A photograph shows how far acceptance is going

[Bobbi46]

Although I am almost 24/7 dressed, there are still odd days each week in which I have to be in drab, coupled with the fact of finding out and realising that my previous wig did nothing but attract to me, and now with my new wig my avatar was the first step to being able to go out properly. My Saturday morning coffee with all the ex pats for example is just one occasion of having to be in drab. Well last week having messed up my shopping again I went back to my usual shopping mall and forgot I still had my nail polish on and one of the cashiers who was away from her till came up to me and in broken English asked what's with the nail polish, she was being polite and smiling and not condescending at all and I laughingly said oh that's my little secret. She is a very intelligent woman and I could tell by her expression she was thinking ok tell me the rest which did not happen just then. But today I went back there and took with me a larger version of my avatar. Celine was this time at the enquiry desk and when it to was my turn I took her to one side and showed her my photo. Her words echo in my ears even now for this is what she said "this is not you?" I replied "yes it is" and she said "No it is not" and once again I said to her "yes that is me really". She paused stunned for a moment looking at my photo looked at me with a lovely smile and said "You are very beautiful" I told her thank you and as people were gathering at the desk we were unable to talk further but after the previous incident I am sure she has told her other close colleagues about me but up to now had not seen any photos. Now of course she has seen the real me and when I was going through a check out which had one of her friends at the till this one, Magalie she is called was so I felt more welcoming than normal and it all felt so nice. As I was leaving the shop I looked across to the enquiry desk and Celine gave me such a lovely smile and a little wave that it made me feel that she had accepted me both as I was and as I am dressed, the feeling of all of this almost made me skip and jump my way out of the supermarket.
I have now paved the way to be able to go in there en femme as Bobbi and be liked by all (by all my girls as I refer to them) of all of them.
I feel as though I have achieved a big leap forward for us all in that showing a photo of me nicely dressed to blend I think a big leap in acceptance has been forged right now.
I am celebrating this most moving moment with a glass of red wine.

[Teresa]

Bobbi,
I'm so glad you've posted this because I know exactly how it feels . Pictures serve a very useful purpose , we need these moments of acceptance to keep moving forward .
How nice she reacted like that your wig choice was obviously a good one .

I was caught out with with teal coloured nail varnish when I went for a swim in drab , it did get a few comments.

So now you are prepared for two CDing visitors !

[Dana44]

Nice Bobbi, Hope it works out for you. Nice way to let people know.

[Bobbi46]

Teresa,
More than ready, we wil paint the region red starting with my hamlet !.
Today out of all the times I have been out with me, today showing this photo, has paved the way for me to be me more than ever before. Celine and Magalie were so lovely. My next task is Mari-Laure in the patisserie and my brasserie when that is done (showing my photo first) the whole of my town will be a playground for me.
And for you and Carole as well.

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Dana, Thank you, today apart from being very nice showed to me what a different world we are now in with more and more acceptance appearing all over the place.

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There will be more to this story after my ex pat coffee morning in town tomorrow

[Micki_Finn]

That’s great for you but please don’t get too attached to your local store clerks. They are wonderful to be so polite to you, but honestly, they probably don’t care. As long as you keep spending money, they keep getting pay checks, and get to go home at the end of the day, you could tell them you’re an alien from Jupiter here to steal all the worlds Little Debbie cakes and they’d probably still smile and be polite.

[Bobbi46]

Micki,
The difference here is that I have known them all for several years now so it is a matter of being more friends than just me a passing customer. I have noticed that there is subtle difference between being just a regular customer and being just that little bit more which is where I am.

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I am not "attached to my store clerks" as you put it. I live on my own here and getting to know someone just that little bit more is a very important part of my existence here I am on first name terms with them as they are with me and there is that subtle repartee which we have, making jokes and such like. Over here in rural France customer relations take on a different meaning after a while. This is not a bristling metropolis with people having no time for each other. It is a way of life like no other.

[Rachael Leigh]

I think as we go out more often and we don’t make a scene as it were but just be ourselves acceptance is becoming more
common.
Good for you Bobbi
Rachael

[Bobbi46]

Rachael,
Thank you so much for you words, certainly acceptance here seems to me to be higher than I thought it would be, comforting by the same token.

[Trione]

Bobbi,
I am happy for you, That would be my finest hour too be able to go out in public, but in the land of redneck and uptight people it not going to happen unless I get a week away in the only city that I could be open in in this part of the world and that's a two or three hour drive.

[Helen_Highwater]

That’s great for you but please don’t get too attached to your local store clerks. They are wonderful to be so polite to you, but honestly, they probably don’t care. As long as you keep spending money, they keep getting pay checks,

Micki,

I don't want to cause offence but I suspect there's cultural differences at play here. Rural France has it's own culture which will be utterly different from that found in the US. The French, well they just don't care but that has absolutely nothing to do with someone spending money. Their attitudes to sexuality and relationships are so very different. They have more important things to worry about.

Bobbi,
You've broken the ice. I would suggest showing them more pictures and then asking if they would like to meet you're other persona. My guess is they'll be more than agreeable. Who knows, you may have even widened your social circle. So pleased things are getting ever better for you.

[Bobbi46]

Helen,
Thank you your suggestion is a solid one and one which I intend to take on board, Your reference to sexuality and relations is very right over here attitudes are totally different to anywhere else I have lived, (Germany, Egypt, New Zealand, Australia) here things like that are more liberal. and over here when you get to know someone a sort of affinity is built and before you know it you find yourself being kissed on both cheeks.
I think what happened today will get better as time goes by. All of my hamlet have seen me dressed now and nobody bats an eyelid or treats me any different.
The more people that know round her the better my life seems to be for it.

[Cherylgyno]

About 10 years ago my wife gave my mom an 8 x 10 of me in a LBD. My mom put this photo on top of her desk at the senior home where she lived. I saw it there many times over a few years, never thought a thing about who might see it.
One day I stopped at the home during brunch. Mom was at a table with 5 other women, all in their 80's. One lady all of a suddenly pipes up. You're Jeans son. I said yes. She said that picture on your mom's desk is you. I paused. She asked my mom and Mom told her that I am her only son so the photo had to be of me. All of a sudden all of the ladies started raving about how pretty I looked in the photo. The ladies were dishing out compliments faster than I could say thank you to each one. When this calmed down the lady to my left asked if I wore ladies underwear all the time. I said yes. A lady to my other side got my attention while the lady to my left ran her hand up my leg feeling my hose. The conversation took off again. I proved to myself that I am truly a male as my ears couldn't flap as fast as the ladies lips flipped. The ladies noticed how lost I was and to sum it up a few of them said that they wished that their sons were more like me. I was puzzled why these 80 & 90 something ladies wanted their sons to be more like me. I visited my mom every day. I was always helping out in one way or another. One lady even added that she wished that she had met me or another cross dresser years earlier. I learned a lot that day.
There is a lot more but I think that I better close this.

[Tracii G]

Yep you broke the ice so just be your same self and things should work out just fine.
I did pretty much the same thing at a small Mom and Pop sandwich shop/ deli close to my house.
Same kind of reaction and they are still friends to this day and it does not matter if I am in 50/50 mode or 100% girl mode.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Micki, I honestly think you're wrong. French people don't need you to like them, and they certainly don't hand out compliments unless they mean them. The downside of this can be a brusqueness, especially to non-French speakers, but if you make an effort - as Bobbi clearly does - they will respond with sincerity. No way these girls were bullshitting, they wouldn't bother.

[Bobbi46]

Nikki,
It sounds as though you have visited/lived in France, Yes at first and on the face of things one could think Oh what a bunch of miserable so and so's giving as you say the impression of being brusque but to an extent they are a serious nation but as you get to know them the layers peel away and as you say you then have sincerity and when it comes to being friends with neighbours and you become close if you go to somebody else for help they get all huffy and put out but not for long!.
Yesterday was emotive time for me as I have known Celine for nearly 5 years now and if she did not mean what she said she would not have said it.
The position I now have with the check women at this shop is a big step further on from just good morning , thank you and on my way it has become more personal and genuine and when you find this genuineness here you have friend for life. I will show my photo slowly over time as I see the ones I know and with Celine I will ask her if she would like to see Bobbi in true life.

[ellbee]

Not to pick on you, Micki... And I do understand where you're coming from, as what you described can oftentimes happen, as well.

However...

When "coming out" via photos in the past, I have had more or less the same reaction from 2 GG-friends, in particular, who stand out in my mind -- and both of whom are known by all for their no-BS, straight-shooting personalities.

Disbelief at first (probably since my former en-femme self was pretty unrecognizable from my guy-self)... Then something along the lines of: "Holy crap, you're *hot*!"


And yeah, they will subsequently begin to act a bit differently towards you from that point on -- in a warmer, closer, more positive way, I mean.

There are definitely some GG's out there who are the "real-deal" when it comes to this stuff. :thumbsup:

[Bobbi46]

Laura,
You are nailing like so many with their replies here yes I have with a new aspect in my life on my journey to be out to all of my close friends and those that I know reasonably well, having been received with such genuine sincerity by Celine meant a lot to me but also illustrated only too well the amazing acceptance of our community as a whole. This can only get better.

[Teresa]

Hi, Bobbi,
To see a different angle on using pictures maybe look back at my thread tilted , " Blimey is that you girlfriend ? "

[Bobbi46]

Thank you Teresa,
I found it and very heart warming it was the level of the acceptance that you got from it that was exceptional

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A couple of days ago I emailed my avatar to my nephew who knows all about me and got whole bucket load of praise back from him about my appearance and that my new wig was so much better than the last one.
it was truly heart warming to read what he said to me.