Something about me

[Sometimes Steffi]

I have so many friends here, and I have something I need to talk out. Nope, not coming out to my wife, or anything related to crossdressing.

I have Heart Surgery coming up on Thursday. It's not terribly risky, as heart surgery goes, but it is heart surgery.

The chance of death is 3 to 5 percent. It really makes getting caught by my wife, going out and about all dressed to the nines, flying pretty or shopping in the female section of the store pale in comparison. So, I'd like to encourage all of you to take the next step. You can never tell when you'll get hit by a bus, or need heart surgery. You don't want to die leaving too many things on the bucket list.

I think in a guy's world, the success criteria is, "Whoever has the most toys when he dies wins."

In our alternate reality, I think the the success criteria is more like. "Make sure you have a chance to experience the real you."

So, get out there and do it.

And for those who believe in a higher power, please pray for me.

My surgery is scheduled for Thursday morning. I'm convinced this is the right thing to do for me at the right time, so please keep your messages positive. Love you all.

For you medical types, I have a mitral valve prolapse with moderate to severe regurgitation. I am having a less invasive surgery using a Mitra Clip (https://mitraclip.com/).

[CallieBelle]

Very inspirational message. Wishing you the greatest success in surgery and a return to well-being.

[Linda P.]

Steffi, you're going to do just great and come out of surgery better than ever. With the positive thoughts and prayers of all of us with you. And thank you for the great advice about never knowing how much time you have, "So get out there and do it."
Best wishes for a successful surgery, recovery, and many more years to "do it"

[IleneD]

Bless you, Steffi,
You have been a great "friend" and member on this board. Love you and love what you have always offered.
Of course, you're not going anywhere, especially away. You will get through this. A mitral valve replacement is a piece of cake.

I will be offering up prayers for your well-being, health and quick recovery. I am one who prays on her knees sincerely, and I can't recall when I've been disappointed in a prayer.
Be well. Be Steffi.
Let us know when you're OK and back on your feet [heels not required].

[Jayne44C]

Thank you for sharing your story and thoughts. Good luck with your procedure Steffi!

[Rachael Leigh]

Pray it all goes well for you Steph.

[Samantha981]

Hope all goes well, Steffi, I'll say a few prayers.
Samantha

[Becky Blue]

You make a very good point Steffi, best of luck with your Op and know that many of us on here will be hoping all goes ok and that you are part of the 95%... look forward to hearing you are ok soon!!!

[DIANEF]

Wishing you all the very best Steffi and a speedy recovery from your surgery.

[Allison Chaynes]

Steffi, a few of us have been through heart surgery. I wish you the best, and if you need any advice, ask away. I hope you have family that are ready to help your recovery. Just be calm, try to be at peace religion wise or whatever you do, and be as ready as you can for the unexpected.

[Robyn16]

Steffi, you are in my prayers , I am sure that everything will be just fine

[AllieSF]

Wishing you a successful surgery, a quick and painless recovery and thanks for your message. I have totally accepted this side of me very easily and quickly because I had my prostrate removed before I ever started dressing in 2005. I didn't think about it at the time, but that same thought crossed my mind many times after I started dressing. Have the correct priorities and remember that tomorrow,if you get there, is the first day in the rest of your life!

[bridget thronton]

You will be in my prayers this week

[Teresa]

Steffi
I hope it all goes well for you , I hope in the coming out process you've asked for a pink surgical gown !

I agree with you life may be shorter than you think , my father died at 53 through excessive smoking and drinking , I learned a big lesson , from that, those habits will only shorten your life in excess , CDing won't !

I guess I also learned to " Go for it " , being a self employed photographer the ideas and challenges were there , ignoring them didn't put money in the bank .

[Persephone]

Your message is right on. I was always very healthy, never any serious problems until this April when they found my lung cancer. Right now every day is a gift.
Best wishes for a speedy recovery. You will be in our thoughts and our prayers.
Barbara.

[ellbee]

Steffi, I don't necessarily agree that according to "...a guy's world, the success criteria is, 'Whoever has the most toys when he dies wins.'"

Perhaps with *some* men, sure. But the same can also be said about some GG's, too. Really depends on a particular segment of the population.


Furthermore, I've seen that as a guy ages, while he may perhaps think the above is somewhat true when younger, something changes in him as he becomes older -- and wiser. :)



Anyway, I totally agree with you re: getting out there & doing it. If you want to/need to, then you just have to. No regrets.

And that not only goes for the whole dressing/gender thing, but also with anything & *everything* in life, really. :thumbsup:



I'm sure we all wish you a speedy recovery.


Namaste! :meditate:

[MsKim2888]

Wish you all the best on your surgery. Good Luck and God Bless.

[grace7777]

Steffi, I am praying that your surgery will go well and that you have a speedy recovery.

[marshalynn]

Steffi - I am saying a pray for you also. Marshalynn

[Jen60]

Steffi, I hope all goes well on Thursday! I will be thinking of you!

[Vikky]

Hi Steffi
I agree with a lot of what you say – it’s in my signature below. I had major heart surgery 10 years ago and it was one of the best things to happen to me as it improved my life no end. It also brought the bucket list into focus and I have never looked back.
Will be thinking of you on Thursday.
Vikky

[Jean 103]

Steffi, I wish you the best and pray that everything goes well. As far as living life, you can chase your dreams or live them. It's pretty much up to you. There is no guarantee life will go as planned. You just have to go for it and hope for the best.

[Beverley Sims]

Steffi,
Throughout life we have to take a chance on things, I think a 5 percent chance of death to prolong your life is better than not taking that chance at all.

Good luck with the surgery and it sounds less risky than driving on the open road. :-)

[Pat]

Good luck! Valve replacement? How hard can it be? I think they sell home kits for that now. ;)

Looking forward to hearing you're fine.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Thanks for all your thoughts. I'll post again after I get out of the hospital.

[Sheren Kelly]

Steffi, I wish you a successful surgery and a quick recovery!

As I have gotten older, I realized the same things as you noted above. Life is a one-time gift and we have the right to pursue our happiness in it.

[BrendaPDX]

Wishing you nothing but the best! Thanks for putting things in our lives in perspective, it is so easy to lose our direction and not give the important little things in life the time they deserve. Praying for you, Brenda

[Kayliedaskope]

... I think in a guy's world, the success criteria is, "Whoever has the most toys when he dies wins."

Actually, it's more like "He who dies with the most toys still dies." You can't take it with you.



Because I've often heard laughter is the best medicine, I remembered this joke from a while back, and thought for the situation, it was appropriate.

A mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop.

The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the garage.

"Hey, Doc, want to take a look at this?"

The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I make $39,675 a year and you get the really big bucks ($1,695,759) when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The cardiologist paused, smiled and leaned over, then whispered to the mechanic.....

"Try doing it with the engine running."

:p




Steffi, our thoughts and prayers will be with you tomorrow before, during, and after your surgery, with many well wishes and get well soon's headed your way.

[KC Samanatha]

Steadily, so true on what you say. Love life fully and without guilt with regards to crossdressing! After watching one parent ,a step parent, and a good friend pass away. Life is short and a lot of us are 1/2 way thru!
Good luck and hope all goes well!

[Heather J]

God Bless and good luck.

[Abbey11]

I hope all goes very well for you x

[DMichele]

Steffi,
Thanks for the inspiring message; and you are in my prayers.

[Dana44]

Besss you Streffi, I hope you get well and hope your surgery goes well. My Dad had to have his main one done. It was hard on him. Take care and tell us how it went.

[Teri Ray]

Best wishes for a quick recovery from surgery. Positive thoughts only. I would bet you are back in panties in no time.

[Alice Torn]

Hoping the surgery is very successful.

[Nikki A.]

Best of luck on the surgery. And you're right about being the true you

[S. Lisa Smith]

Good luck!!!! See you in DC once you have healed!!!

[Sometimes Steffi]

Thanks again for all of your inspiring thoughts and well wishes.

But, it turns out that there was a little glitch that turned up tonight, just before I began the final prep steps.

The (medical) insurance company didn't approve the surgery. They didn't reject it either. I guess they didn't have time to decide if I was worth it. I was scheduled to arrive at 5AM tomorrow morning, the the hospital called at 6:30 PM to postpone the surgery to some future date TBD.

A real bummer. Even with all your support, I was still pretty stressed out about it. When I told my (adult) daughter about the postponement, I found out how much stress she was hiding from me to keep me calm.

So, I'll wait for a new date and start all over again.

I'll update this thread when I get a new date.

Again, thanks for all your support.

[Pat]

Hoping everything went well today and you're OK.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Hoping everything went well today and you're OK.


As I said above, the hospital called me at 6:30 PM the night before the scheduled 5:00 AM surgery to postpone it.

The surgery was supposed to thread a mitraclip from my femoral artery into my heart to tighten up the leaky mitral valve between the two left chambers of my heart.

The insurance company rejected the procedure because it was "experimental" even though they have been experimenting with it for almost 15 years. Tomorrow, I need to talk to the insurance company to better understand the reason for rejection.

[Pat]

D'oh! :doh: Sorry -- I posted without looking, acting on an impulse before closing up for the night and assuming everything above would be well-wishes. Joke's on me. Sorry about your insurance company. I've been down the "procedure done for decades is experimental" road before. Good luck.

[larry]

Praying for you.
And just a note-I have had several heart surgeries and the best thing I ever did was buy an electric lift chair "mine is a Lazy Boy" not advertising.

[Sarasometimes]

Steffi,
I hate insurance companies!!

Maybe you did this already, but if not, have you considered getting a second opinion? It sounds like you did a lot of research so if I'm out of line, sorry.

[CarlaWestin]

As I said above, the hospital called me at 6:30 PM the night before the scheduled 5:00 AM surgery to postpone it.

I'll do it. I'm pretty good with tools and stuff. I mean, how hard could it be to.........

Seriously, keep us posted.

[Melissa Lange]

Sounds bad, but I'm bet you fly through the surgery! And thanks for the pep talk!

Sincerely, I can't wait to read more of your thoughtful posts in the future.

[krissy]

Your in my prayers I hope every thing goes great .WE all give you a big hug ! good luck .let us know if things went cool:gh::cheer:

[Lana Mae]

Hope you get the insurance thing straightened out! It is a pity they control our lives and all they want is money! Best wishes for a healthy outcome! Hugs Lana Mae

[Sometimes Steffi]

I'll do it. I'm pretty good with tools and stuff. I mean, how hard could it be to.........


Thanks for volunteering; I might take you up on it. ;-)

It's actually pretty easy. All you need to do is to make a small incision in the femoral artery at the groin, thread the mitraclip into the left atrium of the heart, push it past the mitral valve separating the left atrium from the left ventricle and clip it on both sides of the mitral valve.

I'm sure the other doctors can take care of all the hard stuff like inserting the breathing tube down my throat followed by the ultrasound transducer and giving me just enough anesthesia to knock me out, but not so much that it kills me.

No, really.

It's gotten so confusing. The insurance company has a different story every day: (1) experimental. (2) not proven safe and effective. (3) doctor didn't give them enough information to determine if it was safe and effective. IMHO, they are just trying to avoid paying for it. There are several valid mechanisms to appeal this decision, particularly the peer-to-peer discussion between my doctor(s) and theirs.

I chose the mitraclip surgery because it doesn't require stopping ad restarting the heart and being hooked up to a heart-lung machine. I have a congenital neuromuscular disorder and both the heart and the lungs (or at least the diaphragm) are muscles that could be affected by the anesthesia. That makes both the mitraclip surgery and the more traditional open heart surgery more risky for me than the average 65-year old.

Even my doctors are equivocating now. They're not sure if my fatigue is due to the heart valve problem or the neuromuscular problem. At least some of them think it's neuromuscular, which mean heart surgery won't help me. Right now, I'm trying to understand what the disagreement is based on.

This surgery is only performed every couple of weeks, or so, so the next scheduled opening iis December 7 because of the Thanksgiving holiday. I'll keep you posted.