Your Opinion

[deebra]

Of the many different individuals society sees at the malls, movies, restaurants dressed and presenting differently as described below where do you think the cross dressing male fits in?

1/ Gays, two men together and you can tell they are gay.
2/ Lesbians, two or more women together with male haircuts, no makeup and manly or definitely not female clothing.
3/ Young men/teenagers dressed with cornrow hair styles, ball caps turned sideways, pants below their buttocks with undies showing.
4/ Crossdresser in ankle booties, girl jeans, girl top and maybe small breasts or fully dressed and blending/passing as a woman.
5/ Sloppy dressed males or/and females.

[Dana44]

I think movies and dinner we should be dressed well. Malls not so much. i wear a skirt to a movie and am nicely dressed. And if we got out to diner after we are dressed well. Most people are dressed pretty badly but I have seen some females and males at a movie well dressed.

[nikkim83]

Not exactly sure of the question?

[Kelly DeWinter]

I'm not sure about the question either , but I'll go with at Payless Shoes for 600

[bootlover1978]

Totally confused with this question. How does the crossdressing male fit into the 5 categories as presented? I would think they would only fit into #4.

[Pat]

Are you asking people to rank the stereotypes you listed in some order other than the one you have? Or are you asking where the crossdresser is on the list you just made? (At #4 -- it says so.) Or what?

[jack-ie]

Mental masturbation!

[Nikki A.]

I don't understand either

[docrobbysherry]

Not that I agree with any of them, but, I pick #4 as the least likely to happen!:thumbsup:

I've seen 100's of T girls in person. I count the ones that can consistently pass up close on the fingers of both hands!:straightface:

[Teresa]

Deebra,
You do appear to stuck on stereotypes ! Do you actually go out dressed or are these questions posed as a prelude .

If they are the simple solution is go out and do it and see the reaction you get.

[Tracii G]

I have no idea what the point of the question is to be honest.
Best I don't ask I think.

[faltenrock]

I don't understand the question

[deebra]

I'll add some more to help clarify and I hope your answers aren't to slanted because we are crossdessers but along the lines of what the average person in the mall would think when they see people dressed as described. I've heard it many, many times before from members we don't know what another person thinks but you can get a feel or gage by looking at people what they might be thinking or how they feel about the subject so please don't try to rip this post apart negatively.

I was at a busy mall last week and saw catagories 1, 2, 3, and 5, I didn't see any #4 crossdressers; I was dressed as a guy. So many different appearing people but as I watched these people I did see 1,2,3,5 and no body seemed to notice or care but one or maybe two catagories I personally found their appearance to be not very nice. So put a nicely dressed crossdressers in with these folks wearing just a few items in guy mode or fully dressed I'm asking would CD's be judged or perceived better, the same or worst than the other catagories or others in the mall.

I might add that I have been to this mall wearing heeled boots, girl bootcut jeans over the boots and girl top under a jacket. I did notice a couple of guys noticed the heel on my boots but I was walking and nothing was said. But as I walk the mall I do wonder for those that notice I might be wearing girl clothes what do they think about it. With all of the many differently dressed people are crossdressers put in a different group of non-acceptance more so than say gays or lesbians???

Looking for some good answers, if this post gets your panties in a bunch then move on or if you think I'm stuck on stereotypes I'm not. I'm very, very secure and comfortable with being a crossdresser.

[Tracii G]

You have it on your list at #4.
Your next to last paragraph makes me wonder where you are going with this but how would you know which man was gay and which woman was a lesbian by what clothes they wear?
You do seem to be stuck on stereotypes because you assume all lesbians dress in a "butch" style or have their hair cut like a man for example.
Two men together and you know they are gay ??? Thats pretty much stereotyping isn't it?
I am trying to understand but you don't make it very easy sometimes.
Don't take it the wrong way please I'm just curious.

You only want good answers ? But you asked for opinions.

[Fiona123]

None of those choices. You seem to want to categorize cross-dressing as something wrong. As a trans woman I find your post offensive.

[SheriM]

I think that Deebra is asking if we are accepted more or less than other people who do not fit into the perceived norm. My feeling is that as time goes on, the negativity is softened and differences are first tolerated and then accepted a little more. I don't get the feeling that Deebra is judging or criticizing anyone. Different people do have different interests, likes and do present themselves differently - for different reasons.
For me - if it doesn't hurt anyone, go for it.

[Melissa Rose]

If I am understanding the question correctly, you are asking for rankings on public perception of the listed categories in order of wrongness or disdain.

I am not a mind reader so it would be speculation or assumption on my part of what the public is thinking and their beliefs (i.e., my perception of others perception) and working with the premise every person has the exact same opinion. The categories include components of sexual orientation, gender expression and general appearance. It is sort of an apples to oranges comparison and resorts to stereotypes and profiling. For these reasons, I do not think anyone can answer the question and have the response hold any substance or meaning.

Perhaps asking the question in a different manner would result in some actual responses instead confusion or criticism. Making it more open ended and not relying on categories containing loaded stereotypes may work better.

[Pat]

I've heard it many, many times before from members we don't know what another person thinks but you can get a feel or gage by looking at people what they might be thinking or how they feel about the subject so please don't try to rip this post apart negatively.


Since you stipulate that nobody knows what another person is thinking, you have to accept that your "gauge" of how they feel is really what you think they're thinking. In other words, it's basically a Rorschach test. You are assigning thoughts to them and those assignments are going to reflect your own thoughts and prejudices.

One thing we can know about others is how they behave. And since I'm regularly #4 on the list of mall-walkers I can tell you that I'm treated the same as all the other numbers. So if a person is jerk to me, they probably are being a jerk to everyone. If a person is kind to me, they are probably being kind to everyone. And if they're too busy in their own world to notice me, they're too busy to notice anyone.

[Robertacd]

What do you mean by "Where do you think the cross dressing male fits in?"

Are we supposed to place ourselves "above" one or more of these other groups, because we are better than them?

[Shelly Preston]

The cross dressing male fits in wherever they feel comfortable

There are so many variations here its impossible pick just one option & that includes all the options you have not mentioned.

Cross dressers who have no intention of blending.
Women who look very feminine but are still lesbian.

As many will tell you here when you try to label someone it does not work.

[Teresa]

Deebra,
I still don't get it, all the ideas are random thoughts , what one person notices someone else will walk past totally blind to it .

OK to put it another way, I was at my social meeting at our regular hotel, I went to the bar to order my pot of tea , there were various age groups having drinks and bar meals, some looked up and smiled , others gave a quick glance without any reaction, some were totally oblivious to me . To me that was hardly anymore reaction than if I'd gone to the bar in drab . I realised after a few minutes that more of my group were sitting behind me having drinks, but they weren't raising a great deal of attention, the only point I noticed was when I took my jacket off a few more people turned to look , I can't think why because I was wearing a long sleeved blouse with my knee length leather skirt.

Like I said go out dressed and witness the reactions for yourself , people really aren't as bothered as you expect .

[docrobbysherry]

Ha! I was the first one to guess "#4" as least likely! What do I win!?:D

----------------------------------I was at a busy mall last week and saw catagories 1, 2, 3, and 5, I didn't see any #4 crossdressers; I was dressed as a guy. So many different appearing people but as I watched these people I did see 1,2,3,5 and no body seemed to notice or care --------------------------------------------

[JoannaCD]

283506283507283508283509
Here are three different boots that I wear with women's skinny Jag jeans and a turtleneck. Which ones get noticed? The two pair with the 2'" heel. They are both men's. The low heel Chelsea boot are women's from Long Tall Sally and they nor the jeans and turtleneck are ever noticed. In fact I commonly also wear mascara and Ulta Spiced Cider Lipstick which isn't far from my lip color. why do I do it/ It makes me feel good. Incidentally the brown Florsheim Dukes are the same as Marco Rubio wore in NH when campaigning and which drew all the press attention283510283511

[deebra]

Traci G I will answer your questions.
The numbers in front of the catagories mean nothing, they do not rate the groups; it's just a numerical way to seperate the groups and be able to refer to each.
The three lesbians I observed had flattop and male haircuts, no makeup and male clothes. I have been to lesbian parties a lot more than once and I can spot a lesbian pretty easily or gay males just as a CD can spot another CD.

Fioni123, read my last sentence in thread #13, I am very comfortable and happy being a CD, your take that I think being a CD is wrong is 100% wrong. If I though it was wrong I wouldn't have dressed from the skin out this morning in fem to go shopping, among the things I looked at was panties, bras and women's outer clothing.

SheriM you got what I was saying, THANKYOU, most didn't.

It seems every time a thread is written the negative hawks want to tear it apart rather than view it as a means to help and educate new, medium and old members on his forum.

[Tracii G]

Deebra its not that we don't try to get the meaning in what you post its just the way you post it assuming we all think like you do and I think thats where the problem lies.
Its not that we are negative hawks we are just inquisitive and we question things.
Its nothing personal with you so please don't take it that way.
I can't count how many times my posts get picked apart I'm just used to it.
Oh and by the way that was Pat in post #6 that asked about the numerical position not me.
I did pick #4 in post #14 and that was one of your choices.
Oh and I had two lesbian neighbors living next door and both were exotic dancers and models so neither one fit your requirement of what a lesbian looks like because the were all girly girl.
If it were only me not quite getting your questions I could understand you being upset but its the majority of posters questioning what your point is.
Doesn't that make you think maybe the confusion was your wording and not that the rest of us are stupid.

[JenniferMBlack]

I think what Deebra is asking is are crossdressers less accepted then other poeple, and or are they looled at differently, and or are they accepted more or less then other "non" normals.?
The problem is if there is no reaction seen or heard and nothing good or bad comes of it, dose it mean you were accepted or not noticed? Also you can ask 1000 different poeple the same question and get 2000 different answers. Here is my take on it most poeple dont care if they even notice you. You will get some good and some bad reactions. The more you dress towards the norm for the situation and location the less poeple will notice. If you want to be seen we are florescent colors prance around. If you don't want to be seen then blend with what others are seen wearing at the venue.

[bootlover1978]

Now that there is a little better clarification to the question, I think I can answer it, at least to some degree. I personally think #4 doesnt really fit in, at least not in current society and I think I have a legitimate reason as to why. The other "categories" (I also think they are a bit generalizing and stereotypical) are much more accepted in modern society because of one main thing... exposure. Deebra said it perfectly, she was in a crowded mall and didnt see a single crossdresser, but saw some form of every other persona listed. The more often the general public is exposed to a certain thing, the better it is accepted. I think most of us here are old enough to be able to think back 20 years ago. How many openly gay men do you remember seeing on television? Ok, how about openly gay men that were overly feminine in their mannerisms? With that in mind, think about how much the general public are now exposed to things they may have never had contact with. I personally think in the next 20 years (and that might be too long of an estimate) crossdressing will become much more mainstream and accepted as part of the normality of modern society.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Debra;

There were only one or two posts that could be considered negative. The majority did not understand your OP. No reason to take offense. Truthfully I still don't understand the OP even with clarification.

One part of your post regarding being able to spot lesbians. The mythical gaydar is just that, a myth.