Closure for "In Hotel Room Hoping to be Caught"

[Jennifer72]

It has taken awhile for me to return to this site and I was surprised at the many responses my original post generated.

I realize that I worded the original post very poorly. I would like to say that I was dressed in a long denim skirt (to my ankles) and a long sleeve satin blouse that was not low cut. I was not dressed as a street walker. I would say fashionable.

I was planning on having housekeeping see me enfemme for the first time. I was going to be going about my daily work on my computer. I was not going to corner the housekeeper, expose myself or place her in a well. Again, my choice of words were not well thought out ahead of time.

Well, many wondered the outcome of that day, absolutely nothing! I was so ashamed from the responses that I quickly changed back to male mode and continued my computer work while housekeeping took care of my room.

To the few of you ladies who gave me the benefit of the doubt as to my intentions and support I thank you with all my heart. It was rereading your posts that took the sting out of all the other posts.

To all the others, well, you know who you are, especially those who wouldn't let the post fade away without hurtful words. I only wish we all could be as sanctimonious.

Regards,

Jennifer

[Tracii G]

Well you did leave a lot of details out of your original post so thats why some of us reacted the way we did.
Its hard for us to know your intentions because we aren't mind readers.
Don't be upset at the reaction you got is all I'm saying.

[aprilgirl]

Jennifer, I remember the thread, but didn't reply. I'm just speculating here, but it may have been the "hoping to get caught" in the title, where many here believe that they, and you, are doing nothing wrong. I do understand why you posted what you did, when you did, as I think most of us need the validation that "she" exists. That was just your moment in time. For what it's worth, based on your avatar, I think you look lovely, and hope you get to express yourself in the future. I hope it's here on the forum too. Kim

[NicoleScott]

I have no regrets for being one of your supporters in that thread. Many people read way too much into the OP, choosing the worst interpretation of your words, and then judging you.
That thread reminds me of another recent thread, in which the OP sought like-minded members' thoughts on putting on a wedding dress. Instead, the responses were judgmental "how dare you", "tainted the gown", "ruined the marriage", etc. How so? Many of us remember that first time being seen en femme and feeling nervous excitement of the anticipation. THAT was the theme of your thread. Likewise, the theme of the wedding dress thread was the feeling of wearing the dress. What went wrong?
The OP could have said "I tried on a wedding dress and I felt.......", omitting the details that others reacted to and weren't relevant to what it feels like to wear a wedding dress.
Jennifer, your hotel room OP could have left out some details that others misinterpreted, and instead focused on your anticipation of being seen for the first time en femme. "Sexy" is subjective - if you had just accurately described what you were wearing (or left that out entirely), you may not have received such judgement.
I do like to share thoughts with like-minded crossdressers, but I never seek the approval of others....... because I'll never get it.

[Micki_Finn]

I don’t think most people were trying to bash you in the thread, but just trying to warn you away from a potentially very awkward and embarrassing situation. I also don’t think that anyone thought that you were going to corner the maid or do anything inappropriate to her, they were saying that those may have been the maid’s fear because those things do happen to them and anything unusual in their daily routine could put their guard up.

[Teresa]

Jennifer,
The easiest solution was stay dressed and taken the laptop down to a lounge and continued to work, people would have looked and then passed you by. I now arrive early at the hotel, order a pot of tea and take it into a lounge area , I usually enjoy it while reading a local newspaper , guests and staff pass by many of them look but nothing dreadful happens .

Initially your thread did give the impression that you were doing it purely to shock the housekeeper , if you want to come out just be open and do it , most of the fears are in our heads, after a few times it feels perfectly natural .

[Aunt Kelly]

Given how the "scene" was originally presented, I would respond the same way today as I did then. What was depicted not cool.

Happily, that's not what was really going on and I am very thankful that Jennifer was thoughtful enough to come back and set things straight. In her shoes, I'm not sure that I would have.

Well done, Jennifer.

[Helen_Highwater]

Yep the importance of putting into words correctly your thoughts such that others fully understand your intentions. I saw this on Facebook;

The difference between helping your uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse. One capital letter and the entire meaning changes.

Jennifer,

I'm not having a dig at you but if folks are left thinking that something unsavory is possibly going to take place then it's right that they speak out. Not to do so should the worst actually happen would be to condone it and that's not something we as a community should ever do. Not only to protect others but also those within our community and let's face it, there are times when we all need saving from ourselves.

Thank you for the update and clarifying your thinking.

[Dana44]

I agree with Tracii we are not mind readers and we were just trying to help you not get embarrassed. But now that you posed more details. But in essence why not go to the Lobby and do some of your work en femme.

[Tracii G]

Dana I am one of the bad ones around here to agree with so you have been warned.
Jennifer like I said there was no way for us to know so my apologies.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Jennifer;

Good to see you back. Most people probably did'nt think you were going to corner her and expose yourself. Like you said it could have been worded better. Your being new to the form , most people would not know your intentions based on less then 50 posts.

This forum gets a fair number of people who pop on, make a couple of posts (some that would be considered questionable) then disappear.

Give the members here time to get to know you.

The one great thing about the members here , is that the majority of members are kind, thoughtful and offer a lot of truly great advice.

I've been called on the carpet before and in hind sight the members or moderators were right. The worst thing you can do is start a flame war because you don't like someones opinion.

As I recall it was a lively discussion.

Just give people time.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jenn:hugs:, Welcome back Just be careful of that Woodshed, That is where they keep the pitchforks, Tar & feathers.>Orchid...:daydreaming:...

[Jean 103]

I remember sort of , I'm sure I said it was a bad idea and still is. Don't harass the house keeping. Go out and harass the world.
I have been in the room when house keeping has cleaned the room. No big deal, I was waiting for my boyfriend . But really if you want to experience life you need to open the door and take that first step. Be warned once you do there is no turning back. But at least you will have your ansew .

[Sarah Doepner]

Darn it! I missed the original post and the chance to heap lots of meaningless words on you from a distance. Jenn, around here it's best to take both the advice and criticism with a large grain of salt. However, I congratulate you for following up and offering clarification. A lot of people would never even think of doing that, let alone actually setting fingers to the keyboard and hitting "send".

Clear and honest communication of our thoughts, feelings and actions is one of the most difficult things we do in life. There are so many issues that would never have occurred if everyone involved had been able to communicate better, so in that, as well as in dealing with crossdressing, you are not alone. Carry on!

[Krisi]

It's all too common on web forums for someone to make a post and leave out a lot of important details and then get mad when the responses aren't to their liking. It's best to think before starting a thread and then read what you wrote before clicking the "post" button. Tell the whole story in the original post and you'll get better responses. As Tracii said, we are not mind readers.

[BrendaPDX]

Ya, like I have never made a mistake! Take care, Brenda

[Jaylyn]

Jennifer I probably misread your intentions. Now that you've explained what you were going to do I can see that you were more or less just trying to be seen for the first time by someone other maybe than yourself in the mirror. I think we read more into posts sometimes than is written, my apologies if I answered in any negative way. I really don't remember what I said if I did.
I must say though that you are a very stunningly beautiful CDng girl, from just looking at your avatar. I've been around this hang out here for a while and hope you stay with us.

[Pat]

It can all come down to turn of phrase. "I'm hoping to get caught" conveys someone who is trying do drag a non-consensual party into their private scene. "I'm not going to run/hide" conveys someone who has reached a point where they're not going to give in to fear. Same actions, very different motivations. It appears you said one and meant the other.

[NicoleScott]

I Tell the whole story in the original post and you'll get better responses. As Tracii said, we are not mind readers.

I agree, tell your story clearly. But.....
Lacking intent and details, judgement should have been withheld. Responders shouldn't get a pass for posting negative comments because the OP's intent and details were vague. If you're not a mind reader, stop trying to read minds. There's nothing wrong with asking for more information before weighing in.

[Jaylyn]

Ok Jennifer I had to go back and retread what I posted on your thread..... It sucks getting old but so I take back my apology... Lol I didn't say anything negative about you. I did learn to look at a profile a see the posts a person makes never knew we could do that. I sat and was going back thru all the pages and dang there are a lot of them. I finally said to heck with it and clicked on your profile to send you a private message and there it is plain as day says persons post. Clicked it and ba, reread all the post. I can now see why some thought bad things, some gave alternatives like mine, and some were negative.
I now noticed you are a relative new member with few posts so don't think anything of this but don't let it stop you from enjoying this site. It's filled with a great bit of information on what we do. Enjoy this site, also seeing your from Texas and we Texas girls need to all be friends as we mostly all face the same concerns in our state. Don't be a stranger and jump in and enjoy the site.

[docrobbysherry]

Jennifer, there is an unavoidable "creep" factor to what some of us dressers do. So naturally, we may be defensive when someone does something we think mite appear extra creepy.

None of us wish to appear creepy. Except at Halloween! Bwa ha ha!:devil:

[Territx]

First, welcome back Jennifer. I am glad to see you on this site and think you will really enjoy the interactions here. The people are very intelligent and thoughtful, so their input is (usually) helpful. I have met several people in person here in Houston and they are just as kind in person.

Second, to everyone that responded to this and the original post, I have exchanged messages with Jennifer on a different website off and on over several years (unfortunately that has been mostly off lately). Anyway, I have never seen any indication that she had any bad intentions and so I think we must chalk this up to one of those instances when the posting method limits the exchange of information.

Jennifer, thanks for both coming back and clarifying -- I think it is to everyone's benefit.

Terri

[FrannGurl]

I hope you were not too put off by some of the comments made on your original post.
I'm still fairly new here myself, after being a lurker for a few years before I joined.
A few here are very outspoken, and don't sugar coat anything. Don't take it personal, they are just trying to make you see things in a different light. I had posted an experience of mine early on and while I didn't like the initial response from a few, I saw it differently after thinking about what they said and now appreciate it and think a lot of them for doing so.
I don't believe I commented on your original post, and I think many thought you were going to confront the housekeeper or flaunt yourself. As you cleared that up, simply working at your desk in the room wanting to be seen I guess wasn't a big deal after all.
I think the previous comments had to do with you having a captive audience and how you were going to act in front of the housekeeper.
I hope you will continue to stay on here and share your thoughts and experiences Hugs