Similar behavior to crossdressing

[Sue101]

I came across articles about a behavior called maladaptive daydreaming. It bears an uncanny resemblance to crossdressing and describes the powerful attraction of an alternative reality. For those who wish a better insight into crossdressing I suggest you read these two articles linked below.

Some choice quotes from the articles:

He defined “maladaptive daydreaming” (MD) as “excessive fantasy activity that replaces human interaction and/or interferes with academic, interpersonal or vocational functioning”.

This wasn’t just normal daydreaming. Aside from the sheer amount of time they spent doing it, the patients found it difficult to control. It was adversely affecting their work, studies or social life.

Individuals with MD describe a yearning for this excessively rewarding activity that is reminiscent of other pathological habits such as gambling, excessive internet use or unrestrained sexual behaviour. He believes it could eventually be classified as behavioural addiction.

"And when I was daydreaming," says Bigelsen, "the reward centre of my brain just lit up, like when someone on heroin is shown drugs."

Many people who are negatively affected by their daydreams have nowhere to go other than online communities that are often "sort of enabling".

"I spent years feeling alone and scared, like I was the only one on the planet that could possibly be going through this, I was completely ashamed and scared to death anyone would find out. It's time to end that. We're not freaks."


https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/d3gpyw/when-does-obsessive-daydreaming-become-a-mental-illness-591ee1167f3107da28bf88f8
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/resources/idt-sh/the_daydream_that_never_stops

[Stacy Darling]

Comparing this CD with a "Maladaptive" daydreamer shall never be done!

We Crossdressers are not maladaptive nor are we technically daydreamers!

I wear a skirt and lippy so must adapt!

Stacy!

[sarah_hillcrest]

Yeah I agree, any similarities seem superficial at best and I don't see them related. I could imagine a CD or TS person perhaps developing this if they spent a lot of time daydreaming about a alternative life.

I never really had a name for it, I just called it pretending, but I used to have an elaborate story in my head I would develop usually before I went to bed as I was falling asleep. It always helped me to fall asleep, so I guess you could call it adaptive daydreaming?

[GretchenM]

There may be crossdressers that are afflicted with this maladaptive behavior or even a milder form of it, but as an explanation for crossdressing it just doesn't fly in my book. Crossdressing can have a powerful effect creating a quasi-addictive behavior in those who are prone to addictive behavior, but all the research that has been done on this and other gender expression "difficulties" show that the behavior seems to be based in some kind of gender reversal in the person's personality. It is just the way their personal gender sense operates and has operated for years. Any interference of crossdressing in their daily lives is more due to social expectations telling the person that their expression is contrary to the "traditional and stereotypical" model of male and female. As those expectations are relaxing considerably, gender expression that does not meet the customary, historical pattern are more acceptable. Thus the disturbance in those caused by the discrimination fades away. Those like us are being viewed more and more as just a natural variation in gender expression. Rather different, but within the normal range. But calling the behavior as maladaptive just doesn't seem to fit the verified evidence.

[Fiona123]

Another attempt to make crossdessing or gender variance into a mental illness. I had hoped we were beyond that

[Tracii G]

No where close I'm sorry and that is offensive to suggest that.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Well there seem to be some parallel symptoms, though I wouldn't go so far as to say they add up to an uncanny resemblance.

The codification of all human behaviour seems to be an obsession, with whole branches of research dedicated to it.

If you feel you fit the profile for a maladaptive daydreamer, how does that knowledge benefit you?

[Tracy Irving]

If I ever I read the horoscopes, I will often wonder how a few generic words can pertain to so many people. As I was reading about maladaptive daydreaming from the op, it felt eerily similar.

[Laura912]

Sue, it is an interesting intellectual exercise to discuss MD and cross dressing behaviors and I do not find it offensive to explore the comparison. With many behaviors, there are areas of overlap but that does not mean one is the same as the other. It reminds me of the possible answer to type K questions we used to have on exams. “True. True. But not related.” For nearly all forms of gender variance, we are not dealing with an alternate reality but reality, who we are or wish to be.

[Julie Slowinski]

I can see the similarities. At least in my head, there's a lot of thinking about and imagining various situations or just about different outfits. At some level, it's on my mind just about all the time unless I'm really focused on something else. The key for me is to be able to control those thoughts and not let them interfere with the other parts of my life. If it was such that I found it impossible to function or concentrate on other things (as these MD folks seem to be struggling with), then I would consider it a mental illness and seek treatment. Of course, that's true for any behavior - it's not a problem until it is a problem.

[Majella St Gerard]

Really now

[Tracii G]

I think people that post things like this are trying to find an excuse for why they CD.
They think there has to be some deep seeded reason or trauma that causes them to dress.
It can never be because "they were born that way or its just a part of their personality".
Or perish the thought they just enjoy dressing as the opposite gender.

[Jane G]

An interesting read, I can't speak for others, but that is a very long way from where I am at as a crossdresser.

[Jenny22]

"He defined “maladaptive daydreaming” (MD) as “excessive fantasy activity that replaces human interaction and/or interferes with academic, interpersonal or vocational functioning”."

I don't believe the poster meant it as a cause of CDing.

I think a key to MD lies in what is considered a 'fantasy activity'. A CDer, when not dressed, could well be engaged in some serious mental MD about CDing. To me, that would be a fit, if it was to the detriment of other social intercourse. An example might be a CDing husband's constant, totally absorbing wishing that the weekend would come sooner so he could dress.

[Micki_Finn]

I mean if you really wanna stretch you could compare crossdressing to acoholism, bible study, or French cuisine. Doesn’t mean that there’s any significant correlation.

[Stephanie47]

Rubbish! That being said I will agree there are people who may be totally consumed by some activity..any activity. I know people who spend way too much time gaming. Or gambling. Or watching sports! Yes, that will lead to the amount of time left for personal interactions. Of course, if you drive a long haul rig for the allowable eleven hours a day, that may also lead to less time for personal interactions.

Why I wear women's clothing on occasion, I don't know. It has nothing to do with day dreaming. When en femme I actually get a lot more done than if I am en drab. All those domestic chores I do while my wife works outside the home do not get done with day dreams.

I wonder if the author has researched "day mares?"

[Teresa]

Sue,
Some so called experts put AGP down and offer this as an alternative.

AGP I feel fits me better, the daydreaming label suggests it's all part of our imagination and not a reality , AGP certainly is .

No we are not freaks, our wiring is slightly different , to some it affects sexuality and others have gender issues , most of it occurs in the womb so we don't have much say in the matter, we just have to learn to live with it .

Tracii,
I explained how my CDing started at the age of 8-9 to my gender counsellor and she agreed with me that it was traumatic for someone of my age , it was when my GD started along with AGP . Obviously the seeds were sown for those events to happen .

[Bobbi46]

Maladaptive Daydreaming? I have never heard such a load of old cobblers for many years, whoever invented that term must have been dreaming themselves, it's been said so many times before but some don't or wont listen and accept the mere fact that we were born this way ! no amount of stupid daydreaming can be linked to a cause for cross dressing and other issues.

[Lana Mae]

I think it is like comparing apples to oranges! They are both fruits and that is about it! MD is a sort of non-reality! Crossdressing is very real! We are wired this way and that is not going to change! Best to accept it and live your life! Hugs Lana Mae

[Alice Torn]

Crossdressing does take me into non reality a lot,and much fantasy life, and it can be harmful to real like relationships and functioning. At least for me.

[Cherylgyno]

If I had seen this upon returning to my cave after a dinosaur hunt, I might have considered it.
Cross dressing addictive? No way. Cross dressing is so much more. An addiction can beat. I was born a cross dresser and I will die a cross dresser. An addiction is bad, cross dressing is only great, super, outstanding etc.
Maladaptive day dreaming? Yes I do daydream about what I will wear. I day dream about going fishing, about what I will eat for my next meal, a log cabin in the middle of nowhere, petting and snuggling with my dogs and many other things.
To me cross dressing is more than life. I was born this way and I am very happy to be a cross dresser. My PTSD psych told me that there was a pill that would cure cross dressing. I got up to leave and she stopped me informing me that she wanted to find out how I felt about being a cross dresser. A semi quote from a cartoon. I am what I am, I'm Cheryl the cross dressing man.

[Dana44]

Sure we daydream. However crosssdressing is not dayreamng. We are what we are and some of us love ourselves and are a peace with ourselves.

[sometimes_miss]

spent years feeling alone and scared, like I was the only one on the planet that could possibly be going through this, I was completely ashamed and scared to death anyone would find out.
Sounds like pretty much anyone (and that means everyone) that has ever watched some kind of 'adult entertainment', or read that type of printed material. No one wants to admit they watched it, or that they EVER get excited by it. Even though practically everyone does or has as some point in their life. Might just be a peak through the opposite sex part of a Sears Catalog (yep, I did that as a pre-teen), or Sports Illustrated's swimsuit edition. No one wants to explain why they're getting turned on by anything. We're still mostly a puritanical society. Gee, 40 years ago I was sure that we'd have advanced more by now. But the old ways persist, maybe because WE felt guilty, we feel the need to pass that shame on to the next generation. What a colossal waste of time.

[Ressie]

I can see where cross dressing could become the fantasy one daydreams about. I see this as two separate things that could coincide with some people. I'm guessing that too much time CDing alone could cause one to slip into this condition. That's a lot of coulds!

[Pat]

Not seeing the comparison myself. Crossdressers dress which is an active verb and based in physical actions taken in a physical world even if they're closeted. Daydreaming is by definition passive and is based in the daydreamer's head. While crossdressers may well ALSO daydream, the activities seem distinct.

[NicoleScott]

I think maladaptive daydreaming does apply to some of us. We see a catalog of pretty women wearing pretty dresses and we fantasize about wearing those pretty dresses after transforming into a feminine image with wigs, makeup, shapewear, etc. The crossdressing is making the fantasy real for us. I can't imagine how I could ever crossdress without first having that fantasy (daydream).
When anything (crossdressing, golf, gambling, drinking, daydreaming......) is done excessively (excessive is part of the definition of MD - see the OP) it can cause disruption of normal life activities, including interaction with others.
But certainly doesn't apply to all crossdressers whose normal life activities are not disrupted.

[Sue101]

Thanks everyone for the feedback.

There is obviously some confusion about why I posted about MD.

I am not saying that crossdressing is a daydream or is just fantasy but there are many behavioral commonalities between MD and CDing if you read up about it.

CDing is not unique, it does not stand alone in splendid isolation. By looking at other conditions with an open mind we can better understand our own experiences.

For example who would have thought something as simple and normal as daydreaming could become an addictive behavior? Considering many CDs obsess about dressing then maybe we underestimate the powerful draw of an alternative reality and how it may then affect us in the real world. In MD the fantasies become increasingly more detailed and fleshed out so ultimately more rewarding. How many can relate to that?

Regular fantasies cannot be actualized because we can never be superheroes or the greatest athlete in the world or some mythical being. In CDing we can easily achieve the fantasy, we can live the life we find so rewarding. As Nicole Scott said the fantasy proceeds the enactment. It is the chicken and egg conundrum, which comes first?

Also the majority of those with MD say there was no trauma in their childhood that made them retreat into their fantasies. It simply happened by itself out of the blue. Again many CDs will relate. Maybe it is the overactive child's imagination that creates reality out of fantasy. The cause and effect that we seek to explain our CDing may simply not exist in the first place. If so we can be more relaxed about the what it all means.

There is no need to feel threatened by considering alternative explanations. We all have our own unique life experience and we can take or leave whatever we want from the experiences of others.

[jennifer0918]

Day dreaming you say?
Well who knows
Love&hugs
Good luck with your scholary pursuit on why we dress.
I live

[Jodie_Lynn]

Thanks everyone for the feedback.

There is obviously some confusion about why I posted about MD.

I am not saying that crossdressing is a daydream or is just fantasy but there are many behavioral commonalities between MD and CDing if you read up about it.

CDing is not unique, it does not stand alone in splendid isolation. By looking at other conditions with an open mind we can better understand our own experiences.

.

Crossdressing is a 'condition' now, is it? Sounds like a 1950's euphemism for mental illness or alcoholism.

"Yes, Uncle Rupert is going away for a while. He has a 'condition'."

Just because activity "A" has points of commonality with activity "B", it does not correlate that they are similar. And comparing crossdressing to a negative mental state implies that crossdressing is a negative behavior.

While many of us would like to have a reason to explain why we are the way we are, maybe there is no definable reason. You might as well ask why some people are left-handed.

[NicoleScott]

"Methinks thou doth protest too much" over the use of the word "condition". It doesn't necessarily have a negative connotation. I might have used attribute, trait, or characteristic to describe my crossdressing. Sue chose condition.

Daydreaming is good, but living your entire life in a fantasy world is not. How could we invent without daydreaming about it first?

[Becky Blue]

Possibly some people may dream and imagine themselves as the other gender, but that has nothing to do with actually dressing or being transgendered in my opinion.