Progress on feminizing my voice

[andreaellen1]

Every couple of months, I start thinking to myself, "I'm getting too old for this." These days, even as I practice my makeup skills and refine my fashion sense, my stubble grows faster, my face looks more mature, my skin gets rougher - I can't fight the sands of time.

One place where I've been particularly unsure of myself is my voice, which I've been practicing on and off for years. When I first started dressing, I'd run away from salespeople in shops, in case I might have to respond to the terrifying question, "Can I help you find anything?" Since then, I've read lots of articles online and watched dozens of videos about voice feminization, but I always worry I sound like Minnie Mouse or a man pretending to be a woman.

I've started practicing by making unimportant calls and answering unknown telephone numbers in my feminine voice. Sometimes that works out awkwardly.

Me (answering the phone femininely): Hello?
Friend: Uhh, hi, uh, Bob?
Me (quickly masculine): Oh, hi Carl! How's it going?
Friend: Huh, your voice sounded all weird there for a minute
Me: Must be a bad connection

Other times, it's disappointing, like when the local theatre called, trying to get me to buy a subscription (I'd bought a single ticket before in my female name).

Me (hopefully femininely): Hello?
Salesperson: Hi, may I speak with ... AN-dre-a?
Me (still femininely): Speaking.
Salesperson: Oh, hello an-DRE-a (as in Andrea Bocelli, a famous male tenor singer), I'm calling from the theatre to tell you about the exciting season ahead of us!
Me (internally): Dang.

Many times, I can't tell how it's going, since the person on the other end avoids using "ma'am" or "sir" altogether. A couple of times, I’ve felt like they were holding back a giggle for the whole conversation.

But today, when I called to book a utilities appointment for me and my wife, everything turned up roses:
Agent: Hello, Utilities Company, Karen speaking. How may I help you?
Me: Hello, I'd like to book an appointment.
Agent: Sure, can I have the name on the account?
Me: Bob and Alice Smith (Pretty ambiguous which one’s me, right?)
(Here, we speak for a few minutes about various trivialities related to the booking)
Agent: Okay, we've got you booked for October 25 at 3PM, for Bob and Alice Smith
Me: Sounds great.
Agent: Excellent. Thank you for calling, Alice. Bye!

Maybe I still have a future in this.

[KimberlyJean]

I have found a couple of female singers that I can sing along with in a higher voice range. This helps me practice using that part of my voice. You are right about it sometimes coming out at the wrong times though.

[Persephone]

Congratulations! That is awesome! Passing oñ the phone is a great accomplishment.
Doesn't always work for me. One of my "tricks" is to begin conversations by introducing myself, "Hi! My name is Barbara and I'd like to ask some questions about the new Vitameatavegamin....."
I also use the same technique that Kimberly does, singing along with the radio.

[Lana Mae]

I am not sure about mine but I talk to myself in the car for practice! I also do the singing thing! I have not answered the phone yet! May have to try that on some of the spam calls I keep getting! Hugs Lana Mae

[Pat]

Coincidentally, I just got a link from a friend on the topic (http://theconversation.com/how-trans-people-can-change-their-voice-to-suit-their-preferred-gender-52863 ) I consistently fail the telephone test. :( But sometimes pull it off in person. :) I took a seminar from a speech therapist in Boston who said that pitch is much less of an issue than dynamics, word choice and pronunciation. Her example was Bea Arthur who had a very low voice but would never be mistaken for a man.

[Ginni]

My normal voice is a little high. When speaking on the phone normally sometimes I am mistaken for female. When dressed, sometimes when answering the phone I use my feminine voice. Once it was a wrong number. It was a guy and we had a great conversation for over an hour. It was fantastic. I wish it would happen again

[Krisi]

Once or twice I tried answering the phone in a feminine voice if I didn't recognize the number but I realized that just because I didn't recognize the number didn't mean it wasn't someone we know (doctor, dentist, etc.). Most of our phone calls we don't recognize are recordings anyway so you're not talking to a human.

If you ever seriously listen to females talking, the difference between a female voice and a male voice is far more than just the pitch. For a start, a female will typically use far more words to convey the same message than a man. She will probably speak faster as well. There are other differences like inflections.

Learning to sound like a female is a serious undertaking. You're not going to get it in a few weeks or even a few months. And if you don't do it full time it will be even harder and take longer.

[Teresa]

Andrea,
I'm sorry but I'm sitting here with a big smile on my face , I've just checked your profile page for your age, talking about aging at 29 , try putting nearly 40 years on that and think about the lines and wrinkles , most of us use Polyfilla after 60 and sandpaper to smooth it down !!

Seriously don't concern too much about the voice, none of the members of my social group change their voice even the TSs , it's not possible to sustain it for more than a few minutes . People will read you as a guy , you are never going to pass so you don't need that pretense by changing the voice , after a few minutes of conversation people just accept it .

I do now have fun with call centres , when they ask for my wife by saying can we speak to Mrs. ..... . I reply yes Mrs .... speaking , it's funny how they go silent and ring off .

[Ressie]

I'm with Teresa. I feel that if I alter my voice to sound feminine, I'm not being myself. I know MTFs that have rather feminine voices but they have the same voice when in male mode. For them it's natural.

The only thing is I have a pretty deep voice so I've experimented with changing the pitch. But I don't want to have to be aware of what my voice sounds like. I'm more comfortable talking as I normally do whether I'm en fem or DRAB. YMMV or course.

[Allisa]

Oh to be 29 again. Voice is just one(a small part to my way of thinking)that differentiates us from cis woman. Mannerisms, smile, deportment are all ways at first sight to relay who we are (or trying to be) that the voice may not even detract from others view of us, speech is such a fickle thing, and we can just carry on as if all is right in the world(which it is when I'm out and about as my femme self). As far as growing older start a habit now to take care of your skin and stick to it, this advice from a wrinkly old prune, oh to be 29 again.

[Jaymees22]

I recorded my voice to hear how I sound to others. I think I sound like Mr. Rogers, so close enough for me.