how to tell the wife about this site

[Barbguy]

undefinedhow do i tell the wife about this lovly site , she knows i crossdress and is satisfied with that i sleep in nighties with her and she knows i wear panties and bra's on dayly basies under my work clothes and daily outtings and most of my jeans are ladys and alot of ladys sweaters and so on,but the problem is is she hates me telling others she feels it is our secrete and knowbody els needs to know. she hates chate rooms but i feel this forum could help educate both us and maybe explain a lot of un answerd questions.i don't know. and just so people know i don't run around telling everyone i crossdress but i realy do not hide at home in the closet like i use to i feel if people find out okay and if they don't ok but i'm not ashamed of it , you girls are grate keep up the grate job oh i have this in the favortes so i'm sure the wife will find her way here :)

[Lily_gg]

There's also www.crossdressers-forum.com, which has a whole section for SOs (significant others) - not been there much yet (intend to though), but I've heard good things about it...

[babe4life]

Hi Barbguy, tough one. I know that I would like to see more supportive SO's joining us. It helps keeps a lot of things in perspective. What do others suggest?

Love,
Vicky

[Allison Vamp]

well, unless your wife crossdressess too, i really think there's no reason for her to know about this site, my wife knows about me being a cd, but she would have no interest in this site.

[KewTnCurvy GG]

Barbguy, being in the profession I am, I'm generally pretty good at reading between the lines. So here's what I read, of what you said. It sounds like your wife 'allows' you to dress but doesn't fully understand. She fears discovery as much or, perhaps, more than you. She resents the part of you that puts distance between you and here (i.e., by hanging on the net in chat rooms for example). Being here is affirming and helps you feel not so isolated and helps you understand you better. You think that her coming here would do the same for her.

How close am I to the truth?

hugs
kew

[Tonia]

undefinedhow do i tell the wife about this lovly site , she knows i crossdress and is satisfied with that i sleep in nighties with her and she knows i wear panties and bra's on dayly basies under my work clothes and daily outtings and most of my jeans are ladys and alot of ladys sweaters and so on,but the problem is is she hates me telling others she feels it is our secrete and knowbody els needs to know. she hates chate rooms but i feel this forum could help educate both us and maybe explain a lot of un answerd questions.i don't know. and just so people know i don't run around telling everyone i crossdress but i realy do not hide at home in the closet like i use to i feel if people find out okay and if they don't ok but i'm not ashamed of it , you girls are grate keep up the grate job oh i have this in the favortes so i'm sure the wife will find her way here :)Barb
Any time you need someone to talk to drop me a line.
Tonia:rolleyes:

[Tonia]

Hi Barbguy, tough one. I know that I would like to see more supportive SO's joining us. It helps keeps a lot of things in perspective. What do others suggest?

Love,
Vicky
Vicky, are you having propblems with you mail on this site??

Tonia:mad:

[Lily_gg]

Tonia,

Why would you think that Vicky's having problems with her mail/posts? I'm confused..... :confused:

[ChristineRenee]

Go easy and slow with it there Barbguy. I would tend to agree with you that your wife would probably benefit from interacting on this site. I think my wife would too but she really is not into it. It was hard enough to get her to agree to go to a therapist with me. Understand that they tend to see this as "our" problem and not theirs which, in of itself, IS the problem. A form either of denial or total avoidance. The key is understanding...getting them to understand why we are the way we are and the first priority is to get them to WANT to understand. Many of them don't either by taking the position that it is not normal and unnatural and they would just as soon not to be involved with any of it. The "do it if you must but just not around me" type of attitude. It is not an easy barrier to break down either and with some spouses and SO's you just can't reach them....ever. The divorce rates for people like us tend to reflect that.

So yes, make some overtures to her in that direction and hopefully she will be receptive. I just wouldn't try to force the issue on her...which usually ends up producing the exact opposite result of that which you are seeking.

Good luck!


Love,

Christine

[Barbguy]

thanks to the ones that responded i hope to hear more on this i left out the part that she wants me to be onist and open on everything i do and i'm still trying to find myself or at least stop chasing my tail lol but i hope she understand it helps to talk to other crossdressers again thanks all

[Barbguy]

shoot useing up space but i had to thank you and your right you are very close, and i don't like to go behind her back to come here but like i said i'm tring to find myself in this mess and to asure myself that i'm not alone at this crossdressing i don't realy care what people think but i don't want to be alone and realy don't know why i love to crossdress but i do love to crossdress and i've tryed to stop and was not happy at all in life
thank you

[babe4life]

Tonia,

Why would you think that Vicky's having problems with her mail/posts? I'm confused..... :confused:
Hi Lily,
I can't get into my personal messages to read them at all. Seems like it is affecting almost everyone at the moment (to answer your question Tonia).
Love,
Vicky

[Alexxxa]

HI I feel for you girlfriend you can contact me

[JoannaDees]

This forum is a bit more relaxed in what it allows. It is monitored my a genetic male who likes to have fun just as much as discussing serious issues (ME!) .

Funny thing Julie, when you made that statement I was totally confused. What male, I don't remember anybody else? It actually took 20 seconds or so to think .... Oh, yeah, Julie. ;)

[Tonia]

Hi Lily,
I can't get into my personal messages to read them at all. Seems like it is affecting almost everyone at the moment (to answer your question Tonia).
Love,
VickyThx, Vicky I thought it was just me i left for about three hours and now it's running Fine.

Tonia:eek:

[Julie]

Julie M.]I agree with Lily. I know the forum she mentioned very well and have made many great friends there. It is the best choice I know of to introduce a reluctant spouse to. She can sign on as an SO and that gives her exclusive rights (along with other SOs) to the SO section. Non SOs are not allowed to post there. The forum is owned by a husband and wife team but it's really the wife who controls it. And she is struggling just as most other wives are.

Julie is spot on, the SO section on this site is a godsend where SO's can get real support and more importantly come to realise they are not alone with having a partner who crossdresses,

Julie J

[Donna Louise]

I too have the same problems with regard to staying in the house. I do agree with one post.

Your wife like mine fears discovery more the I do. I am to the point in my life that I don't care. I just want to live free to do as I wish as long as I don't hurt anyone. I can dress in the house, I can sleep in nighties and also wear girly undies all the time.

I joined a Tri Ess chapter here in Va. We had monthly meetings. It was great. You could go as he and change to she and change back before leaving. Every CD and some SO's brought a dish, we had a meeting, dinner and general chat session. It was so much fun. After 1 year my wife basically made me quit.

Sister, I feel your pain. As far as the website goes, if you have it in your favorites you are asking her to discover it. You want her to find it. She will be upset. If she doesn't want you to chat she will be pissed that you are hidding things from her.

You have two roads to go down and must choose one. Either let her find it or try to discuss the possibility of finding a site like this. Gage her reaction and see what she has to say. Believe me I have been married since 1975, I know the wraith of an angry woman, I have seen it more then once - LOL!

Good luck with whichever road you choose. Personally I keep it to myself. We have 4 computers and my wife seldom gets on either one of mine as she has one in her home office.

Hugs
Donna