Rough Week and Creeping Fem

[sarah_hillcrest]

I hope its OK these kind of personal blog style posts here, just feels good to write.

Really bad news this week for wife and I. Won't go into detail, will just say that a time consuming, expensive and painful procedure that we hoped would bring some fulfillment to our lives did not work. It's probably the only chance we'll get. We are both gutted but coping.

In lighter news regarding my ongoing mild case of the genders I struggled recently with purchasing a watch. I must have a watch to function. My trusty, but ugly Ironman died. Wanting something different and more fem I bought a stylish vintage Swatch from ebay but can't stand it, in the picture it was easy to read, but in real life the hands blend into the dial. Needing a watch now I went to Wal-Mart and found a ton of watches all on clearance. I fell in love with this cute little Timex watch that was purple with little yellow flowers on it's skinny little band. This has been happening to me more and more lately. I find that fem desires are creeping into my everyday life and I'm finding it frustrating. I would never have considered this watch in the past, but now I couldn't consider anything but it. I almost bought it but realized that it wouldn't fit and that it was way too girlish to wear. I settled on a similar Unisex watch, much smaller then my old Ironman with a very gender neutral green blue color scheme. I'm on the lookout for a vintage moon phase watch, I always wanted one.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Get the watch you want and tell people your daughter gave it to you for your birthday. People believe stuff like that. Mostly.

[Stacy Darling]

After a long week I'll go to the lighter side!
My watch is well there is a picture! It's a men's but it is quite neutral , to me it's femme!
I'd recommend a Uni or a femme male watch!
Stacy!
282687

[sarah_hillcrest]

Get the watch you want and tell people your daughter gave it to you for your birthday. People believe stuff like that. Mostly.

Thanks for the advice but the sad part of my post makes this advice pretty much unworkable sadly. No daughters, no sons.

Stacy, that's my favorite kind of watch, especially in the past. I've always been a fan of autowinding Seikos, Citizens, and Orients. I used to have several nice watches but ebayed them when I got laid off several years ago, plus I tended to over compensate and go for the biggest manliest watches I could find like stupid Invictas with locking crowns and stuff like that. This is the kind of watch I've always wanted.

[donnalee]

It's very difficult to find a legible watch these days; black hands on a white face. I bought a Longines a while back that's my favorite; very thin and elegant.

[Pat]

Really bad news this week for wife and I. Won't go into detail, will just say that a time consuming, expensive and painful procedure that we hoped would bring some fulfillment to our lives did not work. It's probably the only chance we'll get. We are both gutted but coping.

So very sorry for the both of you.


In lighter news regarding my ongoing mild case of the genders [...]

I do admire the turn of phrase :) I foolishly got one of those bands that monitor your exercise and sleep and it has a time display on it. It's fugly, but I can't bring myself to wear two timekeeping devices on my wrists so I've been foregoing a watch since I got it. Before I got it, though, I used to have experiences like yours. I have big wrists so your typical women's watch won't fit me and would probably look lost. But I wanted one anyway.


This has been happening to me more and more lately. I find that fem desires are creeping into my everyday life and I'm finding it frustrating.

The most common piece of advice I find myself giving transgender people is "forgive yourself." Allow yourself to feel what you feel. Over time you'll move from foregiveness to acceptance ("hey, that's just how I am") and you can leave a lot of frustration and anxiety behind. ;)

[Lana Mae]

Sorry to hear you had really bad news but glad that you are able to cope with it! I bought a woman's watch but after wearing a short time the band gets to be too tight! I will have to look for a more neutral watch! Best wishes Hugs Lana Mae

[Meghan4now]

Hey Sarah,

Sorry to hear about the dissapointing news. Maybe there is another Avenue that you are supposed to go down. If I am reading between the lines, there are still 50000 US kids up for adoption a year and about 500000 needing foster care on any given day. A good number of transgender kids are out on the street because they have been rejected at home. Something to think about.

About the watch, nice to find a gender neutral one. I wear a fit bit Alta. Not as technically advanced as my older HR charge that I killed during a home plumbing emergency, BUT you can change the wrist bands to match your outfit. So basic black in stud mode, and some outfits, and something prettier or flasher when Meghan is out on the nines.

[Alice B]

I have two watches.My daytime watch is a Rolex.My Alice watch is a very female timex. Alice never goes out without it. A watch is a must have item when dressing

[OCCarly]

My favorite femme watch is by Stuhrling, one of the few makers that makes women's watches with bands long enough for a girl with a big wrist. I also have a teal colored unisex watch by Simplify but that one may go bye bye soon because of a lack of accuracy (it lost 20 minutes over the last three months).

I also have a nice little dress watch by Anne Klein that fit my wrist right off the store shelf. But my ambition is to get a Citizen women's chronograph for dress use.

[sarah_hillcrest]

Thanks for the sympathy, in regards to adoption, its something we have considered but never seriously for several reasons.

My wife has started using a Garmin vivofit and loves it especially since it helps to find her phone she's constantly misplacing.

Watches are fascinating to me how they denote social status and character. I'm at a particular socio economic status where the most I could spend on a watch is around 150 dollars, though I would prefer to have two nice watches at 75. An elegant Longines watch is probably around 10X that. It's quite obvious for me to spot the differences between a 20 dollar watch, 200 dollar watch and 2000 dollar watch, but everyone of these items will tell time just as well.

I think what bothered me about the watch is how I've always managed to keep TG stuff very compartmentalized. It wasn't until this summer that I finally just let loose and told my wife that in many ways I felt more female then male. It didn't take long that I noticed that I was losing the ability to keep it carefully compartmentalized out of mind. Like there's me and now there's Sarah, but is Sarah really me? One benefit is that I've noticed I take my appearance far more seriously. For the first time in my 38 years I've bought some stuff to put in my hair and keep it well kempt. With my wife's help I've been taking far better care of my face. She seems to get a huge kick out of putting stuff on my face LOL.

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My favorite femme watch is by Stuhrling, one of the few makers that makes women's watches with bands long enough for a girl with a big wrist. I also have a teal colored unisex watch by Simplify but that one may go bye bye soon because of a lack of accuracy (it lost 20 minutes over the last three months).

I also have a nice little dress watch by Anne Klein that fit my wrist right off the store shelf. But my ambition is to get a Citizen women's chronograph for dress use.

For Christmas a couple years ago I purchased my wife a Stuhrling for the exact same reason you said. It's very fem but big enough for her. Its Stainless and its face is a subtle pink. I had owned one Stuhrling back in my watch collecting days, a skeleton watch. It looked really nice but wasn't very durable, the band eventually broke and it fell off going down the road on my bike and was broke. After a year the face on her pink Stuhrling started spinning around.

[sometimes_miss]

Get the watch you want and tell people your daughter gave it to you for your birthday. People believe stuff like that. Mostly.

I occasionally go out without taking off my nail polish. I've gotten a few comments, I just tell them my granddaughter is practicing to be a manicurist to make some money. People know that most will indulge their grandchildren all kinds of things.

[sarah_hillcrest]

The Continuing Adventures...

On Wednesday night my wife was making an order from Ulta with her 100 dollars of points. She wanted me to help her pick out some stuff, after about 20 minutes of her showing me stuff it became apparent that the most I could expect to get was a face mask or moisturizer. I'd been feeling kind of frustrated about things all week and just felt annoyed so I excused myself and went to lay on the bed and pout. This kind of emotional behavior is not normal for me, but I've been experiencing it more lately.

Wife came in after a few moments and asked if I was mad, and if I wanted to stuff from Ulta. I was just pouty and whiny and she got angry at my attitude. "You know I found your wardrobe downstairs the other day, what the hell, you've got way more dresses then me, where are you getting all those?" she asked. I've been hanging all my girl clothes in the basement where we keep our coats and jackets and excess clothes instead of hiding them, I knew she would find them eventually.

"I just buy them from thrift stores and stuff," I answered.

"How do you buy dresses, I mean are you embarrassed to walk up to a cashier with a dress?" she asked.

"Yeah, but it doesn't seem to be a big deal, I mean it's just a dress," I answered.

"You know I'm really trying, I'm really going out on a limb. I'm the one who get emotional and pouts on the bed." she says. She got annoyed and wanted to sleep on the couch but I talked to her for 30 minutes and ended we up entwined together.

On the way home today I stopped at a thrift store and found a dress that I liked. I went up and handed it to the cashier who I've seen there before last time I bought some clothes. He was real friendly and said, "Hey this is suppose to be 5 dollars but I'm just going to accidently put this in as PJs instead of a dress so it'll be 2 bucks."

Not only is it easy to buy a dress but I got a sweet discount too. LOL

[Jaymees22]

What do I know I usually just wear a Seiko watch seems to work for a man or a woman. I had a few bargain ladies watches but got rid of them in a partial purge.

My ex and I have 4 kids,2 of which are adopted. I'm actually closer with the adopted girls then with my sons. They first came to us as foster children then we adopted them a few years later. They were 3 and 5 when they came to live with us and had been in foster care with another family for a year before that. They are now in their 40s.

[sarah_hillcrest]

Yeah foster care like that could be great, but I feel like the more likely scenario is that we would bond closely with some children only to see them disappear. You never know I guess.