Observing the Genders

[Becky Blue]

I had to go interstate last week travelling on my own. After unfortunately landing up in a middle seat on the way squashed for 90 minutes between a young man and woman, it was fascinating to see the differences between them. As a result of this I decided to change from observing women as I do, to focusing on the men.. and geez there are some prize A.......s out there, let me explain...

I took my seat last to find the 'gentleman' on the window seat had taken full control of our common arm rest, with his elbow a good bit into my space. Not enough for him he also had to sit with his legs so far open that his knee was well into my space. This was not a 6'4" giant let me tell you, he was quite a bit smaller than me. Being an experienced traveller, I was able to jiggle around and kick his knee and bash his elbow quite hard to get him to move up. Naturally this fine specimen of Alpha 'malehood' kept moving back into my space. Now compare him to the nice young lady sitting on the isle who carefully placed her elbow on our common armrest leaving more than enough space for me too.

Over the course of the rest of my trip I observed numerous examples of males behaving in what i would call male entitlement. From the guy who wouldn't end his phone call after being told 3 or 4 times by cabin attendants, to the guy who decided to plug in his earphones while deplaning blocking the exit for 100 people while he untangled the wires. I could go on and on, I almost asked a guy to show me his ownership of the sidewalk certificate as clearly one one else was allowed to walk past or near him. Now of course i observed many many guys being perfectly nice and respectful and 'normal' but what is it with these Alpha males that have to strut around or sit with there legs wide open. Perhaps having dressed and gone out as a woman has made me far more aware of male behaviours. But at no time on my trip did I see any woman doing anything that impacted on anyone else around them.

[Sarasometimes]

I once had a very good CD transformation women tell me while she was teaching me deportment/comportment that women pass through spaces, alpha men possess them! Would you say you male neighbor was akin to a male dog, marking his territory, so to speak?

[DIANEF]

I've come across some extremely obnoxious and bad mannered women in my time, though the same type of male seems to be a fair bit more common.

[Jodie_Lynn]

The man sitting next to you, and the other bad male examples given are NOT alpha males! They are, actually, just examples of rude, thoughtless, self-centered people. And yes, that descriptor often does apply to the female model of the genus homo sapiens sapiens! The reasons that they can get away with these behaviours is that most people do not want to get into an altercation with an idiot.
People fall into various categories from the selfless to the selfish in both genders.
And that "alpha male" malarkey? A true alpha male animal of ANY species doesn't have to act like an ash to show others who is top dog, they display by their posture and attitude towards other members of the species.

[Shely]

one reason i hate to fly anywhere. it isn't so much the people, but the spaces that the airlines have created to herd people into smaller and smaller spaces so they can make higher and higher profits. But the guy was an ASS!

[Sheila11]

Not sure the two guys were Alpha. Sounds more like they were just self possessed.
The nicest people are the ones that are present in the situation and looking to the needs and benefit of others.

[Gillian Gigs]

If by saying they were alpha males, you mean to say they were pigs, then they maybe were alpha males! Jack A$$e$ know no race, religion, colour, or creed, they are found everywhere. Self absorbed, self centered, and selfish, is also found in every aspect of life! The problem is that their parents didn't do a good job of raising them. They turned on the TV, or gave them money to get them out of their face. Problem is that people see bad manners, but tend to not notice good manners, which is good advice for a CD'er, show good manners and go unnoticed!

[Tracii G]

Male entitlement?
What is that anyway?
You could say pretty women use their female entitlement couldn't you?
I really dislike being around some women these days because they are rude bitches sorry but they are.

[Teresa]

Becky,
These men were probably brought up as precious little boys , they should know better but don't .

I know you can see this sort of thing all the time but in a confined space like a plane it's all too obvious and at times so annoying. I must admit I try not to take anyone's space, possibly because I'm thinking in female mode most of the time .

Diane, is right there are some women who leave a lot to be desired , as far as flying is concerned many of them are anxious about it and that comes out in their behaviour .

[ellbee]

Guess what? There are also plenty of examples of females behaving in what I would call "female entitlement," regardless of their level of physical attractiveness. You know, stuff that negatively impacts others around them -- including men.

But I'll bite my tongue here, as I don't necessarily view this forum as an appropriate place for gender-bashing. :)

[Robertacd]

I took my seat last to find the 'gentleman' on the window seat had taken full control of our common arm rest, with his elbow a good bit into my space. Not enough for him he also had to sit with his legs so far open that his knee was well into my space.

They call that "Manspreading (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manspreading)" and "She-bagging" when a woman does basically the same thing with her purse.

[Jean 103]

As they say how you treat others speaks volumes. My ex-wife would do things that would make me cringe. I would tell her to stop it, she would say something basically saying she feels she is entitled. Then there is this group of four tournament level A-h___ pool players that have invaded my bar. I'll detail it in a new thread.

[Krisi]

It sounds like you didn't enjoy your trip and focused on the bad and not the good. If you look for negative things in life, you will surely find them. Next time, try to focus on the positive.

[Pat]

I guess I'd call it selfishness. There are people who are selfish and people who think of others. It varies by degree and either can be overdone. I don't believe selfishness is an inherently male trait, but I do think our Western culture encourages it more in males than in females. Overall I think it's good that we're becoming more sensitive to it, though I'm sorry, Becky, that it caused problems on your trip.

[Micki_Finn]

I don’t know that any of this has anything to do with gender or “alphas” or anything like that. It’s just a lack of manners and courtesy and it’s everywhere.

[nikkim83]

A Jerk is a jerk no matter what they look like.

[Helen_Highwater]

But at no time on my trip did I see any woman doing anything that impacted on anyone else around them. One of my pet peeves is when 2 GG's are walking along in a busy mall and then suddenly stop dead to talk, one seemingly in total shock over something the other had said.

As for the phone thing. That's more generational than gender specific. The young(er) generation are welded to their phones. It is their world. Nothing else matters other than that little device. My evidence?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADOPimz3d6w

And as others have said, the space hogger, that's just plain old selfish bad manners.

[Beverley Sims]

And when you got to Adelaide you had to dodge all the bad drivers that inhabit the state.

Flown around the world a few times and I was upgraded on a flight from O'Hare to Heathrow because of a woman that wanted to intimidate me on a previous trip on a similar flight.

People do spread out to gain more space, I used to like seats 71a and 71c on a 747, this was where the seats tapered off at the back of the plane.

Nowdays with a dreamliner they give you 2cm more leg room.

Whacko!

[carhill2mn]

Your observations and experience are some of the reasons why I choose to emulate women. However, unfortunately, not all women are "lovely" either.

[Kayliedaskope]

Had a guy do his "manspreading" thing to me on a flight, also got the elbow thing on another flight. The first guy very quickly moved his knee out of the way when I "accidentally" bashed it with a hard case clamshell, the second somehow managed to get his arm trapped on my side of the armrest with my full weight coming down on it as I went to sit down. Both times I was in male mode, but wearing women's jeans and t-shirts.

[Becky Blue]

Of course there are good people of all genders, and that all genders also have their share of A.......s. I am also pretty sure that most of the guys I witnessed are probably really nice guys too. But their awareness of people around them and their sense of entitlement was very noticeable.

Thanks for the 'life lesson' Kristi FYI I had a great trip and enjoyed it tremendously but thanks for your concern.

A girl after my own heart Kaylie..

[redtea]

Reminds me of that idiotic buzzfeed video where feminist are mad at men for "manspreading". When men sit with their legs spread apart because it's just their default sitting style.

Now I make a conscience effort to sit with my legs spread apart knowing that it's offensive to feminist, Course i'm still courteous of people who sit next to me, But that buzzfeed video had it out for men sitting that way by themselves.

[sometimes_miss]

They weren't alpha males. Alpha males fly first class. The jerks that you saw, were posers, basically just bullies who enjoy intimidating others, behaving in ways that they thought would make other people THINK that they were alpha males. In the presence of a true alpha, they would be put in their place.

[Sarah Doepner]

They weren't alpha males. Alpha males fly first class. The jerks that you saw, were posers, basically just bullies who enjoy intimidating others, behaving in ways that they thought would make other people THINK that they were alpha males. In the presence of a true alpha, they would be put in their place.

Lexi put her finger on the point I was about to make. These guys want to be Alpha, but when a real Alpha male shows up they roll over on the their backs in submission. And yes, there are women who are self-possessed and self-entitled who make life miserable for others as well. In fact I'm related to one who I would never have as a friend if she weren't part of the family.
Air travel often puts us in places and situations where we can't choose our company and are unable to walk away from irritating neighbors and that's one of the reasons I tend to drive rather than fly anywhere these days.

[Sherrii]

I too wouldn't call that alpha behavior. That is just being an A H. While there are many good men out there I think it would be difficult to find one if I was a female looking for one. It seems I meet a lot more woman who seem like they are reasonable folks than men.