tips and advice

[yvette]

I am at the beginning of accepting that I have female feelings. I ignored these feelings way to long. Do you girls have any tips and advice to give space to my feminine feelings? Many emotions are going through my mind at this moment. I don't want to deny my feelings anymore but are very scared and stressed to change.

[Teresa]

Yvette,
What are you scared of , admitting you have these feelings or revealing them to other people ?

You don't actually say if you dress or not , so I'm assuming you do . Sorry I've just rechecked your profile page and I can see you do dress .

Next question , how do the female feelings manifest themselves , happily in the closet or desperate to be out and about ?

If you were free to develop these feelings how would you like to present yourself ?

Sorry about all the questions but you don't give much away . I'm like most and realise we are born this way, it's taken me far too long to come to terms with all this , the forum has helped me a great deal so don't feel too ashamed of worried to reveal more details , this is basically a help forum .

[Sarah Doepner]

I was close to your age when I finally accepted I was somewhere in the Trans Spectrum and even at that point it took quite a while for it to sink in. Life is all about change and I'm still working on it.

My tip is be patient with yourself as you explore this expanded world. There will be fear and uncertainty and denial that may seem to overcome you at times. Let those feelings wash over you and go away before you make any decisions. The same goes with the feelings of being free and totally accepting your feminine side that may come with the "pink fog". Let those go away before you announce to the world or spend the family fortune on something girly.

There are no deadlines for you to meet. There are no activities you must complete. There is no guarantee that you will be accepted by others, but you may influence them but in the end you can't control how they feel. There is no test at the end other than being able to say you are comfortable knowing who you are without shame.

Find someone to talk to as you explore your world. It can be a dialogue here or with a counselor or a very trusted person in your life. Listen to the questions they ask and don't be ashamed to be honest or to be unsure of the answer. You may not have the answer to everything that is asked at first or even later. Finding support that is honest and respectful is a great boon to your self-exploration.

[Bobbi46]

No one should feel scared or stressed about the journey which you are embarking on, its a wonderful thing to explore but don't rush yourself take your time and keep asking. We are all here to help you and you should not feel worried about what you say becoming public or in the media this forum is like Fort Knox, ask as much as you like from that you will learn and find all the answers you need to the questions you no doubt have bubbling away.

[sometimes_miss]

They're not 'female' feelings. They're YOUR feelings. Don't be afraid. Embrace who you are. It's all good.

[docrobbysherry]

Don't fear your feelings. Explore them. There won't be a problem until they motivate u to try things that may get u into trouble!:heehee:

[Sometimes Steffi]

Yvette

You are doing great if you're accepting your femininity.

It took almost 3 years of therapy for me to accept my femininity.

Look at my signature.

[Fiona123]

Beginning to accept yourself takes courage & effort. You are doing fine. Tips? Dressing of course (In private is ok). There are a couple of books I can recommend: The New Gender Workbook by Kate Borenstein & Whipping Girl by Julia Serrano. Get some exercise to help with the stress . Talk to someone (gender therapist). Please take care of yourself.

[Stacy Darling]

The natural flow of release!

Letting go is the pass!

"We Must be ready though"

Stacy!

[Jenny22]

Yvette, welcome to this fantastic forum. You've found a home, here, and a family willing to help you find your way in your feminine life.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

The feminine part of you got suppressed when you were very young, so you're experiencing its emergence now in a similar way to how you experienced things as an adolescent: perhaps feeling completely overwhelmed and tongue-tied in the presence of a pretty girl, or confused and embarrassed by a wet dream.

Allowing those repressed feelings out isn't about becoming someone different, it's about becoming a whole person. Whole = wholesome.

We all understand how what you're going through can feel very unsettling. Don't be afraid, you'll move through this phase very quickly. I look forward to reading a thread by you quite soon entitled something like 'OMG I'm in total Pink Fog'.

[Jaylyn]

Yvette read all the posts they have hit it all right spot on. Slowly advance, accept what you like or want to become. Every one of us are at different stages and some advance farther than others. You have to find what degree you want to dig into those inner feelings you have. Remember you can get lots of advice on here, most of it is from experiences that the poster has already been thru or lived it. Read the old post, ask questions, enjoy the site and know that we are all different but all the same in some respects. If you want to advance what feelings you have inside then I would say take it slow and enjoy the ride till you feel fulfilled no matter where your journey takes you. Lose the stress and don't be scared but do find yourself.

[yvette]

I want to thank everyone for the positive feedback. It helps me a lot and remembers me on the fact that I am not alone. For me the best way to start is taking baby steps. This week I ordered some clothes online and received them yesterday. When I opened the box I felt happiness and relieve. For the first time I slept in a woman's pyjama. So the first step has been set.
I realize that its only me that can answer the questions about who I am and what I want. That said it is nice to know that, on this forum, I found supportive friends who will listen, comfort me and give advice and feedback. I know that there is woman in me and I want to be that woman. Again thank you girls.

- - - Updated - - -

Thank you for you're comment Sarah. I sent you a quick note on Facebook

- - - Updated - - -

Thank you for you're comment Sarah. I sent you a quick note on Facebook

[IleneD]

Yvette,
Bless you, girl.
This is never easy. I dare say there's nary a soul on this board who hasn't gone through the pain of acceptance, especially SELF Acceptance.
It took me forever to admit to myself who and what I was.

PLEASE DON't TORTURE YOURSELF. It is terribly destructive. For most of my life, almost 5 decades, I was in serious denial of my inner woman and my femme side. I was confused about what was going on inside me. The culture and my professional life absolutely would not tolerate CD, TG or being "gay" for most of my life. Like many "queer men" I was forced to be ashamed and hide. Again, .... very personally damaging to the soul.
I wish I could have come to grips with my dysphoria. I wish I could have understood it much better and put my mixed hybrid male/female soul into perspective.

YOU, Yvette, are in the correct and best place; this forum. You have youth apparently on your side as you're just beginning to explore and have these feelings.
Be not ashamed. Be you. It's OK to be you. Don't abuse yourself over your feelings or how you dress your personality. You are beautiful.

[yvette]

Thank you for you're kind words Ilene. I also denied these feelings for over 40 years, as aim 52 years old right now.

Yvette,
Bless you, girl.
This is never easy. I dare say there's nary a soul on this board who hasn't gone through the pain of acceptance, especially SELF Acceptance.
It took me forever to admit to myself who and what I was.

PLEASE DON't TORTURE YOURSELF. It is terribly destructive. For most of my life, almost 5 decades, I was in serious denial of my inner woman and my femme side. I was confused about what was going on inside me. The culture and my professional life absolutely would not tolerate CD, TG or being "gay" for most of my life. Like many "queer men" I was forced to be ashamed and hide. Again, .... very personally damaging to the soul.
I wish I could have come to grips with my dysphoria. I wish I could have understood it much better and put my mixed hybrid male/female soul into perspective.

YOU, Yvette, are in the correct and best place; this forum. You have youth apparently on your side as you're just beginning to explore and have these feelings.
Be not ashamed. Be you. It's OK to be you. Don't abuse yourself over your feelings or how you dress your personality. You are beautiful.[/QUOTE]