Dating shyness.

[Mysterious Nina]

Hey girls, i have encountered many problems with shyness when meeting with guys. I am bi(80% towards guys, 20% girls) with sexual desire. I have been with few but they all insisted "XXX" on a first date without much of a fuss. The person i am i don't like that very much.. i am more reserved which takes some time for me to trust someone and be comfortable with. I always fear the thoughts that they might have about me and it makes me very nervous to the point where i stop seeing anyone for a long periods of time.

Has anyone of you been through something like this? Its hard to find someone relaxed and that wants something more there.. i am not that brave to go outside so i have to stick to this method :(. Any input/advice would be very appreciated! Thanks for reading :)

[Tracii G]

I'm old school I have to be in love with a guy before I give up the goods.

[DelilahGurl]

I don't know what to say except - I know your pain.
As a woman, I've only had one relationship, and he was very patient and understanding.
I've thought about dating sites, but not sure where to turn.

[Mysterious Nina]

Tracii G You are similar to me, but i don't necessarily need to fall in love with him... just to get to know him on a deeper level :).

- - - Updated - - -

DelilahGurl Yeah its definitely tough to find a good dating site.. and even tougher to find someone wanting a relationship, a bond. This site i use has all the sexual orientation involved together which is neat, but mostly i encounter guys that are hetero and like the idea of the sex with a Cross, but not more than that. I hope you will find something for you :).

[Tracii G]

I have come close to being in a relationship with a trans girl but it didn't happen sadly.

[Jean. Ann]

I find it especially hard to connect with
a GG who is accepting . I don't wish out
myself to the world , while at the same time
Being honest with a potential date .

JAS

[Rogina B]

I have come close to being in a relationship with a trans girl but it didn't happen sadly.

I was geographically undesirable...

[Tracii G]

Well Ro thats no good.
I think her and I were just both so messed up and neurotic it wouldn't have worked out anyway.
She is a real sweetheart tho' and I am sorry it didn't happen.

[Melissa Rose]

A lot depends on how and where you are meeting these guys. As an example, if you are posting on Craig's List, all you are going to find are guys looking only for a quick and fast hook up. If you are using on-line dating such Date a Crossdresser (I'm unsure if it still exists), your odds are a little better, but still a big challenge.

If I am reading your post correctly, you are closeted and have to meet in private. This is the core of the problem. Unfortunately, the expectation is private meetups are usually just about no strings attached sex. If you look at it from the guys perspective, what's in it for him besides a hookup? You cannot go out on dates or do fun stuff in public, so why else is he going to hang around for more than a short while. IMHO, there is not a lot you can do to change this dynamic. You are going to have to go through a big pile of hay before finding the needle. The odds are not in your favor. I wish it was different.

[jennifer0918]

What is love?but a mutual respect between two people. Just be yourself go out and have fun,be friends first and then if feelings grow well then you can make a decision.
Love&hugs

[Tracii G]

I have a hard time understanding people having sex just to have sex and there not being love as the driving reason for it.

[Mysterious Nina]

Thanks for replies everyone. Melissa Rose, i am too scared to get out of the closet atm and i would prefer only seeing indoors either his place or mine. It can workout probably and shyness doesn't help with going out in public at all... let alone coming out to closed ones :(.

[docrobbysherry]

Nina, in my experience men r quite accepting of not rushing a girl into sex. But, those same men want to take their girl out. Have some fun and show her off. If I understand the way u "date" is u either invite them over or u go to their place? With either one being a bad idea on a first date.:straightface:

Plus, either of those says to a man, "We're going to just stay in and have sex."
If want to get to know a man first, I think you'll have date the customary way. Go out to dinner, a club, or a movie, etc. :battingeyelashes:

[Tracii G]

To add to what Sherry said how about you you two meet as guys go out and do something fun get to know each other just like regular dating.
If he is into you dressing up as a girl then save that for in the house untill you are ready to venture out in public.

Nina I have to ask are you in the closet and hiding all this because you are married?
If you are married that is cheating.

[jennifer0918]

Great point tracii I kinda got the same feeling from this thread. Yes cheating is wrong and if your bi come clean.

[alesha]

Are you only interested in men when you’re dressed and is that the reason why you only want to meet in private?