Coming out at work

[Rachael Leigh]

In the past few months I've come to realize that I am cannot hide who I am anymore.
I started with wearing makeup to work but drab clothing. It was like I wanted people to know this was me. I finally went to my HR department to let them know I was transgender and cover my bases as it
were if there were questions about why I was doing this.


So here we are about two months later and I've told many coworkers that I am indeed transgender and
at some point will be in transition at work and Rachael will be out in full.
It's been amazing the support I've recieved from so many it's been great and given me such confidence.
I'm about to begin counseling and my goal is to work towards HRT.
I never thought I would move in this direction when I came to this forum 4 years ago but it now makes
so much sense and seems to be right. This has been a long journey and new things are ahead for me.
I would appreciate any advice you ladies who have been there can give
Blessings to all Rachael Leigh

[Persephone]

Congratulations! You have taken one of the big steps!
My advice? Make sure to always cut yourself some slack. It is easy for therapists, doctors, employers, and sometimes even folks on this forum to start becoming the driving force. You need to stay in the driver's seat and proceed at your own pace.
Hugs,
Barbara.

[Rachael Leigh]

Thanks much Barbra that's exactly what I keep hearing and it's good advice as I told someone tonight I'm getting to a point
at work I don't like being the androgynous male at work and am really feeling Rachael needs to be here soon.
I know the complete process will be a year or more away but I know it's one I do belive I'm ready for

[grace7777]

Once you start counseling you will need a letter from a therapist to start HRT. For me it took a few months. If you are approved for HRT, then you will need to find a physician to prescribe hormones for you. When you you start HRT, you will then have to decide in what form you want to receive them. Either pills, patches or injections. I started on pills, since at the time there was a nationwide shortage of injectable estrogen. The pills did very little for me. After two months of pills I was able to begin injections. I have been on injections for 9 months now, and have had good results. They are given once every 2 weeks injected in the bottom.

There seems to be no one best method for HRT, you just have to find what works best for you. People have had success using all 3 ways. There is plenty of information out there.

For me, I hope to have SRS in the next 2 years. You may or may not find you want to peruse this. Some find it absolutely necessary, and some do not see any need for it.

It is nice to see that you have gotten good support from your co workers.

Now is a good time to check with you health plan to see what they will cover. Like do they cover HRT, SRS, electrolysis, FFS.

I wish you the best of luck in your journey.

Grace

[Heidi Stevens]

Good luck on your emergence, Rachel. As a lot of the members know the reason why (agreements to keep marriage strong), I have not introduced Heidi to any of my former co-workers or circle of friends. Of course, my being retired means I don't have that major hurdle to face. I can only advise you to grow a thick skin and keep moving forward. It looks like your co-workers and management are accepting of Rachel, try to reassure them that Rachel was there the whole time, they were dealing with her and only your true self has finally decided to show up.

As long as you're changing things, get the Mods to change your name. Good luck!

[Jeri Ann]

Hey Rachael,

It seems weird responding on the open forum after so many pm's. I have known for awhile the direction you were heading. It is a tough road to travel. If you are "the real thing" as my therapist says, the difficulties will not matter. If you are accepted at work that is a huge deal. Hang in there and brace yourself. Doing life authentically is the most amazing thing you have ever experienced.

[Chrissi]

Hi Rachael

Good luck, it sounds like you have a very supportive work environment.
Therapy is a great way to start! Specifically and hopefully with a GT that specializes in trans adults. Guaranteed there will be issues you have not even thought of yet that your therapist will get to. Give it time! Go slowly!

I started the same way you did at work last year. I am a high school teacher. I was already out as gay, and was somewhat effeminate, but last year, I changed the spelling on my name to a gender neutral version of my regular name. I started using Mx instead of Mr. I wore makeup, I wore feminine jewelry including getting my ears pierced a second time. I typically had my nails done, and usually every 2-3 weeks would change colors. And would wear androgynous styles of clothing, often mixing in a blouse or female pants. I carried a pocket book, and wore female outer clothing (jackets, hats, scarves)
Some days I was more femme some days not so much. It would ebb and flow. I was purposefully trying to soften the real coming out.

I was out to quite a few staff. And was already living full time outside of school. Those I wasn’t “out” to yet would question my close colleagues about what was going on with me....lol. Some of my students privately asked me about preferred pronouns last year, not being satisfied with they/them...lol

So the month before school this year, I sent a letter to my Principal and Superintenent that Mr/Mx was not returning and that I hope they would welcome Ms in their place, with my obvious female name.

Later that day the superintendent (a woman) gave me a huge hug and thanked me with “that sure clears up the confusion!”

Next hurdle is going blonde...lol...which is coming up

Again, take it slowly, don’t do anything that would jeopardize your job or yourself.
Best wishes,
Cristine

[Rachael Leigh]

Just an update, I'm now 4 weeks into Rachael being out in full at work the response has been mostly positive.
From reading others I guess I'm ahead of many who chose to get on HRT before doing this part but I felt I was ready and am very glad I did. It takes longer to get ready now lol, but I love it.
I've still got a ways to go as I move toward the more real me but I'm looking ahead and not behind or hiding me anymore
Blessings Rachael

[Charla]

Good to hear all is going well. It’s encouraging for the rest of us!

[LeaP]

Best of luck, but watch your back! I came out at my last job ... and my position was eliminated within the year.

[AmyGaleRT]

For me, it's now been five months. My coworkers have all been extremely accepting, from the CEO on down. (I even had the opportunity a few weeks ago to see the CEO in person when he made a visit to Denver, and thank him for his support.) And my performance has improved; I've received two employee recognition awards as Amy through our online appreciation hub, the first ones I've received in over a year.

I am happier than I've been in a long time!

I put the E-mail message I used to come out at work in this thread (https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?200698-Coming-Out-Letters-or-Emails-no-discussions-please).

- Amy

[VanTG]

Good for you Rachael, and I totally know the feeling. May I ask a couple of questions? What type of role are you working at the company. I see you are in Dallas and although a bigger city it is still one of those States that isnt as progressive as others? The reason i ask is, I just told my manager that I am Trans and I am in a sales role in central Alberta. IF you are not aware this is a very religious part of the country and although 100,000 people in the community, its still a very taboo topic in some places. It is getting better but, still has a long way to go and probably will take years to advance to an acceptable state.