Interesting Discussion

[lingerieLiz]

I have a woman in the neighborhood who has known I wear women's clothes for many years. Has seen me dressed several times. So do most of my other neighbors know. Any way I help her with things she can't do. A few months ago she got a new boy friend. Nice guy but I never knew where he would stand on my choice of clothes. So today he calls me to ask a question. They have broken up and she is making it hard on him by spreading lies. As we are talking he says, you know she tells every little piece of dirt she can on you too. He then said, I told her I don't care what he wears he's a nice guy and a friend.

[Gillian Gigs]

It's called gossip, and almost everyone does it! The problem is that it hurts everyone, even the person spreading the gossip.

[Tracii G]

Never get involved in things like this.
He could have been trying to drag you into their problem so never take sides.
I have had friends try to get me involved in their love spats and I tell them I don't want to hear it. We are both friends so I am not picking sides in your quarrels.

[AllieSF]

Sage advice Tracii!!

[Jane G]

As said. Try and stay out of other people's quarrels? Also it's almost always safe to assume that any thing you tell someone, they will tell some one else.

[Jean 103]

Tracii, is right. A Girl friend of mine was at the bar to night with her boyfriend. A few months ago she was crying on my shoulder about him cheating on her. I never offer an opinion, I know better. Yes and people gossip , if I do anything, it's all over town. This is why I had to come out, to stay ahead of this stuff.

[Linda P.]

It can be extremely awkward and troubling to get caught up in a dispute between two others. But sometimes very difficult to avoid. They can both attempt to get you on their side. But you feel you have no interest in taking a side. It's easy when one is a friend and the other is not. But can be very difficult when you are trying to stay out of it and they are dragging you in. In these situations I have tried to just appear to agree with whatever each says about the other and not add any fuel to the fire.

[Maria 60]

He said she said! That's the problem nobody knows if the person is really telling the truth or is instigating to do some fishing of there own.
We once had great niebours, they separated and my wife became very close with her helping her out through this hard period.
She was always at our house and when she was over I was like one of the girls involved in there women conversation, my wife asked me because she got to know our niebour so well and trusted her that she wanted to tell her about my dressing so I could dress while she was over and I could really feel like one of the girls.
I told my wife I'm sure that she's trust worthy but I like my secret with only my wife, thank God we didn't tell her. We found out from other friends that she was back talking us behind our backs to other friends.
You just don't know, everyone has there best interest at heart.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Liz :hugs:, The only real secret is one that you don't share with anyone.>Orchid...:daydreaming:...

[NancySue]

Yep. For these and other reasons is why “secrecy” is our #1 concern. Even in business, if you believe it, when someone says, “if you promise not to tell”, it’s probably already out. Gossip is insidious. I think most of us want to tell someone, I did...my wife, no one else. Once out, there’s no turning back.

[Allisa]

Interesting, here he is telling stories out of school about someone you know and have known before him. Could it be a means to try and get even with her by putting a wedge between you and her? Funny thing though you said the neighbors know about your CDing so what harm can be done by telling your "secret", as I've said many times before if you own it, it can't be used against you. All my neighbors know either from seeing me or from the nosy gossip that lives next door to me.

[Fiona123]

I agree with Tracii and others. Best to stay out of that situation.

[Lana Mae]

Agree with Tracii! Keep them both an arms length away! Hugs Lana Mae

[lingerieLiz]

I already figured she told her boyfriend, but he confirmed it and let me know it didn't bother him. That was what I was relaying. I know her well and she does talk about everyone. I'm the only person in the neighborhood that is friendly with her. Most won't even talk to her. She is a conniver and lier and all that. Her husband (deceased) knew I wore women's clothes. He would rub my back just to tease me. I went fishing with him and his friend with me wearing casual women's shorts and tops even a bra on. As far as that goes her daughters know too. They talked to my daughter about it years ago. It would be pretty hard not to know about my choice of clothes since I go out and get the paper every morning often wearing a long night gown. Have talked to neighbors between us while holding our robes closed as our gowns blew in the wind. Since I wear women's clothes almost full time I assume that people know they are women's and accept the old geezer down the street for what it is.

[Alice Torn]

I made the foolish mistake of telling a woman who like to gossip about my dressing, knowing her son is gay, and now married to another man. I even showed her many photos of me dressed up. She said she would not tell anyone. RIGHT! Soon, many who know me now know. I no longer live in that area, though.

[Tracy Irving]

Tell one, tell all. We all enjoy telling someone something they don't know about someone else. Nobody is immune from it. I have friends who don't even know they're doing it. I often think to myself, "Why are you telling me this?" Mostly because it's none of my business and I really don't care...

[SaraLin]

You found a guy friend that doesn't mind that you dress???!!!?!?

WOW! That's even rarer than finding an accepting GG.

So, enquiring minds want to know (well, I do!)... what did YOU say when he said that?

[lingerieLiz]

I haven't said anything about dressing. I've had guys and girls that knew I dressed in most every place I've lived. Pretty obvious if you are standing there in a dress and they see you. When I was young I looked very feminine and passed. Even when not dressed I used to have guys tease me about being a girl. and on occasion was propositioned. Never been interested in men. I suppose most of the guys in the neighborhood or club have been clued in by their wives. One night at a party we were discussing sexuality with several other people. Some were aware of my CDing and one person asked if I could explain it. The lights went out (power failure) and I never did explain it. We stayed friends until he died.

[Lovely Allyson]

Sadly, the only way to keep a secret secure is to tell it to nobody.

[lingerieLiz]

The only people I've ever told were family. The rest learned by observation. If questioned I've answered truthfully. I do agree that the only safe secret is one that no one else knows.