Age and Dressing...

[Lacy PJs]

As I read through the various posts here, I see that from time to time, people will drop their age. And... that age usually seems to be on the "upper side" of what one might consider half way through their life. It's dangerous, but I got to thinking and wondering why this is.

I'm at the age where I'll soon be getting some money from Uncle Sam for all of my hard years of time spent in the workforce and my occasional dressing seems to be less and less of a big deal to me. I wonder if that's because as I've aged, I've become more comfortable with it and accepting of my unusual habit OR if it's because the older I get, the less I really care about others' opinions. One thing is for sure... since I'm retired, I no longer worry about what such a revelation might do to my career; I'm sure that's a factor as well.

So to the rest of you... have you become more open with your dressing through the years and why do you think that is? AND... are younger people concerned about others, not ready to accept themselves yet or why is it that part of the dressing population seems to be under-represented here?

Lacy PJs

[Bella.CD]

I have wondered similar wonderings. I am 37 myself and only have two on my friends list that I know of that are younger than me. I have read in another posting about the Millenial generation being more accepting, maybe more acceptance leads to less of a need to come here. That is sad because I seem to be making like minded, not only just accepting friends quickly on here. The Millens are missing out.

[Charlotte7]

Interesting questions. I started dressing in the late 1960s, yes it was that long ago and yes I sort of fit into the (lower) cohort that you describe. When I was young, the last thing I wanted was to be discovered, because I had a fear that this thing that I enjoyed so much would be taken away from me. Also, as you'll know society was very different back then, far less accepting of difference. However, there have been changes over the years. I am now at the point in life where I do care less about what people think of CDing (and tolerance is increasing) and the damage that any revelation can bring in my case would be much less and shorter lasting, than earlier in life. I can appreciate that there will be younger girls out there, who, if they were outed could suffer life changing consequences to their careers and the like. The other thing that has happened over the years is that TG issues have become more mainstream. We're not at the point of total acceptance yet, or anywhere near to that, but TG issues feature on the news programmes and in the newspapers. CDing is talked about these days. So, that too gives me less cause to care, but also a willingness to be (slightly at first) more open about all of this, and to hopefully help push open the door for those following on behind.

[NancySue]

In the last 10 years, I’ve definitely been more open and accepting. For me, over the years, it’s been a stair step progression. When I reached the stage of dressing completely, establishing my wardrobe, makeup, etc. With my wife’s acceptance and support, I think I’m about as good as it gets. She thinks I’m passable which, deep down, I believe, has always been my goal. My sense is there are a lot more of us, at all ages, than statistics indicate. I don’t think the younger cders have any, or few, doubts....they do what they want, depending on how they feel, i.e. the m-f transgenders. It seems to me, CDing would be a large part of their agenda. As I get older, my attitude of “who cares?” Is taking over. You only go around once.

[Elizabeth G]

I'm firmly in the past midlife category and I too have noticed that I am less concerned about my dressing than I was when younger. I certainly am less worried about what others think. At this point the only reason I'm not out to family and friends is because I don't want to put my wife through that trouble. It was hard enough on her when she found out about my dressing so she doesn't need the added stress of me letting everyone else know.

[Dana44]

I think retirement has liberated us to be who we really are. I find it far less trouble to be out and about. As we are older women. But some have old me I look in my forties. But I love to be out and about.

[Zoeytgtx]

I think a lot of things are in play here. Kids may be out of the house and a lesser need to be closeted. As we get older we probably have more disposable income to build a decent wardrobe. As we age the male and female facial features start to get closer to one another, so,we may actually blend a bit better in public. And lastly, as we age less of the public pays attention to middle aged or older women who are out there. I'm semi-retired now, but GG's tell me I can pass for mid forties

[Taylor186]

I agree with pretty much all the reasons above. I will add that it took me until middle life to accept that I am a CD even when the desire to dress diminishes for long periods of time. There were times in my 20s and 30s when I had a heavy desire to dress and then for no reason whatsoever I had periods where I had no desire to dress. Back then, when the desire stopped, I thought the crossdressing chapter of my life was over. It took me to my 40s (and the internet) to understand it is never over, at least for me.

[Sarah Doepner]

I'm in the Medicare crowd now and have been retired for quite a few years. My career was in law enforcement where I had a civilian professional/technical support position. It wasn't a situation that would have been improved by revealing I was crossdressing on a regular basis. When that ended I felt a lot of emotional relief over my dressing and did it much more often, particularly since my wife was approving. Sense then there has been a large swing in public awareness and small improvement in acceptance of the Trans+ community, despite the recent turn on the part of the current administration. I've had the time and resources to do some counseling, go to support group meetings and come out to my adult children. So yes, I dress more often and fear less. The only thing that keeps me from dressing much more is respecting the wishes of my son who is living with me along with his children. His girls had been in a troubled home before he got them about a year ago and having to deal with a Trans Grandparent might just confound their world. There is maybe another 6 months or so and he will be back on his own and so will I at that point. I have a lot less to lose and much less to fear, so I'm ready to dress more.

[Pat]

We do seem to attract an older crowd on this site, but I've seen folks post from every decade of life from 20's forward. Older folks do seem to post more. I certainly have become more open over time, but that sort of mirrors the culture -- if I came out in the 1950's it probably wouldn't have gone well. These days there are cases of kids getting support from the single-digit ages onward, so time will tell how that changes things.

My experience with younger people is they seem uniformly more accepting on the whole but life experience tells me it's going to vary by individual.

[Alice B]

I did not start dressing until in my 60's. All my extended family knows and everyone is younger than I am. I dress less than I used to do, but due to injuries. I do not go out as often. But, I dress at home more so I would call it a toss up

[Rachael Leigh]

Yes I do think the older I got I did not care much how people perceived me and then again I also decided to begin to transition so I may not be a good guage on this topic

[Cherylgyno]

Neither more open or closeted. Those whose opinion that I value have always known.

[AngieStone]

Yes getting older and feeling more comfortable about who I am. I am still working and until the day I retire there will always be some concerns.

[Gillian Gigs]

I'm retired and have had more time to do many things that I didn't have time for 6 months ago. I have more time to dress as I please, if I don't need to go anywhere, then I'm more prone to dress up for the day. It is nice to get dressed for the day, none of this couple of hours bull crap. I am on this site daily and while I was working, it was maybe twice a week. I also have time to post thoughts like I am doing now.

[Jaylyn]

I agree there seems to be an influx of the seniors on here. I'm not one yet ( I'm 68 soon to be 69 ) I just don't think I'm old though yet. In good health and retired somewhat except for my hobbies that eat up a lot of retirement time. I've been dressing off and on since I was a small young lad. I've always loved the feel of the smooth clothes and being older I really love a a smooth material. I can't come out though as I have ten grandkids I don't want them to know that the grandpa think of s the coolest is a CD. I also promised my wife I wouldn't around my kids. I really just do my thing and could care less who knows but living in a small west Texas town I just don't see any value of dressing in public. I've thought it would be exciting to go out with other dressers in a larger safer town. I've come to accept that might never happen.
I also think your 100% correct by the time the young generation gets our age there may not be a reason for this site as every one month gut already be accepted and dressing might be just an ordinary occurance.

[RADER]

Now that I have retired, I have more time to dress. There where many years,
like from my 30's to mid 40's, that I hardly dressed at all.
Now I under dress every day, and when home alone, I dress all the way.
I guess that being 70, I can do what I want to do.
rader

[Rayleen]

Being a senior sure give more freedom to CD, when raising a family, did not have much time for it. And in the 60s, it was not accepted as now. I find that in general, society is more tolerant and open to any lifestyle . Everyone choose its way and are more individualist in their behavior.

[bootlover1978]

I agree with pretty much all the reasons above. I will add that it took me until middle life to accept that I am a CD even if the desire to dress diminishes for long periods of time. There were times in my 20s and 30s when I had a heavy desire to dress and then for no reason whatsoever I had no desire to dress. Back then, when the desire stopped, I thought the crossdressing chapter of my life was over. It took me to my 40s (and the internet) to understand it is never over, at least for me.

Im sort of the same way, though I havent quite touched the 40's yet. Im actually experiencing some down time from dressing right now. I really just havent had the drive or desire to dress up at all. I've been thinking about it a little more since I joined here, but still really havent "wanted" to do it.

[Micki_Finn]

I wonder how much of it is a generational issue. The kids today are growing up with less of the kind of stigma the older crowd faces, so perhaps they just don’t feel the NEED to come to a site like this. Maybe they get enough love and support from their friends and family so anonymous support just isn’t as much of a thing. It could also be specific to the concept of an Internet forum itself. These kids have Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and Snapchat and Reddit now. I don’t even know if the younger crowd knows what an Internet forum is.

[Nikki A.]

I think there are a few factors mentioned here that influences the age band. It's true that at a certain point in life (near retirement or later) there is no more pressure of worrying about our career or professional reputation. Also our kids are grown and we have more freedom and the time to spend doing what we do.
On the other hand we have the young members who are out in a whole different generation which seems to be more open to individual expression. But they may not be on this board because they don't need the support from us since they find support from different venues.
I still think it is the middle ages that have the hardest time. They still have to worry about their careers, their families, children etc. They may come on here but some only as guests, fearing that they may be outed.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Lacy :hugs:, My third 25th is 5weeks away, I like to think that I am 3/4 of the way there in my journey.

I dress every morning for 3 to4 hours and a couple hours a couple Evening a week,
Dressing is so much a part of my life I like to feel that I have the best of both worlds.

We have a very workable DA/DT I stay with in my boundaries and life is fantastic .>Orchid...:daydreaming:...

[Ally 2112]

I have been doing this for almost 40 years and still not 55

[AlissaMurray]

I am 52 and my kids are long since out of the house. I dress as I please at home with the blessing of my wife. I also currently have 3 pairs of women's jeans currently in rotation that I wear to work, I also wear silky women's t-shirts most days under my work shirt and they are quite visible. No one has ever said a word. I rehearsed this come back for the question (aren't those women's clothes? ANSWER actually they are my clothes thank you.) But no one has ever said a word. Just food for thought... I think we build things up worse in our heads than what the reality ends up being.

[TracyUK]

I am 62 and as I have aged, the urge to dress has grown stronger. Right now it's in my thoughts most of the time
and the main subject of my dreams most nights. Unfortunately this happens at a time when I have very little
opportunity to dress due to family circumstances leaving me so little time and it's getting desperate, I long for the
time with the house to myself so Tracy can come out.

Hugs

Tracy

[Karmen]

I am in my early 40s and older I am, more I want to dress. Nowadays I wear male clothes only for work and when I go out during the day or with friends, since I'm single and live alone. I'm still in the closet and likely will stay like that, except if I get caught and word gets around. But my occasional night walks in the other part of town become throughout last few years much more frequent and I underdress all the time now, even for work and going out with friends.
I even underdressed last time I went on a date too. I tough if she decide to invite me home and undress me on a first date, she is probably enough open minded she might accept crossdressing. If she won't, at least I won't waste extra time on her to find out much latter she hates this. Five years ago this kind of behaviour would be unthinkable for me.

[Stephanie47]

I've been retired a full nine years, almost ten. Yes, there is no worry about the effect of any disclosure on employment. Until my wife's recent surgery followed by cancer treatment she was still working while I was the 'house husband en femme.' With her being home it has cut down on opportunities to dress. That is a downside of both spouses being retired in a DADT marriage. My opportunities have gone from five days a week for seven hours to an occasional day or half day when she does work. Summers have always been out since she is a teacher. There are many threads on this site of discord between the spouses while still working. You need to foresee the time when each spouse will be home 24/7. There may be less concern about revealing to others, but, it does not necessarily mean unbridled opportunities. Although the time to be en femme has decreased I haven't been climbing the walls. I attribute that to the fact my wife and I are in a true DADT marriage. She does not give any hints or reminders that she is not appreciative of my dressing desires. No barbs. No snide remarks. Really no discord. If she were to act like some wives I read about on this forum, I think I'd go nuts. I cannot stand any kind of nagging.

[CarlaWestin]

Well, my dressing started as curiosity as a pre-pubescent teen. The youngest of five raised with sisters and witnessing my mom scurrying around in fabulous foundations, hosiery and makeup as she got ready for work in the morning. Her bras and stocking just called for me from the drawer. Then the mystical time of discovering girls, dating and women in general lent itself to a shortcut of just being the perfect buxom woman of my desires. As I went through the usual life wringer, feminizing was a fabulous escape and a special activity that just one upped everything else. And I noticed guys around me worrying about their testosterone levels lowering as they aged. Not a worry with me. So now at near 62, I'd love to have male dressing be something I did only occasionally. The way I see it, it's just a natural progression that society seems to be at odds with.

[Teresa]

Lacy,
Although my Cding started at 8-9 years old, it's now that I'm in my mid sixties that all the circumstances have come together so I can accept it. I've only been going out dressed for two years but in that time a whole new World has opened up. Unfortunately I now have to accept that 43 years of marriage is about to end because I need my freedom to dress as I choose .

Age is double edged, some days it's too easy to say I'm getting too old for all this, gladly most of the time I feel young enough to enjoy all the aspects of it .

[Susan Smokes]

I feel I have become more open, even though I still have one foot in the closet. I think age plays a factor for me, because, I was 51 before I started dressing, and began getting in touch with my true self. It has been almost 2 years since Susan was born, and I am glad I found Her, but like many on here have said, until I retire, and have the freedom that comes with it, there will be a part of Susan that will stay in the shadows. As for the younger generation, I will just wish them the best, and hope society is more accepting when they reach my age.

[Hannahhot]

For me. It's been something I've always enjoyed, but never really been serious about. Still, wouldn't say I am serious about it. That being said, I have noticed older members. I am, how do I say, a little more than half way to getting my money back from the government (if it still exists then). lol

In terms of being more open or anything (in my generation), I guess it is a possibility. But, I don't think I'll ever test the waters with my life. I'd accept others, no problem though.

[sarah_hillcrest]

At 38 I feel like a kid here. LOL. But in all honestly I've always enjoyed the friendship of people older than me.

I'm going to throw out a reason I don't think has been mentioned.

Young people today don't use the same internet that I learned to use in 1999. They gravitate to mobile centric resources designed around modern social media. If they visit a forum it's most like a very specific forum for only a handful of hardcore users. They seem to form super "niche" groups that orbit around a specific Pop cultural icon.

I also think young TG people are more concerned with "feels" and less about appearance and presentation. I also think that their age group has grown up with Trans issues being mainstream and therefore see far less stigma then those of us in the earlier generations. I know that when I first came to understand the difference between TG and TS I felt like someone had turned on the light in the basement of my brain.

[sometimes_miss]

I don’t think the younger cders have any, or few, doubts....they do what they want, depending on how they feel, i.e. the m-f transgenders.
If that were true, you'd see far more of them out there. Even us older ones number about one in forty, and that's the ones who will admit to doing it. If millenials were really so care free about it, we'd see a whole lot more of them crossdressing. I don't think we're to the point yet where it's not still considered a turn off to most women. That's probably the biggest issue; it's hard enough to get a date, much less go and intentionally eliminate 99% of the potential mates.

[Viggy]

Now I'm 60 years old, and I think one reason is, when we are older, we don't need to prove any more that we are male.

Men are growing up in a prison of male rules and behaviors we have to satisfy to be real male. Female can wear trousers, short hair, shoes looking like mens, but they are always female, naturally, nobody doubts. If men like attributes, colors, hobbies, clothes that are dedicated to female, they are gay or no longer a proper guy. Growing up we don't know about our prison, because it's our world, like the fish in the little glass.
But when we are older, maybe having children, we no longer don't need to prove to ourselves the we are male. It's easier to accept the role in our bodies, that isn't new, but no longer suppressed. And of course we have internet now, and learn that we are not alone, their are many others in the same situation.

Well, it's good for us old guys, but hard for our wifes. My wife was married for over 30 years with a guy who was a guy. Maybe I never was a macho, but even for myself I didn't know about the little women in me, till before 3 years.

[BrendaPDX]

I think this site is less dramatic, has less drama, and more careful of content. I like it because I have outgrown the porn end of things, and enjoy well thought out postings. Younger people are just a likely to CD and TG, they just have more colorful sites (I am guessing). Yes I am in the later half of my life too. Brenda

[Sabrina.K]

I'm about to turn 37 and I'm starting to lose my cute youthful looks :(

Even though I dress for fun, and not to pass, it still bothers me that I'll not look as good anymore. Putting me off doing it anymore.

[leotard fan]

46 of live and about 43 of CD!

[7ftEmily]

I suppose I can answer from the bottom of the spectrum haha. I’m 24yo, been dressing since I was roughly 8 and been openly dressing mornings and with the SO for about 6 months or so. I don’t think she has the answer to whether you get comfortable or more accepting. I think it’s more of an internal realization. I never thought I’d be able to dress outside my own home until about 4 months ago when I decided to go out before the sun decided to shine. I stopped at a gas station and filled up my tank and grabbed a coffee. There just seems to be a point you hit where you say “enough is enough” and quit hiding yourself. Similar to behaviors hidden from friends/co-workers. You get tired or stressed from always hiding it and decide one day that it’s time for Emily ( or in your case Lacy ) to make an appearance in the outside world.

Emily

[kimdl93]

I’ve certainly changed, becoming more tolerant of myself and others. It seems society has as well.

[Dena]

I'm 56, started when I was 10. My dressing peaked in my 30's, when I ventured out in public dressed up. I got tired of fighting my body hair, and now rarely dress completely.

[Stephanie43]

I started around age five. I’m in my early forties now. Have been CD’ing pretty much that entire time. Wearing mom’s clothes progressed to her heels, then experimenting with her makeup. For me now it’s all those things including a wig. My wife says I can’t go out of the house like that tho, which is fine by me.

[lingerieLiz]

I think a lot is financial independence. I reached it while relative young, but continued to work. It did mean that I didn't have to worry about my job. When your customer needs you more than you need them it is amazing about your liberation. I no longer accept work requests. Life is fun.

[Jaymees22]

I dressed the first time at age 7, then at 17 then took a long break until I was 67. I think after I retired and my wife was still working, I had a lot of time on my hands so what else could I possibly do but put on a dress! I think the forum format probably appeals more to us older girls.