Not TV, not TS, but a third sex?

[AmandaM]

I talked with a gender counselor who said I was a TV with TS tendencies, according to the standards. She didn't have any experience with transgendered people. So she went by the book. But she said something that got me thinking. She said I was the third sex, the transgendered, not male or female, but in-between. I am assuming here that she means "transgenderist". Someone who should live as a female, even grow breasts, but not necessarily do away with junior. What do you think? Is there really a third sex? Do we really have to choose male or female depending on who we identify with?


P.S. Sorry Tamara, I didn't see that "gg only" part.

[Kimberley]

I would say find a therapist who specializes in gender issues. This one obviously hasnt a clue.

Kimberley.

[Fallen Angel]

this is a deep subject but what do you really think you are, meaning cd,tv.ts do you want to be a complete female,is it a sexual thing, And to tell you the trueth of the matter I have my doughts about head doctors half of them cant even keep there own life in order and expect others to be able to. Ive taken a few of those identity tests and most came up as Im neither male or female. The proublem is sociatey says we are sick and we are not.If dressing makes you feel better and reduces stress and your not hurting anyone who cares!! its safer than going to a bar getting drunk and driving home and when was the last time you heard in the head lines man in dress shoots people in local mall.This is what gets me in the animal kingdom the males are always the most colorfull to attract the oposet sex. In our world its just the oposet its the females that do makes no sense to me any who this is just my 2 cents worth xxxxx

[MandyTS]

Gender is not something to just mess with like that...

My therapist said, we are sexual persons, and even woman have sexual feelings (i.e increased sensations in certain areas of the body) to certain stimuli...

For me it is getting my nails done, possably with the connotation that I am going to pick up a guy and have *** ... of course it does not happen everytime, and it is very sparatic... kind of like seeing this absolutly cute guy... :D

Sexual asside, it is up to YOU to choose, and definitly find a therapist... live between the gender ideals is not something to take too lightly...

Mandy

[Maria D]

I think it's extremely important to be who YOU are, whatever that is, without being pigeon-holed by anyone, in any way.

Too many TG people get surgery to 'be' what's expected, rather than because it's right for them. Equally, many TS people never actually have the SRS, does that not make them somewhere in the middle?
Society expects to see only two genders, but surely we more than anyone understand that's just not the case?
I fully understand Mandy's point that living in the middle isn't easy, but neither is being forced to choose either way if that's not who you are. Mandy has to for her health, but most of us are lucky enough to not have that pressure. :)

Take care :)

[Jennaie]

You can't limit things to "the third sex". We are all different, I would not take anything a counselor surmized to me and just say, Oh, ok". Counselors are just people, they are not you. You decide what is best for you.

[sparks]

U sat Potato I say POHtatoh!
I ams what I ams.
My councelor talked about yin and yang alot as well. ****ing quacks

[Jennaie]

"I hAVE ANOTHER CLUE FOR YOU ALL THE WALRUS WAS PAUL"
John Lennon

Paul wasn't the walrus, John was the walrus, He was saying that to be nice.:rofl: :rofl:

[Kimberley]

You can't limit things to "the third sex". We are all different, I would not take anything a counselor surmized to me and just say, Oh, ok". Counselors are just people, they are not you. You decide what is best for you.
**********
I agree, no competent counsellor should be telling a client what they are, or what they should do. The counsellor's job is to HELP you discover it for yourself.

Kimberley

[sparks]

"I hAVE ANOTHER CLUE FOR YOU ALL THE WALRUS WAS PAUL"
John Lennon

Paul wasn't the walrus, John was the walrus, He was saying that to be nice.:rofl: :rofl:
But we're still looking through that glass onion. maybe to see how the other half lives. But to truthful he was urked with Paul at the time!

[CaptLex]

I talked with a gender counselor who said I was a TV with TS tendencies, according to the standards. She didn't have any experience with transgendered people. So she went by the book. But she said something that got me thinking. She said I was the third sex, the transgendered, not male or female, but in-between. I am assuming here that she means "transgenderist". Someone who should live as a female, even grow breasts, but not necessarily do away with junior. What do you think? Is there really a third sex? Do we really have to choose male or female depending on who we identify with?

Wow, I think it's more than a little scary that someone is literally going "by the book". She doesn't have enough experience, so she has to look it up and tell you what you are? Kimberley is right, I don't think a competent counselor should tell you what you are, but help you find that out for yourself. Actually, I'm seeing a therapist myself and every week he helps me talk it through so that someday I may find the answers for myself, but he has never attempted to tell me which way he thinks I should go.

I also agree with Jan Clare about this being an individual journey. I sometimes feel impatient to reach the end of that road already so I can figure out what to do or not do, but I know that taking that trip is the only way to get there.

By the way, you (and me too) can possibly be a third gender or none of the above. We don't have to decide to be male or female. We can live our lives androgynously, bi-gendered and without neatly fitting into anyone else's definition. We just are what we are and if whatever that is hasn't been defined yet, that's okay too. As long as we're happy with ourselves.

I just hope to figure out what that is myself. Good luck to you.

[MandyTS]

I personally believe that all this comes down to is the ability to look in the mirror and say... this is me, and no one else can say otherwise... whatever sex, gender, orientation, etc that may be...

Sometimes it takes someone to push the gender boundary to be truely revolutionary... and some of the greatest minds in the world pushed the envelope. That tearing of traditional ideas is what allows us to progress in this life...

Do I beleive in a third gender... sure! I am one, and as my father said, you will always be my son, and my daughter, and if it is female that will let you express that to the fullest ideal than that is who you should become... I no longer have the choice in that decision for you!

- Making the hardest decision in my life...

Mandy

[AmandaM]

I just wish I was TV or TS, then maybe it'd be easier. Being in-between, I feel like I'm a little lost.

[CaptLex]

I just wish I was TV or TS, then maybe it'd be easier. Being in-between, I feel like I'm a little lost.

I know what you mean, it's the in-between part that is causing all the confusion in me too. I feel like I'm riding an emotional and hormonal roller coaster - and I just want to get off already. If your current counselor isn't helping, please look for another with experience. It's hard enough being confused without having to deal with a therapist that is also confused.

Here's hoping we'll find the answers. ;)

[Sarahgurl371]

"I to am lost, and feelin double crossed, and I am sick of whats wrong and whats right". Cool line from a great song. Sometimes they speak volumes even about subjects they are not about.

I am so very confused. Don't know what I am. Met with a gender therapist today for the first time. Guess we will see were it goes. I don't know if they are supposed to give the answers or not. I think they are to help us get there. It would seem that I have already asked myself the questions anyway. Just need some affirmation that I am right and not nuts.

Anyway, a good book talking about the 3rd sex - Gender Outlaw, by Kate Bornstien. She is a post op MTF TS who thinks that the defined paths are not always whats right for everyone. She questions the gender lines and offers some insight as to a "3RD SEX". Worth the 15 bucks and the read.

[Casey Morgan]

Amandachick. maybe this will help. I've taken a few of those "what sex are you" tests and the questions that really got me were the ones that said you could be truly comfortable being one gender or the other, which do you pick? My gut reaction every time has been don't make me give up one or the other, I can't rip half my soul away like that. I wish I could change between two different bodies, one completely male and the other completely female. It feels like there really are two of me. I osted more in a thread here (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=25829). See rikkicn's reply. That might make sense to you if you feel the way I do. (And you seem to. Maybe it's just me though.)

[Kimberley]

I have to wonder if we dont fixate too much on what we are rather than who we are?

I am certainly TS but I cant see going the route to SRS, at least at this time in my life. So by the so-called standards I am not a TS but a TG.

Okay, if you say so. The label doesnt change how I feel about myself or how others see me. So because I am not going out for a minimum of HRT does that change how I feel or think? Of course not. Because I elect not to "go out" does that mean I am not a TG but instead a TV? Same answer.

The answers are within and the one thing we cant do is lie to ourselves. We may be confused about directions and the options available but in truth each of us knows!

Some of us (and I am the poster child) made a lot of mistakes along the way denying ourselves the truth of who we are. There is a heavy price to be paid for that as most of us know.

I cant say where I will be in a month, a year or five years. I can say that I wont give up on reconciling both parts of me to be one in spirit. So the queston is or should be not one of a third sex but one of a third gender. I dont believe there is. I believe that we are in a constant state of flux, ever changing and hopefully growing, on our own, with professional help and most importantly with the support of one another.

Love you all.
Kimberley.