New to this site and need opinions and thoughts

[Emmmily]

I mainly only wear women’s underwear when I crossdress, but every time I go to buy them anymore I get nervous or don’t end up buying them. I want to wear them still but can’t seem to ever go through with the sale anymore..

[Oria]

Amazon is a good place to get that sort of thing with out much stress. You can also go to any major retailers website.

[Ronnica]

I always look in the store then go online for the purchase. I am too nervous also.

[Alberta_Pat]

It would be a rare situation where a salesperson/cashier questions your purchase of underwear.

Many men make this purchase for their ladies. Brave face, and carry on.

[Tracii G]

Fine a place with a self check out.
We have all been in the same place you are and we have gotten over the fear as will you eventually.
You know a REAL man would have no problem buying panties for his wife without giving a thought to what someone else thinks so buying panties is a manly act is it not?

The cashier doesn't care who they are for and probably isn't paying attention as the scan the product.
When you think about it the only one with the problem about buying panties is you.

[Bobbi46]

Say to yourself tomorrow I am going to do it, the world as we know it now is so liberal in that respect the sa's are not bothered either way who buys what and why most of the time they do not have the time to chat and it would not do for one of them to say are these for you?
You will be fine, be bold and just go for it, after your first purchase you will wonder what all the worry was for. We have all gone through that moment at some time.

[Lisa Roberts]

Absolutely! Go for it. I used to be all kinds of nervous when I went shopping. Not anymore! I stroll the lingerie and underwear department like I own it. A couple weeks ago I did have an older lady scowl at me as I was looking at a bra. I just held it up to my front and smiled, winked and walked away. I do still get a little nervous trying on dresses in a major store. I was once told by a wise person "if you are afraid to do something - just go ahead and do it afraid"! It really does get easier.
Lace and Smiles,
Lisa

[Dana44]

I would say go do it and feel confidant. The SA's are much better now.

[Micki_Finn]

Buy online. Amazon sells EVERYthing.

[Bobbi46]

Buying on line is all very nice but if one is new to things like I think Emmmily is then buying online all the time is not the answer to gaining confidence after all how many times has online buying gone belly up?, you cannot actual beat shopping and taking small steps is the start of a wonderful journey towards full confidence.

[~Joanne~]

Wait until you need to go shopping for a bunch of things and just throw them in the basket. If you have a lot then they will be scanning them quickly and might not notice but won't care the same. When I first started, by myself, I use to buy my drab stuff, a few of "her" things, cat food, dog food, and Me food. There was such a mix there was no way the SA was mentioning any one thing, if she did I would have said "You want to talk about the dog food next? I don't know much about that either" lol

[Emmmily]

Thanks everyone, I still live at home though and if I buy online I’m afraid my parents will see it though!

[Kayliedaskope]

Emily, first of all let me say: welcome to the forums! Don't be shy about asking questions - we're all a bunch of (mostly) good people here, and we don't bite .... much .... or hard .... unless you like that kinda thing ... but I digress.....

As for your obvious nervousness about purchasing women's underwear in the stores, don't be. We were all told that it was forbidden, naughty, taboo ... all the usual stuff. Bottom line: the sales associates aren't going to get on the intercom and holler "Y'all come ovah heah to the women's department - we gots a MAN buying hisself some frilly panties!!" Maybe that happens in a bad cross dressing story, but in real life, the SA's don't really care as long as they make the sale. And the SA's that know it's for you and are totally cool with it? THOSE are the ones that will go out of their way to help you and make your shopping experiences pleasant.

Once you find one of those associates that gives you excellent service, make sure that you write a complimentary note to corporate. "Hi, my name is Michelle, and I'm a crossdresser. I was very nervous about going into your store at first, but Gail made me feel so welcome and comfortable ..." ALWAYS do this. It let's corporate know that a real person is specifically calling out how awesome this particular SA is, and how well you were treated.

Stop. Breathe, let it out. Take it easy. Chill, ese, it's just underwear.

[Micki_Finn]

Thanks everyone, I still live at home though and if I buy online I’m afraid my parents will see it though!

Ah the crux of the problem. Either suck it up and tell your parents, or get yourself your own place. You have lots of years ahead of you to dress so take care of your situation first, then you’ll have the freedom to do as you please.

If you have money to spare, go to the post office, UPS store, Mailboxes etc, or similar place and get yourself a PO box.

[Oria]

Get a PO Box

[Piora]

Amazon is a good place to get that sort of thing with out much stress. You can also go to any major retailers website.

Second that. When I was in my late 20s and early 30s, I could go into any store and buy anything without batting an eye. Corsets, panties, stockings....anything. But all that changed. For some reason, now in my 60s, I'm terrified of shopping in person. Amazon is where I buy all of my things. Once you determine your size on everything, ordering is painless. You just have to pay attention to the notes about sizing, and be sure to read comments and reviews on the products.


Thanks everyone, I still live at home though and if I buy online I’m afraid my parents will see it though!

You could arrange to have it shipped to your nearby postal outlet....although some Amazon vendors won't allow you to do that. The other suggestion of a post box is another option.

[Emmmily]

Second that. When I was in my late 20s and early 30s, I could go into any store and buy anything without batting an eye. Corsets, panties, stockings....anything. But all that changed. For some reason, now in my 60s, I'm terrified of shopping in person. Amazon is where I buy all of my things. Once you determine your size on everything, ordering is painless. You just have to pay attention to the notes about sizing, and be sure to read comments and reviews on the products.



You could arrange to have it shipped to your nearby postal outlet....although some Amazon vendors won't allow you to do that. The other suggestion of a post box is another option.


I’m still kinda new to wearing panties, how does sizing work?

[Morgan lace]

I love going in the shops and asking the SA if they think they will fit me. These days the staff cant risk being anything but professional.
Ive had some very interesting conversations and made new friends.

One girl at a local store puts things to one side for me that she thinks I will like, or she would like to imagine me in.
She knows I am married and has even told my wife that she has something on hold for me.

[Piora]

I’m still kinda new to wearing panties, how does sizing work?

When browsing panties, if you don't see a size pull-down window, then they are one-size. Depending on your figure, these might fit you no problem. But if you have a waist of say, around 32-36, and there is a pull-down selection for size (small-XXlarge)then you would use Amazon's size chart which will give you your size depending on your waist measurement. Sometimes the vendor on Amazon will specify not to use Amazon's chart, and will provide their own, since sizing is dependent on the manufacturer sometimes.

Hope this helps!

[Emmmily]

When browsing panties, if you don't see a size pull-down window, then they are one-size. Depending on your figure, these might fit you no problem. But if you have a waist of say, around 32-36, and there is a pull-down selection for size (small-XXlarge)then you would use Amazon's size chart which will give you your size depending on your waist measurement. Sometimes the vendor on Amazon will specify not to use Amazon's chart, and will provide their own, since sizing is dependent on the manufacturer sometimes.

Hope this helps!


I’m around a waist size of 34. What normally speaking size should I go for?

[Teresa]

Emmmily,
First of all get to know your size, then write it down so when you go into a shop say you want something nice for your GF and tell them you didn't know her sizes so you've written it down and show them the piece of paper. Also add that if they the wrong size is it OK for her to come and change them, that usually works.They then usually ask what style does she like so you can then choose what you want without worrying so much. Paying can sometimes be a problem but I've found shopping first thing on a Monday morning preferably if it's raining, that's when I've found you have the store to yourself .
OK you can still have problems , I wanted to catch the sales, so asked a SA very politely if she could help along the lines I've described , she called out in front of other customers to another SA , " Ladies underwear for the gentleman !" I was as red as the underwear I was standing by. The other SA called back , " Ask him to wait by the Charnos knicker rack !" These two had obviously done all this before and were having some fun at my expense , no I didn't chicken out !
It does get easier but shopping in reality can be so much more fun once you get over your nerves .

[Piora]

I would say Large or X-large. But if the ones you're looking at happen to be one-size, then they will still more than likely fit you. I suggest buying inexpensive pairs around a large or X-large. That way you get an idea on the fit. But the size charts are always there to help you.

[Emmmily]

I would say Large or X-large. But if the ones you're looking at happen to be one-size, then they will still more than likely fit you. I suggest buying inexpensive pairs around a large or X-large. That way you get an idea on the fit. But the size charts are always there to help you.

Thanks for the help! Should I start off simple or go more pretty and stylish?

[Micki_Finn]

Whatever you want hon. Nobody is going to see you in them (except maybe SO) so it’s up to you. Whatever you want.

Also, as far as sizing, most websites will have a sizing guide. Learn to read those and you’ll be fine.

[Kayliedaskope]

Thanks for the help! Should I start off simple or go more pretty and stylish?

When in doubt, BOTH!! :)

[Teresa]

Emmmily,
I bought pretty and stylish, that's why I waited for the sales. My favourite was Charnos, at one time you could buy whole sets in wonderful colours , I'm sorry you aren't spoiled for choice like that anymore .

[Emmmily]

Emmmily,
I bought pretty and stylish, that's why I waited for the sales. My favourite was Charnos, at one time you could buy whole sets in wonderful colours , I'm sorry you aren't spoiled for choice like that anymore .

Where are some less expensive panties I can buy but still look great in?

[Bobbi46]

Emmily,
Google size conversion charts you will find a plethora of charts which will help you convert guy sizes to girl sizes. Once you have that sorted out then a visit to your local shops where you can bet more help if you need it.
These days all the Sa's are used to guys buying for their GF's or even for themselves so don't be shy go for it.

[Emmmily]

Thanks for all the answers! I might be making my first purchase tomorrow! Where are some good places to find cheaper but still cute panties??

[Diane Taylor]

Maybe you could try the self check outs.

[Trione]

I am a medium or large, my late wife was an extra large, so when we went shopping for lingerie there was no mistaking who it was for, only every had one SA rise an eyebrow but most were very helpful, even had one lady SA in a VS that was about our age that would suggest thing for me.

[Tracii G]

I will give this advice there is functional and there is pretty/sexy.
Pretty /sexy isn't always comfortable because it isn't made for the male body.
I'n not saying not to experiment with pretty/sexy panties but I thought you should be made aware of that.

[Emmmily]

I will give this advice there is functional and there is pretty/sexy.
Pretty /sexy isn't always comfortable because it isn't made for the male body.
I'n not saying not to experiment with pretty/sexy panties but I thought you should be made aware of that.

Thanks! But does anyone know of places that have a selection of both and aren’t super expensive?

[JocelynJames]

Maidenform.co right now 5 for !25. I love their panties , especially the satin and lace . Very comfy and sexy

[Emmmily]

Maidenform.co right now 5 for !25. I love their panties , especially the satin and lace . Very comfy and sexy

Thanks! I went out today looking and the only deals I could find was on panties that had princesses on them and I’m not sure I’d wear those!

[Tracii G]

WalMart,Target any big box store will have plenty of brands and styles to chose from.
Once you get used to and find what works for you venture into a Victoria's Secret store and try some super sexy ones.
Its all trail and error when it comes to clothes, what might look in the catalog on the model may not look good on you.
Thats why I go in the stores and try things on first.

[Emmmily]

WalMart,Target any big box store will have plenty of brands and styles to chose from.
Once you get used to and find what works for you venture into a Victoria's Secret store and try some super sexy ones.
Its all trail and error when it comes to clothes, what might look in the catalog on the model may not look good on you.
Thats why I go in the stores and try things on first.

I went into Walmart today and a lot of there’s were panties that were for adults but had beauty and the beast and tinker bell and stuff on them

[Sometimes Steffi]

When I first started doing it, I would always have some kind of a cover story or stock answer.

If the say, "She'll really like that."

I'll say, "I'm sure she will."

If they say, "Are those for you?" or "They'll look nice on you."

I'll look down and say, "I think you may be right, but they're way too small for me."

They're are so many ways to spin the story.

I found that when I can come up with a deceptive (but true) answer, it give me the power to avoid what might be an embarrassing situation.

My favorite answer, "It's for me, but it's not for me."

That was actually provided to me by a GM cashier at a small town store.

I was shopping with my wife, and I found this bracelet I wanted, but I couldn't figure out how to buy it without my wife seeing me.

When she went to another part of the store, I went to the cashier and paid for it. I asked the cashier not to tell my wife about it, as if it was a surprise for her.

He said, "I get it. It's for you, bit not for you."

It's for me, because I expect to get lucky for buying it for her.

[Emmmily]

Thanks everyone! I might be going to buy some tomorrow. I’ll let you all know how it goes!

[Tracii G]

Just keep looking you will find something I'm sure.

[Ineke Vashon]

I've been buying nylon panties at Walmart for years. Often they come in a package of 3 to 5. Size wise it's simple, I wear #7. 100% of the time now I use the self check-out. Simple, nobody knows whether I am holding a pair of shorts or a skort. Self check-out is also great for obtaining cash back. Walmart does not charge for that. Haven't used an ATM in years.

Ineke

[Jaymees22]

I usually buy them at the supermarket, just throw them in the basket with everything else. Your parents may wonder why you have a sudden interest in shopping for groceries but might like that you're helping.

[Scarlett398]

Hi Emmm, I was a bit nervous buying lady's panties way early on but now sometimes I tell them that I'm buying them for my wife and sometimes I tell them they are all for me because they are so much more comfortable than men's underwear is!

I've got a ton of all kinds of sexy underwear - most of it stretch lace in any style or thongs. You'll never ever catch me in granny panties. It took me about 3 years to phase my wife out of them. I used to throw out a couple pairs of her granny panties per week until all of them were gone and I just kept buying her sexy panties and now she won't wear anything else! Thank God!

[Glendy]

I go to JCPenneys, walmart and other stores and if I see some panties or bras that I like I have no problem buying them there. So far I've had no sales person committ on my purchases. The first time I did this I was all nervous, but then I noticed that the sales person just want to make a sale and they don't really care who is buying the merchandise.

[CONSUELO]

Emmmily,

Welcome to this site. I hope you can find help, advice and support here. Look through the old threads and I am sure you will find much of interest.

Your fear of going into a store and purchasing what you want is something we have all faced. But we have all found out that the SA's just want a sale and as long as you are polite and willing to exchange small talk with them, they will help you all you want. Within five minutes of you leaving the store they will probably have forgotten about you and will be focussed on the next task or customer. You don't have a big sign over your head, you are just one of the crowd.

With a waist size of 34 I would guess you are a size 6 in panties/knickers in the US. You don't have to tell them who they are for. They are not interested unless it helps them find the right size.

By all means use online shopping but it is just so joyful to wander through the store and look at and feel the clothing. You are not weird or abnormal. You are just you so hold your head high and go and do it. Your fears will evaporate and you will wonder what you were concerned about.

I wish you all the best. As a young cross dresser you have a lifetime of delights ahead of you so enjoy it.

[Cherylgyno]

Emmmily. Are you looking for panties to wear 24/7/365? Are you looking for panties to wear just for a hour or so? You mentioned that you have a 34 waist. A size 7 should fit just fine.
If you are looking for low priced comfortable all day panties I recommend Hanes micro fiber boyshorts. These are the most comfortable panties that I have worn in 50+ years. They will hug you. They won't pinch and bind nor will the legs stretch out of shape like guys junk does.
As for what a SA might say. They see guys buying female clothes for themselves every day. Their 1st day has a lesson about helping men buy women's clothing for themselves. I remember when I was a teenager and my g/f at the time outed me to an SA. I was furious for about a half second. The SA said sure we can fit your b/f. That was in the early 70's. Here we are in 2017.
My wife was in VS last fall buying some bed time thongs for me. She told the SA that she wanted a thong for me. The SA told her where the men's thongs were. My wife no way my husband won't wear men's. W/O batting an eye the SA brought us to the women's thongs.
The nerves that you are feeling are and will be in your head. Every person here has felt that feeling. Those of us that were shopping for our own women's clothing back in the 60's & 70's and before were breaking the ice.
If you inform the SA's that you are shopping for yourself they will be more than happy to help you.
Know your waist measurement in advance.
Emily, if I can be of any more assistance feel free to pm me here.

[Lydianne]

@Emily: If you still need sizing info, there is a sizing chart in the shopping sub forum here (https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?112373-Size-Chart). It was written in '09, but I would think it's still valid. If there have been any changes since then, they wouldn't be soooo significant.

Also be aware that imports might have different standards for the descriptive measurements like S, M, L, Size N, etc. The numerical measurements, of course, are universal :) .

- Lydianne.

[Angie G]

Go on line hun.:hugs:
Angie

[Zoeytgtx]

I think we all tend to start with the fancy lace or nylon panties but as we start wearing them more and more on a daily basis you just cannot pass up the comfort of cotton. Vanity Fair stores sell wonderful cotton panties that are much more comfortable than men's underwear. They come in three packs of different colors and patterns. Size 8 sems to be the exact equal to a men's waist size 36-38.
When I first started shopping for women's items investigating the racks was actually more intimidating than the checkout line. Now I find myself out so often it has ceased to be a problem.

[Emmmily]

Thanks! The closest stores by me are stuff like Walmart, target, JCPenney, Kohl’s and rue 21. Which one would be the best to go to?

[Micki_Finn]

Any of the above would be fine. I thought you weren’t comfortable buying in person? What changed?

[Emmmily]

Any of the above would be fine. I thought you weren’t comfortable buying in person? What changed?

I’m gonna try and be brave today and go for it!

[FrannGurl]

I agree with many of the comments here.

Pretty is nice of course, but if you wear them daily, nothing beats comfort. The skimpier ones at least for me, are not always comfortable I wear boyshorts, bikini and high waist panties usually, but cotton is good for all day wear.

As far as shopping, like Tracii and a few others have said,many places have self checkout if you feel nervous. However most people don't care. Also Christmas and Valentines day are good times to buy if you are using a cashier as many men buy these sort of things during that time of year...and theres always shopping online.

I have a 30" waist and I'm about 140 lbs, so large or a size 8 works for me usually but its different for each person and also depends on the manufacturer.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I would suggest the sale rack at Kohl's. But there's no self check there!

[Janine cd]

I agree. Buy online. Most websites have a generous return policy and sizing is never a real issue.

[StephanieM]

In 20 or so years of buying panties, sometimes for me, sometimes for the wife, I've only ever gotten 2 comments.

One was from a male cashier he said, "Looks like you're doing the wife's bidding today".

The second was a woman, she said, "Something tells me these aren't for you." I replied, "Actually they are, I find them more comfortable", and smiled, she chuckled slightly and probably thought I was being a wise ass.

So go for it no one really cares, and if someone gives you a dirty look while you're in the aisle just say something like "My wife always does this when I ask if she needs something from the store, she asks for the most embarrassing thing she can think of".

[Jenny22]

Em, Nice and inexpensive panties .... go to Ross Dress for Less.

[Piora]

I agree. Buy online. Most websites have a generous return policy and sizing is never a real issue.
Hmmm. Don't know how true that is, as regards returning panties. I would definitely check the vendors' return policy. Often, many of them will accept returns on everything except panties and bathing suits. Check their policies before buying.

[Ginni]

Determine what size, color and style you want. Then go into the store with confidence and act like you know what you're doing. No one will notice you. Once you have made the purchase you will feel great. It gets easier the more you do it. After making a purchase I feel fantastic and excited and can't wait to try them on.

[JeanTG]

I think we all tend to start with the fancy lace or nylon panties but as we start wearing them more and more on a daily basis you just cannot pass up the comfort of cotton.

Completely agree, plain cotton panties are great for everyday wear, but I do like the nylon/lacy stuff from time to time, every girl wants to feel sexy once in a while.

For purchasing? Just woman up and go to any place that sells lingerie. Only once did I get laughed at, and that was more than 30 years ago. I've had SAs help me asking me "what size" my wife is, and not flinch one bit when I say "I'm shopping for myself actually, and in most styles I wear a Large". I've had an SA at the cash of a major department store say "you might find those are sized very large and might be too big for you", without me even saying anything first. Thanked her and got a size smaller. I've had SAs compliment me on my choice.

Most SAs haven't said a word other than "hi", "have you found everything you need", and "thank you". They just ring up the purchase and you're on your way. I've also shopped in smaller boutiques. In fact all my recent clothes shopping has been in person, and though in drab or androgynous, made clear it was for me. I've had nothing but kindness and great advice. Just be respectful, neatly groomed, and unobtrusive. Ask, and more that likely, ye shall receive!

[pedalgirl]

I have a 35 inch waist and I wear size 8. Hope this helps.

[CassandraRae]

I can't believe how nervous I was the first time I walked into a JC Penny's lingerie section. These days I'll slide into the shapewear and bra section at Walmart for a quick look without even thinking about it. At this point, after dozens of visits to the girly sections of stores, I'm almost curious what anyone could possibly say about it. So far I'm invisible.