since yours consisted only of panties and jeans, I'm presuming your panties were of a plain nature and color, rather than 'flashy'. It may have been a good thing that you didn't have to wash your bras!

[Stephanie47]

My bet is she knows. Sorts panties and jeans into correct piles? Why do men think women are stupid and cannot figure these things out? She probably figures if her daughter does not care, why should she care? Hope she gives you some panties in your size for Christmas. If not, then check to see if your wife got some extras in a size not her size.

[Richelle423]

Maybe she thought your wife's clothes got mixed up with yours and she folded them anyway.

[Allison Chaynes]

I love the different perspectives and thoughts you ladies bring to the table here. Thank you!

My wife and I discussed it yesterday. She thinks her mom is still clueless but we talked about how we'd handle it if she asks. She plans on pointing out that her sister is a lesbian (as her mom knows) and the world didn't end. We still have about a week before she gets back in town, so we'll worry about it later.

Although, I should add that I'm not worried about it. MIL randomly tells me things that leave me shaking my head wondering WTF ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS FOR? Last week, she started going into detail about her, let's say, lady parts medical business, at random, offered me her late husband's viagra, and then a few weeks ago, went into detail totally at random, about how she prefers Vanity Fair slips because the ones Walmart sells are lower quality. I think the woman has no friends to talk to, and just starts unloading.

[marshalynn]

Allison, I don't know, sounds like she is talking to you about a lot of female things, maybe she does know. Marshalynn

[docrobbysherry]

Allison, you're situations sounds like a textbook example of DADT. Working at it's best.

It seems your MIL knows, but doesn't want to officially know!:heehee:

[o2bcindy]

my mil would do our laundry when she would come for a visit. This always stressed my wife out because I were panties full time and nightgowns to bed. My wife separated my things out but my panties would sneak into the pile:eek:.So we talked about telling her. I finally was ok with it and it took my wife a little longer(like a year latter) but when she said ok I told her! She didn't belive me I had to show her pics and my panted toe nails. lol she was more then ok with it. she told my wife that it just not right he has prettier panties then we do. So that next Christmas she gave me a gift card to Lane Bryant. im very thankfull we told her. Less stress on my wife and I don't have to hide the whole time when she comes over. I enjoyed her visits before we told her but they are even nicer now!

[Allison Chaynes]

Cindy, that's a wonderful outcome, but I don't really have any idea what would happen if we tried the same approach. I would hope strongly for the same result! We are hoping to have a new place before much longer, meaning it would be irrelevant to tell her if that were to happen soon. I'm playing it by ear for now.

[Allison Chaynes]

My wife handed me yesterday's mail and also pointed out that since we've moved, our mail is being forwarded, so I should probably consider having certain catalogs/sales brochures stopped, or put in her name, at least. Another good point for those staying closeted.

[Jenny22]

Allison, your MIL sounds like a kind and loving person. I earlier asked if YOUR panties, when she washed them, were just plain or fancy. If fancy, she knows. They were stacked separately, so the sizes had to be differently. She knows!

Your MIL is elderly. Both of you sit down and talk with her and that she's now got a SIL and another daughter when she may want one. I'll bet she will be very happy to know.

[JenniferMBlack]

If she doesn't know for sure she certainly suspects. I am pretty sure she knows and doesn't want to be the one to bring it up, so she doses and says things as little hints to see if you will day something. My ex mil did the same things when we stayed with her until she saw me wearing a skirt. Even then it was are you wearing a skirt? When I said yes , she said I have known for a whole now.. She didn't care either way just didn't want to be the one to say anything.

[Allison Chaynes]

Jenny, mine were white nylon briefs with lace waist bands. My wife's were cotton hipsters and bikinis.

wbdavid- That is an encouraging experience. My MIL is very conservative, Southern Baptist, and based on how she speaks about her other daughter, I'm not overly optimistic, but now tgat she's widowed, who knows?

[Cherylgyno]

My MiL knows by the grape vine. Wife told her sister and sister told her Mom. I had no idea. While watching TV at MiL's house a commercial for pads pops up. MiL asks if I use pads in my panties. I looked at MiL then my wife, paused and said Yes maam of course. MiL said that was good.
Wife and I chatted about MiL knowing. Wife asked her sister. Sister said that she told her. Wife asked why, sister said why not.

[Michelle_CD]

I had a similar situation many years ago. My wife used to take our laundry over to her mothers to wash. Occasionally she would leave it and MIL would finish it for her. I didn't have a single pair of male undies so MIL probably already knew. But one day she and my wife were folding the clothes and she picked up a pair and asked my wife if they were hers or mine. Wife said they were mine and she folded them and put them in my pile. She did buy me some athletic socks for Christmas one year that were women's but other than that nothing has ever been said.

[jjjjohanne]

There are two reasons I can see why the panties were separated based on what you have said: 1) The sizes were different. If that is the reason, she is possibly on to you, but not guaranteed. 2) The styles were different. In either case, she could be oblivious. People, in my experience, can be amazingly intuitive and can be shockingly oblivious. The oblivious people have said things to me that began with, "Oh, I just thought you..." and never weighed the potential greater meaning of what they observed.

[Sometimes Steffi]

My wife handed me yesterday's mail and also pointed out that since we've moved, our mail is being forwarded, so I should probably consider having certain catalogs/sales brochures stopped, or put in her name, at least. Another good point for those staying closeted.

Sometimes I get my wife something she wants for Christmas or birthday mail order. Then it's my name on the catalog. No big deal, and my wife is DADT.

[Allison Chaynes]

So, tonight, I was in the shower. My wife told me to hurry up, dinner was ready. I asked her to get some clothes out for me to speed things up. I get out of the shower to see she laid out a men's v neck tee, floral print cotton and lace brief, and a black lace crochet-style skirt. I replaced the skirt with Liz Claiborne jeans and headed upstairs, where she gave me the playful "That's not what I laid out" glance. So it's safe to assume at this point she doesn't care what her mom thinks too much. (There are other issues at play there, she spends a lot of time looking for a rental home in our budget).

[Allison Chaynes]

I got my answer tonight. She is totally clueless. She threw some of her underwear in with our whites, and took them out of the dryer. She asked my wife if she knew which ones were hers or my wife's (completely different styles, but MIL wears an 8, wife a 9, me either 11 or 12 usually but I had a pair in size 10 in there also). Neither one of them was sure whose they were so my wife assumed they were MIL's and gave them to her. Some days I wonder what it's like to be "normal."😂