CDers comming out to adult familly members

[Rayleen]

Coming out to family members, wondering how and if it is the best idea ?
Wonder

[Scarlett1975]

Funny I was thinking about the same issue today

[Ressie]

Some family members may be accepting and others not. You should have an idea of how each member feels by the way they've reacted to the topic in general. Did your brother make jokes about Katlyn Jenner, etc.? Did your mom have nice things to say about transgender issues? Or is it a topic that's DADT?

[Rogina B]

Get your story straight in advance ! What is your goal from telling? Is it a fetish thing,or do you wish them to know that you are headed out the front door? How intense are your gender thoughts? All of this matters and like what Ressie speaks of..You perhaps already know of how they view transgender issues..

[Vicky_Scot]

Get your story straight in advance ! What is your goal from telling? Is it a fetish thing,or do you wish them to know that you are headed out the front door? How intense are your gender thoughts? All of this matters and like what Ressie speaks of..You perhaps already know of how they view transgender issues..

Rayleen I think you need to read this SUPERB reply a few times and take it in as Rogina has sumed it up brilliantly. x

[Sarah Doepner]

I agree that you really need to know your motivation for sharing and understand yourself well enough to be honest in fielding questions. Also understand you won't get the toothpaste back in the tube once it's done. You may try to keep the information limited to one or two, but that probably ain't gonna happen, it will eventually spread and you won't know that had happened.

I came out to my wife, but only after being discovered. I was fortunate that she understood, loved and eventually accepted me with points off for not being fully honest earlier. After she died I was tossed back in the closet, the closet that someday, someone would walk in to get things for me at the hospital or to clean it out after I die or something. I felt a need to share with someone so they could comprehend what they found in there and what to do with it. I eventually told my daughter, seemed safe enough. She told me "We wondered when you would tell us." My kids had known longer than my wife.

I spoke with each of them about it, one at a time. Eventually my middle son's best friend needed a place to stay and since I like the kid and trusted him I told him. Yeah, he knew as well. That was it. No more, no one else need to know. Then one day a nephew was getting his car worked on by the house mate and followed him in and saw me at the kitchen table dressed. We chatted and he said he would keep it to himself and no problems. However, his grandpa is my brother-in-law and is very, very anti-trans, a homophobe and has a history of violence. I needed a couple more allies on that side of the family, so soon it became my sister-in-law and her adult kids. Then I found out my daughter had shared with her brother's ex wife, who has a gay brother and son. I got that second hand. I've had no bad consequences to date, but there are a lot of people who know about me that I've never told.

Long story short; So all of that because I didn't want to surprise someone walking into my closet on the off chance I have an accident, or maybe I really wanted to be out of the closet. I still don't know.l

[Micki_Finn]

It really depends on your family.

[Majella St Gerard]

I just started posting pictures on Facebook, I have not heard anything negative.

[XemmaX]

I guess you need to work out what this means to you exactly, are you questioning your gender?, what do you hope from telling (just weight off your back?) and what are your family like around lgbtqi issues. when you got that figured that should inform how you go about coming out to your family and goodluck.

[Alice Torn]

No way will i come out to my siblings. Parents are passes away/

[Robertacd]

Yes, no, maybe?

There is no clear answer, it depends on you and your family situation.

[Rayleen]

Sometimes during the week , I change in leggings and a women top to relax around the house. One day daughter popped up the driveway and did not see her coming. I opened the door and we chatted on some other matter, and never tought about it until she was gone. She never said a word about it...So maybe she knew before and never made any remarks . Sometimes younger people don't care or are not anti everything different.

[Pat]

Is it a good idea? Only you can answer that. My sense of coming out is you'll know when you have to do it. I finally came out to my family (children and brother) because I couldn't take the thought of them never knowing who I really am. And because I had started down the path to discovering myself and from the place I was at, it felt like I was lying to them when I was playing the cis-male role. But as Rogina alluded to, I pretty much had my story worked out by then -- who I was, where I was going with this, etc. It's OK not to know all the answers, but if someone asks you something you're uncertain about, don't bluff -- just say you're not sure yet.

I was lucky -- everyone accepted me. There are others who lost their relationships. We're kind of fortunate at the moment that there's a wave of public awareness that we can ride. As the financial prospectuses say, "Past success is no guarantee of future performance."

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Rayleen:hugs:, No one knows your family better than you,

Be sure to see line #4 in my signature.>Orchid...:daydreaming:...

[Dana44]

Only you can answer that. My ex outed me and my sister doesn't even talk to me any more. So some family's are not accept at all.

[Rayleen]

Only you can answer that. My ex outed me and my sister doesn't even talk to me any more. So some family's are not accept at all.

Thanks Dana44, I know its a long and slow process,will my time .

[Majella St Gerard]

the first time I wore a skirt in front of my 20 something step daughter, she didn't even give me a second look. I finally asked her why she didn't comment on my skirt, she said it's just you being you. up to that point I was just wearing girl shorts and painting my nails. I guess it didn't hurt that her mom was quite eccentric and avant garde and I also