who defines MY sexuality.... always a title fight ???

[mykell]

so i started this to discuss who has the right to deny how one defines theyre sexuality....now its spurred by several active threads that i did not want to hijack .....

one TG vs CD https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?252795-Transgender-vs-Crossdresser
which turned into a real title fight. instead of the OP thoughts.

the other which someones infidelity has spurred some questions .https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?252881-Recently-found-out-my-husband-crossdresses-amp-Need-advice

another what really makes us tick https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?252673-What-really-makes-us-tick

lots to read, lots of pre-concieved perspectives also.....i digress

MY question is who decides our sexuality.....this is a reply to one of the OPs from myself....


hi i read this the other day but did not reply for i felt it needed more time to answer it.

you have shared so much personal trials and tribulations of you marriage, your family, your "self"......more than i ever wish to dish out in such a public venue, when one on one conversations it is different.

true story, i spoke at a trans day of remembrance ceremony last year for the club i now volunteer for, met one of the other volunteers there for the first time when i arrived, male.... went to my adopted location of the club and flipped my gender, came out to the front and this volunteer began to re-introduce them-self to me....fun, the ceremony went better than i expected and it seemed to show some of the membership how authentic i was, seemed to get a feather in my cap that day :)

so when they introduced themself to me they shared the times of the week they volunteer, i found myself working in the area and wanted to stop by and visit, made arraignments in my schedule and proceeded to stop by and say hi.

when i walked in she proceeded to introduce herself to me and ask me how i found out about the club ect.....i exclaimed to her you dont remember me :straightface:....she said noooo.....i told her we have met before.....she said nooooo, i then told her i was the women who spoke at the remembrance ceremony, she scoffed and said you did, i exclaimed yes, she was speechless for a moment :eek:

well she IS a lesbian and we have befriended each other and have become quite close since, dare i say after my wife i believe she would qualify as my best friend.
we talk quite in depth and she calls me a lesbian and introduces me to other lesbian club members as such......now i find it interesting and fun but it is not something i would go about and do, never has she ever said i was a male lesbian though....she says im a girl:o....this struck a cord for me as many here describe being a women as a lived existence and i believe i get that. now for ME this works.....for you it may not, so what really makes US tick is apparently as varied as everything, just be you and keep on keeping on, stick to your planned future and keep on smiling http://www.tamaracroft.co.uk/Smilies/Big%20grin.gif it seems to be what makes you tick....

now i have seen this friend and our conversation revolved about it, i copied my reply to show her.

she said i got a few things wrong, she stated that i cant flip my gender im a girl....i love my wife, therefor i sleep with women, you are a lesbian.
i thought it a cute thing between the two of us before this. who decides this, me ? my lesbian friend ? someone who does not know me ?

now on many occasions we have the when dressed i have sex with men, others will call them out as gay, who decides ? some will only pursue it if its only with trans folks and while they are presenting as women ???? who decides

so who decides what we are cis folks....dont really trust them these days....my normal and they're normal are two different entities.

variety is the spice of life....who am i to judge.....

[Kayliedaskope]

The person that defines who you are is you. You are the original source, the author of your own story. Whether you are CD, TG, TS, genderqueer, MIAD, or male lesbian (still trying to wrap my head around that one), in the end, labels don't matter. You are you, period, end of story. If you are happy with the way you are, then why try to fit yourself in one of the boxes that seem to pervade our society? Not just in our world of cross dressing, but the rest of the world, too.

You are you, and you are happy being you. What else is needed?

[Teresa]

Mykell,
Maybe I should reply as you refer my thread and replies.

As you can see from my other thread, " So who's getting it wrong ?" Labels are used and misused , as I've just replied to Pat , maybe I should let it all go and just be me ! I'll define myself.

We go through various stages on the form over time, maybe we do come to a point where we more or less find ourselves and dispute the difference over minor and irrelevant points. At the end of the day we are all unique, our circumstances are different so all we can do is give advice and guidance from our own perspective.

So who does decide ? well most of us know ourselves well enough to make our own decisions , we only pose a question to back that decision up only to find someone wants to dispute it because they don't feel as you do ,acceptance is one of the biggest hurdles starting with ourselves !

[sometimes_miss]

who decides our sexuality.
Depends on the time and place. If your'e in therapy looking for SRS, your therapist decides.

If you're married, your wife decides.

If you're alone in the dark at 3 a.m. on a friday night, reading crossdressers.com, YOU decide.

Hows that?

[Kayliedaskope]

:iagree:

Aaaaaaaaannnnnndddd Lexi wins the internet for the day!

The crowd goes wild !!!

[insert sound of stadium applause here]

:p

[Micki_Finn]

I’m not sure the thrust of your post, but it seems to muddle sexuality with gender. They are two separate things.

[Tracii G]

Another horse has to die I suppose.

[Pat]

Wow. I really didn't want to have to introduce myself as a new moderator this way, but here's my view: the three threads referenced in the OP are each pertaining to crossdressers which is in the purview of this forum. To the extent sexual orientation is addressed in them it's incidental to the thread. This thread is specifically about sexual orientation which is not about crossdressing. So I've closed the thread, sorry.